Help with girl sway x

[Florence1]

Hi there, I have two gorgeous boys who are 4 and 10 months. We are starting to get ready to try and get our baby girl. With my first son I conceived a few days after my period and my second boy I conceived just after ovulation. So I am thinking my husband must have quite a high sperm count as we conceived our first son just after Aunt Flo. Both boys were conceived after quite a few alcoholic drinks. A wedding and the day after a big party. I was drinking lots of tea, lots of salad, carbs, not much dairy, lots of red meat, salt on everything, 1 coffee a day no fizzy drinks. So I am thinking I should do the opposite this time?
I have cut out all caffeine apart from Diet Cokes, no red meat, cut down on salt, trying to have more dairy but I hate cows Milk. Cut out breakfast also.
I have irregular cycles so is hard to predict ovulation. My cycles over the last few months have been between 29-33 days. I think ovulation is Around Day 19-22 with about an 11 day luteal phase.

Please have you got any tips and advice on how to help me get our girl?

[atomic sagebrush]

Doing the opposite only works when the stuff you are doing the opposite on, is actually swaying blue. I see people all the time who "do the opposite" and end up actually doing the opposite of things that sway PINK! Imagine that you came into conceiving your boys 80% likely to conceive a boy, and then you did some things that swayed pink and some things that swayed blue, and ended up 60% likely to have a boy. That is STILL going to be more boys than girls conceived on average, but that wouldn't make any sense to then do the opposite of the things that were swaying pink - in fact you could end p making yourself more likely to have a boy than you were the last time! So we've got to be very cautious to continue doing anything you were doing that swayed pink, while ditching the stuff that swayed blue. Your best chance will come from doing what has worked for most people, most of the time rather than thinking that there's some recipe that you personally have to get just right by doing the opposite of everything you've ever done.

We find that coffee and alcohol both sway pink and I would urge you to continue doing those things, not to drop them because you're trying to do the opposite. Tea and red meat do tend to sway blue, so I would def. drop them. Carbs and salad have a role to play in a pink-friendly diet. (You literally can't eat low fat, low protein, AND low carb - that is starvation!!!) Some people believe in the sodium restriction, others have dropped it. I personally got my girl eating tons of sodium after my 4th boy where I was limiting it. Dairy is a gray area as well. The old school sway diets claim high dairy intake sways pink, but myself and many, many others tried those diets and got more boys. That's why we came up with the Low Everything Diet here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/16780-low-everything-diet-nutshell-version.html I got my girl with the LE Diet after getting 4 boys with tons of dairy, and my last two taking high intake calcium/magnesium supplements. I gave all that up to get my girl.

I also got my first boy by having sex a few days after my period ended. It can happen if you ovulate early. How are you determining ovulation?? Would you be willing to try OPK strips?

[Florence1]

Hello and thank you so much for your reply. Ok what your saying makes sense. So at the moment I have a decaf tea with sweetener about 7am then eat about 10.30-11am. Is it ok to have a drink or will this affect my blood sugar levels? Maybe I will swap this for a coffee? I have never had coffee first thing in the morn so may help my sway?

I have been using opks for the last 6 maybe months but my surge happens really quickly and is never really dark. If I test am the line will be getting darker then sometimes by the eve it’s light again. I have just started taking my bbt every am. Do you know much about this? When will I know I am ovulating!

[atomic sagebrush]

I would drop tea totally. There is something in tea that does seem to sway blue. It's totally fine to have coffee in the morning and we allow milk or cream in it, just not sugar. ARtificial sweetener is ok.

Yes I can help you both with the OPK issue and the temping. When are you testing with the OPK? Some times of day are better than others. We need to be sure you're optimizing the time of day you test so you're more likely to get a dark line.

OPK are generally more reliable for PREDICTING ovulation than temping, but temping does allow us to look back and see when you're ovulating and be sure that you have.

[Florence1]

Ok I will totally cut out the tea. Makes sense as I was drinking loads of it when I conceived my boys. Is peppermint tea ok. How many cups of coffee do you recommend a day?

I test every morn with first morning wee. Then in the evening. When the line starts getting darker then I test every 3 hours. If I get a darker line in the am, a lot of the time it’s faded by the eve. Not sure if I can upload pics on here to show you?

