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    Mothers Sadness and Stress During Pregnancy and the affect on Baby

    We have been having a rough year or two and in recent months stress levels have gone through the roof. With looming business debt repayments hanging over us coupled with legal family cases that have really affected our day to day routine, I find myself breaking down and crying a lot. Iím not coping well with several things and pregnancy hormones donít help. I was just wondering, is it true what they say how babies are affected by sad and stressed mothers. I do find myself having very negative thoughts about the pregnancy itself at times thinking why did I do this to myself? And then feel awful for feeling that way. But Iíve been reading that babyís immune system is severely compromised by mothers stress as well as making them colicky and maybe even born premature. Anyone can shed any personal experience on this? I know with my second son I wasnít so happy about being pregnant and somewhat resented it and he is definitely the more tempered of my boys. So it does make me wonder and also makes me worry too.


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    I am so sorry you are sad. I fixed this post so it will show up now. Hoping others chime in to help you. Big hugs.
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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink View Post
    I am so sorry you are sad. I fixed this post so it will show up now. Hoping others chime in to help you. Big hugs.
    Thank you! X


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    We have ALL had pregnancies in which we had upset and sad emotions. That is totally normal - think about all the terrible things some people have to go to when they're pregnant! I was upset all the time with my 2nd boy because I was exposed to toxoplasmosis (and at first they thought I could have rabies!!) and he was much more mellow than my first. I think their personalities are just set in stone and aren't really affected by stuff like that. He was also not at all premature, LOL.
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    I happened to come on for the first time in awhile and saw your post, so this must be kismet.

    With my pregnancies that made it to full term, I had extreme antepartum depression. With my first, I found out gender and was miserable as I have extreme GD. Literally wanted to abort her and was pressured out of it by my DH. On top of that, we moved, DH got a new job, and I went through my hardest year of therapy yet as I dealt with my childhood sexual abuse for the first time.

    DD1 was a super happy baby and continues to be a happy kid, even when she's behaving like a three year old monster because she didn't get ice cream when she wanted. She's also verrrry attached to me: all despite every second of my pregnancy with her being filled with me not wanting her and just wanting to get my son.

    With my pregnancy with DD2, I didn't find out gender, and I had arguably worse antepartum depression: this time, I was pregnant after 8 miscarriages and two rounds of IVF that didn't give us healthy boys, my relationship with my husband had pretty much crumbled, my beloved dog died when I was 7 months pregnant, it was winter (and I always get Seasonal Affective Disorder) and I had debilitating back pain.

    DD2 is even happier than DD1. She's 7 months and I can probably count the times she's cried on two hands, and those were because she pooped or DD1 dropped a toy on her head! She is extremely mellow, happy, smiley with everyone, etc.

    Both my living kids are very independent as well with excellent immune systems (though I've nursed both exclusively, DD1 for 16 months and DD2 7+ months now). DD1 was very light birthweight wise, but probably because I was still working out a ton with her. Neither was colicky. And DD2 was nearly TWO WEEKS late -- even my midwives suspected it was how depressed I was keeping me from going into labor fully (so definitely no prematurity there).

    I hope this post helps. I read all those studies on maternal stress and sadness too and stressed further about what I was doing to my kids. They are SO the opposite of what those studies found that I've wondered if I'd get a difficult, colicky son after finally getting a boy and being happy!

    You need to just take care of you. Pregnancy does not eradicate your personhood. If you are depressed, get help for you ♡ And try not to stress about anything else. I know how hard it is. I do. Feel free to PM me.
    Last edited by Throwaway_panther; August 25th, 2019 at 08:20 AM.
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    i became really ill due to stress during my 5th pregnancy, im not a stress-head type person but when something happens to me that causes me stress/anxiety i get a bad stomach so i dont handle stress well physically and during that pregnancy i was under the most stress i've ever experienced and i was powerless to stop it. It caused my "bad stomach" to turn into me passing large amounts of blood multiple times a day (sorry for tmi) doctor could find no reason other than the extreme stress.
    despite all this baby was born at 40 weeks weighing 7lbs, perfectly healthy, very alert but chilled and continues to be perfectly happy and healthy now 5 years later.
    now 6blue3pink after 3 GD sways xx

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    Quote Originally Posted by nuthinbutpink View Post
    I am so sorry you are sad. I fixed this post so it will show up now. Hoping others chime in to help you. Big hugs.
    Thank you


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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    We have ALL had pregnancies in which we had upset and sad emotions. That is totally normal - think about all the terrible things some people have to go to when they're pregnant! I was upset all the time with my 2nd boy because I was exposed to toxoplasmosis (and at first they thought I could have rabies!!) and he was much more mellow than my first. I think their personalities are just set in stone and aren't really affected by stuff like that. He was also not at all premature, LOL.
    Thatís reassuring to hear. Although Iím sorry to hear about what you went through Glad he is okay x x x I just canít shake off the sad feelings. Itís self loathing and resentment but I donít know towards who? Myself I guess? Itís so horrible. My head is just not in the right place. Mostly I feel unworthy and undeserving of good things in general and now very demotivated on a much bigger level. Maybe since Iím turning 40 itís just part of a midlife crisis? Haha


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    Quote Originally Posted by Throwaway_panther View Post
    I happened to come on for the first time in awhile and saw your post, so this must be kismet.

    With my pregnancies that made it to full term, I had extreme antepartum depression. With my first, I found out gender and was miserable as I have extreme GD. Literally wanted to abort her and was pressured out of it by my DH. On top of that, we moved, DH got a new job, and I went through my hardest year of therapy yet as I dealt with my childhood sexual abuse for the first time.

    DD1 was a super happy baby and continues to be a happy kid, even when she's behaving like a three year old monster because she didn't get ice cream when she wanted. She's also verrrry attached to me: all despite every second of my pregnancy with her being filled with me not wanting her and just wanting to get my son.

    With my pregnancy with DD2, I didn't find out gender, and I had arguably worse antepartum depression: this time, I was pregnant after 8 miscarriages and two rounds of IVF that didn't give us healthy boys, my relationship with my husband had pretty much crumbled, my beloved dog died when I was 7 months pregnant, it was winter (and I always get Seasonal Affective Disorder) and I had debilitating back pain.

    DD2 is even happier than DD1. She's 7 months and I can probably count the times she's cried on two hands, and those were because she pooped or DD1 dropped a toy on her head! She is extremely mellow, happy, smiley with everyone, etc.

    Both my living kids are very independent as well with excellent immune systems (though I've nursed both exclusively, DD1 for 16 months and DD2 7+ months now). DD1 was very light birthweight wise, but probably because I was still working out a ton with her. Neither was colicky. And DD2 was nearly TWO WEEKS late -- even my midwives suspected it was how depressed I was keeping me from going into labor fully (so definitely no prematurity there).

    I hope this post helps. I read all those studies on maternal stress and sadness too and stressed further about what I was doing to my kids. They are SO the opposite of what those studies found that I've wondered if I'd get a difficult, colicky son after finally getting a boy and being happy!

    You need to just take care of you. Pregnancy does not eradicate your personhood. If you are depressed, get help for you ♡ And try not to stress about anything else. I know how hard it is. I do. Feel free to PM me.
    Wow!!! Gosh Iím sorry to hear this. Iím wondering why you had such bad GD with two girls? Iím sure you have noticed that most of the women swaying on here are desperate for little girls. Including me!! but whatever your reasons I understand they must be valid. Itís good to hear that babies are not too affected by the mothers sadness. Cos thatís just even more of a reason to make us feel guilty. Maybe itís true we most likely get the opposite of what we want in life


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    Quote Originally Posted by 4blue2pink View Post
    i became really ill due to stress during my 5th pregnancy, im not a stress-head type person but when something happens to me that causes me stress/anxiety i get a bad stomach so i dont handle stress well physically and during that pregnancy i was under the most stress i've ever experienced and i was powerless to stop it. It caused my "bad stomach" to turn into me passing large amounts of blood multiple times a day (sorry for tmi) doctor could find no reason other than the extreme stress.
    despite all this baby was born at 40 weeks weighing 7lbs, perfectly healthy, very alert but chilled and continues to be perfectly happy and healthy now 5 years later.
    Sorry to hear it x I have a similar reaction to stress with bad stomach so I do understand. Thanks for sharing your story. Iím glad you got a chilled babe. I was at the courts crying my eyes out over our case and a random woman came up to me and gave me tissues (very sweet) but then warned me not to cry if pregnant cos it results in a very difficult baby. So of course that had got me thinking and worrying x x x


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