TTC after MC

[Girlplze]

Hi ladies,
I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks gestation 6 weeks ago (July 7) and got what I think must have been my AF 4 weeks later on Aug 1st. At that point a pregnancy test was negative. I just had an ultrasound yesterday and the doctor said everything looked good but my lining seemed thick. I have been spotting off and on for the entire 6 weeks and I have been taking ovulation strips every day for a while and confused by them! Has anyone been in a similar situation and how disld it turn out? I just want to ttc again :/ We have been BD every 4 days since my period ended and I am going to keep that up!https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210820/8cba87d6310b34d29a20ce3ed2849a26.jpg


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[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Truthfully, with an 11 week loss, ovulating and getting your period a month later as if nothing had happened is somewhat unusual so I suspect that was not a true period but breakthrough bleeding. Anything is possible, but ovulating 2 weeks after a late first trimester loss is not that common. So I am concerned that what you thought was a period wasn't, and that means we are in sort of limbo regarding knowing where you are in the cycle and what is really going on.

How thick is thick? If it wasn't a true period, that might explain why the lining had built up some - you have had nothing but estrogen which can make the lining grow too thick. Did they have a plan of action that they suggested? Have you ever had this finding in the past?

The apps that have "high" readings on plain strips are junk. They do not work, the darkness of your test really doesn't mean anything at all, and they are NOT the same as a Clearblue test that gives you high/peak readings. Clearblues are measuring changes in hormone levels, and these strips are just telling you the absence or presence of one hormone. And the concentration matters based on your URINE, that percentage they have added there is totally made up BS. The darkness of the OPK does not matter really because your body uses that hormone for other things too, and saying "high" based on darkness is unscientific nonsense (obviously because you could not be high in fertility that entire time!) I truly think these apps should be taken off the market!

You had one peak reading on the 19th. So I would say that if that was a true peak and not a false positive, you did indeed ovulate then and could be pregnant.

[Girlplze]

Thank you so so much for your response. My tests continue to read high or peak the last couple days so I’m just going to stop testing and wait for my period[emoji2957] We have been having attempts every 4 days for 3 weeks now so hopefully that works out when my body is back in business! I haven’t told my dh about the 4 day plan- it has just been happening organically so I am happy with the fact that there is no ttc stress right now :)
If I don’t get my period within the next two weeks I will contact the doctor for further testing.


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[atomic sagebrush]

:agree: yes that would be my suggestion, forget the OPK, just do e4d and then if an egg shows up you'll always be in the position to catch it. See what happens and keep me posted!

Hopefully it won't come down to you having to take medication to slough that lining.
But if it does, just for future reference because doctors are not always great at mentioning this (and will sometimes even tell you the wrong info!!) you need to wait 14 days after the last day you have unprotected sex, with NO unprotected sex in that two weeks' time, and have a negative pregnancy test on THAT day, if they want you to take some medication to bring about bleeding to slough your uterine lining. A negative pregnancy test is not enough because if you've been having unprotected sex you could be pregnant and itnot registering on a test yet. A negative pregnancy test from a week earlier is also not good enough because you might have been pregnant and not far enough along. What can happen, and indeed, has sadly happened to a shocking number of people, is that they've been having unprotected sex, their doctor then gives them medication to bring on a bleed and slough their lining - but they had conceived. Then they have caused themselves a miscarriage because the medication causes the lining to come off. Before taking that medication to bring on a flow, you need to have 14 days with no unprotected sex and a negative pregnancy test the day you are due to start the medication. Not a negative test 10 days ago, 7 days ago, 5 days ago, the day you are meant to start the medication (or 14 days past the last unprotected sex).

[Girlplze]

Noted! Thank you[emoji1317]


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[Girlplze]

Hi,
Currently on my period which would be in line with ovulation on Aug 19th but I’m pretty sure I didn’t actually ovulate. Seems more like breakthrough bleeding again because it’s extremely scant. I am very crampy however??
I looked up GD therapy threads on here and your opinion was that therapists weren’t very helpful in this case. And I already tend to agree that that would probably be the case (unless I magically found one who had GD themselves!) So aside from therapy any ideas on how I can learn to cope with this potentially never happening for me? I have come so close to my dream 3x this past year and a half and I’m cracking. Just bottling it all in because I don’t want to put this stress on my husband and every last one of my friends has both genders so that’s not helpful. I just desperately need to find a way to move on and be grateful for what I have but it feels like an impossible task. Thanks


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[atomic sagebrush]

It's totally possible to have cramps with breakthrough bleeding. In many cases, BB seems pretty much identical to a period - people even sometimes have PMS-type symptoms beforehand (because that is down to hormones and a drop in estrogen is a drop in estrogen!)

Let's have you eat a couple spicy, garlicy meals and take a hot bath and see if we can't get things moving. Go for a long walk, have sex with female O. If not a lot happens that's ok too, but maybe we can get some flow going to wash out that old lining some.

Yep that's still the case - not only were therapists not helpful, in a surprising number of cases they actually seemed to exacerbate the GD feelings by being judgemental and pretending that GD was caused by childhood trauma instead of a culture telling us constantly that we will never be complete without a child of a certain gender coupled with a totally natural and understandable desire (I mean seriously, OF COURSE some women want daughters!! We aren't freaks or monsters for that, it's natural for some people)

But here's the thing - in many cases, in life, we don't get the things we want and need through no fault of our own and we are left to cope with that. Children need their parents, but our parents are abusive/absent/have passed away, etc. People want and need loving partners, but not everyone gets that. We want success in our jobs and many times that is denied. Some people want children/more children and do not achieve that. Or good health. Or financial security. And so on. Over time we come to accept that our dreams didn't come true, and realize that we have a lot of other things in our lives that are awesome and that we wouldn't have it any other way. It's not always a painless process but it is something that we all experience many times over the course of our lives.

The problem with GD is that when you're in it, you're in it. When that possibility is still on the table, it consumes our every waking thought (imagine if your lifelong dream was an Olympic gold medal, and you were actually IN TRAINING for the Olympics! Of course you would think about it constantly!! In fact it would be weird if you didn't!) So the way you're feeling now will not last forever even if you don't get a daughter; once you leave the baby days behind it will wane. Eventually, the seasons of your life change and you will move on and discover all the amazing things that are waiting for you beyond this GD Hell.

When I was starting this journey, I was doing so alongside a lot of women who decided to move on without trying again. In the meantime, I had my 4th son and my daughter, and these women went about their lives, their career, their family, their marriage, etc. And you know what - the truth is, while I did end up getting a daughter, it did not come without a high price to be paid - in terms of money, time, and me being spread so thin that I couldn't always - or even USUALLY - enjoy having her in the ways that I wanted, because I'm perpetually broke, busy, and tired. And additionally, I had other dreams that will go unrealized because I had her. These women who moved on with their families as they were are doing things like going on vacations and doing fun activities with their kids, posting pictures of margaritas on beaches and swim meets and bragging about their work accomplishments and stuff. Obviously I would never trade her, but the truth is, getting her did not solve all my problems in life nor was it my every dream coming true.

Of course we all hope you do get your girl, but if you don't it's not the end of the world (even if it feels like it at the time) and it does get better in time. As with any dream that doesn't come true, it may even start to make sense to you someday. Approaching having a daughter as something you wanted, needed, deserved, and yet didn't get, mourning that dream and then moving on is much healthier an approach than treating gender disappointment as some sort of a "secret shame" based in an unhappy childhood and if only we were better/better adjusted people we wouldn't have this experience. Wanting our family to look like what we hoped and dreamed is not a character flaw, but it IS something that we may not get to experience and it is possible to come to a place of peace even when your dreams do not come true. :heart:

[Girlplze]

Thanks so much for your response! Great news- my AF really started up last night…took quite a few days to get going but things are happening and that makes me feel like I may be back on track. I will keep up with the e4d.

Your analogy about training for the Olympics was so spot on. I felt instantly better after reading that. Thank you[emoji3590]


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[atomic sagebrush]

Perfect!!! Isn't it funny how sometimes we can be so thrilled to see AF! o.O

Keep me posted on how you're getting along!

[Girlplze]

Hi Atomic,
I’ve been taking LH strips to see if I’m ovulating again yet and attempting e4d. I had a light peak last week but I wasn’t convinced it was the real deal and figured it was so late in my cycle that I wasn’t going to ovulate this month. So I decided I would stop tracking and just keep trying e4d. But then yesterday I had a crazy amount of cm and we hadn’t had any action in 6 days so I thought I should take a LH test just to make sure. Well it was blazing like I haven’t seen before! Cd25? So strange for me. Anyhow we had an attempt right after last night and now I have my fingers crossed! I’ve been trying hard to loose weight since my mc and I’m finally making some headway with that. I have also been taking myo insotol for a month now and maybe that’s part of the reason my cycle is so long? Would the egg be of poor quality because it is so late in the cycle? No rush on responding! Thanks :)
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210930/81254e0c450ddf3ae1e919ae851e75bf.jpg


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[atomic sagebrush]

What is a "light peak"?

Well, two different things can happen - one is that you are indeed ovulating now and then it's a great idea to have an attempt. A different thing that can happen is about a week after ovulation, your body releases a big burst of estrogen to sustain the lining a little longer and allow implantation to occur, and this secondary estrogen surge can come with ovulation-like symptoms and a false positive OPK. Either way, you should have absolutely had an attempt.

What is your weight and how much myoinositol are you taking? Do you have any history of PCOS? Myoinositol can lenghten cycles if you take it without needing to. But I'm inclined to think it's because you're not far beyond your loss and things are just still a bit weird. WE may want to have you wean off or back on that till your hormones are back to normal again, because myo may be having more of an effect since you're fairly recent after a loss.

The egg will not be of poor quality. That notion has been debunked; it was based on the idea that women with severe PCOS had both longer cycles and more losses, but it was a coincidence. The longer cycles were not causing the loss, it was the REASON for the longer cycles. Severe PCOS causes longer cycles and more losses, and longer cycles do NOT make for poor eggs. The idea honestly doesn't even make any sense, because all our eggs are sitting there waiting to be ovulated and don't start developing till it's time for them to be ovulated. The human body knows what it is doing far more than doctors once gave it credit for. WE regularly have people conceiving with cycles where ovulation is even up to CD 35 and they have no worse pregnancy outcomes than others do.

[Girlplze]

Thanks for your insight. Interesting… and you know what it’s actually not that light now that I revisit it. The first peak was CD 19 and this one was CD 25. I am not at home and can’t remember how much insotol I’m taking but I will stop and just stick with the C0Q10. I am 137 lbs and 5’7. I was 142 a month ago and my normal weight is typically around 135. More so than the numbers I know I have lost weight because my pants didn’t fit at all and now they do!
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210930/f4771e57e9181f9d8530a3bae5af9648.jpg


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[Girlplze]

The last photo I attached was cd19.


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[Girlplze]

My cycle used to be 27 days and extremely regular. Cd13 ish ovulation.


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[atomic sagebrush]

Yeah at that weight you are too slim for myoinositol, unless you have severe PCOS. It may be reducing hormones that you need to help you ovulate.

Keep me posted as there's no real way to know which option occurred until your period shows up (or hopefully a BFP!)

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi Atomic,
I’ve been taking LH strips to see if I’m ovulating again yet and attempting e4d. I had a light peak last week but I wasn’t convinced it was the real deal and figured it was so late in my cycle that I wasn’t going to ovulate this month. So I decided I would stop tracking and just keep trying e4d. But then yesterday I had a crazy amount of cm and we hadn’t had any action in 6 days so I thought I should take a LH test just to make sure. Well it was blazing like I haven’t seen before! Cd25? So strange for me. Anyhow we had an attempt right after last night and now I have my fingers crossed! I’ve been trying hard to loose weight since my mc and I’m finally making some headway with that. I have also been taking myo insotol for a month now and maybe that’s part of the reason my cycle is so long? Would the egg be of poor quality because it is so late in the cycle? No rush on responding! Thanks :)
https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/20210930/81254e0c450ddf3ae1e919ae851e75bf.jpg


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Yes no real way to tell which of these is real or not. This is definitely darker than the previous one, but that may only mean the batch of urine you tested with on CD 19 was more dilute. Keep me posted!

