Which do you think is harder?

[Cinss]

Swaying BOY or swaying GIRL?

Obviously it is challenging for all of us swaying, and maybe it is easier for some than others. We all have to change our diets, take supps, monitor our cycles, so would you think it is harder to get a boy if you already have girls or vice versa?

[hopingforsaskia]

I don't know if it's harder one way or the other, but it seems it's harder for ME to get girls.. :bigsmile:

[hopingforsaskia]

PS: you should join our little aussie group... Sheilas who want Sheilas ;)

[TTC5]

Well given that I used to thrive on dieting lol the boy diet was a killer for me :P

[dloui128]

I'm going to say swaying Boy is harder for me anyways since I already have two girls. When I had my girls I knew nothing about swaying so I wasn't "dieting" I was just eating what I liked when I liked. I guess I liked the LE type diet

[atomic sagebrush]

This is a tough question to answer.

I think that in one way, it's harder to sway pink because it's all about hitting this tiny window where you're less fertile but not infertile. Whereas with blue, you're just trying to improve fertility and it's kinda a one way street - you can't GET too fertile.

At the same time, it's DEFINITELY harder to sway blue because there may be things that are just unchangeable that are working against you...things you or DH were maybe born with or happened in childhood or that you have in your environment that you cannot control.

It's also harder to sway blue because i think there's worse info out there for blue swayers than there is pink. Honestly, it's almost a miracle to me that people get pg with boys at all ever, doing some of the stuff the traditional sway recommends.

[begonia]

This is a tough question to answer.

I think that in one way, it's harder to sway pink because it's all about hitting this tiny window where you're less fertile but not infertile. Whereas with blue, you're just trying to improve fertility and it's kinda a one way street - you can't GET too fertile.

At the same time, it's DEFINITELY harder to sway blue because there may be things that are just unchangeable that are working against you...things you or DH were maybe born with or happened in childhood or that you have in your environment that you cannot control.

It's also harder to sway blue because i think there's worse info out there for blue swayers than there is pink. Honestly, it's almost a miracle to me that people get pg with boys at all ever, doing some of the stuff the traditional sway recommends.

This is what I was thinking too ... it seems much of modern life (environmental, lifestyle, etc) really does more to increase the odds of pink, in ways that are sometimes inescapable or at least very difficult to change. Most of us are so busy that we get less sleep, it's hard to make a hearty balanced nutritious meal, we're exposed to innumerable toxins, women are encouraged to be really thin, etc. All of that leans pink.

I would think it might be more difficult to get pregnant with a pink as opposed to a blue sway, given the recommended timing issues, so perhaps blue swayers get pregnant faster ... but I think as far as the odds of success with getting the desired gender it might be easier to get a girl from a "boy mom" than it is to get a boy from a "girl mom."

That said, nature does favor boys 51/49 in the live birth rate, so there is that built-in bias that boy moms have to overcome. I guess I think of it almost like boy moms have a downhill run (which if you've ever run down a steep hill, it isn't easy at all) but girl moms have to slog up that steep hill ... and that's just a bit harder, IMO.

Either way I suppose wherever you're coming from, boy or girl mom, your particular sway is probably hard for you since it's a lifestyle change from your "natural" leanings.

[LolaInLove]

I think swaying girl is harder with the dieting and trying to get pregnant while you are trying to decrease fertility.....but swaying boy is definitely harder on the body in the long run since you can get FAT!!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

This is what I was thinking too ... it seems much of modern life (environmental, lifestyle, etc) really does more to increase the odds of pink, in ways that are sometimes inescapable or at least very difficult to change. Most of us are so busy that we get less sleep, it's hard to make a hearty balanced nutritious meal, we're exposed to innumerable toxins, women are encouraged to be really thin, etc. All of that leans pink.

I would think it might be more difficult to get pregnant with a pink as opposed to a blue sway, given the recommended timing issues, so perhaps blue swayers get pregnant faster ... but I think as far as the odds of success with getting the desired gender it might be easier to get a girl from a "boy mom" than it is to get a boy from a "girl mom."

