Starting to freak out....

[Hobbermittens]

I am almost 11 weeks, and I am starting to have second thoughts on this pregnancy (I know it is a little too late to change my mind!). And it isn't that I don't want the baby. I am just nervous that we have bitten off more than we can chew. DH has been out of work for a month now (he is a carpenter, waiting on some houses to come through). We are behind on all the bills and struggling, and it is making me realize a 4th child might really put us over the edge!!

Can someone tell me how much harder financially 4 kids is than 3? We have clothes, we have all the baby gear, etc. I am more worried about the future--like when we have to pay for lessons, food, etc when everyone is bigger. :worry: We already don't go on vacations much, and we try to do fun stuff that is free (camping, sledding, going to the park, etc).

Those of you with 4 or more, how do you make it work?

[Journey2dFuture]

Girl - relax, You wouldn't of been blessed if you were fit or ready to handle another child. You and your family will do just fine. *hugs*

[Hobbermittens]

Thanks WD. :) I hope that you're right.

[Mochagirl]

I worry a lot too. DH has a good job, but we're drowning in debt and I worry all the time that we've just made things even worse. We don't go on vacations either, but i'd like to be able to pay for our kids' university educations someday, and I worry we'll never be able to do that.

[auroara78]

Same here, husband is a SAHD, but I worry about money. We spent too much on our credit card recently thinking we'd get a big tax return as always and the amount of our tax return is going to be 1/3 of what we ususally get back, so we are really feeling the bite. We are already very tightly budgeted as is.

Sorry that is not advice on what you wanted though :(

I would love to hear some thoughts on how ppl with 4+ kids make it work money-wise!

[Princess of Pink]

It just always seems to work out....you become good at buying the kids clothes on sale only and get like a third sense to find bargains! You learn how to cook great meals that don't cost a lot and even have leftovers. You sacrifice things for yourself so that your kids have everything...and they pay you back with unconditional love and beautiful memories...I wouldn't change it for the world!

[Foxy]

It just always seems to work out....you become good at buying the kids clothes on sale only and get like a third sense to find bargains! You learn how to cook great meals that don't cost a lot and even have leftovers. You sacrifice things for yourself so that your kids have everything...and they pay you back with unconditional love and beautiful memories...I wouldn't change it for the world!

Soooooo true! Things always have a way of working out. xx

[PeonyPrincess]

I only have 2 obviously, but I was the youngest of 4. My parents were very careful with money. They were both teachers (Dad a principal) so neither were on a massive income and my mum mostly stayed at home and did occasional relief teaching. Takeaway was a couple of times a year. Mum made simple home cooked meals and always made food for the lunchboxes rather than pre-packaged food or bought lunches. Mum cut our hair until we were older and made some of our clothes. We always got presents for birthdays and Christmas but it was kept to a couple of things and they were inexpensive. I still struggle with the sheer quantity of the toys my own boys have. It is crazy. And they were very good at still taking us on holidays because they somehow budgeted that in, however we would stay with other people or in youth hostels, or camp. Not in fancy hotels like I am used to these days.

Money is one of the biggest stresses we face and a big cause of problems in a relationship. I do think that things have a way of working out. But having a budget, and short, medium and long term goals really help to keep the focus on making it go as far as possible.

[Hobbermittens]

Thanks everyone. I appreciate your responses. I already do a lot of that stuff-- we rarely eat out, we make our kids' lunches, and I haven't gone clothes shopping for myself in years... I just am not sure we can cut more corners. I know once the kids are all in school, I can get a full-time job again, and that will help. I Wish it were cheaper to raise children! That is honestly the only thing I worry about. I know there is enough room in our house (everyone has to double up, but big deal), and there is plenty of love to go around. :heart:

[nuthinbutpink]

My kids aren't big eaters. Tonight, I made 4 chicken breasts. DH had one, I had one and the 3 girls shared one. DS had a couple pieces of mine. Veggie and potatoes. The whole meal wasn't that expensive.

The area people seem to spend a lot on are drinks- juice boxes, soda, etc. totally unnecessary. Cutting those out when you could go through tons in a week saves a lot.

You can make iced tea, water and make a gallon on lemonade at a time. Much cheaper.

College is. Big expense and very difficult to save for. Getting a job can help with that. I don't think you can cut back and save for 4 kids for college.

I don't buy tons of clothes or shoes for them anymore. It's just not necessary.

Popcorn we make in an oil popper is a very cheap snack!

Groceries are the biggest expense right now and the continue to go up. Planning ahead helps.

[atomic sagebrush]

It is MUCH harder financially than I thought it was going to be. It's the little things like health ins and diapers and stuff like that because I literally spend no money on anything kid related.

We could never afford lessons with my two older boys and weirdly, they both learned to do some pretty awesome stuff on their own so that's actually less important than you might think. Also, if you do public school they offer tons of stuff thru the school (we homeschooled so didn't use as much of those resources as we might have - that's one thing I am def. doing differently this time thru.) I did BF for a really long time so I felt like that helped.

What's a vacation?? ;) We go to my inlaws house or "camping" at our house site!

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh and I wanted to let everyone know - about college, my oldest son has been paying his own way thru and making almost straight 4.0 so far. No student loans or anything. I think he takes it a lot more seriously than some kids who get free rides.

[PeonyPrincess]

Yes AS, I think it is good for children to have that responsibility so they really appreciate it. Same with saving up to buy a car. My parents couldn't afford to put 4 children through university, but we all went. We used a system which allows you to pay off your university fees once you have a job and are earning money. The repayments are adjusted according to how much you earn. Within a few years I was debt free. It totally took the stress out of it. I wish more countries did the same thing.

[Hobbermittens]

Yeah, I am not even thinking about saving for their college. That isn't going to happen. We can't save anything. I don't know if it really helps to pay for it for them anyway--I hate the idea that they will have debt, but I think like others have said, people take their education more seriously when they are paying for it. I know I did.

Atomic--where we live, there is a really great health insurance plan for kids that is free, and for a family of 5, the income cap is 65K! We have never made that much, ever. That may sound like we are paupers, but we have survived just fine on my DH's income so far until the economy took a turn. Anyway, check into that if you are interested. I am not sure what it would be called in your state, but it is Blue Cross Blue Shield.

[atomic sagebrush]

Haha no, that does not sound like a pauper to me! I think we have something similar here but we haven't used it before because DH insurance was really good at first and affordable. It just kinda sneaked up on us because they are GUTTING our insurance, the monthly cost and co-pays keep going up and up and the benefits are going way down. >:(

[Kitten]

HM- don't have 4 kids but just wanted to say that I'm confident that you guys will be fine. I always think people do it all the time with a lot less. I'm sure you guys will manage.