11w and 14w scan - obviously failing sway :-(

[Onelastchance]

Hey Atomic,
Hello everyone,

40yr old, 4th child, 2nd sway (1st : Dr Papa, 2nd : LE diet with coaching), and 4th boy on the way :-(. It took 7 months to conceive, so I was happy to be pregnant, but now I can't stop feeling like I want to cry all the time. So much effort, so much time, so much sacrifice, no mother, no sister, no daughter, crushed dream...

I wanted to go team green, because I know I would get another boy and didn't want to feel like this and cry for a baby I am goind to love so much anyway. I just wanted to feel happy for 9 months, and welcome my 4th little boy on D-Day. But on 14weeks4 days ultruasound, I asked my doctor not to say anything, she asked me to look away in the beginning, and it took her maybe 5 seconds to see the gender...and baby was on the side. She must have seen it immediately, and that means it can only be a boy...also heard from her voice, the way she said ok my darling have a quick look, that she was sad and disapointed for me. She never looked between the legs. Hubby aked her if she saw anything, she aid she wouldn't say if she saw cause then I would know...but clearly she did see instanly :-(.

I also saw something "floating" between the legs on the ultrasound... I don't have a nub picture, and i supose skull theory points for boy and jaw very much points for boy... it's over for me. I have to accept.

Here are the pics.

3 pics from 11weeks 1 day ultrasound (a bit early maybe for skull theory)
1 pic from 14weeks5days ultrasound (and I see a penis between the legs right ?)

Thanks for sharing your view. I will need to face truth anyway.

Onelastchance ... becoming nomorechances after 4th c-section.

[Onelastchance]

Anyone?

[atomic sagebrush]

There is nothing in any of these that has gender. You can't tell gender in the 11th week and whatever you're seeing in the 14th week is NOT GENITALS. Your doctor deliberately blanked out the appropriate stuff for you. Genitals are flesh, and so they don't show up easily. That is bone, either leg bone or spine you're seeing, because bones show up more clear. not even in the right place to be the genitals!!

As for your doctor, I have heard similar stories from people in the past and have discussed this topic with ultrasound techs I've met over the years, and the fact is that the doctors and techs literally do not care what the gender of our babies are. They are there to determine health, and that is all they care about, because they see many sad things happen to people that are so much more devastating than gender. In fact (and I have heard this from several techs now) they find gender related things by far and away the most irritating part of their job because it takes extra effort on their part for something that they are trained not to care about. So I seriously doubt your doctor was feeling at all sad and disappointed for you. She may have even been somewhat irritated she had to change up her normal procedure upon your request (there are quite a few doctors/techs who think gender desire is an undesirable thing and are judgmental over it.) Or, she may have been doing exactly what she normally does and it seemed like a bigger deal to you because you have so much riding on it.

At this point I can only say 50-50. Obviously it's best to just guard your heart, go into it expecting a boy, but in my opinion there is no gender revealed on these.

[Onelastchance]

Thanks Atomic,

I do know my doctor was disappointed for me. She's been my doctor for 20 years now, and is the king who cried with me when I lost my baby. She has become a friend over the years, one who is invited to all my kid's birthdays and who comes along...

If she allowed for a 4th c section, it was to allow me one last chance for a girl.

I did see something floating in between the legs, just above the leg actually, in the exact position baby is now, except the leg was a little lower. And it was like something showing up just beneath the cord.

I was hoping that thing we see in 14wks scan was a long, thin female nub, but now I guess it is obvious it isn't one like you explained. So I have ZERO hope... For my number 3, she kept looking between the legs to see what it was even though I didn't want to know... and now she didn't even have to look.

I already know it is a boy, and even though I will enjoy loving that little one, it breaks my heart knowing I will have to deal with that "whole" in my heart and my life, until the rest of my life.

I was sooooo sick, still am at 16 weeks, I thought I had a chance... but now belly is identical to the other ones.

Any thoughts on skull theory ?

[atomic sagebrush]

The pics are not the type of pic I'd feel good about guessing skull on, they're just not clear.

I'm still praying for good news for you :heart:

[Onelastchance]

Hey Atomic,

Thanks for your reply. Since that ultrasound I wake up everymorning with the feeling that I have a knife planted in the middle of my heart... so unfair for that little beauty baby inside, but I can't help it. Will I have to live my whole life with that hole in my heart, with that bleeding feeling everytime a friend, a cousin has a baby girl, or hearing those words in my head "don't look at baby girl clothes" everytime I walk in a store... for the rest of my life...

I am in denial for sure, but still trying to have that little hope that that dream could happen to me too...

I have a question : do you think it's possible for an experienced tech to see that a baby is a baby girl within seconds in a 15 week ultrasound ? I do not know what she looked at for the first 15 seconds, but I suppose she would have looking for a nice view of baby before she tells me to look at the screen...and probably make sure that the gender is hidden... I did not see her look in between the legs at any point.

