adhesions/anxiety/depression/conception!

[PinkSabra101]

Hi Atomic/anyone else who can weigh in and/or anyone else this might help. I lost a pregnancy at just 9 weeks (incredibly upsetting not least of all because of non-gender related ambivalent reaction to this pregnancy after this was much, much wanted; had been an incredibly stressful time in our family and it got caught up with that. Now I just wish I could have it back and show it the love it deserved if only for those few short weeks). I had what is called in the UK a manual vacuum aspiration. That was 6 weeks ago, and my period hasn't returned. I bled a tiny bit (literally a spot or two) two weeks ago, with cramping (one month post surgery) and again this past weekend, with cramping again (6 weeks post). Pregnancy tests are negative (tho we haven't been preventing) save a tiny shadow on a very sensitive test--you have to really look for it. I'm terrified the surgery has scarred me and googled myself senseless over adhesions/risk to future fertility, am worried that it just won't happen for me again though this baby as well as my older two were conceived 1/2nd go. I can't help but thinking that's my quota of luck met. I'll be 38 in 2 months so am not feeling like I can give it all six months and just see what happens. I wasn't worried about my age before but I can also see how quickly a few years can just go and I would then not be a good candidate for fertility treatment if needed, as I understand. The stats on conception do scare me although I know they are based on outdated figures. I know the stress and depression can't be helping at all. I really do not care about gender at all at this point and am just eager to conceive as soon as possible. Any advice/anyone been in a similar situation? Anything I can do to balance out hormones? I am doing acupuncture, not sure if it's helping but it does feel good.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh no I'm so sorry for your loss.

I regularly - at least a few times a month for the past 10 years - get questions from people who have had a procedure like this and are now terrified they have adhesions. NONE of them ever had adhesions, Ashermans, etc. Nor was this a problem I ever saw during my 2-3 years on Ingender, either. My point is, it's a common worry but at least for those of us in our little circle, not a common problem. I know some of the stats you can Google sound terrifying but I truly believe those numbers are skewed due to the people who were studied having fertility problems and thus not being a random sample. I've seen too many studies that claim these things were accounted for but when you read more about them, it's apparent that they did NOT adequately account for that.

It is absolutely NORMAL to not have your cycle back 6 weeks after a 9 week loss. Even without the procedure, that is quite normal. Your body was pregnant for 2 months, and it doesn't feel "safe" possibly getting pregnant again just yet.

Can you tell me more about what you're eating, if you're taking any supplements - even something that feels totally harmless like herb tea or eating a lot of certain so called "fertility foods", your BMI, and how much you're exercising, if you are? What we need to do is convince your body it's safe to begin your cycle. It has nothing to do with "balancing hormones", your hormones aren't wrong or bad, your body is just trying to protect you from a pregnancy it doesn't feel ready for just yet.

[PinkSabra101]

Thanks so much for replying. I think I would be less worried if period hadn’t come back at all but it’s sort of there but not there if makes sense? Cramps but very, very little blood-not even enough to need a liner. Does that sound within the range or normal? That’s what made me worry about Ashermans despite Dr’s assurance that it’s unlikely as there was no “scraping” :(
I was very lightly swaying girl (taking that off the table now), eating a vegan diet, and now exercising 30 m a day most days. The vegan diet started before the sway, I think you had said in my plan that vegan/pco isn’t a great mix but I just can’t add milk/eggs...I avoid sugar and white carbs for the most part. I I also take myo inositol for polycystic ovaries. Before this—after my son was born in 2016–my cycles were very regular (32 days) though I’ve had years of irregular cycles before. Happy to take any food/lifestyle recommendations for a quick and healthy conception? �� oh, and I’ve added iron and multivitamins since the op. I’m 5 foot even and 115 pounds, BMI 22 I believe.

[atomic sagebrush]

You're six weeks after a nine week loss. You are going to have an oddball cycle this time through, maybe even for 2-3 months after. This is normal and in fact it would be weirder if you DIDN"T have this. Your body didn't have time to recover from the loss and have a normal hormonal response to build up a lining. That's it. Totally to be expected.

Do you have an estimate on how many grams protein and fat (not counting protein and fat in fruit and veg) you're eating?

