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  1. #1
    Dreamer

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    unexpected pregnancy (sensitive comment warning)

    Hello,

    It's been a very long time since I was on this site.
    Back in 2018/19 I had two little boys and was swaying for a girl. I didn't everything I could but my sway failed and I had another little boy 6 months ago.

    I felt so depressed and although I cant imagine not having him now there are days that I still long for a daughter.

    I have just found out that i am pregnant 6months postpartum. Totally unexpected but i guess i should have been more careful. I EBF and my periods are sporadic.

    It was never the plan to have a forth and I'm not sure how id cope with 4 children. especially as my youngest would only be 15months old when this one is born.
    My partner doesn't want any more children and i just can't go through it all again for another boy.

    There was no sway (not that I believe swaying works for me, maybe I have too many boy traits) I have been eating a lot, under a lot of stress as we moved house just as lockdown hit, we only DTD once on what i'm guess was O day. We've been drinking in the evenings (but red wine) and not lost any baby weight from my last pregnancy, Zero exercise because of lockdown restrictions and generally being a knackered mum of 3 under 5.

    I'm so confused and worried.

    Is there anyway of finding out gender earlier than 10week NIPT test?

    I hope there is someone out there that understand my predicament.

    Thank you
    SX

  2. #2
    Swaying Advice Coach
    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    DTD once, stress, being exhausted, close child spacing, breastfeeding, and drinking (even red wine) all sway pink. Not to mention, those with boy personalities often do better not planning pregnancies as the planning aspect may sway strongly blue, so you had the unexpected nature of the conception working for you too. You are absolutely in it with a chance of a girl.

    There is no reliable way of telling gender other than the NIPT. You may be able to do it earlier than 10 weeks, though. Some have done it at 9 or even 8 weeks - it may be less reliable but they can tell you if they get enough fetal DNA to be accurate. Another possibility is to have the clinical Sneak Peek test which can be done sooner (you have to do this at a lab) but it is less reliable. Good luck and no matter what, wishing you peace of mind.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  4. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    DTD once, stress, being exhausted, close child spacing, breastfeeding, and drinking (even red wine) all sway pink. Not to mention, those with boy personalities often do better not planning pregnancies as the planning aspect may sway strongly blue, so you had the unexpected nature of the conception working for you too. You are absolutely in it with a chance of a girl.

    There is no reliable way of telling gender other than the NIPT. You may be able to do it earlier than 10 weeks, though. Some have done it at 9 or even 8 weeks - it may be less reliable but they can tell you if they get enough fetal DNA to be accurate. Another possibility is to have the clinical Sneak Peek test which can be done sooner (you have to do this at a lab) but it is less reliable. Good luck and no matter what, wishing you peace of mind.
    Thanks Atomic, I think that it was a very similar situation to my first pregnancy and we still had a boy, only difference is that i'm 7 years older at 39 now.

    I know that there is always hope but I can't imagine us ever having a girl.

    Do people with 4 kids find it much harder than 3? or that such a small gap easier or harder? I'd have 4 under 6 years old.

  5. #4
    Dream Vet

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    Hi Sonnygirl!
    I had a surprise pregnancy at 6 months pp almost 3 years ago and 4 is definitely not any harder than 3. In fact mine are 14 months apart and they adore each other dearly and I can't imagine them not having each other.

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  7. #5
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    unexpected pregnancy (sensitive comment warning)

    You have a great shot for pink! I got pregnant with 1 attempt while breastfeeding my 10.5 month old DS. This resulted in my first girl after 3 boys!!!

    It was hard having the babies 19 months apart, but it goes by so quickly. They are now 8 years old and 9 years old (he will be 10 on Sunday). I can not believe how fast it went!! I had 4 under 7.

    Pink dust


    3 blue 3 pink

    Due January 29th
    Thank you God and Our Lady
    - 2005 - 2007 - 2010 - 2012 - 2013 - 2016

    Due January 2021

    Dec '12, Feb '13, July '15

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  9. #6
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    Hi Sonnygirl
    Ive had my kids really close together, 9 pregnancies in 9 years. 1 mid-pregnancy loss and 8 full term babies
    i found the transition from 2-3 to be the hardest. From #4 onwards they just slot right in, there isnt any big adjustment anymore.
    age gap wise the smallest gap we have is 13m the biggest is 19m, i love small age gaps, it can be hard when you have 2 very little ones the worst thing is if both are screaming at the same time.
    But in lots of ways its pretty practical, pair them up and sort them together. My youngest 2 are curently age 2 and 10m and if im doing a nappy change i do both of them, same for bath time i bath those 2 together. Same for the mornings i sort them as a pair
    seeing them grow up so close in age is amazing
    As mommymachine said they arent in the super needy baby/toddler stage for long. I dont even notice or "feel" the closeness of the age gaps between my older ones now (10,8,7,6,5,3) as they are out of the baby stage (no nappies etc) and dont cause me that extra double-load of work anymore.
    I hope this little one is your girl
    I have everything crossed for this to be your girl, and i hope that you can
    now 6blue5pink

  10. #7
    Dream Vet

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    Good luck for a girl sonny!
    Your lifestyle and bd timing sounds just like mine was last time so you have every chance. I would do the NIPT. Sneak peek is from 8 weeks so maybe NIPT is too?
    2013
    2016
    2019

  11. #8
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sonnygirl View Post
    Thanks Atomic, I think that it was a very similar situation to my first pregnancy and we still had a boy, only difference is that i'm 7 years older at 39 now.

    I know that there is always hope but I can't imagine us ever having a girl.

    Do people with 4 kids find it much harder than 3? or that such a small gap easier or harder? I'd have 4 under 6 years old.
    Swaying is one of those things where everything can seem the same and you still get a different outcome. that's because it's like an iceberg - the stuff we see is minuscule compared to the stuff under the water, and of course additionally there's a huge element of luck involved so even if, somehow, magically,you were able to recreate the circumstances exactly (impossible, of course) you would still have a huge amount of luck coming into play.

    I found my smaller age gap easier than my bigger one. You will be sort of "all in" as a parent for a short time, but as the kids get older they do grow out of that hard phase and then it gets WAY easier since they can all play together. Plus, I find very much that the independence they're forced to learn early really benefits them later on. My two boys who were spaced far apart are much less self-starters than my younger three who were closely spaced. It can work, although it's going to be hard for a year or so.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

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  12. #9
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    Thanks ladies, i'm just in shock. We find three hard at the moment because my middle son is quite a challenging child. He's obsessed with his baby brother but not always in a nice way and I find it so tiring trying to keep them safe and happy.

    I also feel stupid, I know I shouldn't care but i keep thinking about what everyone will think! they will know it was a surprise baby.
    I never planned on four

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  14. #10
    Swaying Advice Coach
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    Quote Originally Posted by mommymachine View Post
    You have a great shot for pink! I got pregnant with 1 attempt while breastfeeding my 10.5 month old DS. This resulted in my first girl after 3 boys!!!

    It was hard having the babies 19 months apart, but it goes by so quickly. They are now 8 years old and 9 years old (he will be 10 on Sunday). I can not believe how fast it went!! I had 4 under 7.

    Pink dust


    3 blue 3 pink

    Due January 29th
    girl how is this even possible!!!!! OMGosh feels like just yesterday
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

    If you appreciate my help with your sway plan, please consider a donation:

    https://www.paypal.com/donate?hosted_button_id=C92U9TVWTRTDQ

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