I am waiting for August's AF to arrive and then begin my Estrogen Priming Protocol. I am so afraid that I am not doing enough of doing things that could mess up my cycle. I am scared. What if this doesn't work ..then what..what am I left to do...how will I feel. How will I ever get over the pain of not having a dd when all I have been doing is holding out hope for IVF to work. Am I in denial? do I really have a good shot at this? I have been waking up now in the middle of the night thinking about all of this again and it is so NOT fun! It is beginning to creep back into my everyday thinking because for a while I took a break to just ease my mind, ease my pain of it not working 2x and most of all to get back to just being me and enjoying my boys! why does this have to be so hard?