I woke up sweating this morning. I had dreamt that I found out I was carrying another boy through the most bizarre means possible. DH and I had accidentally time traveled to a future about 7 months from now, and I saw a boy. It was SO weird! I was 7 weeks pregnant, just like I am now, but I was looking at my son. I alternated between devastation and denial. I told DH that maybe it was an alternative future, and that the baby I'm carrying wasn't the one we were looking at. Then, a moment later, ...

I've all but convinced myself that this can't happen to me. When I think about having a daughter, it's the same day-dreamlike musing of someone contemplating winning the lottery. I think of all the wonderful aspects of not worrying and being depressed about it anymore, about the elation and ecstasy of finding out that my dream came true, of telling other people how I was SO lucky to get what I wanted most in the world... and then I come back to reality.

After making three boys, ...

After days of super faint, barely there, is-it-or-isn't-it-a-BFPs, I finally have one I'm confident in. This morning's 12dpo POAS was still faint, but visible without squinting at it in the sunlight.

DH was not happy, but he accepts it. I also told him that my BFP was a lot darker at this point with both our DSs, so I don't know what that means. I hope this isn't a missed miscarriage or something equally sad.

So, it's a BFP. I'm finally pregnant. After a year ...

I did my attempt last night... and MAN am I going to pay for it!

DH suddenly, despite the fact that I have been dieting for 3 months, thought about when my due date would be if we tried this month and he flipped out! Not because we'd have a baby close to Xmas, but because we go for our annual "adults only" cabin trip in early December, and he immediately thought we should skip the next THREE MONTHS of TTC so that we could have one last cabin trip before a baby. Nevermind ...

I genuinely feel bad. Today is DH's birthday. I assumed, based on everything I had been looking at, my cycle, and how Fertility Friend predicted it, that I'd be getting a +OPK tomorrow or Sunday. Nope! I just took one that was just a hair lighter than control, which means if my morning one was ALMOST positive, my afternoon one is highly likely to be positive. My EWCM is also drying up, so I'm pretty sure it's tonight or not at all this month.

DH does not want another kid. He ...