Just casually browsing

[foursquare]

Hey y'all-- So I've swayed pink a total of 4 times, with 3 opposites. The most recent being TWIN BOYS! They are amazing, a total blessing and so unexpected, but also....the gender disappointment was real. Real real real. So here I am again... eternally hoping for that pink. I can't seem to kick it. My most recent sway was so perfect in every way, and maybe that was my downfall. I was exercising every day for 60 minutes (zumba every morning and some days walking or swimming), skipping breakfast, coffee coffee coffee, vegetarian, PCOS LE diet, fiber, alcohol with dinner. e4d, taking myo inositol, breastfeeding while ttc, I don't know....re-hashing just makes me super sad. My husband was actually taking myo inositol at the time of conception for his non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and I learned shortly thereafter that apparently as a male supplement it makes SUPER SPERM (so maybe look into that for blue sways!!) And I just legit wanted to cry my heart out for months because I'm just so sure I ruined the entire sway with him taking that supplement. But here we are
And I was initially so excited for twins thinking I had double the chance at pink!! But nope! And I'd probably ttc again if I could guarantee a girl, but I know nothing is guaranteed and my husband just isn't on board with IVF/PGD, so..... ugh. Just feeling stuck. Really stuck. And I'm rambling here. Of course it sounds like I'm searching for a magic bullet. But maybe the magic bullet is just to let it go. I guess I'm wondering what else I could have done? If I did this again should I douche? Try and get my hands on femara? PH stuff? Ugh. Anyway. Thanks for listening and I'm cheering you all on from afar!! XOXO

[treens]

Thank you for sharing with us. Sending hugs and wishing you will get the girl of your dreams! Im sure attomic will help with some suggestions. Just wanted you to know its a safe place here and i am glad you shared and I hope you will get the suggestions you need!

[LMSM]

Hi Foursquare and congrats on your beautiful family!

I'm a blue swayer that's only had opposites so far, and with a husband also against IVF/GS so I know where you're coming from...I know what you mean with "what more could I possibly have done?"
Just wanted to send you aaaaall my pink dust (all you lovely pink swaying ladies can share, there is plenty haha)!
(oh and now I need to check into myo inositol for hubbies for super twin blue bundle sperm LOL - my drram wuld be to have twin boys haha...Atomic if you're reading this, don't panic, won't just go and get him some :P)

[foursquare]

Treens: thank you so much :) I just needed a place to release all my pent up emotions for a hot minute lol

LMSM: Thank you lovely. Sending you lots of blue dust. I really wish my husband was open to IVF/PGD bc it would just solve all my problems. Sigh.

I'm not even sure if we will ttc again. I just would probably follow the LE PCOS diet JUST in case we decided to. I'm just tired and still beat up about it all. I wish I knew where my sway went wrong. I even tried to just let it go for a bit and not stress about it. But maybe I was stressing about not stressing LOL anyway, thanks ladies for the support and love, always.

[atomic sagebrush]

Here's what you have to understand when coming back from a sway opposite - it wasn't anything you did or didn't do, as long as you tried. If swaying could ever come down to one thing we would already KNOW that one thing because it would be glaringly obvious. It's just this huge package deal and the biggest aspect of that has to do with luck. With even "perfect" sways we still get opposites somewhere between 1/3-1/4 of the time, and that's a big group of people. If swaying could ever be 100% for sure with a few easy to do lifestyle changes, the whole human race would have died out a long time ago. At the least, there would be tribes or religious groups out there with some weird diet and a wildly wacky gender ratio - but there aren't. It's just more complicated than taking a supplement or not (and considering a whole lot of people have actually given their husband myoinositol deliberately with pink sways and gotten girls, there's no way it's a magic blue bullet)

All we can ever really do with swaying is just do what has worked for most people, but that just can't ever be a guarantee. Now, going from 66-75% likely to have another boy, to 66-75% likely to have a girl is still a great deal, but there are still going to be some opposites even when you have had the absolute most amazing sway of all time, that's all. You did what you could do and then you fell into the opposite group and it probably wasn't anything beyond sheer dumb luck that did it.

So as we decide what to change (if anything) we need to look at what has worked for most people most of the time and do that. That you didn't have success this last time through doesn't mean it can't work for you in the future. Swaying is weird in that you can do the exact same thing again, and just have better luck the next time through. And, you'll avoid the pitfall I think you're slightly alluding to in your post, the control freakishness. IF, and I'm not saying that there was, but IF there was, any element of the control freakish stuff affecting your last sway negatively, stressing and obsessing over "what went wrong" is very much not the approach to take. Starting up with douching or measuring pH (which doesn't work and prevents conception in many many cases) only feeds that sense of needing to control every element all the time that can undermine otherwise good sways. Plus, since it makes it take longer to conceive to do pH methods, you can end up on diet too long, with a messed up cycle, having to go off diet to get your cycle back to normal, all those pitfalls as well. So to me, adding in douche or jelly is not what I would recommend.

Now, Femara actually does add something so if you were to get your hands on that, it may help. If it makes you feel better to have hubby drop the myo, that's fine too. But I think that your best bet is to do what works for most people, most of the time, even if that renders a very similar sway than you had to start with!