[PinkSabra101]

Funny, it literally returned properly this morning. That's one relief. I have no idea re grams, but I would guess on the lower end. It also hasn't helped that I've felt quiet down/off food...I feel the cycle helps me draw a line under it all a bit more and start again, tho obviously no idea when next cycle will be. We are eager to try right away. Should we basically go back to what we were doing--loose version of vegan PCOS LE diet (less to sway and more b/c that's more or less my lifestyle anyway) or is there anything you'd add in...or specifically not do that diet at this point?
Thank you; you responded more thoughtfully--and faster--than my GP.

[atomic sagebrush]

You would not believe the number of times I have people come to me worried about a missing period and then it shows up within a couple of days. I wonder if we we may have some part of our cycle where it's just natural for us to get anxious about some stuff and then right after that AF is about to come!

Given that your BMI is normal, if you feel that the vegan PCOS-type LE is working for you that's ok to continue as long as you're being careful not to do the super high carb that some people fall into. I would prefer to see you eating FOR SURE 50-60 g protein and fat, not below that intake, if at all possible. (not counting protein and fat in fruit and veg).

I would personally have you wean back off the multivitamin and reduce iron to 3x a week. You have replenished your resources by now and for the sake of your sway it might be time to cut back on that.

I'm happy to help however I can!

[PinkSabra101]

Hi again! I tested for pregnancy with a very sensitive (10 ml/u) test to ensure a "blank slate" before trying again. It came up with a very faint positive (not a squinter, but faint), which I know for sure is not a new one having recently had a scan/knowing I've not ovulated yet. I'm now worried that my hormones are completely out of whack and feel like I can't afford to just let everything settle as I might've been able to do even 2 years ago--though I don't know what my choices are. Do you know if a very faint positive 8 weeks after a loss is normal and if it would interfere with ttc? I was feeling so relaxed a few months ago, very "let's not try too hard, just see what happens and it'll get there" to overnight desperation and anxiety about it all. Also doesn't help that my parents made comments about my "advanced age" (will be 38 next month) and while somehow a few months ago I saw this as no big deal, it suddenly seems huge, and the online stats are freaking me out even more (though I know many individuals on this website have been successful even later than that). Basically...one huge freakout, which I know can only backfire when ttc. I guess my questions are...is a very faint positive (def. not new) normal? Would it get in the way? I've been scanned and no retained products so can only imagine hormones must be out of whack...and....anything I can do to not bug out about my age, etc? I wish I could regain that relaxed attitude; instead, I'm a mess of googling and taking every supplement out there ( multivitamin, myo-inositol, ubiquitol, evening primrose, iron). Please tell me I've not missed the boat at 38...I worry that if this takes a few months to sort out, then the boat really will be missed, and right now that feels unbearable. Big thank you.

[atomic sagebrush]

Before you get too worried about the squinter, do be aware we have had a rash of false positive pregnancy tests the last year - very faint, but definitely there, and then the people were not pregnant. So I would suggest going to the doctor for a blood test to ensure that your HCG is 0-5 (which is what your HCG would be when not pregnant). The tests may not be as reliable as we would like.

A faint positive 8 weeks after a loss is absolutely NOT normal and would interfere because the HCG levels would inhibit ovulation. But they would have SEEN that on the scans. I am highly suspicious this positive is not legitimate and may be simply whatever is going on with this rash of false positive pregnancy tests.

Another possibility I'll toss out there is that it is sometimes the case that ovulation "sneaks" past a doctor. They do not see the corpus luteum on the scan and think you haven't ovulated when you actually did

MANY MANY MANY of those so-called "fertility supplements" are actually worse than nothing and some of them are not right for everyone, and may cut odds of conception for as many people as they help. Please give me a complete rundown of what you're taking and at what dose.

The evening primrose oil, for starters, you need to wean off that immediately. that has been enormously disruptive to people's cycles and we no longer use it at all because it was delaying ovulation for so many people.

Worrying about your age is not going to accomplish anything. That is out of your control. We need to focus on what IS in our control instead of panicking about things that are not able to be changed. The odds are VERY good you are totally fertile and we just need to get some things worked out and you'll conceive quickly and easily. :heart:

[atomic sagebrush]

And what prenatal

[PinkSabra101]

Thanks for this, and reply in other section. I’m
Taking a general multivitamin, the EPO, ubiquitol (200 I think), and iron (spatone). Would you stop the whole lot? I’m not fussed re gender anymore, looking for quick conception.