That said, nature does favor boys 51/49 in the live birth rate, so there is that built-in bias that boy moms have to overcome. I guess I think of it almost like boy moms have a downhill run (which if you've ever run down a steep hill, it isn't easy at all) but girl moms have to slog up that steep hill ... and that's just a bit harder, IMO.

Either way I suppose wherever you're coming from, boy or girl mom, your particular sway is probably hard for you since it's a lifestyle change from your "natural" leanings.

:agree: totally Begonia. If your or DH's body has been "set pink" somewhere along the way (by environmental toxins or being really depleted for a long time) I think it may take a LOT to overcome it. That's why I have always thought that while swaying pink may FEEL harder, swaying blue actually IS harder.

And I forgot to mention this above but there is a small subset of women who are carriers for rare genetic disorders that actually may make it half as likely that they can conceive a healthy baby boy - these women in effect have twice the odds at healthy baby girls as they do healthy baby boys.

The crazy thing and I believe the next "mountain I need to climb" is to address why many blue swayers are taking so long to get pg. Because my gut tells me that a)blue swayers as a general rule, should get pregnant sooner than pink swayers and b)we should be having better odds of success with blue sways than with pink. So far neither of these things is true, which is shocking to me.

[atomic sagebrush]

This is what I was thinking too ... it seems much of modern life (environmental, lifestyle, etc) really does more to increase the odds of pink, in ways that are sometimes inescapable or at least very difficult to change. Most of us are so busy that we get less sleep, it's hard to make a hearty balanced nutritious meal, we're exposed to innumerable toxins, women are encouraged to be really thin, etc. All of that leans pink.

I would think it might be more difficult to get pregnant with a pink as opposed to a blue sway, given the recommended timing issues, so perhaps blue swayers get pregnant faster ... but I think as far as the odds of success with getting the desired gender it might be easier to get a girl from a "boy mom" than it is to get a boy from a "girl mom."

That said, nature does favor boys 51/49 in the live birth rate, so there is that built-in bias that boy moms have to overcome. I guess I think of it almost like boy moms have a downhill run (which if you've ever run down a steep hill, it isn't easy at all) but girl moms have to slog up that steep hill ... and that's just a bit harder, IMO.

Either way I suppose wherever you're coming from, boy or girl mom, your particular sway is probably hard for you since it's a lifestyle change from your "natural" leanings.

:agree: totally Begonia. If your or DH's body has been "set pink" somewhere along the way (by environmental toxins or being really depleted for a long time) I think it may take a LOT to overcome it. That's why I have always thought that while swaying pink may FEEL harder, swaying blue actually IS harder.

And I forgot to mention this above but there is a small subset of women who are carriers for rare genetic disorders that actually may make it half as likely that they can conceive a healthy baby boy - these women in effect have twice the odds at healthy baby girls as they do healthy baby boys.

The crazy thing and I believe the next "mountain I need to climb" is to address why many blue swayers are taking so long to get pg. Because my gut tells me that a)blue swayers as a general rule, should get pregnant sooner than pink swayers and b)we should be having better odds of success with blue sways than with pink. So far neither of these things is true, which is shocking to me.

[auroara78]

I agree with begonia, about the downhill slope and then the uphill slodge feast!

Of course I thought swaying pink was hard, because my body was so naturally boy friendly and I was doing activites that screamed...hello let's have a boy!!! I don't know if I made enough changes to overcome it, but I certainly think that the lower fertility methods that girl sways employ definitely block concieving some.

That said, I am myself astounded why it is taking some blue swayers so long to concieve. With everything we know about fertility, and how better fertillity *typically* increases chances of blue, I am really suprirsed. And the other thing that suprirses me are the sways that were so darn powerful, I mean, I read some blue sways and i thought wow she did MORE than me and she is def. going to have a boy (lifting weights, eating lots of healthy fats, dense nutritional foods, breakfast, etc) and then they still have a girl, which flies in the face of the pink sway conventions. So it is a bit puzzling to me because everything I BELIEVE in about what should be in a boy sway is happening here on the boy sways but still quite a few result in a girl, which is mind-boggling.

