Me: 37 Dh: 50, no gender preference anymore... Just want to conceive!!!

[asister_formyboys]

My Dh and I have been trying for 4 months now with no luck. I have used opks for all 4 months. I cut my coffee, take prenatals and folic acid, exercise 40 mins Mon-Fri, 5-6 glasses of water a day, and about 8 hrs of sleep a night. He also takes multivitamin and exercise 5 days a week for 40 minutes. Is it my age, his age??? I kind of want to go see a fertility specialist now as I am so impatient. I have an appt with ob/gyn but not until Jan 6th. Do I rush things and go to my PCP to get a referral to the specialist or hold on a few more months? I am so worried I can't conceive anymore. Our boys are 16 and 8. I do not have gender preference anymore. I just desperately want my third baby before I am too old!! Please help!!

[atomic sagebrush]

What kind of diet are you eating? If you don't mind my asking, what is your and your husband's BMI?

What prenatals are you taking and vitamins is your husband taking? Are you guys taking any other supplements?

Is your husband doing anything like jogging or biking?

[asister_formyboys]

A typical day for me is coffee, grain toast with cheese& butter and either fruit or whole milk greek yogurt for breakfast. Usually at lunch it will be either a sandwich/chilli/pasta or rice dish of some kind. In the afternoon I always have coffee and a snack. Then dinner is usually a meat,vegetables and some kind of starch like potatoes/rice/pasta. Or spaghetti/ grilled meats/ burgers or tacos. Then for dessert it may be a nutella or peanut butter sandwich.
I am not sure about exact bmi but I carry about 20lbs of extra weight and dh about 30lbs. I would say it isn't fat exactly, more like muscle ???actually I am probably in denial ... it's probably fat! We both use the elliptical and resistant weight (bowflex kind) I take the walmart prenatal (name is spring valley??) He takes one a day for 50+ and we both take chewable vitamin C. I take a separate folate tab as well as prenatal. Not sure if Apple cider vinegar is considered a supplement but dh has 3 spoonfuls daily. He isn't taking it for conception. He has been using it for over a year.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, your diet doesn't sound too bad for conception, it's slightly carby but not terrible. If you want better chance of conception you might want to lower carbs a bit and avoid sugar. I would have you have full fat dairy only, no skim dairy. But this isn't jumping out at me as a reason why you wouldn't be conceiving.

Spring Valley and Men's over 50 fine. Let's add in Coq10 200-400 mg a day all cycle, and myoinositol 500 mg from AF-O and 500 mg every other day from O-AF. At BFP, gradually wean off these by spacing doses further and further out til down to one per week, then you can drop them.

how much vitamin c?

It's ok for your husband to continue the ACV but I don't want you using it.

[asister_formyboys]

Ok. Will lower carbs and sugar. Only whole dairy.

Is there any particular brand of Coq10 /Myoinositol ? And this is for me to take ,not dh ??

We take a 500mg chewable Vitamin C daily.
I take a separate 800mcg folic acid too, is that ok?

Would you recommend for my husbands age to do every other day, say for october I was thinking 14,16,18 (likely pos opk) 19,20 day off 21 then one more time 22??

Sorry, just one more thing.... is aspartame in drinks ok to have. I hear conflicting views on artificial sweetener and conception??

I appreciate your advice so much, Thank you ��

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't recommend brands, there are too many and they're always changing so I could never keep up with it all.

Just you to take on the coq and myo

500 is ok but no more than that on Vit. C

:agree: yes I prefer more like 1200-1600 mcg total of folic acid for pink swayers.

Re the pattern of intercourse, are you trying for max odds conception or are you still trying to sway pink.

I suggest keeping aspartame to the safe and sane 2-3 servings a day.

My pleasure!

[asister_formyboys]

At this point we are looking for maximum odds of conception! I just want a healthy baby asap!!

[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: ok yes in that case you'd want to do a SMEP (sperm meets egg plan) approach like you're describing. A really good description of the SMEP is here: https://pregnancyloss.info/sperm-meets-egg-plan/

[asister_formyboys]

Thank you so much for your help! I Will keep you updated!

[asister_formyboys]

Beatrice Callan ~ Yes, I agree. I need to reduce the carbs.
I have added shellfish and avocados. I will look into flaxseed oil.
I would like to get thyroid checked and hormones checked in general, but can't see specialist until January. Unfortunately.
Thanks so much for your advice!

[atomic sagebrush]

"Beatrice Callan" was sneakily spamming the site, appearing to be a user at first so she could then make suggestions for things she promoted and sold. Do not take ANY of the advice she gave. She has been banned.

DO NOT TAKE FLAXSEED OIL when pregnant or trying to conceive. It has been proven to cause premature labor, has been linked to subchorionic hemorrhage, and may cause developmental delays and birth defects in a baby's genitals (the latter actually happened to someone on here and she was told this by a specialist.)

DO NOT ADD SHELLFISH AND AVOCADO. While it's fine to eat those things in moderation on a pink sway diet within the limits of the day (keep shellfish to no more than 2x a week) they are not particularly beneficial to conception, that is utter nonsense. You get everything supposedly in those foods, in any prenatal vitamin and a normal diet. You are not adding anything that will help your conception and in the case of shellfish, too much of it may actually be HARMFUL as shellfish is like a sponge, it sucks up all sorts of pesticide runoff and mercury in ocean water. No more than 2x a week.

[afya1]

Atomic, I make Guacamole and eat avocados and eggs. Are they not good for fertility or for blue swayers?


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[atomic sagebrush]

Atomic, I make Guacamole and eat avocados and eggs. Are they not good for fertility or for blue swayers?


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Yes, those are good for fertility and for blue sways. My point is that eating an avocado does not magically make you get pregnant when you weren't before, and the user I was responding to wants a girl anyway (but now needs to get pregnant) so I hesitate to see her adding in TOO many healthy things like an avocado because it a) will not help her magically get pregnant and b) may work against her when swaying pink.

I ate SCADS of avocado when I got my 3rd and 4th boys.

[afya1]

Avocados came into my life during Qurantine and ever since March I’ve been eating them every week sometimes more. Avacado eggs or just avocados on toast and Guacamole. It’s just delish.. how about ground/whole flaxseed? Are they good for conceiving?


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[afya1]

Sorry I would like to add, I know there’s no magic food but I hust wanted to get an idea of overall foods that can help boost fertility.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Avocados came into my life during Qurantine and ever since March I’ve been eating them every week sometimes more. Avacado eggs or just avocados on toast and Guacamole. It’s just delish.. how about ground/whole flaxseed? Are they good for conceiving?


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All those avocado/egg things are great for blue.

Please do not use flaxseed. I wrote at the top of this page why flaxseed is not safe in anything more than occasional dietary use (by which I mean a piece of bread with flaxseed or cereal with flaxseed a couple times a week NOT a scoop of ground flaxseed).

[atomic sagebrush]

Sorry I would like to add, I know there’s no magic food but I hust wanted to get an idea of overall foods that can help boost fertility.


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the best thing you can do to boost fertility is to eat a wide variety of fruit, veg, whole grains, full fat dairy, natural meat, healthy fats like in avocado, olive oil, and nuts, and some naturally occurring saturated fats in butter, ghee, and coconut oil. Avoid sugar, skim dairy, processed meats, and white refined grains.

[afya1]

All those avocado/egg things are great for blue.

Please do not use flaxseed. I wrote at the top of this page why flaxseed is not safe in anything more than occasional dietary use (by which I mean a piece of bread with flaxseed or cereal with flaxseed a couple times a week NOT a scoop of ground flaxseed).

Thank you Atomic. I’ve been reading up a lot about how flaxseed (ground and oil) are good for fertility, but I do remember you mentioned too much Omega 3 isn’t good for us?


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[atomic sagebrush]

It isn't that. It is that there are chemicals in flaxseed and flax oil that have hormonal-like effects and have been definitively proven to cause harm when consumed in more than occasional, dietary amounts. Eating a bread with flaxseed in it a couple times a week when pregnant is fine. But taking flax oil supplements or using a scoop of ground flax a couple times a day is DANGEROUS, proven dangerous and not just rumored like a lot of things, and thus it really must be avoided in anything beyond occasional use both when pregnant and trying to conceive.

The people saying it is "good for fertility" are either a) selling flax products and do not care who they hurt by it or b) simply parroting old research that did not capture the potential risks of the flaxseed. Flaxseed has been 100% proven to alter the levels of sex hormones in the body (both estrogen and progesterone) and that is not something you want to be using during pregnancy, nor do you want to be taking it and then STOP taking it and triggering those levels to fluctuate.

Flaxseed has been linked to increased rates of miscarriage in animals, premature labor (this is quite a strong link with lots of good evidence backing it up) and defects of the genitals of babies (this actually happened to someone on this site and her doctors told her it was caused by the flaxseed smoothies she drank every day)

Additionally, flaxseed is vastly inferior source of Omega 3 than fish oil anyway. It has less Omega 6 (the stuff that may sway pink) but still has quite a bit, and additionally, yes, I have concerns that too much Omega 3 will also lower cholesterol and that then lowers sex hormones = more likely to have a girl.

Regardless of what you read on any other site, the flaxseed is a very bad idea for anyone TTC, esp. anyone TTC a boy.