Any tips for Mr Poopy Pants?!

[zanacal]

My DS3 is 2 years and 5 months and has been potty trained for the past month or so. He does all his wees on the toilet and barely has any accidents. To begin with he also did his poos on the potty/toilet but a couple of weeks ago he did one in his pants and his since decided to do them all there! I'm quite laid back about it and never make much of a fuss but it's getting rather frustrating now. He holds on because he's trying not to go which means he can have several small accidents during a day and I worry he'll end up constipated with a tummy ache.

I had an idea to make sure he's getting some good poo inducing food to keep him regular - if I can get him to do a 'proper' poo regularly each day (and get him to do it on the toilet!) then hopefully the holding on/little accidents won't happen! Anybody got any ideas for something which might have this effect?!

Please don't suggest we put him back in nappies or in pull-ups (which are the same thing in my mind!) as it's not even on the agenda and I'm sure we'll get through this phase in time regardless of what we do - would be good to hurry it along though if we can!

[LolaInLove]

OH sheesh, Zani, I don't know. Do you think it's a reaction to his little sis coming? My oldest was 2y9m when DD2 was born, and she reverted from several months of positive training- heck, we were almost there totally- to having tons of accidents and all because of the impending birth. She went full on big girl though about 2 months after the baby was born. It was kind of a reversion thing, wanting to be the baby again.

But I have heard that boys in particular get the holding it in thing quite frequently......I'm sure you've tried lots of things, but maybe you could have a talk with him and explain that it's not good for his tummy to hold it in and you could give him some incentive to poop in the potty? Just an idea, you may have tried that. I wouldn't go back to trainers either, don't blame you there. Or maybe the big brothers could help you talk to him if he would respond well to them? (And you could give them a treat for being big helpful brothers- maybe take them on a fun excursion or something, not necessarily candy, ykwim.)

My little brother used to have that issue where he couldn't tell that he needed to poo, and by the time he did, there was a giant football-sized thing that was trying to make its way out. My mom used to give him Kaopectate for constipation, but she asked me (I was 4 years older) to read to him while he sat on the pot and give him a Hershey Kiss if anything happened. I got extra allowance for helping with that, and I was always happy to do that for a few bucks! I think it helped him, though, to have me "coaching" him along and helping my mom, so she wasn't always the bad guy, and since the littles tend to emulate the olders, it may be worth a shot if your oldest son can get on board and be your assistant coach.

GOOD LUCK! I know you want this over by the time your little lady arrives!

[lobella2]

That's a tough one. I have heard of that happening though when a new baby is coming. I trained my daughter with m&m's. She got 1 for pee and 2 for poo, but that was during potty training so I don't know if it would work since he was already potty trained. I hope you figure it out soon. That is frustrating! I am trying to figure out how to get my 4 1/2 year old potty trained at night.

[zanacal]

Thank you both!

It's tricky because he's old enough to understand (when I talk to him about it and leave words out for him to fill in he always gets it right) but at the same time he's not old enough to have a detailed conversation about it iykwim?

I don't know if it's a reaction to baby because I'm not entirely sure he understands that! He will say that I've got a baby in my tummy but I don't know if he realises it's going to come out and come and live with us. As an aside, I've only just managed to convince him I don't have three babies as I have three bumps on my front - no, they're not babies they're boobies :D

I've tried offering a reward for poos on the toilet and he's excited about it but hasn't got any yet.

For a while he's refused to go near a potty because he wants to use the big toilet and that's good but he won't even use the trainer seat so he can't sit there for a long time so easily and he likes to be left in peace to poo (like his dad!). I did persuade him to sit on his potty and watch a DVD this evening because I thought he might go if he wasn't thinking about it and he hadn't been all day. No success but perhaps he didn't need to go today! That's why I thought I could give him a suitable snack after school/work which might help him to go regularly in the evening while he's home with me to catch it! I'm convinced that if I can get one or two in the right place he'll be back on track again - afterall he did get it before (but never did like doing number twos!). I don't think the bigger boys have helped because they'll walk into a smelly room and roll about saying how disgusting it is and I've heard DS3 saying 'disgusting' when he's done a poo. I might see what I can get DS1 to do to help though, he loves reading to him.