[Florence1]

Also I am so sorry I’m getting so confused on timing and frequency of when we should bd. I’ve been looking at baby dust method for months but as my ovulation Bc z mday always changes I’m not sure when we should attempt our girl sway. I have seen so many failed perfect sways with the Bdm. But loads of imperfect sways with two baby dances work. I am 34 and my husband is 31. So I think I read hubbie should abstain for 7 days. I have read having more than one bd alters the vaginal ph? All this is a minefield 😫

[atomic sagebrush]

I like to see you guys keeping any kind of herbal tea such as peppermint to 2-3 times a week max. In that amount they can't have any medicinal effects (if there are any that we don't know about) that could sway blue or mess up your cycle. For example, peppermint tea was thought to sway pink but it messed people's cycles up so badly, and wasn't a reliable way to sway pink, so we dropped it. We were having too many people who could not get pregnant while using it, and it wasn't helping sways, so it was more trouble than it was worth. Just keep any kind of herb tea to 2-3 servings per week, and you can mix and match teas in that group so you can have lots of herbal tea, just all different kinds.

The hormone that makes your OPK positive peaks in your urine at lunchtime. So it may be that by testing in the morning and at night you're simply missing the surge. Try testing after lunch to see if that helps.

The Babydust Method stole our one attempt and then combined it with the old Shettles timing stuff (which doesn't work, and is impossible to do for anyone with irregular cycle as you are already aware - not to mention the number of people who have their cycle change while swaying even if it IS normally regular). It is not a good method and people not only get scads of opposites with it, but they waste many months and even years trying it (and since it's only been out since 2016, the number of people who have spent a year trying to conceive with it is staggering!)

So what I would have you do instead is this:

We will still do one attempt to start with, since we have seen that work for people. (but not indefinitely, and if you don't conceive in a reasonable time we will change that.)

If you WANT timing, get a fertility monitor or Clearblue digital tester that gives you both "high" and "peak" reading. Aim at having one attempt at the second "high" reading (but be aware it is possible to have many days of "high" or go straight to "peak" without any highs, so have a plan in place what you will do if either of those events happpens)

If you don't care about timing, have one attempt at "peak" since this is a good time to conceive with one attempt.

Yes, you can have your hubby abstain for 7-10 days prior to one attempt (even up to 14)

Don't worry about sex altering the vaginal pH, that has never been proven and in fact a lot of evidence indicates the pH stuff doesn't work at all https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/11684-ph-pickle.html Just have the one UNPROTECTED attempt.

[Florence1]

That’s really helpful. Thank you so much for making it a lot clearer. I have some clear blue digital monitors so will try that this month. We are cycle day 9 today and usually ovulate around cd 19-22 so we will abstain from now until then and see how we get on. Thanks again.

[atomic sagebrush]

Good luck!

[Florence1]

Atomic I need your help please. I think I have messed our sway up this month :-( I am cycle day 17 today still light opk. We dtd last night with pull out method. Is this going to mess up our sway now? Shall we wait until next month as husband hasn’t abstained? I am due to ovulate cd 19 ish. Shall I still wait for my second flashing smiley face or skip this month?

[atomic sagebrush]

No, that won't mess up your sway. You should still try this month. Just wait for either your second flashy smiley (if you want timing) or your peak (if you don't care about timing) and that's fine.

[Florence1]

Thank you! I got a solid smiley this morn so think I will ovulate today or tomorrow. I am confused about timing? If we bd tonight wouldn’t that be on blue territory? I thought it was best to bd 2-3 days before ovulation for the best change of a girl? Sorry atomic this is our last chance for a girl so really want to do everything right x

[atomic sagebrush]

Timing doesn't work. It's been completely debunked, as thoroughly as it's possible for something in science to BE debunked, and you can read the science about that here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/7691-trouble-timing.html

Most of us on here have 2-3-4 or more timing opposites. It's fine if you want to use timing at the start, but after you've been trying a long time you need to let it go and have that one attempt at a point in the cycle you can actually get pregnant from it.

[Florence1]

Great thanks again. Sorry I am being such a pest 🤪

[atomic sagebrush]

Not at all, happy to help.

[Florence1]

Hi Atomic,
I wonder if you can help me. I have been trying for my 3rd baby (girl sway) for quite a while now. Well I’m still not pregnant! I think I may have a hormonal in balance. I have booked an appointment with my gp for next week. I have done my research and I think I may have a progesterone deficiency. I have purchased some natural lavender progesterone cream and conceive plus ovulation support capsules which contain myo-inositol, coq10 and ginger extract. If I some how do fall pregnant, will these effect my girl sway? Thank you


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[atomic sagebrush]

Please tell me what you were doing to sway.

Do you have PCOS? What is your weight? What sway diet have you been following and for how long?

DO NOT start using lavender progesterone cream or Conceive Plus capsules till after you have been to your doctor and gotten your tests back. Taking myoinositol if you don't need it is worse than nothing and can cause your cycle to stop all together. Myoinositol is only for people who need it and we have not determined if you are one of those people.

In fact, never use the lavender progesterone cream at all. Take it to the store and get your money back. It cannot help you. If you need progesterone you need it from your doctor, prescription strength. That stuff is not going to help you at all and may mess up your cycle, possibly even make it more likely that you have a miscarriage.

Tell me why you think you have a progesterone deficiency. 90% of the people who self diagnose themselves with progesterone deficiency do not have one. Treating yourself for a problem you do not have will simply make it harder for you to get pregnant, not easier.

[Florence1]

Thanks for your reply. I have been swaying since March. I started off doing quite a lot but as the months have gone on I have dropped a few things. At the moment I am
Skipping breakfast
Drinking coffee
Alcohol af-o
Diet Coke daily
LE diet but having quite a few cheat days as I am getting fed up of it
Was doing ph with rephesh but have dropped that
Have done 5,4,3,2,1 day cut off. Done on O day last month and still no luck
Was taking fibre but have dropped them
Cut out tea, bananas and red meat.
Cut down on potatoes and tomatoes
Using opks chepie and clear blue to confirm.

I don’t have PCOS that I am aware of.
I am 9 stone and 5ft 3 inches. Have lost nearly a stone but some of that was baby weight.

Ok I won’t take any of it for now. I will wait and see what the doctor says.
I have started having very long cycles. Spotting heavily for 4-5 days before my period. Then bleeding for 7-8 days. So bleeding for nearly 2 weeks.
Spotting starts normally 8 days past ovulation.
Hair loss
Very painful, heavy periods
Feeling low/ anxious
It took nearly a year to fall pregnant with my second son and had a miscarriage before I conceived him.

I know I shouldn’t self diagnose, but I definitely feel something isn’t quite right with my hormones.


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[atomic sagebrush]

But you've just been doing one attempt this whole time?

[Florence1]

We started off with one attempt. We have gradually increased it. We had 4 attempts last month.


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[atomic sagebrush]

We started off with one attempt. We have gradually increased it. We had 4 attempts last month.


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In what pattern were the attempts and when?

[Florence1]

This month we bd cd 9, 10 and 13. Think I ovulated cd 14 but not entirely sure. Then every 4 days after that.
I normally ovulate cd 17-21 but got no positive opk this cycle. High reading cd 14 but no peak.

Previous month bd cd 11, 13 and 17 peak opk cd 19

Just to add I think I ovulate quite soon after my peak opk. Lots of cramping and only get 1-2 strong lines on opk before they fade again.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Thanks for your reply. I have been swaying since March. I started off doing quite a lot but as the months have gone on I have dropped a few things. At the moment I am
Skipping breakfast
Drinking coffee
Alcohol af-o
Diet Coke daily
LE diet but having quite a few cheat days as I am getting fed up of it
Was doing ph with rephesh but have dropped that
Have done 5,4,3,2,1 day cut off. Done on O day last month and still no luck
Was taking fibre but have dropped them
Cut out tea, bananas and red meat.
Cut down on potatoes and tomatoes
Using opks chepie and clear blue to confirm.

I don’t have PCOS that I am aware of.
I am 9 stone and 5ft 3 inches. Have lost nearly a stone but some of that was baby weight.

Ok I won’t take any of it for now. I will wait and see what the doctor says.
I have started having very long cycles. Spotting heavily for 4-5 days before my period. Then bleeding for 7-8 days. So bleeding for nearly 2 weeks.
Spotting starts normally 8 days past ovulation.
Hair loss
Very painful, heavy periods
Feeling low/ anxious
It took nearly a year to fall pregnant with my second son and had a miscarriage before I conceived him.

I know I shouldn’t self diagnose, but I definitely feel something isn’t quite right with my hormones.


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I just want to be able to see this post on the second page

[atomic sagebrush]

ok. so you did not have four attempts this month. You had ONE attempt this month. The other attempts were too far out to count.

Cramping and how long the lines stay dark do not tell you when ovulation occurs. So you can't know if you're ovulating soon after a positive OPK. The rate when the OPK go negative is meaningless. You can have a positive OPK and have already ovulated, or a negative test that goes negative before ovulation.

What I want you to do first of all is to have attempts every 4 days in the 72 hour pattern all cycle long starting after your period ends and going on till you're sure you've ovulated, even if that means going all the way thru till your next cycle begins.

