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atomic sagebrush
February 29th, 2012, 08:04 PM
Edited and updated 12-8-17

PLEASE DO NOT DO ABSTAIN IF YOUR HUSBAND IS OVER 35.

Why?

There are really three separate variables in the equation - abstinence makes worse sperm (fact), older men's sperm is worse to begin with (fact), and older men father more children with birth defects and serious disorders like autism and schizophrenia to begin with (fact).

Net result : abstain + older dads = too risky for my liking. The older he is, the riskier it gets.

Please note, there are other things that can damage sperm and sperm DNA besides age, so if your husband has been diagnosed with poor sperm quality to begin with, drinks alcohol/smokes either reg. or special cigarettes, is obese, works around industrial chemicals/electromagnetic fields/nuclear energy, jogs a lot or bikes a lot, is a deep sea diver/anesthetist/radiologist/fighter pilot, takes drugs either recreationally or for medical purposes, or anything else going on that has you concerned about his sperm quality, you may want to consider choosing either FR or regular release instead of abstain even if he is less than 35. All those things are known to damage sperm.

Many people have believed that if their husband doesn't do anything that harms sperm health and he's in good overall condition, that it is ok for him to do abstain even if he is over 35. This is not the case. The issue with age and sperm health is not a man's overall health, it is the number of times his DNA has divided over the course of his life. Tiny errors in DNA replication sneak in over the course of time. The older a man gets, the more opportunities for DNA errors to accumulate. No matter how healthy a husband is, abstain is not a good idea, and the further beyond 35 he is, the more important it is that he avoid this tactic like the plague.

Abstain has not been getting stellar results for us anyway (worse than the overall stats of the site) and it is not worth any level of risk. Don't take chances for something that doesn't even work!!

:baby:Articles/studies that indicate abstinence makes poor sperm (the articles are actually talking about the studies, so I am posting them because I find the articles easier to understand for the layman, often have quotes and further information from the researchers themselves, and also because so many studies are impossible to find the full text of.)

Abstinence 'reduces sperm strength' - Telegraph (http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/4196560/Abstinence-reduces-sperm-strength.html)
Will Abstaining From Having Sex Help Improve Sperm Count? (http://www.babyhopes.com/articles/abstaining.html) (also explains why FR makes fewer but better sperm)
Abstinence Reduces Sperm Viability in Infertile Men[/url] (states very clearly that long abstain is not recommended for any man, even with normal sperm count so when people on other swaying sites suggest abstaining longer than 14 days, beware.)
Relationship between the duration of sexual ab... [Fertil Steril. 2005] - PubMed - NCBI (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15950636) (this is the abstract on the study itself)
Semen analysis in fertile patients undergoin... [Sao Paulo Med J. 2005] - PubMed - NCBI (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/16389413) (abstinence causes reduced sperm motility)
Effect of long abstinen... [Int J Fertil Menopausal Stud. 1994 Sep-Oct] - PubMed - NCBI (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/7820161) (abstinence means more old sperm - senesence means "old age" aka senile!)
Influence of the abstinence period on human sp... [Fertil Steril. 2004] - PubMed - NCBI (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15236990) (this shows abstains less than a week are ok but very small number of subjects)
Influence of a short or long abstinence period... [Fertil Steril. 2001] - PubMed - NCBI (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11532469) (abstinence may even make sperm count go UP!)

