Swaying for a girl advice

[StephBailey]

Hello,

I am 29 and have an almost two year old little boy. Was very much swaying boy for him without even realising!

I have now been swaying for a girl. Loosely started the LE diet in about august 2022. Started properly swaying in November 2022 using low everything diet, drinking 2-3 coffees a day, Coke Zero, eating vegeterian, 1x wine a day and walking for 1hr about 5x a week. I also have a very active lifestyle running around a hospital for work 2-3x a week and looking after my toddler. I am down to 50kg and am mindful to not loose anymore weight. We are using 1x attempt at positive OPK. Have tried one attempt past few cycles and not gotten pregnant. I know itÂ’s very soon still and want to stick with 1x attempt for now.

I was taking myoinositol for a few months but stopped about a month ago as started to have spotting in my luteal phase (since January). I saw on a forum that I should have never taken it.. my bad. Today is day three of my cycle. Last cycle I had the spotting still. . Am only taking folic acid now. I am making sure I am adding in more animal fat and dairy to my sway. Was previously swaying being vegetarian Am having about 1500-1700 calories a day, getting about 40-50g fat a day and about 40g protein. I was fasting until lunch but have recently started having breakfast and drinking 1-2 cups raspberry leaf tea a day to try and help this spotting. Anything else you would suggest/ I should stop to help spotting?

I have had a blood test and hormones, thyroid and vitamins, iron all good. I have a blood test to test progesterone this month at day 21. Any advice is much appreciated. Am hoping for my little girl and to be pregnant soon!

[atomic sagebrush]

I wouldn't be doing the raspberry leaf tea. Sometimes hormonal supplements cause more harm than good. We need to get out of your body's way as it will already be trying to fix the issue.

No fiber supps, right? If you're taking them drop them.

What is your BMI and how much weight have you lost? We may want to increase cals but I need more info before I decide about that.

What we need to do is correct the diet. I want you to up your fat intake to 50-60 g and you can do that in the form of full fat dairy if you're not already, at least one serving a day.

[StephBailey]

Hi Atomic,

Thanks so much for your reply. My BMI is 18.8. I have lost about 4kg since October 2022. Have kept my weight stable for the past few months as didn’t want to loose anymore. Will stop the raspberry leaf tea and am not taking fiber supplements. Will up my fat intake- have already started some full fat dairy but will make sure I am getting a serve a day. Do you recommend I continue with a bit of steak and salmon?

[atomic sagebrush]

I prefer you guys stop losing weight at BMI 21 because we've seen things like short LP with spotting develop below that point. So yes, it's imperative you not lose one bit more. The BMI 18.5 is basically the "do not go below this weight under any circumstances" but it's best to stop losing at BMI 21. I say this because a lot of people read my BMI 21 guideline, disregard it, decide to get to BMI 18.5, and by then disaster has already struck.

Because the effects of losing too much weight can be cumulative (meaning, you think "but I fixed this months ago, why is it happening now" it's because it takes time to affect you negatively, and even more time to correct, so just changing your diet isn't always a quick fix, we still have to wait sometimes months before the situation corrects) We may even need to have you gain some back, but I'm ok with you upping your fat intake first to see if it fixes the issue. Don't worry if you do need to regain a few pounds, small amounts of weight gain have not been predictive of whose sways succeed. Many people have had to regain a bit of weight when they've gone too far with the diet and still get girls.

Yes, I want you on one serving of full fat dairy every day, 4-6 eggs a week, and 1 serving of salmon if you like it and red meat if you don't like salmon.

[StephBailey]

Thanks so much Atomic. I am very petite and have a small bone structure, have always been on the smaller size easily. I fell pregnant with my son when I was about 53kg, am now 50.5kg. For me to be a BMI 21 that would be 59kg- I don’t even think I could get to that weight with my body type. I was at that weight when I gave birth to my son and had a very healthy pregnancy/ ate lots.

