Hi all. I'm sad to say that I wont be around for much longer and for quite a long time. I know I have said before in posts that I plan to have internet breaks but this time I will be asking DP to change my password and not tell me. I wanted to hang around a while longer so I could see the New Zealand ladies cycles and sway attempts and also for the arrival of Adia's little boy and Oceans FET two to name a few but I have to do what is best for me. I can not TTC my girl for quite some time. Maybe not for 2-3 years and when I log on lately I only feel pain afterwards as much as I love this forum and do not want to leave. When I see people get their DGs now I only feel like "that will never be me" and when I see others who get opposites or have failed cycles I think 'gosh that will be awful when it is my turn to go through it." And I end up feeling more pain over not having my girl than before. It was hard to quit Facebook but I did it over half a year ago and just don't feel the need anymore and Gender Dreaming has become my replacement but I know it is time to move on for now too. ( I never plan to return to facebook)

I don't want to go into too much detail but I need to live a simple and 'real' life so I will be going internet free apart from email which I will check once a week when DP is home so I am not tempted and I will even be deleting my Trade me account! I have ADD and need to work hard to be and stay happy and can not afford any extra distractions and know it is for the best.

The plan: We will definitely be having another child. DP agrees 100% and understands my GD by imagining our situation in reverse. He said if he had 6 daughters he knows he would long for a son. This makes me so happy! But we can not try for a while due to other important things in our life including money but thanks to a new oppertunity that shouldn't be as much of an issue in a few years. Plus I know I am too busy right now and need a break from raising young children.
A big age gap was not what I wanted but it has made me realise that if I am less busy in a few years (and have more money) then we might even have two more children so the last one has a close age play mate. Annnnd, that I could try swaying before HT! I know HT is recommended first if it is an option but do not worry, I am only 27 so if we ended up having another boy in a few years I'd still only be early 30s when when it came to do HT. I never got to try swaying and feel like HT really should be the last straw.

It feels more right for me to be able to try swaying first as I still have some issues with HT but if I am not blessed with my daughter next time then I will do the exetreme to get what I want.
DP and I have three sons including identical twins and their conceptions plus what it sounds like from his other three sons conceptions seem to echo alot of what blue swayers do which gives me hope.

I wish I could get my daughter now but I can't so I just need to get on with life in the mean time. When I just get on with things I am alot happier instead of thinking about things too much.

So best of luck to all the lovely ladies on this forum in their sways/cycles and in life and I can't wait to see who is still here in three years.
This is such a special forum that holds a special place in my heart. A special thanks to Atomic Sagebrush (coolest forum name ever!) and Nuthin But Pink for answering so many questions for me and thanks for the support from them and other amazing and members including a few names that stick out that I don't want to list in case I forget any!

Lots of love from,
Emma xo Mum to the best three little boys in the world <3 (for me of coarse ;) )