Anyone have a child who is a terror?

[MatildaMai]

I am concerned that my neice has something that I am not sure of. One thing that really has me concerned about her being around my kids is her extreme violent tantrums. They last from 30min to 6hrs. What would cause that?

This is the main thing I noticed with my son. And it was caused by overstimulation of his senses. Certain situations would set him off, I didn't see the pattern until the OT explained it to me. But it was basically noisy places with bright lights and lots of movement - indoor swimming pool, supermarkets, shopping mall, fun fair, birthday parties - basically all the places you really DON'T want your kid to whig out! Or would expect them to have fun. The lights, noise, people, movement it was all too much sensory input and he would just meltdown. I found through trial and error that only thing that worked was holding him tight on my lap against my chest and humming or making a repetitive sound (which helped block all the stimuli). The usual advice (ignoring a tantrum or time out) is the WORST possible thing you can do to a kid with SPD. They can tantrum for hours if you do that and don't remove them from the situation that is causing the distress.

[Hobbermittens]

This is the main thing I noticed with my son. And it was caused by overstimulation of his senses. Certain situations would set him off, I didn't see the pattern until the OT explained it to me. But it was basically noisy places with bright lights and lots of movement - indoor swimming pool, supermarkets, shopping mall, fun fair, birthday parties - basically all the places you really DON'T want your kid to whig out! Or would expect them to have fun. The lights, noise, people, movement it was all too much sensory input and he would just meltdown. I found through trial and error that only thing that worked was holding him tight on my lap against my chest and humming or making a repetitive sound (which helped block all the stimuli). The usual advice (ignoring a tantrum or time out) is the WORST possible thing you can do to a kid with SPD. They can tantrum for hours if you do that and don't remove them from the situation that is causing the distress.

I haven't noticed this type of behavior with my DD. She is fine in stores, with groups of people, the pool, etc. But I have been researching SPD and there is a checklist for toddlers. She does have some (maybe about 20%) of the things they list. She melts down if things get changed up, like if someone sits in her chair, or in "her" spot on the couch (that reminds me of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory). She covers her ears at certain sounds, like crinkling of chip bags. She is addicted to her pacifier, so severely that she carries 3 or 4 around at a time. She wants to watch the same movies over and over and over (right now she's stuck on Nemo). She hates having her diaper changed and hates getting dressed.

I made an appointment with the Doctor for Friday, and hopefully they will give me a referral to the OT.

[purplepoet20]

My neice freaks out all the tim in public.... she hid in a tree for 4hrs during her 3rd birthday, she will play one minute and then start running (look of fear) for no reason toward a busy highway, she can only handle being around 2 kids at a time and only for about an hour, and when she is having a fit she looks like she is fighting the devil. Her parents do ignore her about 99% of the time and force her to do dance and music classes about 4 days a week.

What does SPD mean?

[Orchid]

SPD - Sensory Processing Disorder.

My son is OK in grocery stores or mall etc. But if we have a party at home he gets very hyper. Something to do with his space, may be. He hates any form of change in his routine. He does better with smaller play dates. He does better with more individual attention. He has this oral fixation , he is 3.5 and still puts non food items in his mouth land is constantly hungry, food calms him. Our OT suggested chewing objects or chewing gum. Funny, something silly like a chewing gum can make a world of difference to parents. Swinging calms him. So we go to a park and swing before we go to dinner. He would just scream loudly "for fun" in a restaurant before we figured that out. He necessarily need not run around to calm him, he needs some form of specific input to calm him. DS's is supposed to be a mild case of SPD.

Ofcourse some children might just be spirited or going through terrible twos. In our case his pre-school teacher asked us to have him evaluated for SPD, we started reading about it and it made sense. We had never heard of this before.

[MatildaMai]

I haven't noticed this type of behavior with my DD. She is fine in stores, with groups of people, the pool, etc. But I have been researching SPD and there is a checklist for toddlers. She does have some (maybe about 20%) of the things they list. She melts down if things get changed up, like if someone sits in her chair, or in "her" spot on the couch (that reminds me of Sheldon from Big Bang Theory). She covers her ears at certain sounds, like crinkling of chip bags. She is addicted to her pacifier, so severely that she carries 3 or 4 around at a time. She wants to watch the same movies over and over and over (right now she's stuck on Nemo). She hates having her diaper changed and hates getting dressed.

I made an appointment with the Doctor for Friday, and hopefully they will give me a referral to the OT.

OK - she sounds like my other twin. He has a different raft of issues, more anxiety based due to vestibular system issues (ie poor balance / gross motor skills) and a number of OCD type behaviours (thumb sucking, obsessed with tidyness, lines his cars up in rows according to colour, freaks if his brother rearranges the order). The pacifier addiction sounds like a comfort/anxiety behaviour and she may have some auditory sensitivity as well. And the dressing thing is a flag too. Constantly scratching at tags in clothing is often an issue as well. How is her balance? Is she clumsy? My younger twin used his thumb rather than the pacifier but in addition always carries something preferably a car, but a stick or whatever in his hand. He cannot leave the house without something otherwise his anxiety is too overwhelming. And he was exactly the same with watching the same DVD over and over again.

[LolaInLove]

Hobber, a good friend of mine has an ocd toddler (and my ex-husband was ocd), and those do sound like the symptoms. Like everyone has said, learning how to "handle" her and prep her for certain situations is totally key.

[Hobbermittens]

Thanks for all the input, everyone. I am interested to see what happens with the doctors.

I haven't noticed her caring about tags, but when I was a kid, I HAD to have them cut out of EVERYTHING. I know I hated wearing certain fabrics and my mom says I was really "high strung" and couldn't handle trips to the grocery store, etc because I would get over stimulated and freak out. I wonder if I had a form of this as a kid? I am totally fine now; The only fabric I don't like now is wool (it itches me) and I don't care about tags in my clothes. I actually really enjoy large groups of people, going to the store/mall/parties etc., so I obviously grew out of it. I never had any kind of therapy.

But, I am OCD. Not really bad; the doctor says I just have "tendencies" (I obsess over things and fixate on them).

[purplepoet20]

My younger brother and I both have OCD... tags and turtle necks were a big NO's. I can't wear long sleeve shirts even in winter but I only like wool sweaters. I wear tight pants but loose shirts mostly. But my big thing is numbers and list.


My neice is going to be 5 in May. Her parents have never taken her to a Dr and they will never get her tested for anything. She is a nose picker (and eats them), but I notice she only puts none food items in her mouth when her parents are close by, normally rocks and plants. They talk to her more when they are yelling at her about something. She doesn't get much attention so her social skills are not devoloped right for her age. Even at her birthday parties she is lucky to get 15mins from her parents and the parties are about 4-5hrs. I wonder if most of her problems are because of her parents or maybe them ignoring her is making her issues stand out more. Only my MIL, DH, and I talk about this because if we bring it up my neice's parents will never let us near her. I hope when she goes to a normal school this Fall the teacher will say something.

[LolaInLove]

Hobber, maybe you (and your daughter) are just both Type A personalities! But good thing you are taking her to the doc.

PP, that is sad about your niece's lack of attention from her parents. I am willing to bet that has a huge influence with her bad behavior.

[sixhappysons]

My DS5. He changed EVERYTHING!