Just going for it?

[Girlboyohboy]

I’ve been getting ready for this sway for over 2 years now, and keep putting it off for various reasons, but mostly because I can’t lose weight. I’m ready to just go for it. Any reassurance or last minute suggestions for me? 😅

The things that I have been successful at for my sway are skipping breakfast, adding coffee and alcohol (not so hard to do lol) giving up red meat (I’m not sure if this is really a sway tactic, but I could take it or leave it and thought it would be better for less fat). I’ve been dairy free due to my autoimmune stuff for a long time. I also switched to diet soda.

Even with all of these things, I have struggled to lose weight. I don’t want to put off my sway any longer due to my age and also because the more I try to sway the worse it is for me mentally. I haven’t gained weight, but I’ve stayed steady at a BMI of 23 since having my son in March 2019. I had my gallbladder out Oct. 2020, and my doctor said most people will put on 40lbs within a year of that surgery, so I’m thankful I’ve avoided that and take it as a slight success.

We also plan to do one attempt. We’ve been doing q4 days, and I’m pretty sure I ovulate this weekend, so we will stick with this pattern for now. I loosely track my cycles, but haven’t done OPKs because I tend to get obsessed and didn’t want to overthink anything more than I already do. We technically attempted last month (was kind of spur of the moment) and I got a BFN. However my cycle was 31 days instead of the usual 34, so I may have been off on things. The plan is to officially start trying this month, and I just wanted some thoughts on my sorta-sway and any last minute suggestions would be great as well!

[atomic sagebrush]

Hey, as long as you are happy with that decision that's great! You aren't doing anything terribly blue friendly, you haven't gained weight, doing some fasting, and if you're ready to roll then by all means!

I honestly see more sways ruined by people going absolutely berserk and control freaking everything in their lives down to the smallest detail (this is a HUGE factor for sways that produce opposites). So a person who is just calm, cool, collected, has made the changes that feel right for them and is ready to try, I am always in full support as long as they've not been doing things that are uber blue friendly, which it doesn't appear to me like you have. Good luck and pink dust headed your way!

[treens]

Good luck!!! We are trying this month too for a girl I am CD 9 today. What CD are you?

[Blckhrt]

Go for it!! I think staving off weight gain after your gallbladder removal is basically the equivalent of losing weight.
We are TTC girl too. I’m early in cycle #3 and we’re doing E4D too. Good luck!!

[Girlboyohboy]

Thank you all! I’m feeling a huge weight lifted off (no pun intended haha) just to not have to stress about swaying so much anymore and going for it. You all make me feel good about the decision.

treens- I’m on cd 13, but I have longish cycles (usually 34 days) so it gets tricky. I’m pretty sure my LP is around 14 days and I just ovulate later than most people, but since I’m not certain we are sticking with every 4 days instead of trying for the perfect window and missing ovulation.

Good luck to all of you ladies too!

[atomic sagebrush]

Keep me posted and let me know if you need help!

[Girlboyohboy]

Keep me posted and let me know if you need help!

I have a question. So, we BD yesterday morning, and I always have leakage afterwards, but this time it didn't. I asked him if he actually released and he said he did, and I believe him. I got up and J&D about 5 minutes after BD and nothing came back out, and even later in the day nothing. We hadn't BD in 4-5 days, but he may be releasing on his own (I don't ask lol). Could he not have had anything come out?

[atomic sagebrush]

No, something came out (unless you have some reason to believe he's fibbing about this - it happens, rarely). Semen sometimes just doesn't liquefy as it normally does sometimes, it can be smaller amounts of semen (can still have the same number of sperm tho) and also sometimes it's deposited deeper and doesn't come out the same rate or same time as normal.

DO NOT have another attempt, if that's what you're asking.

[Girlboyohboy]

Ok thanks! I just needed some reassurance, and I def don’t want to ruin things by adding another attempt. I do believe he’s being honest because he’s really bad at lying and faking ANYTHING 😂, and also he hasn’t shown any hesitancy with having another baby, so it would just be really weird.

One more question, I read that I should continue with diet and keep blood sugar low during TWW, but should I also keep drinking alcohol? I don’t want to do anything detrimental to the pregnancy if I do end up pregnant. Thanks so much!

[atomic sagebrush]

I leave that at your discretion. While it's unlikely that a fertilized egg could be at all negatively impacted (and many women, myself included, have had a drink during the 2ww not realizing we were pregnant) most people choose to stop drinking at O and I am fine with it either way.

[Girlboyohboy]

Thanks Atomic! I’m planning on another attempt tomorrow (Wednesday). Our last attempt was Saturday. However, my CM seems to have already changed, so I may have already ovulated, and I might already be in the 2ww. I’ll keep you updated!

[atomic sagebrush]

Great! Good luck and pink dust headed your way!

[treens]

Good Luck! It looks like we are right close in the same window! Best of luck and lots of pink dust your way :)) :pinksperm:

[Girlboyohboy]

Good Luck! It looks like we are right close in the same window! Best of luck and lots of pink dust your way :)) :pinksperm:

Thanks ladies!!

Treens, I’m so glad I have you as a 2ww buddy through this! And hopefully a pregnancy buddy depending on how things go :) Your family looks like fun mix of boys and girls. Do your kids have any preferences for your next baby? I think my daughter will be even more upset than I will be if our next isn’t a girl 😂
When are you planning to test?

[treens]

I am excited too! I will try to hold out till April 11th to test. When will you try?

Im pretty sure my older kids will think i am completely nuts for more kids lol My oldest was not excited when i had my last as she is still living at home and thought she would be kicked out. But she is my babies biggest fan now. She was also the same age when i had him as I was when I had her. Some times I feel like I may be a little crazy but I love kids :)) Im sure they would love ether once the get their minds around it.

Have you ever swayed before. Sorry if I missed it I have read so many of people stories.

[Girlboyohboy]

I have a hard time holding out and usually start testing early, so I’m really going to try to hold out until April 9, which would be two weeks from when we had our first attempt.

Hah that is too funny about your older kids. But so fun to have a big family and older kids who love to help. My husband is the oldest of 9 kids and I know they all were close and looked out for each other growing up.

We haven’t swayed before. My husband has always wanted a big family, but I thought we were done after the first two. Our last came as a huge shock. I was so sick, but because I have autoimmune stuff, at first I thought maybe I was just having a flare up. But this was next level fatigue and nausea. I started to think I was dying. I had to go to the closing on our house during this time and I think our realtor thought I was on drugs or something because I looked and felt like such crap. Finally after missing several weeks of work, my husband brought me to urgent care and they were like, well you’re not dying, but you are pregnant :) I was in shock, I guess it hadn’t crossed my mind at all that I could be pregnant haha.

I felt some disappointment when we found out he was a boy. I guess I just thought, well my last was a boy so now it’s time for a girl, but of course things don’t always work like that. He is the sweetest and craziest kid, we love him so much. A new baby sure does bring so much love into the home!

Pink dust to you too!

[Girlboyohboy]

It looks as though AF has arrived, so I’m out this cycle. This is very strange as I wasn’t due until this weekend at the earliest. My cycles have been getting shorter and shorter over the past 3 months. Before that they were consistently 34 days for years. I’m wondering if my LP is shortening, but my progesterone seems ok because my breasts always begin hurting right after O, and this month it has been even more intense, like if anything even brushes against them they hurt. I took a first response pregnancy test last night just to see if it could be causing the extreme breast pain, and it was BFN. We only got two attempts in this entire month (so bad I know, but my husband is working weekdays and I’m working overnights and weekends right now, so it’s been hard). I looked back and we DTD cd 6 and cd 14. It’s just strange that my cycles are all crazy now that I’m TTC. Any thoughts on this?

I think I might skip TTC this next cycle and then try again in May. For weird, personal reasons, DH and I want to avoid a January baby. Maybe this will also give me time to figure out what’s going on with my cycle. And I’m the meantime, something I want to add to my sway is fiber. I can’t believe I hadn’t been doing this, but I also saw it can help absorb fats after gallbladder removal, so maybe this is a missing link. Any recommendations on what brand to try? I’m in the US/Midwest.

[atomic sagebrush]

So do you think you ovulated early or that your LP was short?

Sometimes if you have an unusual hormonal pattern (such as early O) you can experience a different pattern and timeline of symptoms. So it may be that the extreme breast pain had to do with an off month totally.

I will go back and reread your thread to better advise you about what might be happening with your cycle. But we do see (and this happens a lot) people start TTC and all of a sudden their cycle goes absolutely wackadoo. This can be just a one-off, or it can last for months, no way to know. Let me reread and see if anything jumps out at me.

I actually don't like to see people adding fiber when they're having strange cycles. It may be you're not getting ENOUGH fat (and more info about what exactly happened, if this was early O or short LP will be helpful here) and in that case adding fiber would not be desirable. I'd hold off buying anything for now, let's see what is going on here.

I don't generally recommend brands. Anything you can find easily in your area that doesn't have added ingredients (some have vitamins, some have herbs, some have stool softeners which you may not even need) should be fine.

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok, it looks to me like your diet is not too restrictive and your BMI is good, so it's probably not that you've got too restrictive on diet.

It looks to me reading your first post, that you've made some mild dietary changes, one of which was switching to diet soda. I wonder if you have had some underlying PCO-tendencies, and were getting more carbs than what was ideal for you via sugar soda (this of course depends on the amount of soda you typically drink...if it's not a lot, then this theory doesn't really work.). You also dropped red meat recently too, is that correct? Anything else? Have you possibly been eating fewer carbs than you traditionally do?

My best guess for now with the info I have, is that your cycle isn't "crazy". It may be normalizing. We see this fairly often, when people who were eating a lot of carbs, particularly in the form of sugar, and have some PCO-tendencies eat fewer carbs, even just by a small amount, it can end up being beneficial enough to actually make a slightly longer cycle into a 28ish day cycle.

If that is the case then you could safely add fiber in.

[Girlboyohboy]

Thank you so much for helping me with this Atomic! I’m almost certain that I ovulated on cd 13 or 14, which would be early for me, but still wouldn’t line up with AF being here, so it might be a little of both (early ovulation and shorter LP). I wouldn’t say I was drinking a ton of regular soda before I switched, maybe one or two regular sodas a week. Now I drink one diet soda every afternoon (helps me hold off eating until dinner). But overall I would say I’m eating less sugar than before. I’m still eating carbs/bread with every meal 🥴. I skip breakfast but my morning coffee does have sugar in it. However even with these small changes it does make a lot of sense that my cycle could be changing. One thing though is that back when I was eating very blue friendly with a BMI of 19, my cycles were still 34 days… this was before my last son.

If I do add fiber should it be soluble or insoluble? Thanks!!

[treens]

Good luck on your next cycle that you decide! If we don't this cycle i think we may skip the next also or maybe 2. Just becasue we would liek to travel next winter and i don't want to travel too pregnant or with a too little of a baby :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Gotcha.

Yes, 1-2 sodas a week would not have amounted to anything, but if you're eating fewer carbs overall, then maybe!

People with what is called "skinny PCOS" can still see those oddball cycles even when they're quite thin. It has to do with carb intake overall, and you can be eating a fairly low calorie diet that is more carb based (think, skim milk but sugar sweetened yogurt, bagels, pasta, salads with sweet-tasting salad dressing on top, that sort of thing where you're thinking you're dieting, but are still getting a lot of carbs as a % of your day's intake)

It's ok to continue eating carbs at every meal. We don't want you to be on a low carb and certainly not a VERY low carb diet. But what happens to a lot of people is that they eat fewer carbs than they were when not on LE Diet without realizing it! I have a big long explanation of how that works in this thread (I think it's the third question down) https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/80991-le-pcos-diet-whole-grains-brown-rice-high-carb-intake.html and so people are befuddled as to how they're no longer eating high protein, but are STILL eating fewer carbs than they were!

This is likely just a one off but just going over the possibilities! :)

Either or both is great. Whatever you come across, they are both beneficial to the sway.

[Girlboyohboy]

Good luck on your next cycle that you decide! If we don't this cycle i think we may skip the next also or maybe 2. Just becasue we would liek to travel next winter and i don't want to travel too pregnant or with a too little of a baby :)
Thanks Treens! Traveling sounds like a good plan. Bets of luck to you! How have you been feeling so far this cycle?

[Girlboyohboy]

Gotcha.

Yes, 1-2 sodas a week would not have amounted to anything, but if you're eating fewer carbs overall, then maybe!

People with what is called "skinny PCOS" can still see those oddball cycles even when they're quite thin. It has to do with carb intake overall, and you can be eating a fairly low calorie diet that is more carb based (think, skim milk but sugar sweetened yogurt, bagels, pasta, salads with sweet-tasting salad dressing on top, that sort of thing where you're thinking you're dieting, but are still getting a lot of carbs as a % of your day's intake)

It's ok to continue eating carbs at every meal. We don't want you to be on a low carb and certainly not a VERY low carb diet. But what happens to a lot of people is that they eat fewer carbs than they were when not on LE Diet without realizing it! I have a big long explanation of how that works in this thread (I think it's the third question down) https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/80991-le-pcos-diet-whole-grains-brown-rice-high-carb-intake.html and so people are befuddled as to how they're no longer eating high protein, but are STILL eating fewer carbs than they were!

This is likely just a one off but just going over the possibilities! :)

Either or both is great. Whatever you come across, they are both beneficial to the sway.

Thank you for the thread, it’s very interesting! Also, interesting about the skinny pcos. I have a friend who has PCOS and she is very skinny, but also she is tall and does extreme exercising. When she’s not on birth control she just bleeds constantly. She also tends to only eat sugar and carbs. I guess it had never crossed my mind about having those tendencies because my cycles are regular and I never had issues getting pregnant before, but it sounds like it’s more of a pcos spectrum? I’m learning that a lot of things are like this and not so cut and dry.

I’m eating carbs and protein at every meal. I gave up overeating for Lent …but I do notice a difference! I feel lighter. All of this could be playing into my cycle normalizing to 28 days. I’m feeling a lot better about all of this. I started the fiber today and I will report back if I have any weight changes before the next cycle we attempt (most likely May).

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes that's right! Definitely a spectrum. Medical experts re coming around to thinking that PCOS is not even really a disorder, but more like a genetic variation where some of us have tendencies that way to a greater or lesser extent. Some people have strong tendencies and just don't handle carbs even at very low weights and in good physical condition, others can eat quite a lot of carbs and/or carry a lot more body weight with seemingly no ill effects. But despite that array, it's estimated that somewhere between 75-100% of all women would develop it if our lifestyle supported it strongly enough. It's just that we all have a lot of variation about the circumstances required to get us into PCO-Mode, if that makes sense.

Yes absolutely keep me posted!!!!

[treens]

I feel ok calm but just because its the first month and i dont have high expectations. after a few months i sue will just because of my age..

[Girlboyohboy]

Hi! I have a few more questions. I think we may try again this month after all. I felt so relaxed last month about this all, but now that TTC is feeling so real and close, I’m worrying more about my sway.

I’ve switched over to whole grains and that combined with me eating less has helped me lose 2 pounds over this last week. Yay! I’m thinking about ditching my afternoon diet soda out for another coffee, but just like with my morning coffee I won’t be able to stomach it without sugar. Do you think two coffees a day with sugar (16g) is too much for the alternate LE diet? It’s the only refined sugar I’m currently having. I want to cut out the diet soda because I think it might be flaring my autoimmune disease.

I’ve made changes over the past 6-12 months (cutting out red meet and skipping breakfast except for the coffee, adding alcohol, and lowering sugar a little bit), but just these past couple weeks I’ve really cracked down with eating smaller meals and no snacks. And now whole grains. Do you think 2-3 weeks of this stricter LE diet before my next ovulation would be enough since I had also made previous changes? The weight loss was non-existent before but now seems to be coming off a slight bit. I got my first girl and both my boys with a BMI under 20, and now I’m still in the 23 range. I’m only about 20 pounds heavier, but being only 4’11, it doesn’t take much weight to raise my BMI.

I also have a question about DH. He’s also up about 10-20 lbs in weight, but he’s still pretty slim and muscular. He has a furniture delivery company, so he’s constantly lifting heavy things (think solid oak China cabinets). Could this sway boy? He also does aggressive skating for exercise a few times a week. One more thing is that lately he’s been smoking cannabis. He usually would only enjoy it every now and then, but I told him smoking sways girl so I think he took this opportunity to enjoy more 😂. Is this as good as regular cigarettes for swaying? He smoked a lot of it when we got our girl, and none with our last boy. I can’t remember with our first boy, but my guess would be some but infrequent. Sorry for this massive post. I feel like I have things set up pretty well but just want some reassurance. Thanks!

[atomic sagebrush]

I would prefer you avoided sugar between meals. Ideally you'd give it up totally but if you do want to continue with it (and personally, coffee without sugar was a bridge too far for me, I just wanted to keep that for my sanity, and so I called that a cheat for myself!) I'd have it with a meal and keep everything between meals sugar free.

Of course, if it's that or have an autoimmune flareup, by all means! It's just that I can't say that sugar between meals won't affect a sway negatively and it's certainly not something we'd want to be doing on the alternate diet.

I can't ever tell anyone if something is "enough" or not. My crystal ball is sadly in the shop this week, and we're awaiting parts from Timbuktu and we just don't know when they'll arrive. :) Follow your gut and do what feels right to you. All I can speak to are overall statistics showing that 12 weeks plus has gotten best results, and it may be that your diet beforehand did qualify, I just can't know, though.

While obese dads do seem to have more daughters, beyond that we haven't been able to narrow it down any further. We have seen some men doing exercise (like the skating) tending to have more girls but also it's possible that level of activity might grow muscle mass and sway blue. Just can't say either way. The cannabis smoking does indeed seem to sway pink in my observations, and also I've spoken to reproductive endocrinologists who also believe it sways pink, but I don't have the same body of data that shows that in studies.

[Girlboyohboy]

Thank you Atomic. Let me know if those parts for your crystal ball ever arrive, because that sounds really cool 😂😉

I guess I’m more worried about a flare up of auto immune stuff swaying blue than having to deal with the symptoms of the flare up (which I’m used to and can tread through). I’m not drinking a ton of diet pop, just one a day which helps soo much with keeping me from snacking between lunch and dinner. I may just stick with it for now. I’m going to just try again this month because I know myself and the longer I do this swaying, the more I will obsess and read every little thing (which is what brought on these new questions to begin with).

I want a girl, but I know a boy would fit right in with his brothers. And my teen girl and I are so close and I actually worry about another girl coming between that bond. I even have a boy name that I love all picked out and ready to go just in case. Not trying to sound defeatist here, just realistic because I know nothing is a sure thing. On top of that, my own sister and I have a horrible relationship, and maybe I would be doing my daughter favors by keeping her the only girl. Not saying that some sisters can’t be incredibly close. Just processing here. I guess I’m just saying I feel at peace trying again this month. Thanks again for all you do!

[treens]

I feel like it is good to not be stick 100% on one gender just in case. I think you look like you are doing a good job everyone is different and you need to do whats right for you. I feel you about the coffee but I have started to drink it black in the morning. Its not as bad now :) But I get one with yummy creamer when i eat at about 11 :)
My husband also likes the occasional smoke he will be happy to learn it is possibly pink friendly.

also just my thoughts lots of stronger men seem to have girls. Like The rock, bruce willis, kris rock, mat Damon. Im not sure if they do anything else but they all only have daughters. So I hope it works well for you too

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't think it's flares of AI disease that sways, it's whatever it is in us that makes us more prone to them to start with. We have just GOBS of all boy moms myself included who have allergies, asthma, skin issues like eczema, and more serious AI diseases. But they still have boys even before they develop their conditions, and even when not flaring. So if it's a question of thinking flaring is somehow worse, it's really no different than the day to day, but I don't ever want to see anyone getting ill for something that does not help a sway anyway (artificial sweetener)

That's great you feel at peace! Keep that energy!!

[atomic sagebrush]

I feel like it is good to not be stick 100% on one gender just in case. I think you look like you are doing a good job everyone is different and you need to do whats right for you. I feel you about the coffee but I have started to drink it black in the morning. Its not as bad now :) But I get one with yummy creamer when i eat at about 11 :)
My husband also likes the occasional smoke he will be happy to learn it is possibly pink friendly.

also just my thoughts lots of stronger men seem to have girls. Like The rock, bruce willis, kris rock, mat Damon. Im not sure if they do anything else but they all only have daughters. So I hope it works well for you too

This is 1000% also what we have seen too. (also, Dave Bautista has all girls too) I occasionally to Cabelas and there is ALWAYS several families of manly men in there with lots of girls in tow, it's stunning! Unlike Costco, which is all full of moms with all boys, LOL.

[Girlboyohboy]

Thanks so much Treens and Atomic, your support really helps this control freak relax :)

[LMSM]

This is 1000% also what we have seen too. (also, Dave Bautista has all girls too) I occasionally to Cabelas and there is ALWAYS several families of manly men in there with lots of girls in tow, it's stunning! Unlike Costco, which is all full of moms with all boys, LOL.

My man is like Bruce Willis..bald, strong, all daughters..strong men are amazing girl dads haha (I’ve nothing to compare to obviously) :)

[Girlboyohboy]

My man is like Bruce Willis..bald, strong, all daughters..strong men are amazing girl dads haha (I’ve nothing to compare to obviously) :)

This gives me more hope because my husband is bald too!! He started going bald in high school and was almost completely bald by his 20s. I’ve heard that (prematurely) bald men have higher testosterone, so that worried me. Of course there are tons of factors that come into play, and I know I was very blue friendly when I got my boys. I was very thin but eating very nutritiously. Everything made from scratch, I was a little neurotic about it to be honest (another boy mom thing lol). Thank you so much for your post!

[treens]

Are you taking this month off or are you still going to try? AF arrived today and we were going to skip but I will think about it LOL its hard to wait!

Love The Costco and cabelas hahah so true!

[atomic sagebrush]

This gives me more hope because my husband is bald too!! He started going bald in high school and was almost completely bald by his 20s. I’ve heard that (prematurely) bald men have higher testosterone, so that worried me. Of course there are tons of factors that come into play, and I know I was very blue friendly when I got my boys. I was very thin but eating very nutritiously. Everything made from scratch, I was a little neurotic about it to be honest (another boy mom thing lol). Thank you so much for your post!

This is one of the many reasons why I very seriously doubt that "testosterone" is what is swaying. People used to worry about this constantly back on InGender and when we took a poll (admittedly unscientific, but so is counting bald celebs, LOL) it was OVERWHELMINGLY towards bald hubbies = more girls. And blue swayers don't despair, many of those people still went on to have sons too.

Also, the famously toupee'd Captain Kirk aka William Shatner has all girls. :)

[Girlboyohboy]

Treens, I’m the same as you..planned to skip this month but it’s so hard to wait (and for me not to obsess). One part of me wants to do diet a little longer with the whole grains, and the other part just wants to ttc right away again. I’ll let you know what we end up doing! I think whatever month you decide to go for it will turn out awesome because you sound on the right track (you’ve even got the plain coffee, serious props to you 😂).

Atomic, my bald hubby got us one girl already which is also reassuring for me :)

[Girlboyohboy]

Hi! I have a question about e4d. We have been doing e4d since cd6, so we have had unprotected BD cd6 and cd9 so far. We plan to again on cd12, and then DH will be out of town, so that will be our last attempt this cycle. Should the BD outside of the ovulation window be unprotected even with e4d? I read about regular unprotected intercourse during non-fertile times swaying blue. Also, I bit the bullet and asked DH about his own release patterns, and he said he is releasing on his own about every other day. I know I can’t change this and wouldn’t ask him to (he already seemed stressed about me asking), but I saw that this could sway blue by replenishing his supply so to speak. DH is 37. Any advice on these things? Thanks!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, the whole point of the e4d is that the sex is unprotected. We need it to be unprotected in case of early or late O, and trying to determine "am I in the fertile window yet, should DH wear a condom or pull out, oh no he forgot to pull out, my sway is DOOOOOMMMMEEEEDDDD!" is simply that control freakish stuff we don't want to have anyway.

Don't worry about the notion that unprotected BD might sway somewhat blue. That is a lot more for purposes of making blue swayers (who in many, many cases have shockingly inactive sex lives) have sex more often than once a month - which is not only what many old-school sites suggest for blue, but is also the natural pattern of many couples with all girls. I do not believe that any pink swayer is ever getting a boy by sex unplanned out of the fertile window (which is why we allow this, even with one attempt!)

Just to clarify, it has nothing to do with "replenishing supply". It has to do with the concept that being exposed often to your male partners hormones may send a signal that a male offspring has a better chance of survival. There is absolutely no difference between releasing every other day and e4d in terms of supply.

[Girlboyohboy]

Thank you so much for this Atomic! Also when it comes to replenishing supply, I meant more like he would he be boosting his sperm count doing every other day release? as opposed to releasing every day or abstaining (which can lower sperm count?) I’m sure I’m overthinking all of this, and should have just stayed blissfully unaware of his private releasing patterns 🥴

[atomic sagebrush]

I understand what you mean but there is no difference between every other day release and every 4 days method. 2-4 days has the same effect.

We have not found that either abstain or daily release was effective for swaying, regardless of their effects on sperm count. They also really dramatically reduce odds of conception with that one attempt, which is of course the thing that actually works. So if he's not going to change his ways anyway, I would not worry about it at all.

[Girlboyohboy]

Sounds good, I will try to just relax and let things take their course. DH was trying to have sex again yesterday cd10, and I was like ok but you have to put a condom on, which I think really confused him since we’re ttc. I haven’t told him much about swaying because I’m pretty sure he already thinks I’m a neurotic nut job lol. Anyway, I had to explain the whole one attempt thing for pink. All is good 😂

[Girlboyohboy]

Hi, I have another question about attempts. Our pattern turned out to be every 4 days with 3 full days in-between vs every 72 hours. I have a feeling this will cut odds of conception greatly for us because I O’d later than I thought I would. So we had an attempt 4/17 and 4/21. I believed I would ovulate 4/22 or 4/23. But I think I ovulated 4/25. My husband was out of town until late last night so we didn’t get another attempt in until this morning 4/26. I was having light cramping 4/23 with some cm, but then heavy cramping 4/24 with gobs of cm, and again heavy cramping 4/25 with some cm. Now I’ve dried up and cramping is gone. I’ve been trying to avoid using OPKs - partially because I don’t know how to and I don’t like change 😂 - and because I didn’t want to have to add an extra thing to the list while swaying, but maybe I need to. Clearly I’m already obsessing about when I O’d so it could maybe help with that. So with an attempt O-4, is that still even considered a likely attempt? Also, in your years of observing women’s cycles, how likely is it to have heavy cramps the day after O?

[atomic sagebrush]

No worries about the OPK, you don't need to use them. Even when using them, people still wonder when they ovulated so it's not even going to give you that benefit.

It is incredibly likely to have heavy cramps the day after or even 2-3 days after O. This is because the Fallopian tubes cramp after ovulation to move the egg down into the uterus. I myself very regularly have cramping through 3 days after O (and far worse than menstrual cramps too BTW) I have also had EWCM for a couple days after O (in fact, I had that the month I got my daughter). You can see your patterns change dramatically even without swaying, let alone with swaying, so even if it hasn't happened in the past, it can happen at any point in time.

Attempt O-4 is not great chance of conception - think maybe 1 in 1000 - but it IS possible. And we don't KNOW that is the timing you had. It could have been O-3, 2, or even 1. And even with O-4 it's still possible! You are still in it to win it!

[Girlboyohboy]

This is great info about ovulation cramps and EWCM! I feel like a lot of the info I read online about ovulation is very cookie cutter and doesn’t talk about individual variations that are possible. I will put myself back in the game. I was feeling sorry for myself today and had kind of a cheat day, but I think I really needed it. Thank you always Atomic!

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes! The occasional cheat days are 100% allowed on LE Diet.

Love your new avatar BTW!

[Girlboyohboy]

Thanks! 😄

[Girlboyohboy]

Hello Atomic, Treens, and all of you lovely ladies! Happy late Mother’s Day!

AF arrived today. I think we are going to stick closer to q72hrs this month for attempts, and DH won’t be going out of town so that should also help. I’m happy I’ll get a little more time on the alternate diet. Weight has been steady after having lost a few pounds, but I did cheat a bit during the 2WW. I’m feeling really peaceful about having either gender and just enjoying the journey right now! Just wanted to update, no questions (for now lol). Hope you all are doing well!

[atomic sagebrush]

Awesome!!! Keep up the good work! Let me know how I can help!

[treens]

Hi! I am feeling I will get AF any day now I am CD 27. I feel like we are on the exact page. Although I would love a girl another baby would be great when the time is right. We will also stick the the 72 hrs and stay on the diet and excursive the best I can I have been loosing about 1 pound a week. My bmi is still 25.7 almost in the normal range lol

[Girlboyohboy]

Hi Treens! It would be so fun to become pregnant the same cycle as you. It sounds like our cycles are so close together now. And a Valentines baby would be so sweet 🥰
You are doing really well, wow a pound a week! I’ve lost about 5 pounds over the past few months. The alternate diet really helped and I have a lot more energy. Slow and steady lol.

[treens]

I am still loosing all the pregnancy weight though :) I didn't even think of the time a Valentines baby would be so nice! My little guy is almost 9 months

[Girlboyohboy]

Didn’t conceive last cycle and I’m on cycle day 2 today. I’m starting to get a little bummed because I thought we would be pregnant by now. We have been doing every 72 hours, but I think the timing keeps landing to where we get our attempt in almost three days before I ovulate. I believe in one attempt and that it works, but I wish my attempt would land one day before ovulation 🥴

[atomic sagebrush]

GBOB, we have the option of dropping in another attempt at first positive OPK if you're ready to do that.

[Girlboyohboy]

I think I’d like to add the OPK. I’ve never used them before so I’ll have to get aquatinted with them.

[atomic sagebrush]

Most of the time, they're quite easy to use! Just do one after lunch-ish (say about 1 pm) and then one before dinner (like at 5 pm or so) as after lunch is the time the hormone is at its most concentrated. Some brands like Clearblue can be used with FMU but even with Clearblue, testing after lunch has helped some people who aren't getting positives, to get them. If you know there's no way you're fertile, you don't need to do the tests. I would have you start them earlier than you think, at first, so you can see them go from negative to positive (there is often a gradual darkening process, tho it is possible to go from stark white to positive all of a sudden too), so if you normally O CD 14, start them CD 8 or 9 (this depends on cost, if you're using super expensive digi tests obvs you would want to wait till more like CD 11 range). If you usually O a different time, you can shift the days but keep in mind that it's not unusual to see fertile window shift rather dramatically when swaying (or even NOT when swaying)

So then, you'd start off doing your e4d after your period ends and just carry on with that both before and after the pos OPK attempt. then be taking the OPK at the appropriate times and whenever you see that first positive (not the darkest, but the first) have another attempt while continuing on with the e4d attempts in the ORIGINAL pattern you were having them, don't reset the pattern based on the e4d attempt. If your pos opk attempt falls on the same day as your regularly scheduled attempt, STILL have two attempts. Have 2 attempts the same day, have one the following day or the day before if you can predict it, whatever, just add that second attempt in there somewhere. Then keep going with the e4d after that till you're sure you've ovulated.

[treens]

Good morning, Im sorry you still have not conceived. I am with you also I am CD 7. We will try the every72 plus 1 attempt this month :)

Good luck to you

[Girlboyohboy]

Thank you Ladies. I’m feeling good about the OPK, so hopefully not too much longer since our son will be 4 and I wanted them to be a little closer in age.

My cycles have been 32 days (they were 34 days before I began swaying) and my periods have been lighter. Also I’ve been getting my period in the afternoon/evening, and I used to get it right when I woke up in the morning. I will adjust the OPKs based on my cycle length. Atomic, what do you mean by positive vs darkest OPK?

[atomic sagebrush]

There is a glut of terrible apps on the market that are telling people that it's only the darkest OPK strip that determins when you will ovulate, when in reality it's actually the FIRST positive (test line as dark or darker than control line) that determines O (24-36 hours average after the first positive). The darkest line can actually come too late!

[Girlboyohboy]

Ok thanks Atomic, that is so helpful!
My period only lasted 3-4 days instead of 5 days and it was super light. Do you think this could affect conceiving? I haven’t lost any weight recently, I’ve been steady for about a month or so. I’m still eating LE style plus coffee & some alcohol.
My LP was 14 days this last cycle.

[atomic sagebrush]

Shorter lighter periods are super common with swaying and we take it as an encouraging sign. https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-general-discussion/58219-when-did-you-get-af-what-genders-do-you-have.html?highlight=shorter+lighter+period

I get this question frequently, and this has never been indicative of any issue. In fact many of the people went on to get pregnant the very next month after asking me this.
Keep in mind that firstly your period tells you what happened LAST month, and every month you will grow a new lining. And 3-4 days is not unusually short, it's in normal range. Many of us, myself included, always have 3-4 day periods. The month I conceived my daughter, I had a crazy short period, only about a day of bleeding and a bit of spotting. But that didn't affect my lining the next month, and I was able to get pregnant regardless.

Plus, the lining is really one of the last things to worry about - you'd be seeing short LP and very long cycles (not to mention extreme weight loss and being super low BMI) before you'd see your lining affected negatively.

[Girlboyohboy]

Awesome, hopefully this means the changes I’ve made are working! I did have some spotting today, just a little bit of bright red blood mixed with some CM, which is very unusual for CD 6, especially since I had nothing CD5. So it was like this, CD1 light bleeding, CD 2 heavy bleeding, CD 3 light bleeding, CD 4 spotting (pretty much non-existent), CD 5 nothing, CD 6 bright red spotting in cm.

I’m trying not to overthink or become control freak, but it just seems so unusual, particularly now the spotting a day later. Im feeling happy overall with the fact that there are changes, and I plan to focus on the OPKs from here on out.

[atomic sagebrush]

A little spotting after your period ends is super common. Try not to read anything into it. It ususally is a lot less blood than you think it is!

[Girlboyohboy]

Sounds good, thanks a bunch Atomic for answering all my questions 💗

[Girlboyohboy]

Can someone please help me see if this is positive? I’m a first time OPK user 🥴
43624

[Kazzzz]

Can someone please help me see if this is positive? I’m a first time OPK user 🥴
43624

I'd say very close like within 12hrs of going positive I'd retest soon and like 2-3 times a day to capture it. I think the best time to test is like 2-4pm the ovulation hormones are higher in the afternoon.

[Girlboyohboy]

Thank you Kazzzz! I took this at 8 pm last night when I got home from work. I will rest today many times 😁

[atomic sagebrush]

Any update?? Getting close!

[Girlboyohboy]

Ok, this OPK is from earlier today while I was at work. It’s lighter, so I’m not sure if I missed the surge or what’s going on. I’m going to take another when I get home from work, but we plan to BD tonight anyway because our e4d pattern lands today.

43625

[Kazzzz]

It can fluctuate depending on the concentrated of your urine an also like i said the ovulation hormones are higher in the afternoon don't know why. My tests are normally way higher at night, you mite notice the same. You could go from that to a blazing positive tonight good luck.

[treens]

Good luck to you :))))

[Girlboyohboy]

Thanks ladies! I might have covid again, I’m going to get tested tomorrow (I was exposed to someone with it and now running a temp), so this month is kinda messed up now. I don’t believe I’ve ovulated yet (which is now days late compared to the previous few months), and my husband is sleeping in a separate room because he doesn’t want to get Covid obviously lol, so I guess we’ll see if I’m better by the time I actually ovulate or we might just have to wait until next month. I had the Delta version last year which was way worse than this, so at least there’s that!

[Girlboyohboy]

Covid is positive and opk is positive. Go figure.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh gosh I'm so sorry to hear that - feel better soon! We have been having a weird number of people coming up Covid pos right around ovulation, beginning to wonder if there's a correlation, like our immune system drops around then or something.

So glad it's easier than Delta!

[treens]

big bug!!! Next month I wish will be your month if this one cant be :) Hope you are feeling ok

[Girlboyohboy]

Thanks Atomic and Treens! I felt so much better on the Fourth of July, so we actually got an attempt in that day, and the bonus is that my OPK was also blazing positive that day (I don’t think I knew what a positive was before seeing that). Cramping and CM lined up with ovulation being on July 5th, so hopefully it’s a legit attempt!!

I’m wondering if my body kept gearing up to ovulate but it was delayed because of the Covid? Atomic, your theory about the immune system seems really accurate. Do you think that having Covid during ovulation might sway pink? Had to ask of course haha.

Also, we got two attempts in on the fourth, not just one. My husband didn’t think I was going to be feeling better yet, so he released on his own that morning, a few hours before our first attempt. We then did it again that evening. I know this probably sways more blue for us, but when he told me he had already released, it worried me that it would make conceiving less likely with only that first attempt. We are going on vacation next week so hopefully I can keep my mind off of it all during the hardest part of the TWW lol.

[atomic sagebrush]

Sickness during O does seem to sway pink. I can't pin it down any closer than that, like by individual virus. We just don't know.

Two attempts has also been pretty good along with an otherwise good sway. It was really three where it was so heavily blue. I think you guys had a great attempt!! FXFXFX!

[treens]

Best of luck!!!

[Girlboyohboy]

Hello Ladies! How is everyone doing? I’m on CD 9 today, so we didn’t end up conceiving last cycle. I’ve just been trying to not think too much about swaying and conceiving these past few weeks. The kids start school in a couple weeks and our little guy is off to preschool, so I’m just getting everything organized (but not TOO organized 😆 ).

We will continue with OPKs this month, q4days plus one attempt with positive OPK. My husband started eating KETO a few weeks ago. Any info on how that might sway? It’s always something haha!

[atomic sagebrush]

Normal day to day life stuff, like organizing for preschool and stuff, doesn't seem to sway in any appreciable way. Unlike the people who just get absolutely consumed/obsessed with swaying, making color-coded charts, keeping thorough records of meaningless data, scheduling their lives in 15 minute increments months in advance, that kind of thing.

Diet stuff really doesn't seem to sway strongly for husbands. We just don't honestly know and men are going to do what they want, it seems; the control-freak stress from trying to interfere with your hubby's plans is so much worse for sways than any diet changes men do that it's not even worth consideration.

[Girlboyohboy]

LOL thank you Atomic, I’m really just poking fun at all of us control freak boy moms 🤪
And I agree about husbands and swaying. I’ve come to accept that the swaying is a “me thing” and to leave it at that. That said, I’ve indulged in a few of the keto items he has, and I’m wondering if some stevia is ok for me? I’ve heard it can be contraindicated for fertility and I don’t want make conceiving any harder. Thanks as always!!

[atomic sagebrush]

The truth is, we honestly don't know about stevia. The old school sway gurus claimed it swayed blue because of "alkalinity" but their claims about pH are bogus in every way. I seriously doubt that anyone's sway has ever come down to artificial sweetener of any variety.

As for fertility, while there are a few naturopaths out there who claim otherwise, the data indicates it is fine to use stevia when TTC in reasonable amounts. People who are big into artificial sweeteners may be eating unwisely in other arenas (such as, either they are overweight and trying to control that with fake sugar, or they're big into herbs and supplements, that kind of thing) and so I can see that observationally tricking some people who were looking for it, into thinking they had seen a connection that isn't there. It totally strains belief that occasionally ahving something with stevia, even if it WAS bad, could possibly harm anyone's fertility in any way.

[Girlboyohboy]

Thank you Atomic! I’m sorry for checking out for a while, I needed a little mental space from thinking about all of this. But apparently the stevia data regarding fertility was spot on because I had some stevia for a few weeks and I just got my BFP!!! I’m a little shocked, I’ve been so used to seeing negatives every month lol. Thank you so much for all of your time and thoughtful answers to my many sway questions! I will of course update once we get the gender testing done!! :)

[treens]

I am so happy for you!!! Congratulations! What will your due date be? My husband wants to wait until baby is born to find out gender!!!!! I don't know if I can. Especialy since we are paying for a NIPT why wouldn't we find out??

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh gosh wonderful news! Keep us posted!!!

[Girlboyohboy]

Thanks Atomic!!

Thanks Treens!! I’m so happy to be on this pregnancy adventure with you! 💗 I think I’m due around the end of April. I haven’t seen a midwife yet. What’s your due date?? Also, that’s so funny because my husband wants the gender to be a surprise at birth too. But it’s way too hard for me to wait lol. I’ve never had the NIPT done before, so I’ve always found out at the 20 week anatomy scan. I want to know really soon with this one, so I will probably do the early test. Maybe he and I can compromise, I’ll find out early and he can be surprised at the birth 🤣 How are you feeling?

[treens]

We are due April 11, but will go early because I will have a planed c-section this will be my 5th. I go for my first ultrasound August 31 then I will know better :) I am feeling good just little bit of tender breasts. How are you feeling?

[Girlboyohboy]

April babies 💗💗
I’m feeling ok, just some sore breasts too. Usually the nausea will ramp up for me in the coming weeks lol.

[Girlboyohboy]

My midwife won’t see me until I’m 8-10 weeks along. Because my last pregnancy was a surprise and I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was about that far along, I didn’t know they had that rule. So now I wait…impatiently lol.

[treens]

I am from Canada maybe it is different? I know she usually doesn't see until 11 weeks. But since i am 42 and my last pregnancy i needed to be on thyroid meds I wanted to get the blood work done to be sure i don't again. I don't so far this time so odd?

[atomic sagebrush]

My midwife won’t see me until I’m 8-10 weeks along. Because my last pregnancy was a surprise and I didn’t know I was pregnant until I was about that far along, I didn’t know they had that rule. So now I wait…impatiently lol.

Yep that's par for the course - my doc wouldn't see me with my last three till I was 12 weeks, and they scheduled me for early ultrasound and appointment at the same time.

[Girlboyohboy]

Wow 11-12 weeks for you both! And here I am whining about 8 weeks haha. I had home births for my first two, so there are still things I’m not used to with the hospital midwife. Treens, that makes sense about being 42 and the thyroid meds and going earlier. That’s good news about not having it again this time!

[Girlboyohboy]

Just a quick update. We found out we are having a little boy 💙

[treens]

Congratulations boys are really wonderful! I know it was not what you dreamed but he will be so loved :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh gosh I'm so sorry it didn't go the way we were hoping for, but huge congrats on your new son!

[Girlboyohboy]

Thank you Treens and Atomic! We are still really excited about our new addition, I’m sure he will fit right in with our little crew 🥰

[Girlboyohboy]

Atomic, I was wondering if I should still fill out form about the details of my sway, even though I got an opposite?

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes please do!! I want to hear from everyone, regardless of how their sway came out!