:baby:Articles/studies that indicate older men have more genetic damage to sperm and/or lower sperm quality to begin with:

Male Fertility and Age – Does Age Affect Male Fertility (http://infertility.about.com/od/causesofinfertility/f/maleagefertile.htm)
Advancing age has differential effects on DNA damage, chromatin integrity, gene mutations, and aneuploidies in sperm (http://www.pnas.org/content/103/25/9601)
Relationship between age and semen parameters in ... [Andrologia. 2007] - PubMed - NCBI (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17430422)
Older Men's Sperm Raise Risk Of Genetic Problems In Offspring (http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/44641.php)
Older fathers run higher risk of fetal defects - 28 February 2002 - New Scientist (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn1989-older-fathers-run-higher-risk-of-fetal-defects.html)

:baby: Articles/studies that show the offspring of older dads have more birth defects and other disorders including autism, bipolar, Down Syndrome, schizophrenia, cleft palate, dwarfism, Turner Syndrome, Kleinfelter Syndrome

(Atomic's editorial note - the sample size in some of these studies are HUGE, tens and even hundreds of thousands of subjects over many years and from many different countries - these risks are real and everyone should take them very seriously. It makes me not know whether to laugh or cry that some sway sites tell everyone to do O+12 based on a sample size of 33 (only 2 of whom DTD on O+12) and then belittle the risks of abstaining for older men abstinence=damaged sperm??? - In-Gender.com (http://www.in-gender.com/cs/forums/t/114759.aspx)) And just to further expand upon this, Tamara is giving an inexcusable amount of misinformation in this thread. You cannot see DNA damage through a microscope, period, end of story. Here is a link that describes how complicated it is to test sperm's DNA. http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1110569013000137 NOTE - they don't do it by looking for "black sperm" on a toy microscope. And if I sound ticked off about this, I am, because one of the women in this thread actually DID have a baby with a serious genetic health condition.

Advancing age has differential effects on DNA damage, chromatin integrity, gene mutations, and aneuploidies in sperm (http://www.pnas.org/content/103/25/9601)
Male biological clock possibly linked to autism, other disorders : Article : Nature Medicine (http://www.nature.com/nm/journal/v14/n11/full/nm1108-1170a.html)
Risk of autism spikes for children of older men (http://sfari.org/news-and-opinion/news/2011/risk-of-autism-spikes-for-children-of-older-men)
Older Fathers, Lower IQ in Kids? (http://www.webmd.com/baby/news/20090309/older-fathers-lower-iq-in-kids)
Schizophrenia.com - Schizophrenia Cause, Father's Age (http://www.schizophrenia.com/prevention/older.htm)
More bad news for the children of older fathers | Psychology Today (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/about-fathers/200903/more-bad-news-the-children-older-fathers)
Older fathers run higher risk of fetal defects - 28 February 2002 - New Scientist (http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn1989-older-fathers-run-higher-risk-of-fetal-defects.html)

Paternal Age Effect: How Old is Too Old?: June 2010 (http://how-old-is-too-old.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html) (this appears to be an entire BLOG about the risks of older parenthood)

:baby: Aside from all this - abstain has not even worked for us!!! Why would you incur any level of risk for a sway tactic that actually is getting LOWER than our overall success rates of the site!!! DON'T do it!! It just isn't worth any risk for something that doesn't even help one bit.

:baby:And one final note - older men may have higher odds of conceiving a girl ANYWAY so why would you up your already higher risks doing abstain?? :think:

Why Are Older Parents More Likely to Have Daughters? | Psychology Today (http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-scientific-fundamentalist/201104/why-are-older-parents-more-likely-have-daughters)

coocoobananas
February 29th, 2012, 08:38 PM
So since abstaining is in my Plan should I be worried seeing my husband is going to be 34 this year, right on the cusp? He was quite dissapointed we were going the abstinence route over fr ESP because he thought I would be assisting him, lol!

atomic sagebrush
February 29th, 2012, 09:45 PM
It's not like flipping a switch where one day you're ok and the next you'll have dire consequences, it's that there is a gradual accumulation of DNA damage over time just as a consequence of being alive and the older you are, the greater the odds that damage will have accumulated.

