Vegetarian couple ttc a boy

[Blueswayer1]

Hi atomic just started a new thread.

Since my miscarriage I noticed rarely I have had a slight tinge of colour in my discharge (pinky/browny) I have had a period although that maybe wasn't as heavy as normal. I haven't had the tinged discharge often but it has been there not so much recently. Is this normal?

Also I have an instant pot and was thinking to make some meals in there, for nutrient purposes is it better to avoid this? Not sure if cooking on the pressure cook setting for example kills the nutrients?

[atomic sagebrush]

It can be normal to have that, but given that this was an extrauterine pregnancy we absolutely need to mention that to your doctor in case there's still a wound healing that we would need to be aware of before proceeding with another pregnancy.

The Instant Pot is great!! There's always some nutrients lost in the cooking process but that happens no matter what you're using, and the ability to make beans/legumes more easily is FANTASTIC (that's mainly what I use my IP for - making beans and split peas). Cooking beans well actually can free up some nutrients in them (NEVER eat undercooked beans!! It can kill you depending on what kind of bean it is). Totally endorsed!

[Blueswayer1]

Ok thanks atomic I will speak to my doctor. I am assuming they will only know if i have a wound by doing a scan? They did say when they did the first scan that they could see some bleeding near the sac not sure if it could be related to that. Do you know if menstrual cycles can be affected by early miscarriages? I have just noticed a tiny blob of pinky discharge on my pantyliner, I am only on CD23 and my period doesn't usually start this early if that's what this is the beginning of. I have generally been noticing more discharge than usual aswell the normal coloured one after the miscarriage.

Ok will use the instant pot it is great! Is it ok to have frozen vegetables or are they less nutritious compared to fresh?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes they'd need to do a scan - if it's seeming to wind down on its own you may want to take a wait and see approach but it has been quite a while for that to be continuing.

Once the loss occurred we'd want to see that bleeding resolve very quickly and not hanging on. We'd want to rule out anything left behind so that's why we would want to potentially have it checked.

Yes, your cycle can be affected by a loss, and additionally it can be that you are not really even having a true cycle (with ovulation and a period) and may just have a breakthrough bleed, without ever having ovulated. There's nothing wrong with this, it's quite normal, and it would still reset your cycle over again so it's all good.

Any way you can get vegetables into your diet it's all good.

[Blueswayer1]

Hi atomic, I called the early pregnancy assessment unit and feel they may have fobbed me off a little, she said that intermittent bleeding can be common after a miscarriage and she said that it can take a couple of cycles for things to settle down.. does this sound about right to you? She said I had to speak to the doctor about getting referred for a scan which I will do.

Just to update you the day after I got that pinkish blob of discharge I started my period but not until late afternoon but that was cycle day 24 which is early for me so I am worried.. is this classed as a short cycle? Also yesterday I passed a clot which looked like the kind of clots I passed during my miscarriage.. is this normal after a miscarriage? Like I said this would have been my 2nd period after it. My last 1 felt lighter this 1 apart from the clot felt like the kind of flow I would normally get on my period certainly on the 2nd day of it.

[atomic sagebrush]

No, not in this case because when there's an extrauterine pregnancy they ~should~ have got everything out of there, it's not like a standard miscarriage where they can expect that future periods will "wash away" anything left behind.

But that having been said, since you have started your period I suspect it was more down to that reason and not any leftover tissue so I'd personally wait if I was you.

24 day cycle is somewhat short but not terribly. A couple of strange cycles after a loss are fairly normal but we want to see that resolving now. If they try to tell you 3, 4, or more months after a loss "it's probably the loss" then they are truly fobbing you off and you must be more aggressive.

Clots can always be normal during periods. They can be pretty shocking if you aren't used to them but in most cases, as long as it's at the correct time for your period to come it's fine. Let's keep an eye for anything else unusual, for now I'd be willing to wait and see but if more weirdness comes to pass then we'll need to try to get you in if possible.

[Blueswayer1]

Hi atomic, thanks for your reply. I spoke to the doctor she didn't think I needed a scan as it was very little in between my period. She thought it was normal and it can go on for a around 3 cycles after miscarrying. Thankfully I haven't had any for the last few weeks so hopefully it's stopped. She also thought from info gathered that the pregnancy was where it should have been, who knows!

I also had a swab done as it came out that when they swabbed me around the time I miscarried that it queried further investigation needed to be done to establish if i had bacterial vaginosis.. The hospital didn't follow up on this though I asked about my swab and my doctor then followed up.. thankfully my swab came back clear, is it possible that I could have had it and it cleared itself? Can preseed cause bacterial vaginosis? I don't know for certain if I had it it just said follow up was needed

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh good I'm glad it's going away!

Wow how very strange they've had such a wide array of thoughts regarding where the pregnancy was! Tubal pregnancies can be quite tough for docs to see, but you'd think by this point they'd know more about what was happening. I'm sorry, I wish you had more answers.