I have been looking at tons and tons of ulstrasounds on youtube since then... I have seen boy ultrasound thinking thats exactly what i saw! Then a couple of girls ultrasound where that's also what I could have seen just above the legs maybe the cordon...

Has it hapened to anyone that your doctor saw within seconds that you were expecting a girl at around 15sa? I would think that the doctor can only see a boy within seconds and would need to look around to know if it;s a girl...

Any stories would help with the wait... even though it will probably only feed the denial!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, it is absolutely true a trained tech can tell a baby is a girl at 15 weeks in a matter of seconds.

At my ultrasound (at 13 weeks - so much less visible than 15 weeks) the tech heard I had four boys and said "I just want to check something", looked at the genitals, said "yep!" within seconds, and then shut the machine off. This all took place in the span of maybe 30 seconds tops.

[Onelastchance]

Wow... i can't imagine what you must have felt then!!!

She didn't check though... that's what made me realise she saw without a doubt in a few seconds from baby's profile ... didn't even need to double check by looking at genitals... :-/ ...

But again, i don't know what her first image was, i wasn't looking for the first maybe 10 seconds... that's a very short period of time to find out for sure... :-(...

[BunnyGirl19]

At 15 weeks it’s usually easy to tell right away the baby’s gender if they get the right angles and it can be determined earlier depending on a few things. At my 13-week scan we were trying to find and view the nub and it was really difficult. The brief glimpses of it showed it appearing to be short and pointing down and not moving around at all. The tech decided to check a potty shot saying that most of the time with a clear shot we can tell, especially with there not being a clear nub anymore, but that I’d have to say what I saw before she could say anything. She zoomed in on baby A and adjusted the view from different angles and we saw what looked to be a textbook girl shot completely flat between the legs, the lines equal and parallel, and no protrusion at all. She was pretty confident it was a girl. We repeated the nub and potty shots on baby B with very similar findings. She said she’d give 90% confidence we had girls with how completely flat between the legs everything was and the equally parallel lines. When I saw my doctor after the scan I was told the blood test indicated girls. I’m waiting on them to reconfirm at my next scan, though. It seems too good to be true to have two girls. LOL

[rebekahlaurenn]

Oh I know how you feel! At my 12 week ultrasound for one of my boys, the guy could tell the gender in 2 seconds and I knew that only meant a boy! And it was a boy! I do remember one lady though her username is noemi2017 where she wrote in the comments she was team green but at the 12 week ultrasound the doctor was very confident he knew what the gender was and it was so easy to see so she automatically thought it was a boy and just prayed it was wrong. She came out all girl at the end! Sometimes the doctor can see quickly but it doesn’t mean a boy! But I know how that feels as it happened to me and it was in fact a boy. Big hugs to you, I know the heartbreaking feeling, I had gender disappointment with all my sons even the first!

[Onelastchance]

Yeah, well that's exactly what I think happened... she saw boy instantly and didn't even require double checking :-(

[atomic sagebrush]

Nothing we can say will convince you otherwise. We are all hoping girl for you though.

[Onelastchance]

Yeah I know, I am soooo sure it's a boy, i dont know why im looking for hope... but well, i know you above anyone can understand that :-)

I know you said my pics didn't show any gender... but could this be the boynub ? A friend of mine tole me it looked like it :-( She is dead sure I am having a boy...i hope he's wrong with the picture

[Onelastchance]

I don't why i can't upload...i tried 3 different browsers... any idea why Atomic ? I would really love your opinion on what my friend thinks... I trust yours far more ;-)

Anyway it's on the 11w ultrasound, the one where we can see all the details and measurements ... age, CRL etc.. in the pics I sent you first in this post... there is a little white something that could look like a boy nub, a little right of the small measurement cross... you think that could be it ? Hoping hes very wrong...

[atomic sagebrush]

Please feel free to email me the pic at atomicsagebrush@gmail.com and I'll look.

You can't tell gender on 11 week pictures though. Boys and girls look the same at that stage. Whatever you think you're seeing it isn't a boy nub.

[atomic sagebrush]

If you're talking about the first pic on those pictures, you could not use that as a nub shot anyway (even if it was farther along) because the baby is not laying flat. You can't use a nub unless the baby is totally flat.

[Onelastchance]

Hey Atomic, no the first one is 14 weeks..

The other one with measurement, age and everything, the 11week one. But I sent it to you by email.

Thank you so much for your help again :-)

[Onelastchance]

Hi Atomic, please let me know where to post my failed sway

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh no I'm so sorry to hear it didn't go the way we were hoping. Thank you for updating and hugest congrats on your new son~

It's here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/add-your-girl-sway-/