There are guys who father perfect babies at 70 years old and guys who father a child with birth defects at 21, KWIM? It's jsut that statistically at a certain age, the odds start to go up beyond what I would feel comfortable doing abstain with. It's up to each individual couple to assess the risks and decide what they want to do. :)

If you want to change the plan, I can do that, just let me know!

threelittlebears
February 29th, 2012, 10:42 PM
Hi atomic, just wondering how long of an abstinence would you consider too long for a 40yr old male? Our attempt is coming up and whilst DH has a high sex drive, he has never been into FR on his own which is why I was considering an abstinence of 7 days then BD the day before O day or even just 1 attempt at my first positive OPK. Should we cut the abstinence to 5 days or is this still too long?

My only other option is frequent BD through ovulation. Is this a viable option to sway girl? If so, how many days prior to O would we start to BD and how often?

Thankyou for adding this thread with all the info....I think it's a really important factor to consider for us older couples beacuse at the end of the day we all want healthy babies on this site!!

PeonyPrincess
February 29th, 2012, 10:51 PM
My DH is 37, 38 this year. We basically do everything to get healthy sperm out of him as he drinks alcohol regularly and works at a uranium mine! I would much prefer another healthy boy to a sick girl at the end of the day. Thanks for the reports AS.

rainbowflower
March 1st, 2012, 02:24 AM
these should go in the complete-study thread too

atomic sagebrush
March 2nd, 2012, 01:01 PM
Hi atomic, just wondering how long of an abstinence would you consider too long for a 40yr old male? Our attempt is coming up and whilst DH has a high sex drive, he has never been into FR on his own which is why I was considering an abstinence of 7 days then BD the day before O day or even just 1 attempt at my first positive OPK. Should we cut the abstinence to 5 days or is this still too long?

My only other option is frequent BD through ovulation. Is this a viable option to sway girl? If so, how many days prior to O would we start to BD and how often?

Thankyou for adding this thread with all the info....I think it's a really important factor to consider for us older couples beacuse at the end of the day we all want healthy babies on this site!!

I would personally not recommend abstain of 7 days for a 40 year old. 5 days is prob ok but it doesn't sway pink.

FR or compressed FR are both options and you can read all about them here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/5636-frequency-bd-pink-blue.html

atomic sagebrush
March 2nd, 2012, 01:02 PM
My DH is 37, 38 this year. We basically do everything to get healthy sperm out of him as he drinks alcohol regularly and works at a uranium mine! I would much prefer another healthy boy to a sick girl at the end of the day. Thanks for the reports AS.

I totally agree Peony! That was my philosophy going into getting pg with DS 3 and 4 - my husband drinks beer and welds all day long - I wanted the healthiest sperm I could get my eggs on!

NeedAGirl!
March 5th, 2012, 12:18 AM
I agree with your findings but want to clarify..

I get that abstain reduces sperm quality and number so decreases fertility.. and maybe that if quality is reduced one could extrapolate that it might increase a risk of birth defects.

and that old guys have babies with more birth defects...

but is there any data that directly links abstaining to birth defects?

I mean, I get that anything that reduces sperm quality would potentially not be good for guys who already have a higher risk but I wonder if those sperm would even make it to the egg. Who knows, right?

I have just seen a lot of swayers say (not you but others) "abstaining causes an increase in birth defects in men over 35" but do we have any data that actually shows that is true? Yes, they have an increased risk anyway because they are old but do men who abstain have more birth defects than similar aged men who don't? Is there any data about that? Is it just theoretical extrapolation that worse quality sperm will increase risk? Unfortunately, I can't make DH any younger! LOL!

Lassie1982
March 5th, 2012, 07:11 AM
Thanks Atomic!
Awesome collection of information there - will be sharing it DH as he is curious to learn more
Up till now the conversation has been:
DH 'exactly how is w*****g every day going to help?!?'
Me: for your sperm count, lowering it sway pink
DH: cant i abstain to achieve the same thing?
Me: No
DH: but why?!?
Me: Because Atomic on my special website said so
DH *walks away mumbling* Ok, fine, whatever atomic said.


(though he isnt going to like all the times the word 'old' is mentioned, he is a bit precious about his age LOL)

atomic sagebrush
March 5th, 2012, 12:50 PM
I agree with your findings but want to clarify..

I get that abstain reduces sperm quality and number so decreases fertility.. and maybe that if quality is reduced one could extrapolate that it might increase a risk of birth defects.

and that old guys have babies with more birth defects...

but is there any data that directly links abstaining to birth defects?

I mean, I get that anything that reduces sperm quality would potentially not be good for guys who already have a higher risk but I wonder if those sperm would even make it to the egg. Who knows, right?

I have just seen a lot of swayers say (not you but others) "abstaining causes an increase in birth defects in men over 35" but do we have any data that actually shows that is true? Yes, they have an increased risk anyway because they are old but do men who abstain have more birth defects than similar aged men who don't? Is there any data about that? Is it just theoretical extrapolation that worse quality sperm will increase risk? Unfortunately, I can't make DH any younger! LOL!

There is and we all read it on IG and discussed it at great length - I remember it with crystal clarity when it came out, talked about it in my blog, and I believe it was in 2008. It was on Google Health and several major newspapers and magazines anbd at the time got a ton of attention because a lot of RE's were telling people to abstain before going HT. The thread was deleted off of IG for some reason, and now I cannot find the articles in subsequent searches. I think the articles were in reference to one of the studies I posted anyway.

I also have this old study which I didn't post because I don't like posting anything this old and the full text is not available, but it found a link between rhythm birth control methods (which involve long abstinence) and an increased risk of birth defects http://www.contraceptionjournal.org/article/S0010-7824%2884%2980022-0/abstract

NeedAGirl!
March 5th, 2012, 01:59 PM
Great. THanks. I will look for them too when I find a moment..

n710
May 18th, 2012, 04:43 PM
AS can this be a sticky somewhere (or maybe it is already)-great collection of articles

zanacal
May 19th, 2012, 09:41 AM
Done :D

atomic sagebrush
May 20th, 2012, 01:10 PM
Thanks Z!!

cravingsalt
June 4th, 2012, 05:22 PM
Okay, mind's made up. My oldest has been diagnosed (and undiagnosed and diagnosed again) as autistic. Trying to take out as many of the

atomic sagebrush
June 5th, 2012, 01:13 PM
I'm glad it was helpful to you! :)

Mama
August 15th, 2012, 02:12 AM
Thanks! I hadn't even though about hubby's age. We were planning on FR already.

Bigwish
January 16th, 2013, 07:40 AM
Wow, what fantastic information, Atomic. But now i'm wondering what to do.
When we conceived ds1 and ds2 my 'almost' DH was 28 and 30, respectively. Both sons we conceived first time trying (ds1 was just one attempt) as an indicator of our fertility. We will ttc pink from september/october this year. Some things changed, somethings are the same for my DH.
Same: amount of alcohol, around 2 consumptions a day, profession (real estate agent)
Changes: he's on metoprolol due to high blood pressure, he rides bike (race bike) and in summer this will be at least 2 times a week for at least 1,5 hours, he's 33 then, he FINALLY wears tighter boxer shorts although not to tight (because i hate those fluffy ones, lol)

Should you recommend abstaining or fr? Once i know what form for us is best i'll figure out exactly how to do it.
Thanks a lot in advance!

atomic sagebrush
January 16th, 2013, 03:27 PM
If he is on blood pressure medication I would not do abstain.

Bigwish
January 16th, 2013, 03:52 PM
If he is on blood pressure medication I would not do abstain.


Ok. What exactly makes you say not to do abstain? If i know the reason i can judge by the time we ttc (cause maybe he's not on it anymore by september) which way works best for us.

atomic sagebrush
January 20th, 2013, 11:11 PM
Ok. What exactly makes you say not to do abstain? If i know the reason i can judge by the time we ttc (cause maybe he's not on it anymore by september) which way works best for us.

Because blood pressure medication harms sperm to such an extent that adding abstain may be too much and also may raise risks of birth defects.

