My Successful Failure!

[purplepoet20]

I tried very hard for a girl but my heart was never 100% in it. I was very happy to hear the news of another boy when I was 36wks along, he hid every time before that.

Early on the ultrasound showed a 2nd sac. The sac did grow through out the pregnancy and showed something in it with no heartbeat. After Anthony was born we did learn that he was a twin. Since the sac still contained an 8wk fetus the Dr ordered some testing. All that showed was girl dna. I tried to keep all this from my husband but he found out when the lab sent a letter to the house with the results.

Husband has been very heartbroken since. We have not told anyone in our family at all because we don’t want Anthony to know that he had a sister. Sometimes we think he sees something maybe it’s the same thing I see every time I look at our pictures… The lil girl I have dreamt about for awhile now. I knew I would only have 1 of the babies but I wish it would have been both.

My husband talks about having another baby but I think it is only because of the loss we had. I am currently attending school again so I could return to work. I love staying home but I never planned to continue staying home when all kids are in school. I told my husband that when I return to work maybe he could stay home for a few years and return to school to change careers… maybe then I will have another baby and he can be the stay at home dad. He said he would like that so he can be the one to have that baby bond.

[nuthinbutpink]

Well, congratulations on your son! And I am very sorry about his twin. I think it is okay to tell him and others. It might help so you don't have to keep that bottled up. Let people support you like we do on here. There is no shame in the loss.

Good for you for going back to school!! Welcome back!!

[hotdogz&boyz]

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your girl twin. Losses of any kind are hard, but I think twins is a little extra heartbreaking because we have that reminder of what we "could" have had in the surviving sibling.

We also lost a twin with our younger son. We believe they were identical though, based on early sonogram placement and the fact that it reabsorbed into the sac/wall after he/she passed. I was very sad about it at first, but I think it was just how things we supposed to be. Strangely enough, the twin that was "stronger" at my first and second sonograms was the one who ended up passing, while the "weaker" twin has become my strong, bruising little guy. We chose, however, to not hide the fact that he was a twin. I believe that it might be important for him to know at some point. My aunt lost her twin sister 4 days after they were born (also identical) and she says she dreams about her often and sometimes feels her presence despite the fact that she didn't live long. So we are chosing to make it common knowledge. However, such a decision is very personal, so I understand making a different one.

I think it is pretty cool to "switch roles" with your husband down the road. What a neat way to really experience both sides of things. It sounds like you have things worked out pretty well. I also think it's great that you are going back to school. I want to do that one day in the future.

Good luck with everything!

[Waiting4Daisy]

Deleted.

[Petal]

Aww sorry to hear that :-( Im sure your little boy will help ease the pain of the loss of his sibling and that in time to come you will have a girl :-) x

[3littleladies]

Im sorry to hear that.
I know how it feels to try so hard for a certain gender and to have it fail, but I believe we have certain genders for a reason & hopefully one day you can add a little girl to your family, until then enjoy your beautiful boys.

[rainbowflower]

congratulations on your little boy, and sorry for your loss that must be bittersweet for you
I have to say I'm surprised you had a boy, I remember talking to you when we were both pregnant and I really thought girl for you (but also felt girl for myself and was wrong there as well)