[foursquare]

Alright well-- this doesnt deserve its own thread, but because I'm crazed....sigh......are there artificial sweeteners we should or should not use? Stevia? Aspartame? Like in normal amounts, not crazy stuff lol.

[atomic sagebrush]

The old school sway gurus say to use aspartame and not Stevia for pink. Please keep this in the safe and sane level of 2-3 servings of 12-16 oz per day, as approved by the FDA as safe prior to conception. I do not think this matters one bit, and in fact I've seen a lot of pink sway opposites with people drinking absolutely insane levels of artificial sweeteners - but I find this to be most likely because of the "control freakishness" personality that leads someone to ingest so many artificial sweeteners and not the artificial sweeteners themselves (in other words, blue swayers, don't read this and start having gobs of fake sugar please)

[foursquare]

Thank you Atomic, I'll just drink my coffee black in the morning and maybe add 2 packets to my second cup later in the afternoon.

So I'm wondering if some of my go to foods are higher in carbs and nutrient dense-- like, I love dips, so I often dip in hummus. Is hummus nutrient dense? Any better alternatives? Maybe low fat ranch? I usually dip with Pretzels or tortilla chips which is probably not a great idea. Anything other than carrots or veggies I can dip? I also love to snack on popcorn..... I love yogurt too but I know that's a fine one. And by sneak. I mean that these are incorporated into my 2 meals/day.
Are milks like oatmilk or soy milk okay as a glass midday? I prefer those over cows milk honestly.

Also, as far as purchasing a plan-- can you tell me more or point me in the direction of what that would cost/look like?

Thank you!!! Xoxo

[atomic sagebrush]

You don't worry about that type of thing. Hummus within limits is fine. What we mean when we say "nutrient dense" is highly fortified foods like breakfast cereal, meal replacer shakes, and power bars...where eating one of them is like basically taking a vitamin. Hummus is absolutely fine to eat and is a good way to get some protein, cals, and fat.

DO NOT be having lowfat anything on the PCOS diet. All these lowfat products do is replace calories from fat with calories from sugar, and you don't need that on the alternate LE Diets. Stick with full fat, and remember you have 50-60 g fat to work with, not counting the protein and fat in fruit and veg cause they're free for pro and fat.

Switch to whole grain chips or the bean chips. Or have it as a spread on whole grain bread or whole wheat tortilla. I agree that pretzels and tortilla chips aren't the best choice as they're more refined carbs, so look for something that's whole grain or higher protein.

Popcorn, due to its fiber content, is pretty well tolerated, nothing wrong with that.

Yogurt is absolutely fine, even with sugar. That's one of those things we bend the rules on because yogurt is such a good snack or even a small meal, and the fat and protein mitigates the sugar content by slowing down rises and falls in blood sugar.

I do want you to understand that you can have 2 OR 3 meals on LE Diet. Both are allowed, you just push back the first meal a little and have 3 in the remaining time, you don't have to skip breakfast totally, just have that 12-16 hour overnight fast. Some people don't get hungry eating 3 meals, or feel too stuffed at 2 big meals, and so everyone should do whatever works for them in that regard. It still counts as skipping breakfast either way.

Soy milk, I have you guys avoid because there's mixed evidence about how it sways - I have everyone keep soy to 2-3 servings a week. Other things like rice and Oat milk are quite carby and don't have the protein to oppose the carbs. It's probably best to have something different instead, whether that's full fat milk or one of the lower carb, higher protein milk replacers - they do have some that are much lower in carbs so give them a try and see if you like them (I also like the milk replacers better than milk!)

The info about the plans is in this link or you can access it from the top of the page, where it reads membership and plans.

[atomic sagebrush]

You don't worry about that type of thing. Hummus within limits is fine. What we mean when we say "nutrient dense" is highly fortified foods like breakfast cereal, meal replacer shakes, and power bars...where eating one of them is like basically taking a vitamin. Hummus is absolutely fine to eat and is a good way to get some protein, cals, and fat.

DO NOT be having lowfat anything on the PCOS diet. All these lowfat products do is replace calories from fat with calories from sugar, and you don't need that on the alternate LE Diets. Stick with full fat, and remember you have 50-60 g fat to work with, not counting the protein and fat in fruit and veg cause they're free for pro and fat.

Switch to whole grain chips or the bean chips. Or have it as a spread on whole grain bread or whole wheat tortilla. I agree that pretzels and tortilla chips aren't the best choice as they're more refined carbs, so look for something that's whole grain or higher protein.

Popcorn, due to its fiber content, is pretty well tolerated, nothing wrong with that.

Yogurt is absolutely fine, even with sugar. That's one of those things we bend the rules on because yogurt is such a good snack or even a small meal, and the fat and protein mitigates the sugar content by slowing down rises and falls in blood sugar.

I do want you to understand that you can have 2 OR 3 meals on LE Diet. Both are allowed, you just push back the first meal a little and have 3 in the remaining time, you don't have to skip breakfast totally, just have that 12-16 hour overnight fast. Some people don't get hungry eating 3 meals, or feel too stuffed at 2 big meals, and so everyone should do whatever works for them in that regard. It still counts as skipping breakfast either way.