I always feel like I have my head wrapped around the idea of how to "make a boy" (because I have two) so I feel a bit jolted when an awesome boy sway results in a girl. But I don't feel that way about girl sways resulting in boys, because i guess I always feel like its raining men all the time.... :rofl:

[LolaInLove]

Atomic, that is a very interesting question about why it is taking blue swayers a while to get pg- for some reason, I keep thinking about these three things: egg whites, baking soda, and taking too many supps that freak your body's normal balance out. So many get off cycles after starting to sway that I can't help but think it's something to do with supps. Maybe too many is not a good thing. ???

[atomic sagebrush]

I think the insane amounts of sodium/baking soda water and trying for one attempt at ovulation is a big part of it as well.

My big concern is if it takes people 6 months to get pg swaying blue, they end up gaining so much weight and that may not be at all great for fertility either (and by the 6 month mark, those who were avoiding cal/mag will totally have used up their body's supplies). My fear is that the long sways + gaining 50 lbs + baking soda finger may actually end up swaying PINK for some people.

[LolaInLove]

I think the insane amounts of sodium/baking soda water and trying for one attempt at ovulation is a big part of it as well.

My big concern is if it takes people 6 months to get pg swaying blue, they end up gaining so much weight and that may not be at all great for fertility either (and by the 6 month mark, those who were avoiding cal/mag will totally have used up their body's supplies). My fear is that the long sways + gaining 50 lbs + baking soda finger may actually end up swaying PINK for some people.

I totally agree. Swaying (well, the diet) for so long has changed my body chemistry, and now I can't lose any weight just by modifying my diet alone, whereas I used to be able to lose 5lbs in a few days if I was sick and didn't eat much. Even though my hormone levels are ok, I sometimes wonder if MY fertility is a little bit of our problem now also!

[LolaInLove]

I think the insane amounts of sodium/baking soda water and trying for one attempt at ovulation is a big part of it as well.

My big concern is if it takes people 6 months to get pg swaying blue, they end up gaining so much weight and that may not be at all great for fertility either (and by the 6 month mark, those who were avoiding cal/mag will totally have used up their body's supplies). My fear is that the long sways + gaining 50 lbs + baking soda finger may actually end up swaying PINK for some people.

I totally agree. Swaying (well, the diet) for so long has changed my body chemistry, and now I can't lose any weight just by modifying my diet alone, whereas I used to be able to lose 5lbs in a few days if I was sick and didn't eat much. Even though my hormone levels are ok, I sometimes wonder if MY fertility is a little bit of our problem now also!

[MrsECullen]

.

[Hobbermittens]

My big concern is if it takes people 6 months to get pg swaying blue, they end up gaining so much weight and that may not be at all great for fertility either (and by the 6 month mark, those who were avoiding cal/mag will totally have used up their body's supplies). My fear is that the long sways + gaining 50 lbs + baking soda finger may actually end up swaying PINK for some people.

Hmmm. I was on the diet for about 4.5 months before I got pregnant. I did avoid dairy, but still took a prenatal and ate other foods that contained calcium and magnesium (lots of nuts!) so I hope this wasn't the case for me. Although I still don't know gender, I just "feel" that this baby is a girl, so we will see in the end if my sway worked or not--I am thinking NOT. But the stuff I had counting against me were mostly things my DH did, like smoking his stupid "special cigarettes" (he did cut back but wouldn't quit altogether) and he still had a beer or two a night. At the time I just went with it, because I knew if I bugged him any more, he would pull the plug on the sway.

I got pregnant the 3rd cycle of trying. That didn't seem too bad to me. But I know there are several ladies who have been trying since I started my sway and still aren't pregnant, which does seem like a LONG time to be trying!!

[Princess of Pink]

I don't get why people who have all girls are usually less fertile...those having boys more fertile...and yet when I do everything to sway boy and increase my fertility...it is taking me FOREVER to get pregnant (ok only 3 months so far but thats forever) and while 'apparently' less fertile I fall preggers first go every time???