1+2+3boys
November 30th, 2013, 01:50 AM
What if a man (my partner, lol) is 41 who smokes and drinks everyday and has still conceived 6 healthy sons very easily. Could that mean he just happens to have good quality sperm or a high count or has he just been lucky? I was thinking abstain would be the way to go because FR might be too hard to achieve with 3 boys who are great at getting in the way of our sex lives. Arent men with high sperm counts supposed to release more often to lower their count since it repleneshes more quickly?
Not sure what to do on this one

atomic sagebrush
December 1st, 2013, 01:23 PM
Sperm get unhealthier due to age and it has nothing to do with past history, it's a function of how sperm are formed - they are copies of copies of copies and tiny errors creep in slowly over the course of time. I would not ever recommend abstain to a 41 year old and esp. not a smoker.

What I would do instead, is consider reg. release + one attempt, have him release every 2-4 days and then have one attempt at pos OPK OR you could do a hurry up FR along with that - so reg. release every 2-4 days, and then on day of planned attempt, have him release once, dump it, then DTD again as soon as he's able using only the second batch for insemination.

1+2+3boys
December 4th, 2013, 07:51 PM
Thanks :) Still a while until we TTC so he would be 42. I am sure I will ask again closer to the time!

motherofboys
January 15th, 2014, 04:54 PM
My hubby is 45, I've never considered how long we would go between and what effect it could have. There is so much more than I realised to this!

atomic sagebrush
January 17th, 2014, 01:00 PM
some believe I am overly cautious, but I just want you guys to know my concerns and the reasons that I have them, and then the decisions are yours to make, if you think the results are worth the risk. But as of Oct. 3 2013 abstain only got 58% success for pink anyway and to my way of thinking, I would not take the chance for something that isn't getting "home-run" type results anyway.

Annie82
September 8th, 2014, 06:38 AM
Because blood pressure medication harms sperm to such an extent that adding abstain may be too much and also may raise risks of birth defects.

Hi Atomic,
Does that mean if DH is on blood pressure meds, it sways girl? or just increased risk of defects?
thanks

atomic sagebrush
September 8th, 2014, 05:31 PM
I believe it sways pink as well. :) Remember, even if you've gotten boys with something before, it doesn't mean it doesn't sway pink for you. Going from 80% likely to TTC a boy, to 70% likely to TTC a boy, is still a strong pink sway but will still yield an awful lot of little dudes.

Princess Mom
December 18th, 2014, 05:31 PM
My husband will be 39 next week but I'm 27 I get pregnant quickly, and now I'm thinking if I didn't get pregnant this month. We can't do abstaining but would have to do frequency? I think abstaining would be better but now I'm unsure

atomic sagebrush
December 21st, 2014, 04:17 PM
It does not matter how old YOU are. This is about your husband's age and the amount of times his cells have divided since he was born.

You don't have to do frequency, necessarily. I don't think any of the frequency patterns have gotten good enough results to justify the trouble they cause and I would LOVE it if everyone dropped them (and you can take my word on this - I INVENTED FREQUENCY! It doesn't work, ladies. It was my idea, it sucks, didn't work, time to move on, y'all.)

Princess Mom
January 7th, 2015, 12:55 PM
Well I am no pregnant and we DTD on cd 12 in the morning, and I forgot we DTD on cd 10 but had to stop, I wasn't planning on becoming pregnant this month. But DH said he "did this thing" right after we stopped. So now I feel like I have messed up, by not abstaining for 7 days. I guess only time will tell. I ovulared on cd 14

atomic sagebrush
January 7th, 2015, 01:01 PM
Abstain isn't getting great results anyway. One attempt is getting much better results. :)

Princess Mom
January 7th, 2015, 04:05 PM
Woops meant I AM pregnant. We DTD cd 10 also but stopped, and I thought DH didn't "do his thing" but he said he did, now I am worried that having sex on cd 10 an then we did it cd 12 in the morning, with a 2.5 day cut off, is more boy zone. We usually don't have sex much with 3 kiddos running around. Hoping this is our girl, this is our last chance to give my DD a sister. I ovulated CD 14

atomic sagebrush
January 9th, 2015, 02:03 PM
FXFXFX and pink dust!! :)

atomic sagebrush
July 11th, 2015, 03:13 PM
bumping this updated thread

Atsaukina1
July 11th, 2015, 03:49 PM
Dh has a sister w downs. Mother was young in 20s, father in his 40s. Dh is 38, healthy but no abstain for us(doing j&d). Thanks for bumping this info because I see a lot of swayers on here doing abstain.

BellaVita
July 11th, 2015, 05:00 PM
Hope someone can dumb this down for me because the abstaining thing confuses the heck out of me! So is abstaining not recommended now even if dh is under 35? When we make our attempt on Wednesday, that'll put us at an 11 day abstain, which I thought was good. Dh is also taking OLE and LR. Does this mean we can have protected sex up until our attempt and it won't make sperm count higher?

atomic sagebrush
July 14th, 2015, 11:12 AM
Anyone whose husband may have crap sperm health or quality for ANY reason should not do abstain (and never should, that is not new at all)

If your husband is under 35 an abstain is fine. We honestly do not have the data to know if abstain is helping or hurting a sway, because the group of couples who do abstain (and perhaps more importantly, who get pregnant doing abstain) are typically younger and get pregnant more easily and it is not a random sampling to compare. It may be that higher fertility sways blue and abstain does help some. But I can tell you, it's not helping much simply because if it were, it would not be LOWER than the overall stats of the site. To me, that indicates neutral. IT's still better than 50-50, not seemingly swaying blue, but if it were really bringing the heat it would be BETTER than the overall stats of the site.

WE don't even KNOW that higher sperm count sways blue. It was a theory, as all these things are theories, and I hate to see you guys getting so hung up pursuing totally unproven theories that you end up missing the larger trends - namely that one attempt is swaying strongly pink. A lot of the frequency stuff was traditionally done with one attempt, so if it's been one attempt all along, it is entirely possible that it was never sperm count or frequency (or at least not my much) and that it may be better to up odds of conception with one attempt by dropping frequency.

atomic sagebrush
July 14th, 2015, 11:17 AM
And just to reiterate that which I posted earlier in the thread, the risks of abstain even for a guy in his 40's-50's is probably very slim. But WHY should we take the chance for something that firstly is not any kind of guarantee because swaying is NEVER a guarantee, and secondly is not getting home run type of results anyway?? I only take risks on things that WORK. Not things that don't.

BellaVita
July 14th, 2015, 11:55 AM
Super duper big thanks for breaking it down. You always explain everything in great detail. I read and think, "that makes perfect sense", ha.

Throwaway_panther
January 23rd, 2016, 03:14 PM
Oh gosh, my husband will be 35 when our daughter is born in June, and will be 36 or 37 when we try to conceive our next baby (I will be 27 or 28), ideally a boy. He has markers for high testosterone already (tall, bald, athletic, bearded, hairy chest, more muscle tone, aggressive, competitive, occasional acne still, NO trouble with libido lolol). We conceived immediately upon trying, as well.

I think the markers against this being easier are: he could masturbate multiple times every day if he could (AND he used to). He likes his alcohol!

Should I be terribly worried about his age and conceiving a boy?! Nervous now to try for a boy sooner rather than later, but then I know breastfeeding/being close to just having a girl could sway pink!

atomic sagebrush
January 23rd, 2016, 04:21 PM
NO not at all. Seriously, the risks are minimal and they only just BARELY start to rise at 35.

My husband gave me 2 boys one at 37 and one at 40. We have TONS of guys on here who have made small blue armies over 35. Jeff Goldblum just had a son at 63 years old!!

