Middle child fears..

[hopingforsaskia]

I've been working through my emotions before I try for our girl, and I started to think about "middle child syndrome" and I wondered, if we got a third boy, what would I do?? I mean, I am pretty convinced if we get a third boy, we'll end it all there and be happy with that.. but there's a part of me that wouldn't want to *disadvantage* my middle son (who is at present the most kind and gentle natured little fellow..) and perhaps we should just wing it one last time and get a 4th boy to avoid it.. but secretly, if we tried again, I'd want a girl anyway and would just hope that it happened by accident... haha DYKWIM?

For the mums of 3's - did you/do you have much drama with middle children? How do you get around it? What do you look out for??? I'm concerned -- I don't want to break my beautiful little boy... :car:

[Myloves]

I had a similar fear to you, only I worried about my second son being 'just another boy' - as silly as that sounds.
You see, my first son will always be known as the oldest and the first boy, and my daughter will most likely be the only girl so she'll be the baby of the family and the only daughter; whereas my middle would just be... the middle one: or Boy#2. At least, that's the way I used to think ;). Now I think my second is one of my easier ones, and despite being a middle child he still stands out in his own special way. He is a gentle, sweet little boy and we are very close :awe:.
Ds2 was quite jealous of dd when she born and it took him some time to get used to fact that he wasn't the baby anymore, but now he loves her alot.
Oh, and I think drama doesn't always come from a middle kid; in fact I'd say my first born is the dramatic one in our house!

[atomic sagebrush]

My boys are as different as night, day, midafternoon, and a watermelon. Seriously, they all have SUCH different personalities that no one ever has been lost in the shuffle at all. I think that's one of those things we worry over that never comes to pass - rather than being "the boy" and "the girl" they are "the musician", "the author", "the mechanic" and "the comedian" in addition to being different in a zillion other ways.

[zanacal]

Exactly what Atomic said - it's never been an issue in our family :D

[Myloves]

My boys are as different as night, day, midafternoon, and a watermelon. Seriously, they all have SUCH different personalities that no one ever has been lost in the shuffle at all. I think that's one of those things we worry over that never comes to pass - rather than being "the boy" and "the girl" they are "the musician", "the author", "the mechanic" and "the comedian" in addition to being different in a zillion other ways.

:rofl: at watermelon. My boys are like that too! I have two of the same gender that are total opposites. My oldest is sporty, fearless and very intelligent (which can sometimes be a bad thing when he talks back! that boy can be really cheeky...) and my ds2 loves craft/art and is quiet, loves to 'write' stories, doesn't like sports that much.

[Princess of Pink]

Never been an issue in my family as they girls are all SOOOOOOO different!

[Flava]

Even if you get a girl DS2 will be the middle child ! I have 4 kids and we have no problem with this they all just different.

[nuthinbutpink]

The middle child doesn't matter as far as which genders. I am sure it is worse for some that get a desired gender after a middle of the same gender as the first. That's up to you and DH though. How we treat them is everything. We never compare, they are all different and they all do their own things. I am a huge fan of the kids supporting eachother too. They all go to eachother's events and we cheer for one another.

With 3 kids, the middle child is the only one that gets to experience being an older sibling and a younger sibling. They get to be the protector and the protected. It's really unique and that is how I would approach it.

[RedCanoe]

I agree with everyone, I'm not finding that we have any issues like that either. They are each an individual and get treated as such.

[Cinss]

I can't be sure that our middle daughter just has an evil streak or it is because she is the middle child. DD1 and DD3 seem to get along better and DD2 acts up because of that.

[hopingforsaskia]

That's really interesting feedback everyone -- thank you!! I appreciate it so much. As it stands, if anyone's going to feel out of kilter with a third, it'll be my eldest. He's so much like MyLoves boy -- fearless, cheeky, loud and proud.. and as much as he loves his little brother, he still craves that attention. I think it'll be fine. I just wanted to put it out and see what you guys have experienced. :) Again, thanks! :HH:

[begonia]

What a great question to post here! I had wondered the same thing about our 2nd DD, how she would handle us having one more baby. We actually have joked about our DD2 for years (not in front of her!) that she was born to be a middle child, because she is flat-out charming and sparkly and there is no chance she'll ever be at a loss for attention. I think Atomic and NBP said it well ... they're all going to be different and you celebrate them for what makes them special without comparing them to one another :)

Anyhow DD3 is only 6 weeks old but so far neither of the older DD's have had any negative adjustment issues. If anything I've been most surprised at how they keep talking about us having another baby after this one, LOL! Crazy kids. We'll see how they feel when DD3 is getting into their business in a year :bigsmile: