1 or 2 attempts after abstain?

[_Lala_]

Hi ladies, after some advice please. My DP is abstaining and my original plan was to dtd approx 24-30 hours a pos opk with only the one attempt. However I do really want to get pg this cycle, I want a 2012 baby, so I am wondering whether to do a second attempt almost immediately after my first attempt. Would the sperm count still be relative low because it wouldn't have had time to replenish? Or would it be too risky to have another batch of sperm up there?I really want to get pg this cycle but don't want to do anything to jeopardise my chances of having a girl.
Also wondering if it's better to dtd not on day of ov but with a cut off instead, so perhaps only 12 hours after a pos opk instead of 24-30 hours as was my original plan?
I got a fade in this morning on my FR opk so time is of the essence! I would appreciate any input. Thanks

[coocoobananas]

We will be doing one attempt evening of + opk. I too am wondering about a 2nd attempt as I fear with all the lowering fertility/ sperm tactics there won't actuall be anything there to go up and I too want to get pregnant this cycle since this diet isnt something I want to continue! I think I may hold off the j and d to give them a bit of a chance but the 2nd attempt scares me! I mean doesnt it defeat the purpose of abstinence?!? I just don't want be wondering "what if" I did one more attempt than I may have gotten pregnant! Sorry probably not much help, just rambling lol!!

[rainbowflower]

if doing abstain, I'd try and stick to one attempt - if you do choose to do more than one, release and discard a couple of times after your first attempt to clear out most of the "fresh" ones that are waiting

we aimed to DTD 3 times within 24hrs following a peak on CBFM (pos OPK), and did manage that.. but I think next time I'd go to one attempt if we get an opposite this time

[nks798]

we are doing abstain.. with 2 attemps. I talked to atomic and bc we do want to get pregnant sooner, we are going to dtd night of pos opk.. which could be tonight (got a good test line last night but it wasn't there yet.. thinking today maybe? will test after work). anyway, dtd night of +opk, possibly release AND dump if DH is up for it that same night after dtd.. release and dump the next morning and dtd the next night!

[NeedAGirl!]

First 2 mo had 1 attempt each month, both 2 days before O. Mo 3 was crazy so had several attempts and stil got a bfn. This mo had 1 attempt ight on o. (Would have preferred right at opk but was out of town.) Currently 3dpo so too soon to know if it worked. I kinda think it is abs w one attempt or fr w multiple attempts. Next mo, we will try 1 more time for abs w 1 attempt at opk.

[atomic sagebrush]

As long as it's IMMEDIATELY afterwards, I think it's ok, but even 6 hours later will be plenty of time for the sperm to replenish themselves. Under NO circumstances switch from abstain to FR and then start having attempts every day because your husband's body will think "hmmm - I had no access to a woman for awhile and now I have one so I better churn out a lot of sperm quick"

My standard advice is for everyone to BD at pos OPK. This gives you a slight cutoff but also is shown to increase odds of pg.

[atomic sagebrush]

We will be doing one attempt evening of + opk. I too am wondering about a 2nd attempt as I fear with all the lowering fertility/ sperm tactics there won't actuall be anything there to go up and I too want to get pregnant this cycle since this diet isnt something I want to continue! I think I may hold off the j and d to give them a bit of a chance but the 2nd attempt scares me! I mean doesnt it defeat the purpose of abstinence?!? I just don't want be wondering "what if" I did one more attempt than I may have gotten pregnant! Sorry probably not much help, just rambling lol!!

It does defeat the purpose of abstinince (again, unless you IMMEDIATELY do a second attempt.) If you want to do more than one attempt, please switch to either FR or compressed FR instead.

[atomic sagebrush]

we are doing abstain.. with 2 attemps. I talked to atomic and bc we do want to get pregnant sooner, we are going to dtd night of pos opk.. which could be tonight (got a good test line last night but it wasn't there yet.. thinking today maybe? will test after work). anyway, dtd night of +opk, possibly release AND dump if DH is up for it that same night after dtd.. release and dump the next morning and dtd the next night!

:agree: but just to be clear, that's not abstain with 2 attempts, that's abstain and then switching to compressed FR. That's a different ball game all together and if you do want to do abstain but also have more than 1 attempt, abstaining and then switching to CFR is a great option - just make sure you dump 1-2 and even up to 3 batches between attempts.

