mydream

  1. when is enough ...enough?

    I know that answer is so different for all of us.
    For me it came after my 3rd cycle that didn't work.
    I feel like ever since then..God has been sending me little reminders of how truly grateful I should be, how truly blessed I am. I am glad to get these little jolts of reality every now and then so that I don't stay stuck in the past. Its funny because for the last year HT was an obsession, a focus, something to think about, post about every day, numerous times per day, now I find ...
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  2. what comes next?

    Do any of us really know what comes next in life...we don't! We plan, we think we are prepared and yet we are not.
    Yesterday I was at a birthday party and learned that a woman within the circle of my friends - her husband died suddenly, young and left behind 2 beautiful children and a wife. How does she go on? God knows, I think at times I couldn't go on without a daughter? that just seems so unfair of me at times. One would think that puts life in perspective. At times, it does and at times ...

    Updated January 23rd, 2012 at 12:48 PM by mydream

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  3. Realizing what is important in my life

    Sometimes it takes something going wrong to realize what's really important in your Life. After 3 failed HT attempts in my quest for a girl, I could barely get out of bed for days , was saddened and truly unable to see all the good the universe has given me. since that last cycle I had a health issue that scared me enough to realize that my desire for a dd is just not as important and not all consuming as it was. Is the desire still thee - yes, will I sway- yes but I am beginning to come to a place ...
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  4. I am just so sad

    After 3 long cycles of IVF and getting one 24 chromosome normal girl for FET, my journey has ended. I have gotten the dreadful BFN on HPT. I am going for beta tomorrow with little hope that some divine intervention will take over.
    At this point, I have been sobbing for 2 days. 1 day I just stayed in bed the entire day. Why me? why didn't this work. Talk about a blow to your self esteem. Here I had this normal embryo put into an optimal lining and nothing. Now all I get to do is walk away ...
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  5. Just want to cry

    ..that is how I feel this morning....after waking up at 1:30 in the morning with anxiety and being up for 3 hours total before going to bed..tossing and turning...crying...going online.....I am just numb today. I know some of this may be PMS but so much of it is old feelings of 2 failed cycles creeping in...wondering if this is it? is this the cycle that will bring me my dd or is this the cycle that breaks me ...that ends up being a failure and I have to walk away with nothing? I just don't know. ...
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