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  1. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by princessreader View Post
    That’s reassuring to hear. Although I’m sorry to hear about what you went through Glad he is okay x x x I just can’t shake off the sad feelings. It’s self loathing and resentment but I don’t know towards who? Myself I guess? It’s so horrible. My head is just not in the right place. Mostly I feel unworthy and undeserving of good things in general and now very demotivated on a much bigger level. Maybe since I’m turning 40 it’s just part of a midlife crisis? Haha


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    When I found out my 3rd boy was a boy I felt like the biggest nincompoop in the universe. I felt like such an idiot, I mean my older boys were nearly grown up, and I had taken a chance on getting a girl (even though I didn't even have a preference when I got pregnant!) and then I had to raise a baby for another 18 years after that! I kept thinking "but my uterus was only a few days from retirement!" LOL. Babies are a lot of work and even under ideal circumstances when we're pregnant we are often plagued by those feelings of OMGosh what have I done and then when we have GD it all gets tangled up together.

    I know it's hard to see when you're in it but some day this will make sense to you. My 4th boy is my child who's the most like me, he's bright and amazing and wonderful and I think sometimes "wow if I'd had my way I wouldn't have him at all" and it's terrifying!! It's just that it's hard to have those squooshy feelings about a theoretical person, you need to meet the real one.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by princessreader View Post
    Wow!!! Gosh I’m sorry to hear this. I’m wondering why you had such bad GD with two girls? I’m sure you have noticed that most of the women swaying on here are desperate for little girls. Including me!! but whatever your reasons I understand they must be valid. It’s good to hear that babies are not too affected by the mothers sadness. Cos that’s just even more of a reason to make us feel guilty. Maybe it’s true we most likely get the opposite of what we want in life


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    There are a lot of us on here who had strong desire for boys. The woman who founded the site wanted a boy, I desperately wanted a boy with my first and I'm quite sure would have had terrible GD if I never had a boy. I was just lucky enough that I got my boy first or I would have still been here swaying for blue!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    When I found out my 3rd boy was a boy I felt like the biggest nincompoop in the universe. I felt like such an idiot, I mean my older boys were nearly grown up, and I had taken a chance on getting a girl (even though I didn't even have a preference when I got pregnant!) and then I had to raise a baby for another 18 years after that! I kept thinking "but my uterus was only a few days from retirement!" LOL. Babies are a lot of work and even under ideal circumstances when we're pregnant we are often plagued by those feelings of OMGosh what have I done and then when we have GD it all gets tangled up together.

    I know it's hard to see when you're in it but some day this will make sense to you. My 4th boy is my child who's the most like me, he's bright and amazing and wonderful and I think sometimes "wow if I'd had my way I wouldn't have him at all" and it's terrifying!! It's just that it's hard to have those squooshy feelings about a theoretical person, you need to meet the real one.
    When I opened your message, I was right in the middle of sobbing my eyes out. I have some handy men here in the house who basically messed up on something and I lost the plot and burst into tears sobbing but also crying about everything I could possibly cry about in my life. I opened your message and it came at the right time because it reflected how I was actually feeling at the time. Like a failure. Why do we feel this way? Itís awful. Iím literally not going out because I canít bear the ďanother boy?!!Ē Comments from strangers like ďoh poor you, how unlucky ď etc etc..... Iím hiding away from the judgement of others . I never ever felt this way with my third boy. I may have had GD for two days that I quickly shook off but this time I am tormented by my own feelings about this. Maybe Iím projecting my own feelings about it? I probably feel worse because I went out of my way for a girl this time and even got a positive female gender test via urine before learning it was a boy. What goes up must come down I guess and I came down hard I did feel like my third boy was just such a blessing I am so close to him and canít even imagine anyone taking his baby space. Which is probably another reason why I fee so emotional too. God so many feelings catastrophic really. I do wonder why I put myself through it. I hate the fact that I feel so much shame all the time. As if I walk around with a big sign over my head that says ďmother of 4 boys! Look at her!Ē I have always been so good at organizing my life too. Planning and sticking to my plans and finishing what I start. But with this Iíve just made a mess and I have zero control over it. Itís new territory for me! Feeling so out of control.....


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  4. #14
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    so sorry you feel so down princessreader, the stupid comments people make are unbelieveable aren't they!! i once had a lady (total stranger) approach me in the supermarket when i had 4 boys to ask "did you not want a girl?" i'll admit i wasnt nice about it and told her "we had a girl but she died" (our 2nd baby DD1 was lost mid pregnancy) i probably shouldnt have said that..but it did shut her up!!
    i promise you these people make equally cruel and stupid comments towards mums of all girls. "oh your poor husband you need to give him a boy!" "all girls..good luck when the teenage years hit" "your house must be nothing but drama" etc etc.. i think they do it to make themselves feel better somehow.
    i had 4 boys in a row, then 2 girls and then my 5th son was born after the girls and everyone acted like id ruined my family by having another boy, ive just had my 6th son and this time it seems more accepted because he "pairs up" with DS5, if id had a girl no doubt it'd be "oh poor DS5 surrounded by girls." i still get constant comments on having a large family and my 2 girls being outnumbered though.
    People will find things to say no matter what, they would still comment if you had a girl, when we had DD2 after the 4 boys it was all "how is she going to fit in in this house of boys?!" "poor girl outnumbered by all those boys" "you've got to give her a sister" etc you arent having your family to please others so pay no attention to what they might think/say
    now 6blue3pink after 3 GD sways xx

  5. #15
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    But you know what though?? The thing is that families with all boys (or all girls too!) as they grow up, they become kind of legendary. In the school/neighborhood/town it's always "the Johnson boys" or whatever - all the girls want to date them. NO ONE feels sorry for you once you're past the very most baby stage. They start admiring you and even being jealous because your family is unique and interesting and theirs is boring, LOL. I think you're right that you are projecting what people are thinking about. No one cares, really. I never had a speck of gender disappointment/desire as I raised my first two boys and I did not care one iota about the gender makeup of anyone's family. I knew some people with all girls and some of all boys and I really didn't give it any burning thought at all. Even in a family where it was obvious they'd been going for a boy and gotten 6 girls - no one cared! They were just "the Landers girls" and everyone thought their family was interesting. It is just a lot less big a deal to other people than it is in our heads.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4blue2pink View Post
    so sorry you feel so down princessreader, the stupid comments people make are unbelieveable aren't they!! i once had a lady (total stranger) approach me in the supermarket when i had 4 boys to ask "did you not want a girl?" i'll admit i wasnt nice about it and told her "we had a girl but she died" (our 2nd baby DD1 was lost mid pregnancy) i probably shouldnt have said that..but it did shut her up!!
    i promise you these people make equally cruel and stupid comments towards mums of all girls. "oh your poor husband you need to give him a boy!" "all girls..good luck when the teenage years hit" "your house must be nothing but drama" etc etc.. i think they do it to make themselves feel better somehow.
    i had 4 boys in a row, then 2 girls and then my 5th son was born after the girls and everyone acted like id ruined my family by having another boy, ive just had my 6th son and this time it seems more accepted because he "pairs up" with DS5, if id had a girl no doubt it'd be "oh poor DS5 surrounded by girls." i still get constant comments on having a large family and my 2 girls being outnumbered though.
    People will find things to say no matter what, they would still comment if you had a girl, when we had DD2 after the 4 boys it was all "how is she going to fit in in this house of boys?!" "poor girl outnumbered by all those boys" "you've got to give her a sister" etc you arent having your family to please others so pay no attention to what they might think/say
    YES! A couple people came up to me after I had my daughter and said, right into her face, "WOW four brothers, I feel sorry for YOU!" (she of course was too small to understand, but the boys weren't!) Some people are just jerks who always want to rain on others' parade, and the best revenge is not letting them get under your skin.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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  8. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    YES! A couple people came up to me after I had my daughter and said, right into her face, "WOW four brothers, I feel sorry for YOU!" (she of course was too small to understand, but the boys weren't!) Some people are just jerks who always want to rain on others' parade, and the best revenge is not letting them get under your skin.
    thats exactly the kind of comments we got, oh poor her with all those brothers.. but i guarantee if i'd had another boy it would of been all negative comments about that. Even now with 2 girls 6 boys its still "the poor girls are so outnumbered" "you need to have more girls" "your mum needs to give you more sisters"
    your so right about not letting them get under your skin, i finally stopped caring what others think a while ago and have been much happier since they can only bother you if you allow it.

    dont they say that haters are just confused admirers anyway
    now 6blue3pink after 3 GD sways xx

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  10. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    But you know what though?? The thing is that families with all boys (or all girls too!) as they grow up, they become kind of legendary. In the school/neighborhood/town it's always "the Johnson boys" or whatever - all the girls want to date them. NO ONE feels sorry for you once you're past the very most baby stage. They start admiring you and even being jealous because your family is unique and interesting and theirs is boring, LOL. I think you're right that you are projecting what people are thinking about. No one cares, really. I never had a speck of gender disappointment/desire as I raised my first two boys and I did not care one iota about the gender makeup of anyone's family. I knew some people with all girls and some of all boys and I really didn't give it any burning thought at all. Even in a family where it was obvious they'd been going for a boy and gotten 6 girls - no one cared! They were just "the Landers girls" and everyone thought their family was interesting. It is just a lot less big a deal to other people than it is in our heads.
    I do love what you are saying. And itís very true. I look at larger families when they are grown up and do admire their dynamic. I feel like those households are so much more fun than ďa boy and a girlĒ and high seems ideal for when they are tiny. I also never cared when I had two boys. Even my third I was fine with. For some reason this one has creates so much distress and I hate that. I know Iím turning 40 and many people will also have an opinion about my age if I try to go for another one (or two) and that also bothers me. Yes Iím older but women do it. I really need to grow thicker skin donít I. Guess what ladies, thanks to all of your wonderful words I think I am


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  12. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4blue2pink View Post
    so sorry you feel so down princessreader, the stupid comments people make are unbelieveable aren't they!! i once had a lady (total stranger) approach me in the supermarket when i had 4 boys to ask "did you not want a girl?" i'll admit i wasnt nice about it and told her "we had a girl but she died" (our 2nd baby DD1 was lost mid pregnancy) i probably shouldnt have said that..but it did shut her up!!
    i promise you these people make equally cruel and stupid comments towards mums of all girls. "oh your poor husband you need to give him a boy!" "all girls..good luck when the teenage years hit" "your house must be nothing but drama" etc etc.. i think they do it to make themselves feel better somehow.
    i had 4 boys in a row, then 2 girls and then my 5th son was born after the girls and everyone acted like id ruined my family by having another boy, ive just had my 6th son and this time it seems more accepted because he "pairs up" with DS5, if id had a girl no doubt it'd be "oh poor DS5 surrounded by girls." i still get constant comments on having a large family and my 2 girls being outnumbered though.
    People will find things to say no matter what, they would still comment if you had a girl, when we had DD2 after the 4 boys it was all "how is she going to fit in in this house of boys?!" "poor girl outnumbered by all those boys" "you've got to give her a sister" etc you arent having your family to please others so pay no attention to what they might think/say
    You have been truly blessed with two girls after your four boys. Thatís lovely but I think siblings fit in no matter what. I was so close to my sister growing up so the idea of me maybe even having one more and it being a girl I do keep thinking well whatís the point if sheís going to be on her own? Maybe I shouldnít even bother. Having said that my eldest son is so desperate for a little sister. He tries not to ďmake me feel badĒ for having another boy. Itís funny and cute. People are so ready to throw comments. It just the last thing you need. Thatís why whenever I see a pregnant woman I will never ask what sheís carrying no matter what. Cos u have no idea what sheís going through. Gosh I donít know what Iíd do without the support I get on here. You guys really make my day. And I need it a lot atm. Thank you ladies


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  14. #20
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    I will say I worried a lot about that (daughter being on her own) and that has not been a problem at all. She fit right in and is really close with my 4th boy. Those two are closer than my 3rd and 4th boy, in fact it's my 3rd boy who is often the odd man out. Plus I just told myself it will be her and me on the girl team, LOL. She doesn't seem at all troubled by it and has never mentioned it feeling sad or anything.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    LOOKING FOR YOUR SWAY PLAN? Have you checked the coaching forum? It will be posted in the same place your questionnaire is! https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/completed-questionnaires-and-private-coaching-access/

    LE Diet Ideas Threads: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54174-brand-sparkly-pink-new-diet-thread-girl-sways.html and here:https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/54926-le-diet-thread.html?highlight=le+diet+meal+ideas

    LE Diet PCOS idea thread here: https://www.genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-to-conceive-a-girl/47264-le-diet-pcos.html

    PLEASE STOP SENDING ME SWAYING QUESTIONS VIA PRIVATE MESSAGE. Post swaying questions in the forums ONLY.

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