[Girlplze]

Got my peaks the evening of CD 25 and morning of CD26. Negative test today on CD38. Feeling really defeated. Why is it taking my AF so long to
come if I’m not pregnant? So cruel :(


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[atomic sagebrush]

Because when you ovulate late, your period will come late. I know it sucks hugely to end up having these long cycles when TTC. I do want to mention that a positive OPK does not mean ovulation happened then, so if your period doesn't arrive in a few days, you ovulated even later than that.

[Girlplze]

Sigh. Well I’m really thankful for the e4d method[emoji1317] Nice to know I can still sway with such a messed up cycle and I am not missing opportunities!


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[Girlplze]

Got my AF today. Relieved to start fresh but also very upset[emoji22]


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[atomic sagebrush]

So when did AF arrive in relation to the OPK??

[Girlplze]

I got a strong peak Sept 28th evening and 29th morning. AF arrived Oct 13th. Seems about right? No clue what to expect next month though…


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[atomic sagebrush]

Yep that's spot on, great!

We never do know what to expect next month. Hopefully things will carry on in a very predictable way, though. FXFXFX!

[Girlplze]

I was so hopeful that after my 40 day cycle last month I was getting back to normal. Well this past month I had no signs of CM and no positive opks. Then my AF arrived on CD19[emoji17] I had some blood work done on day 3 of this weird cycle and my estradiol seems very high- 664 pmol/L. LH- 1.7 IU/L. I am just so sad this week :(


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[atomic sagebrush]

Oh bummer, I'm so sorry to hear that. I suspect this isn't a true AF, your estrogen probably dropped and triggered a bleed without ovulation. The good news is, your

Did the doctor say your estradiol was high? Because while I'm not an expert I think that may just be the unit of measure they were using: https://healthmatters.io/understand-blood-test-results/estradiol and https://www.ucsfhealth.org/medical-tests/estradiol-blood-test

If it is truly high then you may have had an ovarian cyst last month which might explain the cycle weirdness.

[Girlplze]

Hmmm. Ok well the dr didn’t say it was high so I guess you are right based on that article.

Also your sentence got cut off- “the good news is your…” ?


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[atomic sagebrush]

Oh gosh, sorry, the good news is that the bleed will act as a reset, just the same as a normal period would and so your cycle will start over here, and hopefully will be more typical this next month.

[Girlplze]

I got a BFP this morning on a CB digital!! About 10dpo. Today is cd26.

I had five doses of 2.5 letrozole left so I decided to take that this month because my cycles were so messed up. Took that on CD2-6. We had an attempt on Cd10 and then cd13 at my first peak. We didn’t have another attempt after that until cd17 and that was it for the month. I’ve been working out a lot too. Praying for a sticky baby and I don’t think I could have swayed any better?! [emoji1695][emoji166]


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[atomic sagebrush]

Great news! Good luck and pink dust headed your way!!

Just out of curiosity did you take a pregnancy test before starting the letrozole?

[Girlplze]

I had blood work done last month which showed that I was not pregnant, Took a few of my own and had a very heavy period. I took a Clearblue digital yesterday that said 1-2 weeks pregnant. Nice strong second line in a regular test today :)


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[atomic sagebrush]

Ok. As long as you were tested first. Just so you know (and the reason why I asked) is because having a period does not mean you aren't pregnant, even a heavy period, because bleeding is not always a period. I had a full on heavier than normal 5 day "period" when I had just gotten pregnant with my 4th son that came about because I was pregnant with twins and lost one. Since you're on letrozole it's just important to know you're not pregnant when taking it.

[Girlplze]

NIPT just confirmed I'm expecting a healthy GIRL!!! I will post my sway. Thank you, thank you for everything. I truly don't think I would be here with out all of your advice and the every 4 day method xx

[atomic sagebrush]

OH MY WORD woo hoooooo!!! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer: that's fantastic! So happy for you!!!

[Girlplze]

This feeling is magical💕 I can’t find the spot to post my sway… can you help me out?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes! It's here! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/add-your-girl-sway-/