[LolaInLove]

OH well, maybe it's the big brothers and the comments about the smell that is making him not want to make a smell! I do remember telling DD1 to not talk about that around DD2 for the same reason. Seriously, I would try to bribe/reward the older boys to "talk it up" with him. I like your idea about the fibrous snack to induce some action there, too. I think you are right, once he does it a couple of times and sees how happy you are about it, he'll learn pretty quickly. Good luck before the chica arrives!!!

[purplepoet20]

Maybe he likes the one on one time when you change his diaper. Have you tried reading him a book when he is on the toilet or talking to him about something he likes. And then give him no attention when changing his diaper, no talking and eye contact, but just changing.

DS1 was the type that would only poo on the toilet but pee in his diaper. Once I stopped the attention when he went in his diaper he did everything in the toliet within a week.

DS2 is starting to use the potty, just for sitting naked but not going, so we give him tons of attention while sitting and none when changing diapers. In the last week he has gone from 1-2x's sitting to 4-5x's. We are still waiting for him to go.

[zanacal]

Thanks guys.

We actually haven't had any accidents in a while. He tells me when he wants to go although he's still reluctant to do it. I sit him on his potty which I think he finds easier than the toilet because his feet are firmly on the floor then he has to be left in private for a long time so he can perform! I give him some toys and books on the floor in front of him and leave the radio on and he gets there eventually - and is very proud of himself when he does! If I stay in the room with him an read to him or entertain him he'll never go!

We just needed some time at home with him to have him sit like this for a couple of times each day to 'see what happens' which we weren't able to do until we were off work/school/childminder over the Easter holidays.

[purplepoet20]

Is he a shy boy?

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't think it's a reaction to the baby, I think it's just a phase that will pass. I think you're right that he probably likes to be left alone to go about his business and it may be embarrasing to him to have the fuss made over it. He is quite young and it's actually amazing to me that he's trained at all at this age, only one of my 4 trained that early on. Good work!!!

[Hobbermittens]

This sounds like my son--only mine is FIVE!!! He has always been like this... I have taken him to the doctor, given him fiber, laxatives, etc. It is a nightmare. Honestly, I am concerned he will be sent home from kindergarten next year--or worse, kids will tease him! :( He has little smears in his underwear most days. And has an accident at least once a week. I think my son's issue is that he is often constipated (not sure why--he eats a ton of veggies and fruits) and when he does have to go, he also holds it in because he doesn't want to stop playing to go potty. It makes me crazy. We had to leave a birthday party early last week because he had an accident.

Sorry, I have no ideas of what to tell you, since we are having the same problem, and have had it going on for 2.5 years!! I really hope your DS gets through it faster than mine has!!

[begonia]

DD1 had encopresis when she was 3.5... that's the "technical" term for a kid who holds in/leaks out poo, according to our pediatrician at least. The issue with her, as our doc explained it to us, was she held one in so long that she lost the ability to "Feel" when she needed to go. Her bowel was stretched out basically. And the small soiling in her panties from time to time wasn't that she was pushing out poo, it was literally leaking out :( It took 6 months of getting her to go regularly (and using laxatives to induce regular movements) before things returned to normal and she could feel and respond properly to the need-to-go again. She hasn't had any issues since then thank goodness!

[Hobbermittens]

DD1 had encopresis when she was 3.5... that's the "technical" term for a kid who holds in/leaks out poo, according to our pediatrician at least. The issue with her, as our doc explained it to us, was she held one in so long that she lost the ability to "Feel" when she needed to go. Her bowel was stretched out basically. And the small soiling in her panties from time to time wasn't that she was pushing out poo, it was literally leaking out :( It took 6 months of getting her to go regularly (and using laxatives to induce regular movements) before things returned to normal and she could feel and respond properly to the need-to-go again. She hasn't had any issues since then thank goodness!

Sorry you have had too go through this too.... can you PM me exactly what you did to "fix" her? I am really losing it with my DS!

[zanacal]

Aww Hobbers, you must have the patience of a saint! One of my friends has the same problem with her little boy but much worse than me and she's been getting so upset about it.

He's not at all shy Purple, he just likes to poo in peace (like his dad!). Mummy doesn't have that option - I always have company lol!

Atomic - he was the easiest of the 3 to potty train! He was 2 years 4 months and I did DS1 at the same time. I had most difficulty with DS2 who I left until he was older!

I guess we just needed to give it time!

[maybeoneday]

Hi Zan, my DS1 is a bit of a 'holder' and was also not keen on doing number 2's in the potty. It got to the point where he was so constipated he wouldn't eat and was just miserable (probably felt rubbish!) I have to say that I don't think it has anything to do with the baby either, I just think it is him!

What we did to help DS1 was to encourage him to always sit on the toilet/potty straight after the bath as the warm bath water sometimes help bring along a movement and if he sat there and tried to do a poo, he would get a sticker on the star chart. It did help and he still most days will go for a poo after the bath (only now he asks!)

I think DS1 will always be prone to constipation and once it has been in there for a few days he is then scared to let it out and it makes the problem worse. I sometimes give him some syrup of figs to get things moving along which gets us back on track.

Other than that, try as hard as you can (and I know, it is REALLY HARD) to ignore it and I am sure it will go away soon!

Good luck xx

[LolaInLove]

Zan, I'm glad he is going now like a big boy! ITA, pooing in peace is the way to go. Men like their time in there. My daughters even laugh about how DH "is probably pooping" when he disappears for 30 minutes.

[Wishing4Princess]

Hi Zan, my DS1 is a bit of a 'holder' and was also not keen on doing number 2's in the potty. It got to the point where he was so constipated he wouldn't eat and was just miserable (probably felt rubbish!) I have to say that I don't think it has anything to do with the baby either, I just think it is him!

What we did to help DS1 was to encourage him to always sit on the toilet/potty straight after the bath as the warm bath water sometimes help bring along a movement and if he sat there and tried to do a poo, he would get a sticker on the star chart. It did help and he still most days will go for a poo after the bath (only now he asks!)

I think DS1 will always be prone to constipation and once it has been in there for a few days he is then scared to let it out and it makes the problem worse. I sometimes give him some syrup of figs to get things moving along which gets us back on track.

Other than that, try as hard as you can (and I know, it is REALLY HARD) to ignore it and I am sure it will go away soon!

Good luck xx



OMG, zana and MOD. I am having the same exact issue w/ DS 1. he's 3.5 and he was potty trained at 3. He got the hang of doing #1 in a day. but #2...he's seldom tells us about, and will go in a corner or a room and close the door, try to do his business. I know he wants the peace, I interrupt every time I catch him and ask if he's gotta poopoo, then he'll say yes. he sits on the toilet seat forever and nothing comes out, because by that time he's held the poop in that he ends up constipated. he's a veryyyy picky eater and does not like fruits and veggies either. if he's at his own house, he MIGHT sometimes ask to go poo, but if he's anywhere else..for ex. mom watches him during the week. he poops in his pants most days...he only goes 2 times a week too....this is very unhealthy and I told his dr. he just suggest I give him corn syrup?! I was 40 mins late to work today bc I noticed he had to poo and was starting to do it in the pants. I took him to the potty (never used portable potties. just regular toilet with seat) he pushed and cried and nothing came out...it brought me to tears:(:(. what do you ladies give your kids to keep them going??? and how else should I encourage this poor boy to go potty?

[zanacal]

Thankfully we don't have the constipation issue. Will he drink fruit juices or smoothies? I think all juices except citrus juices are good.

We weren't using the potty after the first few days of training but I find it helps him to go for a poo if he uses it because he can plant his feet firmly on the floor and if I put some toys/books on the floor in front of him he leans right forward and the combination of leaning forward with his feet firmly on the floor seems to help him to go. I tried getting him to use a higher foot stool and a soft toilet seat but that doesn't seem to do the trick quite as well!

Your LO is a bit older than mine - do you think he could try and blow up a balloon?! I read on a site that it uses the same muscles as going for a poo and that some had had success with getting their LOs to blow up a balloon on the toilet! My DS doesn't get it, he just puts it between his teeth and blows raspberries!

[HopingForPigtails]

Wishing- just wanted to say my 3.5 YR old does the same thing. I actually dont think my DS would get constipated but from what I've told, the longer they hold the poop in the bowel, the more water is drawn from the poop, and therefore, they become constipated simply because the poop becomes hard inside them- and then they REALLY dont want to push it out!!

My DS eats loads of fruit but that's still not enough- he still holds it. Our ped told us to use Miralax (here in USA- not sure what it's sold as in other countries). It's OTC and non-habit forming. We have to use almost a whole capful every day- but it does force him to go. He is still terrified to use the potty- we've done stickers, books, movies to try to get him to use it. Heck, we've even told him we'll get a play set for the backyard if he poops in the potty! (That's one expensive poop!). None of it works. We just bough a package of pull ups and I told him it's the last one we're buying and when they're all gone, that's it, we're using the potty. He says ok, but who knows. Il sure he'll hold it but I'm going to stand my ground!

Anyhow- not much help but try the Miralax, it does help!!

[HopingForPigtails]

Thankfully we don't have the constipation issue. Will he drink fruit juices or smoothies? I think all juices except citrus juices are good.

We weren't using the potty after the first few days of training but I find it helps him to go for a poo if he uses it because he can plant his feet firmly on the floor and if I put some toys/books on the floor in front of him he leans right forward and the combination of leaning forward with his feet firmly on the floor seems to help him to go. I tried getting him to use a higher foot stool and a soft toilet seat but that doesn't seem to do the trick quite as well!

Your LO is a bit older than mine - do you think he could try and blow up a balloon?! I read on a site that it uses the same muscles as going for a poo and that some had had success with getting their LOs to blow up a balloon on the toilet! My DS doesn't get it, he just puts it between his teeth and blows raspberries!

Oh, and the ballon idea is a great one, Zan! My DS still doesn't get how to blow up a balloon but it's a great idea!!

[Wishing4Princess]

Ladies, those are all wonderfull ideas. I will get him the balloon, as he is totally into that stuff now. and Zana, he doesn't like smoothies and juices...some apple juice. He does like raisins and grapes..which gives him good fiber..but we have follow him around with his water bottle to keep him from getting to constipated..as HFP pointed, it's the waiting too long that makes it worse. We have spend more time outdoors to keep him moving..and I try 'hiding' veggies in his food..I can get him to eat some fiber. but he still uses the undies to do his business...

Zana, you are right about the toilet being too high...I tried the foot stool for him as well...my son won't use the baby potties..only the regular toilet ..but with the seat..and those seats are soo small ..it looks like it compresses his buttocks together...IYKWIM?? any suggestions?

[zanacal]

I wonder if there's some way you can get him to lean forwards while he's sitting - something on the stool or floor in front of him which he has to lean to look at? Can he go without the toddler seat? My LO doesn't want to use it for wees any more - though the bad thing about that is that he doesn't hang around for a really long time on the toilet like he needs to to do a poo!

[PeonyPrincess]

My DS1 is like a fruit bat and really good at eating vegies, so I was really surprised that he got constipation. I took him to a naturopath who told me I needed to change his diet and now we don't have any problems. The main things she said were: Give him a 'poo' breakfast (sounds awful, but helps them do a poo after eating it). It is basically porridge. She suggested cooking up some apples and pears, cored but with their skins on and adding it to the oats once cooked to sweeten it. I also make a LSA mix (linseed, sunflower seeds and almonds) and add a small amount for some protein. Sometimes I make home-made baked beans and he has that with wholemeal toast. On the weekend I always let him choose his own breakfast so I don't feel like I am constantly nagging about eating the right foods. And I want him to learn that he has to choose what goes into his tummy and suffer the problems if it is all junk.

She also said to buy breads with wholemeal flour. Even some breads here that are called wholemeal actually use a lot of wheat flour in them. The main other thing was if he has meat or eggs, he needs something with it to help it move through his gut as they are binding and will block him up. Brown rice is perfect or chick peas, that kind of thing. Medium grain brown rice my kids actually like, especially with some soy or tamari sauce sprinkled over. I made long grain brown rice once, but even I couldn't eat it so I don't recommend that!

Sorry for the big post, but I remember how awful it was to have a child who complained of tummy pains every day and relied on parachoc to do a decent poo. When he was blocked up it used to cause him to wet the bed as well, so it has fixed that too.

One more thing about diet...she said to give him plenty of fresh fruits but avoid fruit juice as it is very high in fructose. The fructose prevents their bodies from fighting infection for some hours after they have it. I had mentioned that the kids were catching every cold around and now that they rarely have juice they are much healthier. I thought it was very interesting as I assumed it was a healthy thing to be giving them to drink.

Zanacal, I love that your boobs were supposedly extra babies! Don't they say the cutest things?!

[Wishing4Princess]

I wonder if there's some way you can get him to lean forwards while he's sitting - something on the stool or floor in front of him which he has to lean to look at? Can he go without the toddler seat? My LO doesn't want to use it for wees any more - though the bad thing about that is that he doesn't hang around for a really long time on the toilet like he needs to to do a poo!

Yes, I have tried putting something in front of him to lean forward to look at..it helps a bit. he doesnt even like the toddler seat, and doesn't use it to do #1. he'll just go on his own and lift the seat and take wee standing. but it's really impossible to use the toilet w/out the toddler seat, since he's scared he'll fall into it.

Peony, that's interesting about the fruit juices. my kids don't have much of it. I know diet is key, but only if he goes when he needs to, there won't be much build up , ya know. I guess it will get better over time. I will just have to get more creative about hiding veggies /fruit into his meals.

BTW, Peony congrats on your BFP! crossing fingers it's your girl:)

Zana, you are getting very close to your due date! how exciting!

[atomic sagebrush]

Zana, my DS 2 who was VERY easy to potty train and did so at a super young age basically on his own (I think he was just barely 2) then wet his bed for many years afterwards. And I know two woman whose daughters potty trained very easily and then started having accidents (one poo, one pee) that carried on for years afterwards (hopefully yours won't!) I've wondered if the easier they are to train at first, maybe they like to make up for it in the end haha.

For the ladies dealing with constipation, my DS 3 gets very constipated becasue of a medical condition and I've found that the gummy laxatives with inulin in them (the ones we have are "little tummies" brand) are awesome for that.

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh and Wishing4 - DS 3 had no success using the potty seat or pooing on the little potty, he ended up learning to balance on the big pot and pooing in there. Something about the position he was in when on the big pot, helped to get things moving.

He was really scared too but I bribed him with massive amounts of candy (it was really bad) the first few times.

[Wishing4Princess]

Oh and Wishing4 - DS 3 had no success using the potty seat or pooing on the little potty, he ended up learning to balance on the big pot and pooing in there. Something about the position he was in when on the big pot, helped to get things moving.

He was really scared too but I bribed him with massive amounts of candy (it was really bad) the first few times.

that's funny..at this point I really don't need the extra stress and would do anything to make him go too. I will try m&ms..thnx for the info on the gummy lax. I will pick some up today.