Will definitely be mindful to not loose anymore and will be okay if I gain a bit! I will up my fat intake and include all those recommendations. I will let you know how I get on! Hopefully pregnant soon!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh fabulous, in that case that's all just fine. Sorry, when I don't know for sure, I have to give advice that applies to the majority, but you're definitely in the minority who can be below BMI 21.

[StephBailey]

Thanks so much. I really appreciate your time and support! Hopefully eating breakfast and increasing my fat intake doesn’t affect my sway. I am already feeling so much better by increasing fat!

I am going to continue the following;
LE diet (making sure I am getting 50-60 fat daily and 1x form full fat dairy)
Continue 2x coffee a day, Diet Coke, 1x white whine daily
Walk 1x hour 5 x a week
1 x attempt on positive OPK
Only taking folic acid daily
I have decided to not worry about abstaining/ frequent release- hubby just going to do what he/ we normally do. Not worrying about PH.

Let me know if you think I should add anything else

[atomic sagebrush]

Sounds great to me! Keep up the good work!

[StephBailey]

I am currently day 23 of my cycle and 8 days post ovulation. Had my progesterone checked via a blood test on day 21- was normal. My GP said anything over 5 is normal and mine was 55! She said that was very high but nothing to be concerned about as there is a wide range of normal.

I have still had a very tiny amount of spotting after ovulation (on and off since 3 days post ovulation). Some days I don’t have any. Much less than last month and some days it will be a once off when I wipe and then nothing else.

I am still worried that all this trying is for nothing and I won’t get pregnant with this spotting. I am also worried that I am eating more ‘boyish’ than I was. I really hope this month is the month. I will take a test around 14 days post ovulation

I have been doing one attempt night of first positive OPK. Should I stick with this? We have been doing this for 4 months (1 month probably a write off as I missed a day testing LH and I missed it and we tried to late I think)

[atomic sagebrush]

If your progesterone is that high then spotting cannot stop you from conceiving. My guess is that the cause of the spotting is still working itself out and is probably just from a small spot or two, and maybe even from the cervix itself.

It sounds to me like you're still in the limits of LE Diet. You needed to eat more than you were because you were seeing negative effects. In order to get a girl, you need to be able to conceive!

Whether or not to continue with one attempt is at your discretion. Generally, at the 4-6 month mark I do like to see people start going to every 4 day method, preferably in the "72 hour" pattern (not those numbers of hours exactly, but that is how you count the days). But the timeline when you do that has to do with how big a hurry you're in to get pregnant. My preference is that after 3 months you guys go to e4d, but I understand some people don't want to do that and go more like 6. Just don't go on forever with just one attempt.

[StephBailey]

Thanks so much for your advice.

Great to hear that the spotting is not necessarily stopping me from getting pregnant. I think we will go to the e4d method (72hrs pattern) next month and see how we go! I would ideally like to get pregnant soon but want to keep swaying as much as I can. Is the 72hr pattern two attempts?

I don’t think I am pregnant this month. I am 11 days post ovulation- spotting has increased a bit and I feel like AF is about to start.

I will keep going with the following;
- 1 hour walk about 5-6x a week
- mainly vegetarian diet but having steak/ salmon 1-2x a week and full fat dairy every day (making sure fat is 50-60g and protein is 40-50g a day)
- eating around 1600 calories a day
- avoiding lots of no no foods (e.g oats)
- bd e4d (72hr) starting when AF ends
- still taking folic acid every day

[atomic sagebrush]

No, the 72 hour pattern is still one attempt. The reason for this is that we see VERY poor odds of conception any time before 3 days before ovulation - studies have found 1 in 1000 from sex 4 days before O, 1 in 10,000 5 days before O, and the odds of conception 6 days before O are basically nonexistent - and even 3 days before O are pretty low, especially with swaying...we regularly see people who are trying 3 day cutoffs going years, plural, without conceiving.