Then if you really want best chances of conception I would add in one more attempt at positive OPK (or high if you never get a true positive)

I want to hold off making any changes till you hear from your doc but if you're eating tons of sugar let's ease off of that. And I want you eating a serving of full fat dairy every day and 4-6 eggs a week. I also want you adding in iron 30-60 mg daily for the next 6 weeks then going to 3x a week maintenance dose. I do definitely think what you're describing calls for followup with a doctor who can test your hormones.

[Florence1]

Thanks for your reply.
That all sounds good to me. Interesting about the opks. Never knew any of that.

We will give all that a try and see how we get on [emoji1694] Will let you know what the doctor days.
Thanks again x


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[Florence1]

Hey atomic, me again. I’ve been reading up on your timing, frequency pattern and i have totally confused myself. So before talking to you we were going to try frequent release everyday (outside of me) then bd on peak opk. We have missed a few days so have messed that up already. So now you said to do the e4d method. I have read your section on this and you say to either do every 4th or 5th day. So we dtd on thurs 26th nov. When shall we do it again? You said e4d but in the 72 hour pattern? I am being totally thick here, but please can you tell me in laymen’s terms when we should be dtd. I really don’t want to mess this up. I am thinking of maybe even purchasing one of your packages so you can tell me exactly what to do hahah! I am reading so much information that my head is scrambled x


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[atomic sagebrush]

Count the days like this: 26th - attempt (1) 27th - skip (2), 28th - skip (3), 29 (that is TODAY) ATTEMPT! (4) So you can see how people consider that every 4 days. Another way to think of it, is Monday/Thurdsay...not those days per se but that's how you count the days.

I always appreciate the plans as that allows me to do this as my full time job! But do what will work for you.

[Florence1]

Right I get it thank you. We will attempt tonight. What has the best success rate have you found? Abstain, frequent or e4d?
Please can you post the link for the personal plans. Thank you x


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[atomic sagebrush]

Neither abstain nor FR has really worked. It's fine to try them if you want but they should be dropped before adding attempts.

The real thing that sways is one attempt. But e4d IS one attempt really. Because you never are in the fertile window (O-3 thru O Day) with more than one attempt. In most cases you will end up with either one attempt on o-1 or O-2 (because the O-4/5 attempts really are terribly low chances of conception) and then in the case of O-3 and O Day, O-3 is also low chances, and if there's any sperm left over, it will have a chance at the egg before the O Day shot is even deposited, let alone capacitated. And if there's not anything left from the O-3, then the O Day shot will have a chance. Still one attempt either way.

Info about the personal plans is here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/payments.php

[Florence1]

That’s great thanks so much. I will have a look at the plans you do. Thanks again x


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[Florence1]

Hey Atomic me again!
I got my solid smiley face this morn on my clear blue advanced monitor. Cd 15 so early for me again. It was negative yesterday so has skipped the flashing stage and gone straight to peak! My husband had already left for work so didn’t dtd this morn. My opks are already fading, although I didn’t get a really strong line this morn anyway. It’s our 4th day today so will dtd tonight. Is this still girl safe for my girl sway? Worried I’ve missed the window now!
Also wanted to update you. I had a scan and all looks ok with my ovaries, womb lining etc [emoji1360] If I don’t fall this month I will be having a blood test at the start of next cycle to check my hormone levels.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Yes that's what I would want you to do for a girl. The night of the positive test. It doesn't need to be immediately.

[Florence1]

Hi Atomic, I hope you are well.
Sorry to take up your time but I am getting really fed up. I am coming on my period again :( we have been trying since March. I’m sure you don’t remember all of our conversations but basically after your advice we tried e4d. Last month we got carried away over Xmas and bd everyday for 4 days. The last being 5 hours before peak. I have been on the LE diet since March but have a lot of cheat days. My luteal phase has gone from 11 days to 8 days. This month I started spotting 4dpo. I have been to the gp and bloods and scan was all normal. I really don’t know what to do now :( what could be causing such a short luteal phase? My diet is ALOT unhealthier than it was when I conceived my boys. Could this be affecting my cycles? My body isn’t used to all the artificial sweeteners and white carbs. I’ve always been so careful of what I put in my body, but since trying for a girl I feel I maybe lacking something. Have you any experience with this please? I am taking folic acid at the moment but that is it. Thanks.


