mydream

Just want to cry

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..that is how I feel this morning....after waking up at 1:30 in the morning with anxiety and being up for 3 hours total before going to bed..tossing and turning...crying...going online.....I am just numb today. I know some of this may be PMS but so much of it is old feelings of 2 failed cycles creeping in...wondering if this is it? is this the cycle that will bring me my dd or is this the cycle that breaks me ...that ends up being a failure and I have to walk away with nothing? I just don't know. I sometimes think that God put HT in my path for a reason and then bam it hits me...that maybe God just doesn't think I am cut out to be a good mom to a girl... I wish there was just a simple answer to all of this...I used to think that answer was IVF but that clearly wasn't true for me...or at least not yet !
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