My parents phoned tonight to see how I was - I couldn't talk to my mum, she's too blunt and the first thing she said when we told her about Evelyn being seriously ill was "well, youre going to have to abort aren't you." She was calling for two things, to make sure that we didn't think we could raise a disabled child and to make sure we weren't carrying on, and to tell me my gran back in Spain, who was recently hospitalised after falling and breaking her collar bone, wasn't expected to last the weekend.

I feel like I'm in a surreal dream, I just wish I'd wake up.