[PinkSabra101]

Oh and folate and myo inositol (have been on that for years and it sorted my cycle-went from totally erratic to perfect 32 days...til now...)

[atomic sagebrush]

I need the brand of the multi. Some of them are terrible (honestly should be taken off the market) and I want to rule out that anything in them is contributing to this.

Wean off the EPO immediately by spacing doses further and further out till down to one per week, then drop them. This very possibly IS messing with hormones.

Fine to continue ubiquinol at that dose.

You can continue the Spatone but at some point you may want to reduce to 3x a week maintenance dose.

As long as you've been on the myoinositol a long time it's probably fine. Some people start that thinking it will help their sway so I assumed it was a new addition.

[PinkSabra101]

They’re wellwoman gummies. I had literally just started the epo so will leave it...

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh good glad to hear you weren't on it long, no need to wean off then.

The Wellwomans actually DO have some EPO already in them, not a huge dose but combined with the starflower oil that's also in there, could possibly be enough to mess up a cycle. I would consider going to 3x a week on them to see if it helps at all.

[PinkSabra101]

Ah ok, thanks...I forgot to mention I also take omega 3 (vegan version). Are those ok to keep? I promised myself I wouldn't be obsessive and unfortunately I've become nothing but....should also mention I've had about 4 days of positive opk's. Is this normal? I've never used OPK's before...

Huge thanks as always!

[atomic sagebrush]

What is the dose or brand of the Omega 3?

So since youve never used them before, please explain to me what you mean by "positive OPK". Many people get this wrong so I want to be sure you are actually getting positive OPK. If you are, just rest assured that several days of OPK are not at all unusual and don't mean anything is awry.

[PinkSabra101]

It's 1000 mg of vegan algal oil, 400 mg docosahexaenoic acid (dha) by OMVITS.

Re OPK I had a darkening line about 6 days ago, which stayed dark (tho less than control) for a few days in various shades, and and then about 3 days of lines as dark as the control. Today the line is a shade lighter than the control but not "nearly gone" as I thought happened if Ovulation occurs...I tested today with a clearblue digital and got a low fertile day sign so not sure if that means surge is over, never happened, or hasn't happened yet. Basically, I'm confused; probably the best thing would be to ditch the strips entirely...?

[atomic sagebrush]

That is much more than I would ever recommend. I would have you drop to 500 mg or every other day. Too much Omega 3 (not to mention that coupled with the EPO) acts as a very powerful blood thinner and may actually harm your chances of getting and staying pregnant. This is not about swaying but is about preventing bleeding in an upcoming pregnancy (and in some cases, even your own health as some of us are more susceptible to bleeding issues than others are.)

All the tests where the line was not as dark as control are negative. And the test lines DO NOT necessarily go to "nearly gone". All the tests measure is hormone in your urine and not whether or not ovulation has occurred. The hormone is a signal to your body to ovulate, but your body does that on its own timeline following the surge. Sometimes you have a test that goes negative before you ever ovulate, sometimes you have a test that stays positive after ovulation, if it takes a little longer for your body to clear the hormone.

The chances are that you ovulated 24-48 hours after the first positive OPK, though sometimes it takes a little longer. It is also possible to have a surge and then your body decides "nah not just yet" and then you'll surge and ovulate in a few days, a week, or even longer afterwards.

The tests do have their limitations but understanding how they work really will help you use them in a way that relieves stress, not adds it. Or we can ditch them and just go to e4d.

[PinkSabra101]

Wow, thx for amazingly quick response...this has been so useful; I would like to renew my coaching—is it possible to do that without going back into my old threads? I can’t bear to read things I wrote when I was pregnant with the baby I lost.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, absolutely, just go here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/payments.php and select the "renew coaching forum". Then when you've done that, in that private forum (which is the same place as your other thread was, so don't open and read that!) you can start a new thread if you want a private spot to post or we can just continue on here. Thank you for considering it!

[PinkSabra101]

Just done. Thank you.