Pregnant with 3rd and so Anxious!

[BabsNMK]

I just found out last week that I'm pregnant. I did a customized plan with Atomic and felt like I was really comfortable with it. Now that I'm pregnant however my anxiety is through the roof. I have a history of anxiety disorder but not with my previous two pregnancies so this kind of has caught me off guard. part of it is just anxiety over having a third child--like the financial stress especially. Then the other part is anxiety over losing this baby since I worked so hard to follow my plan and what if I have to do it again. And also anxiety over the baby being the gender I didn't sway for. I will eventually be ok if I have another boy but know myself well enough to know I'll be very disappointed.

Regardless I just feel kind of alone in all these feelings and was looking for some support or maybe that others feel the same.

[Floris]

I know the feeling! I had it with my 2nd son. I also swayed, but in the wrong way. I didn't buy an atomic plan. I would definitely do that now if I would sway again.

You have done everything you can for this to work! You have done your best. If this is a boy, would you be able to sway for a fourth baby? I found comfort in knowing I can have more babies.

Financially it usually sorts it self out. We have very low income, but a rich life. Perhaps you can talk to someone professional?

I would like to to say. You're not alone! You can't do anything to change anything now. Try to exercise and sleep. That might help. And I will cross my fingers for that your sway worked and that the embryo stuck!

[BabsNMK]

Thanks Floris. This is just crazy to me. I'm tearing up as I read your message because I just feel like it's bound to fail. I'm such a negative person and I actually was feeling great prior to getting pregnant. But now I'm so tired all the time that the idea of even exercising (which I was doing a ton of) is overwhelming. Maybe that's part of the problem.

[atomic sagebrush]

I think it's largely that big rush of hormones. I had one of my pregnancies that I was super anxious the entire time pretty much from the moment I saw the two lines right through till he was like 4 years old

Finances I agree do tend to work themselves out. Eventually haha. The nice thing about the modern world is that you can sit at home and have fun watching Netflix and have some ramen for dinner. I know it's not that easy of course, but just that I think we are sold a bill of goods that you ahve to have a lot of "things" and do a lot of super expensive stuff to be a happy family and have happy kids but you don't really.

As for baby's gender - remember, you really can't "lose" - either you get another beautiful baby boy to snuggle on or a girl. Either way it is a successful, happy ending. I think we get so focused on what we're doing here, we sometimes forget that no matter what, a new wonderful person is going to come our way and that is nothing short of a miracle no matter what is between their legs.

[GirlieCat]

Hi Babs,

I am 10weeks pregnant and I understand it is hard not to let all the emotions overwhelm you. You are pregnant- yeah!! That is the first hurdle and something a lot of ladies on this site are desperately trying for so I try to remember that.
I love Floris' advice that you can't do anything to change anything now. Babies gender is set. I of course still wonder and worry about gender but I shake it off quickly because I know worrying doesn't help or change anything. When I find out gender, if it is opposite, then I will melt down but I can't let it consume me yet.

I also understand the fear of miscarriage- every woman probably does. I wonder what is going on in there that I can't see and even told DH today that I wish I could just hear the heartbeat today so I know it is still alive but even that thought passed quick because I know I can't. I just have to trust my body to tell me (spotting or whatever) if something is wrong. Until I know otherwise, I assume everything is good and take it day by day and am thankful for each day I am still pregnant because I know these delicate first weeks are scary.
The reality of loss is real, but you can't control that or prevent it and if you focus on that it will eat you alive. Focus on what you can control- start eating right, trying to rest, taking your vitamins and doing something to make you happy and hopeful. I have been so sick with nausea that being happy has been hard so I set small things to look forward to, like this weekend we are decorating for Xmas which I love.

Day by day honey. That is all any of us can do regardless of where we are at in the TTC, swaying, gender disappointment, pregnancy or mommy journey.

[BabsNMK]

Thank you all for chiming in. My mother is a psychologist so of course I hear all about thinking positively and rational thinking and that his really is a byproduct of hormones...but it's much easier to hear support from other people. This will be our last so even though it was hard to get over the GD last time, I know this time I'm done. I'll truly be ok as long as baby is healthy. There are so many less important things that just don't matter.

I think I have such trouble with being out of control. And actually the only time I've let things slide was when the baby was conceived because I figured it would be ok no matter how long it took. That's not my norm. I have trouble just relaxing. But that's where I guess I have to train myself to be.

Btw-I've referred to the baby multiple times already as he...so clearly in my mind it's already a done deal (even though it's not).

[Pink Pony]

Hi Babs,

Sending you lots of positive energy. Anxiety is so nasty and when you are someone who tries to control everything in life, including the gender of your baby, you find yourself in a downward spiral. It's so hard to feel like you should be grateful and blessed when the fear in your mind it saying something else. Take one day at a time and focus on things that u an control. Take care