[_Lala_]

Last month I ended up doing 1 attempt 12 hours after a smiley but resulted in BFN. So now I am planning on doing 2 attempts, abstain with compressed FR because I really want to get pg this cycle; I've been on diet for 4 months and don't know how much longer I can keep it up! So I am going to try and get DP to release 2 times and then dtd with the 3rd batch (or release 3 times and dtd with 4th batch) after our original attempt from abstain. My question is what is the timeframe that these releases should happen in to diminish the sperm count enough? Is it like 1 release every 8 hours/12hours? Also, will the sperm from the abstain attempt have reached the egg, or be the first to reach the egg even if we do a second attempt with compressed? Not sure if I'm making sense, but will there be two batches of sperm in there together or by the time the compressed sperm get up there, would the first batch have already reached the egg if they were going to? IYKWIM.
I think I need a bit of reassurance that doing compressed FR won't put me in boy territory. Does compressed really cut down sperm numbers as much as abstain or FR? I think abstain with 1 attempt is best but really want to get pg, I just hope 2 attempts isn't going to ruin all the hard work I've put in to my sway. :worry:

[atomic sagebrush]

There are a couple ways to do this - one is that you can have your abstain attempt and then as soon as he's able to, DTD again.

The second way is after abstain, switch to the compressed FR. We honestly don't know how many releases and in what time frame is best because we don't have enough evidence. I think that the closer the releases are, the better, esp. since you only want to do a day of compressed FR before your attempt (some people do compressed for a few days before an attempt, but you can't exactly do that when mixing abstain and CFR.)

Whether the abstain sperm will reach the egg first depends on when you O. If you abstain + cutoff and then do the compressed with O+12 or even BD on O, the abstain sperm will almost certainly have gotten to the egg before anything from the CFR could have. But if you do abstain on O-2, then do a CFR attempt on O-1, the batches will mix together and both have an equal shot at the egg.

I really, really do not believe that frequency and when to DTD matters very much - in fact I hate to see the effort and stress people put into it. Signals from the environment (diet and lifestyle) have to be sending a much stronger signal to your body than any of these subtle variations in when and how to BD ever could.

[_Lala_]

Thanks Atomic, you're always so good at promptly getting back to all our questions!!:bighug:
So last night I freaked out because I thought I had missed my lh surge so we dtd at 10pm after abstain. I had read your new essay on bd and timing yesterday so decided we should dtd again after our first attempt. So at 1am I woke DP up and we dtd again. This arvo I got my smiley so I hadn't actually missed my lh surge which I guess now means I did a 2 day cut-off. Even though it didn't go to plan, i was going to bd at pos opk, I guess it doesn't really matter having a bit of a cut-off. But now I'm starting to stress that 3 hours was too long a gap between bd and that sperm numbers may have increased too much. I know that you've said no more than 6 hours, and we didn't get pregnant last cycle with 1 attempt at o-1, and i am usually super fertile, so i think dps sperm count is rather low. Please reassure me that 2 bds in 3 hours was fine and not too boy-friendly...please? I'm trying to keep everything in perspective because i know you think that all of this sways the least, but I just don't want to have messed it all up! :sad:

[atomic sagebrush]

It's fine, Lala! 3 hours is not too much. 12 hours is too much!!

Even if it had been 12 hours, no worries anyway. A lot of what we talk about is the ideal vs. the real world. People want to know what I think the "best" way is and that's what I suggest, but that doesn't mean that you can't get a girl (or boy) doing something different. When I conceived this baby I'm pg with now, we BD about every 4 days and that is ideal for a boy - but she's a girl!!

[_Lala_]

Oh Atomic!! :bighug: You're always so good at making me feel better, lol. Today I actually feel a lot better about the whole thing. When you're caught up in it you start worrying about every little thing you did or didn't do. DP said to me last night, just stop over thinking everything! And I knew he was right. I remember reading one of the threads that you had written that really resonated with me, can't remember which one it is now, but you basically said its the whole package that counts, not the minor deails, for eg. Doesn't really matter if it's 7 days or 12 days abstain as long as numbers are decreased, doesn't really matter if it's 1600 or 1500 calories as long as you're losing weight, doesn't really matter if you splurge one day as long as your diet overall is low everything. We all get consumed in the fine details of our sway when these minor things aren't going to define whether we have a boy or a girl. Every now and then I lose my perspective on the whole thing; thanks for always bringing me back! :awe:

[atomic sagebrush]

You're very welcome!!! :) It's the ol' 80-20 rule - you get 80% of the results from 20% of the effort, and to get that last 20% you have to expend 80% of the effort. With swaying, that's really dangerous because expending 80% of the effort can make your T levels go thru the roof, and Mother Nature may not WANT us to get that last 20% anyway because if swaying could ever be 100%, the entire human race would have died out a long time ago! So not only do you expend tons of potentially T-raising energy chasing that last 20%, those things may not even gain you anythign anyway. The 80% is what we're after and the rest is in God's hands!!