Soy milk, I have you guys avoid because there's mixed evidence about how it sways - I have everyone keep soy to 2-3 servings a week. Other things like rice and Oat milk are quite carby and don't have the protein to oppose the carbs. It's probably best to have something different instead, whether that's full fat milk or one of the lower carb, higher protein milk replacers - they do have some that are much lower in carbs so give them a try and see if you like them (I also like the milk replacers better than milk!)

The info about the plans is in this link https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/payments.php or you can access it from the top of the page, where it reads membership and plans.

[foursquare]

Hi again!

So if there was hypothetically something to add to a sway that people avoid bc it cuts chances of conception drastically but in theory probably has pretty good odds of swaying pink-- what would that be? Douche? Lubricant? I honestly would rather cut my odds of conception and take a while to conceive than to have NOT tried that item and conceive faster...if that makes sense. Obviously it will be fine if we have another and it's a boy, but I'd like to know I threw the kitchen sink at it.

Thank you as always for all you do Atomic!

[atomic sagebrush]

NOTHING that we cut from the sway has a good chance at swaying pink. I never cut anything from the sway that has a good chance. I only cut things that don't work and cut odds of conception. The things you mention (douching and lubricant) but also things like frequency patterns, timing, sex positions, antihistamines, supplements do absolutely nothing. Their results are lower than the overall results of the site, in most cases significantly lower (liike 10-20%) and when we calculated the inverses, the same number of people got boys and girls with and without it. We even had a statistician involved in this analysis. These things simply do nothing and that is why I happily drop them.

No one ever, ever, ever, avoids things that definitively sway pink. I wouldn't be able to get people to give up stuff that works, even if I wanted to. Most of my job entails getting people to give up stuff that doesn't work, so having people give up things that DO work - there's not enough hours in the day for that. :)

The only reason I keep things that don't work in the mix is just because many people cannot rest without trying them. That's fine. It is your sway, your way. But it isn't because they secretly work and if you know the special insider handshake I'll clue you in, LOL. We keep things that work, even if they cut odds of conception, for as long as we possibly can. We ditch things that don't work, ESPECIALLY when they cut odds of conception, right from the jump, as soon as people feel they can move past them.

So now to answer your question, there are some things that do seem to work and also cut odds of conception some, either directly or indirectly (by disrupting the cycle and then making people end up stopping or delaying ovulation):

The alternate (PCOS, "slow burn") form of the LE Diet is better than the standard LE, but can make people lose massive amounts of weight quite fast and in some cases they'll stop ovulating on it. It's been so much more consistent that I now support everyone using it, but if you go this route you have to be VERY careful not to go overboard with diet, and also to be open to ditching more things that do nothing and cut odds of conception. This is true of ALL sway diets too BTW, whenever they're done too long or too strictly (usually both). You do not, under any circumstances, want to waste ages of time pursuing sway tactics that do nothing while you're wasting away on diet. People who do this end up with their cycle so messed up they have to go off diet either partly or totally, in order just to get pregnant. It is a huge mistake (and big predictor of sway opposites) when people waste time on things that don't work while dieting in unsustainable ways. So avoid that pitfall!

Myoinositol is a supplement that's gotten good results, particularly for people with a lot of weight to spare or with moderate to severe PCOS (and possibly women over 40, tho I'm less sold on that). When people who are NOT in those groups take it, it makes them lose weight too fast and they're more likely to stop ovulating. For people who don't need it, it causes more harm than good.

Same for cinnamon, only more so. VERY few people should use cinnamon for swaying. Only those with 50 pounds or more to spare, and should use only a small dose (like 1/8 to 1/4 teaspoon absolute max). Cinnamon has had a lot of side effects in addition to being too effective at weight loss.

Exercise - Great sway tactic, but can make weight fly off and people lose ovulation sometimes even without excess weight loss.

Clomid/Femara - If you are on these medications longer than needed, they can start to have a negative effect on your ability to conceive, but they do sway pink and have been shown to in studies. You have to be ready to ditch all the ineffective sway tactics and get pregnant quickly, preferably within 3 months, but definitely within 6. I have a very involved schedule if you end up on these medications so we are dropping the things that don't work and keeping the things that do, as long as possible.

One attempt - definitely cuts odds of conception, but does work. That having been said, don't hold on to it longer than 3-6 months absolute max, and more like 2-4 months is probably more sensible. PLEASE don't do the thing so many do, where they get in touch with me only after having been doing one attempt for 9-12 months, by which point they're skeletally thin and having super long cycles. If you aren't pregnant in 2-3 months, please get in touch with me at that point and I'll tell you what to change then.

Jump and Dump - this is something that has seemed to consistently have just a wee bit higher results with it than without it. Most people do the jump and dump after 5 minutes of laying flat. Some do it immediately after ejaculation has occurred, but that really really cuts odds of conception. You can always start off doing it right after intercourse then gradually extend the amount of time.