So because your attempts would end up in one of these three patterns:

O-4 (no chance) and O-1 (one attempt)
O-5 (no chance) and O-2 (one attempt)
or O-3 (slim) and O Day (better than O-3 but still not sky high chances.) But this is still not two attempts, because in the O-3 and O Day combination, if there's anything left from the O-3 attempt, it will have already fertilized the egg before the second batch shows up, and if there isn't the O Day shot will have a chance to get to the egg in time. Still one attempt.

Everything else is looking good, remember we don't want any more weight loss!

[StephBailey]

We did every 4 days this month using the 72hr pattern. I did an OPK anyway and the timing working out that we had a bd the next day. We continued with e4d anyway.

Had cramping 7 days post ovulation. Started to spot the next day and have spotted since. Today is 10 days post ovulation. I really thought this month was it with the cramping (implantation cramps?) because I usually don’t cramp after ovulation. But now I feel like I am just heading towards AF. Feeling like the spotting is getting slightly heavier and is red. I am feeling really down. I have stopped exercising the last week and just feeling frustrated and lazy. I just want to be pregnant and feel like I have jinxed myself with swaying. I am eating more and have put on a bit of weight so it isn’t that.

This is month 5 trying. Should I do another month of e4d?

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, cutting back too far takes time to fix. So even if you're eating more now, that doesn't mean the problem immediately goes away. It takes time to develop and time to repair the damage, so we can't assume that eating more and gaining a bit of weight has fixed the issue completely. It may just be you're having a short luteal phase this month because your cycle is still a bit off. Give it time and it will normalize again.

Don't worry about having low motivation at that point in the cycle. That's a notorious time for cheating and dropping back on exercise. Just pick it up again when you can.

But all that having been said, a lot of people do have spotting or even bleeding and are pregnant the entire time. I had a full 5 day "period" and had a baby 9 months later. While spotting and bleeding are never what we want to see of course, it's not always what people assume it is. I'd give it a couple days and take a pregnancy test just to see, based on those cramps it could be that you're newly pregnant.

Whether or not to go on with e4d or add an attempt is up to you. If you want a better chance of conception, add an attempt. If you want to stick with a higher chance of pink, stick with the e4d.

[StephBailey]

Thanks for you help. Sorry I was feeling super negative last night when I posted that!

I took a pregnancy test this morning (11dpo) and was negative. Bleeding has increase so I think it’s AF and maybe I have a short LP this month like you said. I did have what I thought was a period with my son but I was actually pregnant so I will test again in a few days time to rule it out.

Is there much difference in pink results with 1 vs 2 attempts? I do want to get pregnant fairly soon but I have come this far I don’t want to give up totally. Do you suggest having sex every 48hrs to add an attempt or keep going with 72hrs and add another attempt at positive OPK?

[Pcoop]

HI just wanted to jump in and thank you for your post. Lots of positive info on here. Although all I can say is you are lucky you can still try naturally. I had an embryo donation at 43 so our situations are really different.

[atomic sagebrush]

Not at all Steph, I'm happy to help and that part of the cycle is a notorious spot for people to feel really down even outside of swaying.

How did you determine ovulation?? Is there any way you ovulated sooner than you thought you did?

The difference between one and two attempts is small right now- but that may be because so many people who do nothing else to sway have only one attempt (thinking it's a magic bullet) and this may have artificially decreased the success rate compared to two attempts - most people who do two attempts have done diet and exercise too, making it possibly look more effective in comparison to one. Over the course of time, it's been as much as 10% difference between the two (60-65% for two, 70-75% for one) but both of them are still very solidly pink friendly particularly with diet and exercise.

I don't ever advise sex every 48 hours. It's too far apart to be increasing odds of conception for most people and yet it's too close together and men still find it stressful/depleting. I very much prefer you guys to do e4d plus one more attempt at positive OPK. That way you know you've had at least one ideally timed attempt plus the backup of the e4d whenever they fall. If you're scheduled to have them both on the same day, then have the extra attempt the next day or twice the same day, don't just rest with one attempt.