Cc5025
September 27th, 2017, 01:14 PM
Hi 👋🏻 this is my first post on the forum, I have 2 children, 1 girl 1 boy and swayed to conceive my son 8 years ago! Things have changed in swaying so much since I did it then to the point that my mind is boggled! My husband is 35 and we would like to sway baby blue again... when talking about risks of abstaining is this in reference to reaching O day? He previously abstained 3 days and we were thinking to try the same..is this meaning 3 days is too long to wait due to the sperm quality? Or is it more a risk for people attempting to abstain longer ?


Confused.com ..sorry x

M
NO not at all. Seriously, the risks are minimal and they only just BARELY start to rise at 35.

My husband gave me 2 boys one at 37 and one at 40. We have TONS of guys on here who have made small blue armies over 35. Jeff Goldblum just had a son at 63 years old!!

atomic sagebrush
September 27th, 2017, 01:21 PM
On other sites people were abstaining from 7-10 days all the way up to MONTHS at a time. I cannot and do not recommend that for any man over 35. But 3 days abstain is NOT abstain in the way we use it as a swaying term and 3 days of abstain is actually right in the wheelhouse for what I recommend for blue swayers - releasing every 2-4 days. :)

Cc5025
September 27th, 2017, 04:09 PM
Wow I didn't know people abstain for so long!! Thank you for your reply, I am trying to read as much as I can without having to ask questions about everything. Previously I used ingender for my sway following shettles but it's changed so much on there now that I really don't think I can sway to the extremes that they do there and so much in it that I don't feel comfortable with (such as BS douche etc). Reading on your sway it's much closer to what I did before except the recommended 3 times BD on positive O😊 x

atomic sagebrush
September 28th, 2017, 04:09 PM
People get desperate and then some really strange things seem like good ideas, and putting a lot of desperate people together in the same site seems to make them go more and more and more extreme. We're glad you found us instead. :)

I would probably use Robitussin/Mucinex (guanefesin) to be sure you have a nice amount of EWCM and if you don't, you can use a little Preseed. No baking soda, no egg white!

atomic sagebrush
December 8th, 2017, 07:22 PM
just updated this!!

regardless of what you read on other sites, abstain is just not worth the risk for couples over 35.

Naiad
April 12th, 2023, 03:48 AM
Sorry to hijack this older thread. I wasn't sure whether to open a new one.

My husband will be 41/42 around the time of swaying girl and I'll be 30/31 myself. Would you say a 5-day abstain is best, since 7+ days doesn't seem suitable with his age? Or would you recommend something altogether different?

One thing to note is that my husband is NOT good at frequent release. He usually can only do 2 days in a row releasing on each day. Any more than that and he often can't ejaculate altogether... But that would sway blue. With this in mind, what would you recommend? For what it's worth, we've never had issues conceiving before, even with one attempt before O. (But the last pregnancies were from 2021.)

If we conceived without trying, it would probably be something like CD6/7/8 and then again CD13/14/15 (roughly). This is just the rhythm we've fallen into since #2 arrived. We hardly do it more than once a week, but it sounds like that's not enough releasing for his sperm to be healthy?

Thank you. :)

atomic sagebrush
April 12th, 2023, 08:22 PM
I would just have him do regular release every 2-4 days and then keep the one attempt. Neither abstain nor FR have worked and both really cut odds of conception, and we've had a lot of luck having husbands do regular release and then the couple trying one attempt.

And then don't sweat it too much, if you occasionally go to 5 days between, just don't let it go longer.

atomic sagebrush
April 12th, 2023, 08:23 PM
And never worry about starting a new thread OR keeping an old one going. I love to keep old threads going so we have these really informational threads for people to read, but you guys never need to go looking for threads to post in, it's fine to just post a new thread and I can always direct you. There's a lot of info on here and we just roll with it no matter what. :)

Naiad
April 13th, 2023, 04:15 AM
Thank you!! I was thinking that might be best. :) That's what we did with our other pregnancies, except with the boys we had two attempts in the fertile window, on consecutive days. Definitely doing 1 BD only here... :cool: