Two weeks until Lillian's born...

Rate this Entry
It is two weeks until baby Lillian will be born via a scheduled c-section on Sept. 12th around 2 pm.

I cannot believe my odyessy of having a daughter is finally coming full circle. I have dreamt of my little girl(s) since I was a little girl myself. I had a strong intution when I was a girl that I would have daughter(s). I never saw my sons in my future, but of course, I am so glad they found their way to me.

Part of my saga with wanting a girl has to deal with my best friend growing up. She was two and a half years younger than me, and we met when she was three and I was five through our older brothers. She lived at the end of the street.

Because she had a stormy upbringing, part of my task in our friendship was I tried to help her make good decisions, I tried to support and guide her. We stayed best friends until our teen years, when our interests just became too diverse, but what I really remember about our friendship was the endearing sense of protectiveness and wanting to help her grow.

I remember all the times her Mom said terrible things to her and I'd try to soothe her. I'd brush her very bright red hair, and tell her she was beautiful, even when her mother said she was not. We would have sleepovers, and just talk in bed for hours about what our future would be like. Most of the time we fantasized about marrying a rock star, or how glamourous of a house we'd have. She said she never wanted children because of how awful her Mom and her got along, and I always knew I wanted children, and I said I wanted four because I was one of four, but in my vision, it was four girls!

She was the first person outside of my actual family that I loved with all my heart, and really cared about. When she went off a deep end in high school, and I could not follow her down the path, it left me miserable and sad for a while. I didn't want to lose our friendship; she was closer to me than my own two sisters, but I could not continue as it was. She taught me that you cannot control people, and you cannot make them do the right things, you can try to help them, but they have to make decisions for themseleves. I guess you could say it was my first real heartbreak.

Now, we are Facebook friends who barely talk. I've tried to reach out to her here and there, but it all fizzles. She's married to the boy down the street who we used to chase around and try to abuse, lol, so that's kind of funny. They have two beautiful daughters, and once she had her second daughter, it really hit it hard for me how much I longed to have a little girl for myself. (I didn't have kids yet.)

She always told me that I'd make a great mother, that I was very giving, very selfless. So while I always tried to boost her self-esteem and encourage her, she also encouraged me a lot too.


  1. atomic sagebrush's Avatar
    I am so happy and excited for you!!!!! Wishing you the very best of luck for easy and safe labor!!! Can't wait for little Lillian to arrive!!
  2. Myloves's Avatar
    What a sweet post :o. I can't wait to see beautiful baby Lillian!
  3. Yuzu's Avatar
    Lillian is here! And so beautiful!:awe:
  4. auroara78's Avatar
    Ahh thanks everyone