[StephBailey]

Thanks so much. I have been using LH strips to determine when I get my first positive OPK. Then I am assuming I am probably ovulating the next day but I know that’s no way to know for sure. I will try and upload some of my LH strips from the last few months.

I think we will add an attempt at positive OPK this next cycle sticking with the 72hr pattern. Great to know the statistics of adding an attempt with the diet and exercise are not too bad. I very consistently seem to get my first positive OPK on day 14 and usually get my period day 29

43770

[treens]

Best of luck to you!

I just thought i would ease your mind a little. I was doing LE not eating breakfast making sure to fast and night and not snack, having coffee and drinking 2-3 drinks every couple of days. We bedded cd 12,13,14 and i believe i ovulated cd13 and we got pregnant with a girl. we did have a loss but our sway did work. Not sure if it would work for you but i thought i would message.

[atomic sagebrush]

Steph, I can't see the OPK well enough to know for sure. Can you message me the pic at atomicsagebrush@gmail.com?

I want to rule out you ovulating sooner than you thought and that your LP was actually where it should be. Even if your cycle is very regular, this can happen where you ovulate early and then your period comes early.

But the solution to that is just e4d, and adding another attempt will help boost odds of conception. So either way, you got this.

[StephBailey]

Just sent you an email :)

Thanks Atomic

[StephBailey]

Thanks so much- that does make me feel better!

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Wishing you lots of pink dust for your sway xx

[atomic sagebrush]

Ok I've had a look and I do agree that you likely ovulated when you thought you did. Just a bit of a short LP this month.

[StephBailey]

Hi Atomic,

Thanks for your advice on the LH tests.

I just got my BFP today at 12 dpo!!! I am so so happy and feel so grateful.

I was still following the upper limits of the low everything diet. BD every 72hr pattern but added an extra attempt at + OPK. We shall see what happens! I feel very blessed either way

Thanks again for you help

[treens]

I am so happy for you! Wishing you the little girl of your dreams! Keep us updated :)))

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh fantastic, that's great news!!!!

[StephBailey]

Hi Atomic,

I am starting to freak out a bit. I am sure everyone who sways maybe has a moment like this! I am starting to obsess over my sway. Feel really nervous about the two attempts. But I was having so much spotting and short cycles, had been trying for 6months I knew for my sanity I needed to just get pregnant! Our attempts were likely- I believe I ovulated on the 12th and we bd’d night of 10th and 11th and morning of 13th (husband had to leave for work trip after that). So the 10th and 13th were our every 4days and the extra was on positive OPK on the 11th. I got my positive OPK on morning of 11th. Is that definitely two attempts? Now I am freaking out about doing the morning of the 13th.

[atomic sagebrush]

If you ovulated on the 12, that's only 2 attempts. The 13th would have been too late!

[StephBailey]

Thank you! Hoping all of the girl friendly things will increase my chances! Feeling very anxious

[atomic sagebrush]

It's totally normal to feel like that - just hang in there, we all had those moments!

[StephBailey]

Hello Atomic,

NIPT confirmed we are having a baby girl!!! I am in shock! I am so excited and happy.

Thank you for all of your help. Can’t wait to meet my little girl 🌸🩷💕

[treens]

Congratulations! I am so very happy for you!

[LMSM]

Congrats on your little girl :love:

[Pcoop]

Congratulations on your baby girl! I hope you have a healthy pregnancy all throughout the nine months!

[atomic sagebrush]

Aaaa fantastic news Steph!!! :cheer: :cheer: :cheer:

[StephBailey]

Thanks so much 🩷 I am over 12 weeks now and baby girl is looking great at scans, low risk on NIPT too!

I found the statistics sheet and entered my sway details. Is there anything else I should do to help you record the sway?

[atomic sagebrush]

I added it to our 2023 list!! Thank you so much for adding your stats, it's so helpful! Wishing you every joy with your little girl!