BIG BIG DILEMMA- I NEE

[Alimcc]

So.

I have two children (both same gender) who I love with all my heart. Now on 3rd pregnancy. I am HOPING AND WISHING for the opposite this time around.

I suffered gender disappointment with second. I tried to sway (unsuccessful) I had researched and ALMOST went for PGD IVF abroad so our wishes could come true. We didn’t. And now we are expecting,

NUB EXPERTS! I need you!!! I have these scans (12 weeks 2 days ) and want to know everyone’s opinions. PLEASEEE.

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The dilemma is - I have the DNA test in a cupboard in my kitchen so I could go and find out right now. I am afraid and scared. Not sure if I should look to prepare myself or leave it until the birth. I don’t want my hopes up. I know I will be ok but I do think I will grieve a little if it’s not what I “hope” as it is my last baby. I know it will be what was meant to be in the end. Please help ladies! X

[atomic sagebrush]

Unfortunately these are all the baby from the side. That sticky outy thing is an ear. And that means that the nub is not going to be at all reliable. The only way to know now is to go get the DNA test!! Good luck and I hope you get what you're wishing for. :heart:

[Alimcc]

Thank you- the tech said the arm was up over the face - but I do see a slight tilt in picture as I can see a face - I thought though the spine looked in good view so I thought maybe was just the head turned slightly?

[Kelbear]

If you had gender disappointment with your second (i did too even though i love him to bits and wouldn't swap him for the world - he and his brother are so close and best mates) just have a think about if you would rather find out now and process that grief/have time to accept/bond with your baby before the sleep deprivation of having a newborn and post natal hormones kick in and make it harder to process this grief if bub is not the gender you hoped for. I never wanted to find out with DS2 but he flashed us at the start of our 20 week dcan, was not confirmed as i asked not to know but there was no doubt. In some ways i’m glad i knew as i had time to process that. Yes i still had GD but the minute he was born i loved him and i think having time to come to terms with that before birth helped me. I hope you get the gender you desire, for me knowing was not what i ever wanted but ultimately better for my mental health. Only you know what is best for you.

[Alimcc]

If you had gender disappointment with your second (i did too even though i love him to bits and wouldn't swap him for the world - he and his brother are so close and best mates) just have a think about if you would rather find out now and process that grief/have time to accept/bond with your baby before the sleep deprivation of having a newborn and post natal hormones kick in and make it harder to process this grief if bub is not the gender you hoped for. I never wanted to find out with DS2 but he flashed us at the start of our 20 week dcan, was not confirmed as i asked not to know but there was no doubt. In some ways i’m glad i knew as i had time to process that. Yes i still had GD but the minute he was born i loved him and i think having time to come to terms with that before birth helped me. I hope you get the gender you desire, for me knowing was not what i ever wanted but ultimately better for my mental health. Only you know what is best for you.



Thank you so much for your personal insight it has helped me - I really need to think it through. I think the point you made about the post partum hormones is very valid and I think there was something in my first delivery (not knowing the sex) that made an adjustment at that stage - I have longed for the other gender since then... (even though I wouldn’t change my children in any way of course that goes without saying) thanks again for your honesty and understanding x

[atomic sagebrush]

Thank you- the tech said the arm was up over the face - but I do see a slight tilt in picture as I can see a face - I thought though the spine looked in good view so I thought maybe was just the head turned slightly?

We could guess on your pictures and give you either false hope or false despair or you could go see the results!!! Please just find out, these are not reliable shots since the baby has to be in exact profile to know (not to mention it's a bit too early as well) and anyone answering on them will just get your hopes up or dash them for no reason since no one can tell.

[Alimcc]

We could guess on your pictures and give you either false hope or false despair or you could go see the results!!! Please just find out, these are not reliable shots since the baby has to be in exact profile to know (not to mention it's a bit too early as well) and anyone answering on them will just get your hopes up or dash them for no reason since no one can tell.


Thanks so much for your feedback - yes you are right. I guess I’m just avoiding finding out the truth!!! It’s maybe easier to keep hope alive - and maybe on some level getting opinions on the nub would have been a “preparation stage” but I agree with you the angle isn’t great and really I maybe just need to rip the plaster off ! Thank u for your advice 💓

[tillytys]

I would never have picked up that that was an ear!! Good spot AS:bigsmile: I thought it was just a funky little nose blur going on but it is def an ear!:) My thinking on what looks to be nub is that it is early but short for a boy but flat for a girl so complete no mans land Im afraid:)

On whether to wait or not, I have waited before and every day was an obsession looking at nubs and looking for numbers on my scan reports:) I didnt get my dg on them occasions but fell instantly in love with my tiny little helpless bundle when I met them, it is a hard decision, good luck x

[Alimcc]

I would never have picked up that that was an ear!! Good spot AS:bigsmile: I thought it was just a funky little nose blur going on but it is def an ear!:) My thinking on what looks to be nub is that it is early but short for a boy but flat for a girl so complete no mans land Im afraid:)

On whether to wait or not, I have waited before and every day was an obsession looking at nubs and looking for numbers on my scan reports:) I didnt get my dg on them occasions but fell instantly in love with my tiny little helpless bundle when I met them, it is a hard decision, good luck x

Thanks for this advice - I think it is the arm not an ear but I Def see what AS says the baby is tilted - yes I am doing the same as you said - nub obsessing. I think I need to find out the sex but I think I will need to have a date / stage of pregnancy in mind. It’s only coming to end of first trimester and I’m maybe just not ready to deal with that emotion.... x thanks

[Nell_]

No way to tell from these photos I'm afraid congratulations on your baby though x