[pebmcpd7]

Well I def think getting a girl is harder, my diet pre TTC girl would def be very boy friendly, I eat lots of meat and had a very healthy diet. I love my salt and garlic, which was hard to give up :( I was also a bit overweight, not now :)

[clarabell]

I think my life genetally sways boy, I eat everything. I would say healthy, prob on top end BMI, meat veg and spicy foods. Strange as my sister is a fussy veggy and she has boys and girls. I am desperate to ttc DD one day, I read all these sways and think it is going to be so hard to do LE diet. I tried to sway with the last two boys, first time it was just timing (before O) second time it was timing and mag and calcium, and lydia pinkman. Neither worked and I love my sons but so desperate for a girl. I still have to convince my DH to let me have another baby and to join the sway. He knows how desperate I am and feels that if I have another boy I might loose the plot. He says I bullied him for number three. Not sure what the future holds, but I pray lots.

[Junie]

I didn't do anything special to get pregnant or try for one sex either this time or last, and each time I got a boy although I don't really fit the "boy" criteria necessarily as I am quite thin, have long irregular cycles (which are normally a sign of poor fertility not good fertility) but I'm also active (we live in a big European city where you walk/bike most places), I work out 2ish times a week, but I eat whatever I like (lots of healthy fats and good homemade meals, but also unhealthy things like nachos) and both times I got pregnant the first try.

I know what I have researched so far of the girl strategy here makes me a bit worried. There is absolutely no way I could work out strenuously 5+ times a week. I really would just lose too much weight too fast and as I was already at the healthy limit just before being too thin so I just can't imagine doing it (or being disciplined enough to do it!!!).

Good thing I have some time to prepare LOL. Maybe I will try not to lose all the pregnancy weight so I can lose it for TTC HAHA.

[Zivic-Bubac]

From my perspective, it's practically impossible to have boys :( Eventho I was trying real hard to live 'boy life style' :(

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't get why people who have all girls are usually less fertile...those having boys more fertile...and yet when I do everything to sway boy and increase my fertility...it is taking me FOREVER to get pregnant (ok only 3 months so far but thats forever) and while 'apparently' less fertile I fall preggers first go every time???

I know this is hard for people to understand what I mean when I talk about less fertile. I do NOT mean that people who have girls necessarily take longer to get pg, are infertile, or any such thing. It is entirely possible to have less than optimal fertility and still conceive very very easily. It just can mean that a bit less sperm are in the mix, whether it's because DH has fewer to begin with or because fewer survive to make it to the egg.

When you are talking about tens of millions of sperm being ejaculated, fewer still means A LOT. Plenty to conceive with. If getting a girl was super hard, we wouldn't have about5 50-50 girls and boys being conceived. There is a lot of wiggle room along the continuum and at the end of it all, luck plays its own part.

I don't claim to have all the answers, but I do think that as a general rule it does seem to hold up. Dudes with lower sperm numbers for any reason (even totally unrelated reasons like chemicals vs. riding a bicycle) have more daughters. Women with hostile CM and who are not ovulating regularly due to restricted diet have more daughters.

[atomic sagebrush]

I didn't do anything special to get pregnant or try for one sex either this time or last, and each time I got a boy although I don't really fit the "boy" criteria necessarily as I am quite thin, have long irregular cycles (which are normally a sign of poor fertility not good fertility) but I'm also active (we live in a big European city where you walk/bike most places), I work out 2ish times a week, but I eat whatever I like (lots of healthy fats and good homemade meals, but also unhealthy things like nachos) and both times I got pregnant the first try.

I know what I have researched so far of the girl strategy here makes me a bit worried. There is absolutely no way I could work out strenuously 5+ times a week. I really would just lose too much weight too fast and as I was already at the healthy limit just before being too thin so I just can't imagine doing it (or being disciplined enough to do it!!!).

Good thing I have some time to prepare LOL. Maybe I will try not to lose all the pregnancy weight so I can lose it for TTC HAHA.

Long irregular cycles can also be a sign of PCOS which sways blue by raising testosterone. You may want to see your doctor to rule it out.

You do not have to work out 5+ days a week to conceive a girl. That's just one strategy that some people use. Others use the "couch potato" strategy and do not work out at all (this is what worked for me). Moderate exercise tends to sway blue, while extreme AND no exercise tends to sway pink.

[atomic sagebrush]

From my perspective, it's practically impossible to have boys :( Eventho I was trying real hard to live 'boy life style' :(

This is why I believe it's harder for pink mamas to get boys. You can do everything "right" and your body (or DH's) still doesn't cooperate. :(

[Junie]

Long irregular cycles can also be a sign of PCOS which sways blue by raising testosterone. You may want to see your doctor to rule it out.


I live in Germany and I can almost guarantee that no doctor would do anything regarding PCOS since I don't have trouble getting pregnant, and my cycles stay somewhat regular if I am on the pill most of the time. I'm guessing I do have a mild case of it as it was something I looked into a bit when I was still in highschool in the States and my gyno there confirmed it could be a possibility.

We are still at least 1 1/2 off from TTC since I am pregnant at the moment, but would you have tips to combat the PCOS? I'm planning on getting a personalized plan from you when the time comes but for some reason have been interested in researching the topic now a bit-even though I am really pleased to be having a second boy. The first pregnancy I spent hours looking into strollers/wraps/and cloth diapers- this time none of those things have interested me so I have to find something else to research :D :D

Also do you think I will still be able to pull it off if my husband doesn't change his lifestyle at all? I don't think he would be on board at all for swaying:(

[atomic sagebrush]

Junie, I have a thread going about PCOS and swaying that you can read here: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/9052-swaying-under-special-circumstances-part-3-pcos.html It's not complete but I will redouble my efforts on it - I hope to have a few sample meals and diet guidelines for swaying with PCOS

The good news is that many of the pink sway tactics are helpful for PCOS anyway and I elaborate more about that in the essay. You're already doing a lot of great things for keeping PCOS under control (thinness, exercise, eating healthy fats).

You can def have a great sway even without your husband on board. What DW does matters WAY more than DH, because it's your body that has to carry a baby for 9 months and then BF for at least 9 more and then raise a child for several years afterwards, while men can do a "hit and run" and (at least in nature) are often around only for conception and then do a disappearing act. So the female's environment is much more representative of the environment/resources available for the child to be born into.

[Junie]

Thanks so much for your reply- what you have already written about PCOS is so interesting! I'm glad to hear it doesn't mean I am doomed to failure on a sway- and glad to hear that DH doesn't have to actively take part. I just know it will be hard enough to get him to agree to a third that trying to get him to take supplements or change his lifestyle would really be pushing my luck! :D

[purplepoet20]

I think both can be hard when you are used to a certain diet! Boy Diet = You have pig out and Girl Diet = you starve

I found it hard to do a girl diet because I wanted all kind of boy friendly things but after a long time eating nothing I have a hard time eating again. I am still not hungry until 10am and a cup of coffee with water seems to hold me over. I eat 3 small meals a day and I am not snacking. I have been staying even and loosing a few lbs or oz here and there since I got prego and I am 14 1/2 wks, by now I would have gained over 15lbs.

[Butterfly Spirit]

Swaying GIRL definitely is most difficult in my opinion simply because I LOVE FOOD too much!!!

But if you look at what you do, and how you eat and how you'll be almost completely flipping your diet/lifestyle to sway and you aren't used to doing it..It's probably hard to sway for either one!

[ThreeLittleStars]

As a mom of four girls, this thread really scares me. ;)

[CherryBlossom]

Wow this thread really helped me!!! I feel do much better about swaying now. Except for the couch potato = girls.
I wasn't exactly active when I concieved both boys.
I also put on weight when I drink fizzy drink (pop) hmmm

[Mama2boys]

For me, girl. I haven't checked in to sway too in depth yet but from what I have seen I actually had quite a few things sway girl this time.

[Glittergirl]

I would think trying for a girl was hard for me because I was douching and staying away from all the nuts and grains I normally love eating. I was not used to the girl diet at all and I always felt hungry!

[wannagirl21]

I think it's hard to sway girl , for some reason I think boy sway is easier cuz everyone loves to eat and dtd as much as they want, but even swaying pink I think boy spermies are very tricky. just my thoughts:happy:

[NearlyDone]

Personally i found swaying blue really easy.....have looked at the pink sway and think that looks harder