It's always possible that you can have BV and it clear itself. But it is far, far, far more likley you never had it. They simply saw some irritation or discharge that just led them to want to be sure you didn't have it, which is them simply giving you proper care. BV for most people is a minor annoyance, so even if you did have it, you'd not experience any serious issues, so please don't worry that this is some ongoing harmful issue.

Any time you put anything in the vagina (even semen) you can get BV - or more accurately, aggravate it, because if you don't have that certain strain of bacteria in your vagina, you can't get BV no matter what you put in there. If you do have that bacteria, you can get it even if you have put nothing in your VJ!

Some people who have chronic BV have reported that Preseed seemed to cause flares (but having lots of sex when TTC can also cause flares). Others have reported that Preseed seemed to CURE their BV (probably because their old lube was aggravating it, or else that sex with inadequate lube caused irritation that then encouraged an infection. Long story short, yes, any lube can aggravate BV, but you didn't even have BV to start with, and Preseed is used by thousands of women and doesn't give them BV.

A few people anecdotally reported that they preferred Baby Dance lube but I haven't seen anyone successfully use that for blue. It's probably blue friendly, just that I haven't seen it firsthand.

[Blueswayer1]

Yeah it's all very strange!

I came on my period yesterday atomic, the day before I did have some reddish discharge just the once and thought it was my period but it didn't start properly until yesterday. This happened on my last period to. Is this normal?

I was worried if I had BV it may have caused my miscarriage is that at all possible? I know its likely I didn't have it was just wandering?

For each meal atomic how many grams of protein should i be aiming for?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, it's normal to have a day of red/brown/pink discharge before your period.

While a couple studies claimed to find a slight link between BV and miscarriage it was never proven. In terms of causes of miscarriages, BV is WAYYYY down the line. It is very unlikely that BV caused your loss.

[Blueswayer1]

Ok thanks atomic. Is there a certain amount of grams of protein we should have for each meal?

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok thanks atomic. Is there a certain amount of grams of protein we should have for each meal?

Your body can only absorb about 30 g protein max with any given meal. you don't need any more than that. So anything from 5-30 g (so, 5 g with a snack, 10-30 with a meal, that sort of thing) is great. If you eat more than 30, nothing bad happens, it's just you won't digest all of it.

[Blueswayer1]

Thanks for your reply Atomic. It can be difficult getting 30g in a meal for us being vegetarian, I'd say its more in the 20's, then if feel I haven't done that good for a meal sometimes have a protein shake

[atomic sagebrush]

As long as you're eating more than you were, that's the important thing. I have to set these numbers somewhere because otherwise people go overboard eating way more than they need, or not enough, but the key is just to eat more than you were recently and if possible more than when you got your girl(s).

What kind of protein shake?

[Blueswayer1]

Ok thanks atomic. I'm having whey protein the unflavoured one, I put banana in there and blend it with milk. Is that ok?
Has your advice on timing changed since my miscarriage or is it the same? I know you don't believe in timing.. but I know you said to at least get 3 attempts, so we were going to try on the evening of positive OPK, the following morning and then the same day in the evening. I am possibly due to ovulate this weekend, I am feeling nervous about trying again especially after my miscarriage :sad:

Also if you feel ovulation pain on a certain side can that indicate what gender child people have? I'm not going to look at the Chinese gender calender as I remember you saying it was a load of nonsense!

[atomic sagebrush]

yes, whey protein is fine. I don't like soy protein or ones with a lot of added herbs.

Yes, my advice is just the same. I don't completely upend my recommendations within any period of only a couple of months. You're planning exactly what I recommend.

It's not a belief on my part, it's that timing has been as debunked as it is possible for something in science to BE debunked. I understand you're just using a figure of speech there, but I'm clarifying this because I know there are people on Facebook who make claims that I just make stuff up or whatever. Timing doesn't work, it's an uncontested thing by the experts at this point. We know Dr. Shettles was wrong, we know he looked through a microscope and thought he saw X and Y sperm when he didn't, we know that X and Y sperm live the same amount of time and swim the same speed, and when scientists used Dr. Shettles' own data coupled with modern understanding of when ovulation happens, they showed 50-50 girls and boys conceived every cycle day. If Dr Shettles had lived into the 21st century he would agree fully that timing didn't work - he just didn't have the technology. Just want everyone to understand this is not something I believe in or not believe in like ghosts, LOL, it's the only conclusion that can be drawn since Dr. Shettles was 100% mistaken in what he thought he saw in that microscope. :)

No, ovulation pain doesn't predict gender. It doesn't even predict what side you ovulate from. This is because you develop eggs on both sides every month - 15-30 of them - and only 1-2 are ovulated. This means that both your ovaries get very big and swollen and tender, and the side you don't ovulate from can have just as much pain, if not even more so, as ovulation can sometimes relieve pain from the one ovary while the other stays swollen for a day or two. There have been SO many people who swore they'd ovulated from one side only to be shocked when the corpus luteum was on the other side! It's just not something you can feel, even if side of ovulation determined gender, which it doesn't.

[Blueswayer1]

Thanks atomic, I am unsure about using preseed.. are there any harmful ingredients in there do you know? I don't think I make lots of EWCM but do have some. Unsure and meant to be trying attempting soon!

What are the reasons preseed is recommended for blue?

[atomic sagebrush]

If there were harmful ingredients in it, I'd not recommend it.

The reason it's recommended is simply to make up for any lacking EWCM. If you have some EWCM, you may want to just roll with that. It's your call to make. Personally I have four boys and have never used it, so I know for sure you can get a boy without it.

[Blueswayer1]

Yeah I googled as you do which I know isn't a good idea and some people were questioning if it led to miscarriages, guess because of my miscarriage felt bit scared!

Ah ok, did you make lots of EWCM naturally when you got your boys? Were you really young when you got your boys?

[atomic sagebrush]

The "theory" (using the term loosely) is that "because Preseed is good for sperm, maybe it's letting bad sperm get to the egg" but that doesn't make any sense, since naturally occurring EWCM is even better for sperm than Preseed is. Preseed is not letting any sperm in that would not otherwise get in. And it can't affect the DNA of sperm or of the egg. They study all these jellies rigorously and if they were harmful they would not be being used in fertility clinics, recommended by doctors, etc.

It is normal for people to look for things that are easy to change, to blame after a loss. We do this because we so very much wish for something that is EASY to change, that we can fool ourselves into thinking somehow magically prevents miscarriages, but in most cases, are nothing more than a red herring for people. Since most miscarriages do not recur, whether you change anything or not

I got my sons when I was 21, 25, 37, and 39. Both when I was young and when I was old. I don't notice massive quantities of EWCM, though some months I have it for a long time, it's never the "birthing a jellyfish" that some women report. I wouldn't have even known what it was with my first two. My third boy, I didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. With my 4th boy I didn't notice any, despite checking my pH several times a day, and didn't even realize I had ovulated with him, so I did not have very much with him at all.

[Blueswayer1]

Ok thanks atomic for all the info and sharing your personal experience.

So I am going to send you a screenshot of my chart so far below. I started the temps CD8

I didnt test on CD12 as I didn't get to sleep til late and thought its better I get the extra sleep. On CD13 I got a peak on the clearblue in the morning but my wondfo was low and very faint, I tested a few hours later just after 11am and it was equally dark so a positive.

On CD14 because we had to get up earlier for our attempt because it was a school day I tested my basal temperature 25 minutes before I normally would have. Also I didnt get a solid block of sleep as did wake a couple of times in the night.

We tried evening of CD13, the following morning and the evening on CD14 (so twice on what I thought would be ovulation day).

My chart is showing I ovulated on CD13 which I wasn't expecting.. do you think its possible I got an inaccurate higher temp on CD14 given I tested 25 mins earlier that day and also woke a couple of times in the night? I wouldn't have thought i would have ovulated CD13 given I only got my positive that day?

43415

[atomic sagebrush]

If you got your peak on CD 13 you most likely ovulated anywhere from 8-48 hours after that, so it is possible you Oed CD 13. But the average is 24-36 hours after first peak.

Temping is just not that accurate. It is always possible to have a day that is "off" from what it should be (even if you didn't temp at a different time). This is why we wait for 3 days of elevated temps to confirm ovulation - because one day or even two just doesn't prove anything since temps can be wonky any given day. With temping you're looking for patterns across many days and not just one or even two days' temps.

[Blueswayer1]

Ah so it's possible I could have missed my chance entirely this month if it can be 8-48 hours after positive OPK? 😞 or may have not got the 3 attempts in?

From past cycles i tend to have the rise in temp the day after the positive OPK so I was hoping this would have been the case

[atomic sagebrush]

That is always possible. But the odds are you had good timing.

Just keep in mind that you can have your hormones indicating ovulation and then it just doesn't show up on your temps for some reason. It doesn't mean you didn't ovulate when you are hoping you did, just means that your temps might have been different for some reason - your room was colder than normal, you slept all cuddled up so your temps were higher, that sort of thing.

[Blueswayer1]

Ok thanks for clarifying atomic. Hope your well

[Blueswayer1]

Hi atomic, I have come on my period today.. I feel pretty upset as it felt my body played tricks on me.. I had tingling in my breasts (like milk let down feeling when breastfeeding) which I have never had before apart from when I last fell pregnant and miscarried. I also had a shooting sensation down below, again something I had last time I was pregnant and miscarried. I had my hopes up and have come crashing down this morning. Part of me is wandering what if I caught and it didn't happen again? :sad:

[atomic sagebrush]

In most cases you won't have noticeable symptoms like that till after you miss a period. But it is possible to have a chemical pregnancy. This would be entirely different than the loss you had the last time, where the pregnancy implanted in the wrong place and could not grow there. Chemicals are very very common and having one doesn't mean you can't get pregnant in the future - it's that so many things have to go exactly right, sometimes they don't quite go according to plan. But you can still get pregnant successfully in the future.

[Blueswayer1]

Ok thanks atomic. What exactly is a chemical?

A couple of weeks ago my husband was poorly and had a temperature.. Does a temperature reduce sperm count and therefore not good for a boy sway?

[atomic sagebrush]

A chemical is where something has gone wrong during the very earliest stages of development (either something off with the egg, the sperm, or the way they joined together and grew right from the start) so the egg comes to rest against the uterine wall and your body senses something is not right with it, and your period comes when it should and ends it before it can even begin. You will get a positive pregnancy test, but typically only for a day or two, and generally speaking you would not have had any symptoms unless the pregnancy was succeeding. Anything is possible but it's far more likely that your symptoms were from the normal progesterone rise in the 2WW and not a pregnancy.

Overall yes, we try to avoid men having fevers when TTC but sometimes it's unavoidable. I hope he's feeling better now!

[Blueswayer1]

Ok thanks for clarifying atomic.

Oh no, how long after a fever does it take for the sperm count to return to normal? He has been releasing every 4 days as normal to try and get rid of old sperm, is this something he should avoid now because he had the temperature and his sperm count could be reduced?

Do you normally advise people to stop trying in this situation until the sperm count is expected to get higher again?

Do you know why a lower sperm count due to fever isn't good for a boy sway? Sorry just trying to understand given 1 sperm is needed for fertilisation?

Do you know of people in this position and whose sway worked? He had the temperature over 2 days about 2 weeks ago hes better now thanks.. his temperature was between 37 and 38 but on one ocassion got to 39.. he was taking paracetamol to try bring it down.

I am expecting to ovulate this weekend and have no idea what to do now. I am concerned about this effecting our sway and also concerned that time is running out due to my age. Any vitamins he can take to help increase the sperm count?

[atomic sagebrush]

No, he needs to continue to release every 2-4 days because that encourages his body to make more sperm and keeps it healthier. Regular release encourages sperm production.

People's results vary based on lots of things. Some men can just shake off things that harm sperm and other guys are very seriously affected. I can't give a blanket recommendation. Some people decide to skip the month. Others don't. We have seen both boys and girls conceived after fevers so while I do think it may sway a bit pink, it's no magic bullet.

1 sperm is not needed for fertilization. It actually takes dozens of sperm to make it through the eggshell, and only the fastest/best one makes it. One alone cannot get the task done (without the help of a scientist injecting sperm into an egg, of course). Plus, it takes the actions of millions upon millions of sperm to ensure that a few dozen actually ever get to the egg. That is why men make hundreds of millions of sperm in one shot - because that many are needed.

Now, as to how/why it sways, the truth is, we do not know. But time and again, in various studies and in our anecdotal experience, men with lower sperm count for a variety of different reasons have more daughters than is statistically expected. So our assumption is, even tho we do not know the reason why, fewer sperm = more girls.

I have already given you guys everything to up sperm count. I don't hold stuff back to be revealed at the last moment, I include the sperm-boosting vitamins that work in the sway right from the start. Nothing he takes now would have been in time to help anyway. Just have him continue releasing regularly and the chances are great that he's fine and did not suffer any ill effects from 2 days of a fever.

[Blueswayer1]

Thanks Atomic for your reply will see how it goes

[Blueswayer1]

Atomic I think I might be pregnant according to my test.. can you send me your blue dust please!

Also can you advise on how exactly I need to go about reducing my supplements please? Think I asked you this before but I have forgotten what you said sorry.
Do I need to start by missing a day taking the next day, missing 2 days taking for the next day, missing 3 days taking for the next stay and so on until I have missed 7 days then stop?

[atomic sagebrush]

While you should give me a brief rundown of all the supplements you're on in case you have started something that is harmful, you should continue the basic blue supplements all through pregnancy. Multivitamin, up to 1000 IU Vitamin D, 250-500 mg fish oil or DHA are all beneficial during pregnancy and fine to continue all through.

Coq10 if you're taking it, just wean off gradually by spacing doses further and further out till down to one per week, then you can drop them.

The higher dose of folic acid, continue through the entire first tri of pregnancy, then wean off just like you did above by spacing doses till you've weaned to the amount in your prenatal. This should take about 3 weeks.

[atomic sagebrush]

I opened this for you now. It's really easy to accidentally lock a thread on yourself so if that happens again just let me know and I can open them.