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[atomic sagebrush]

We're going to need to work on your diet I suspect. What do you mean when you say "all the artificial sweeteners and white carbs"? I'll go back and reread the thread but any info you can give me about what you're eating will really help

[Florence1]

So when I conceived my boys I avoided sweeteners the the plague. I’ve always gone with if you are gonna have someone go for the full fat option. To avoid all the artificial sweeteners. Now I am having 3 coffees a day with aspartame. 1 Diet Coke. Low fat yogurt which normally has aspartame in. Carbs I would have always gone for the whole grain option. Now I have white bread,pasta and rice. Maybe I have changed my diet so much that my body is adjusting?


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[atomic sagebrush]

Can you give me calories, and grams of protein and fat?

I need to be sure you're getting enough of the right things and not too much to have disrupted your cycles.

[Florence1]

I’m not keeping track of it anymore. So not sure how much of these I am having. I do have a lot of cheat days though. Especially when Aunt Flo arrives. When I am being good though a typical day would be coffee with sweetener about 7am, 11-12 ish a white bread cheese sandwich with a packet of crisps and Diet Coke, 2 lattes with sweetener, dinner 5pm rice, salmon and veg or chicken with pasta, yogurt or chocolate after, a few glasses of wine. This week though I have had McDonald’s, pizza lots of crisps because I am fed up and comfort eating. I have lost weight but I am not under weight. 9 stone and 5ft 3 inches.


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[atomic sagebrush]

It would be really helpful to me even if you just took what you feel to be an average day and added it up. You would be surprised how many times people do that and realize they're basically starving themselves.

[Florence1]

Ok so I have added up today and I have had 1,300 calories. Today I have eaten more than I normally would so maybe I’m not eating enough. Would this cause a short luteal phase? I have been spotting for 5 days now. Still waiting for af to start properly.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Yes this can absolutely cause a short LP. Especially if you're not getting enough fat in addition.

Your period should come in time but if it doesn't sometimes the spotting can act as a period, if it goes on long enough.

[Florence1]

Right ok thanks. Is it healthy fats like eggs, avocado etc?

I have been having this for the last few months. My period normally comes 4-5 days after the spotting then I get a very heavy period for 7-8 days [emoji20]


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[atomic sagebrush]

full fat dairy, eggs, a little salmon, oil, that kind of thing.

Yes something is very wrong with this. That's not what we want to be seeing. I want you to add in 30-60 mg iron daily for 6 weeks and then reduce dose to 3x a week.

Are you taking aspirin or cranberry?

[Florence1]

Ok thank you I will try this. No I’m not taking any cranberry or aspirin. I’ve just purchased some vitamin b6 as I heard this can help extend luteal phase?


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[Florence1]

I have had a blood test done and they said all was normal [emoji2368] there is another blood test to see if I am ovulating so I will call the doctors tomorrow to get this booked.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Ok thank you I will try this. No I’m not taking any cranberry or aspirin. I’ve just purchased some vitamin b6 as I heard this can help extend luteal phase?


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I don't think you should take the B6. That is not what the problem is, and B6 messes up far more people's cycles than it fixes. You need to fix your diet. Not fixing diet and then adding B6 will end up with you having a very delayed ovulation in addition to a short LP.

[atomic sagebrush]

I have had a blood test done and they said all was normal [emoji2368] there is another blood test to see if I am ovulating so I will call the doctors tomorrow to get this booked.


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please keep me posted with your results! We can fix this, it's no biggie, we do it all the time!

[Florence1]

Thank you so much! I really do appreciate your time and help. I think I have been so obsessed with getting my girl I’ve stopped looking after myself. Really silly of me. X


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[atomic sagebrush]

It happens all the time and is the Number One reason we started this site!

[Florence1]

I think I may be pregnant [emoji7] This month I didn’t use opks at all. First time in a year. I didn’t think I could get pregnant with my short luteal phase as spotting. We did the e4d method like you suggested and this month I have eaten more eggs, salmon and avocado. I took two pregnancy tests this morn and got a very very faint positive. Will test again tomorrow. I know you don’t recommend it at all but I started taking 600mg of vitex about 6 weeks ago. It helped my cycle massively and believe this is how I have finally fallen pregnant . I read your post about it causing miscarriage If stopped suddenly. If I am pregnant,Shall I continue to take it every day until I’m 12 weeks? Thank you [emoji4]


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[atomic sagebrush]

No, you need to come off it now. Wean off over the next couple weeks.

[Florence1]

Thank you Atomic!!
I can’t thank you enough for all your help with my girl sway. Sneak peek came back girl and yesterday I had my 16 gender scan and can confirm she is in a baby girl [emoji3059] I am on cloud 9. I’m going to have a daughter [emoji3590] thank you xx


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[atomic sagebrush]

That's FANTASTIC!!! Huge congrats!