This site is my new Facebook

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I realized I now check this site many times a day. And Facebook a couple times a month at best. And for me, that's healthy. Facebook never makes me happy. Occasionally I'm interested in an article or quote someone posts - recently there was a 10 secrets of happy couples list that I liked. But by and large I leave Facebook sadder than I was before. It's an obvious trigger and I'm happier for checking it less.

I wonder how I will feel when I'm really getting close HT wise - will I feel sad checking this site, depending on how my own journey is going. There's an emotion-laden balance of joy and sadness in reading about others' statuses.

Oops that's me thinking too many steps ahead again! Back to my current step: awaiting AF! Focus mama focus! :)

Mostly though this site is a widely extended family though - it's a safe, welcoming place I'm thankful to have. And I can access it from absolutely anywhere.


  1. nuthinbutpink's Avatar
    The average person on here spends over 8 minutes each time they visit. That may not sound like much, but it is almost as much as time spent on FB and people spend more time on FB than any other website! You are not alone. At least you are in good company on here!
  2. Petal's Avatar
    When I see people getting their DG on fb it does make me sad, why should they get what they want after what so many of us struggle to achieve? I hear you on that one!
    But on this site its different, we are all here because we have struggled, we all want the same outcome and some of us have to climb hurdle after hurdle and some finally reach their goal, I always feel happy for those ladies because I know how much it means to them. I still haven't got my DD but it always makes me smile when others on here do :-) im not giving up on my DD and I don't think I ever will :-) good luck to you and your journey x x
  3. Adia's Avatar
    Holy smokes! You typed the words right out of my keyboard! I completely agree. I always leave FB much sadder than I got on.
    Gender Dreaming has become one of my havens! Somehow I feel among friends here and I log on for fellowship and comfort. Life's journey is always sweeter with friends along the way!
  4. ocean's Avatar
    Petal - You're so right - it means so much to the women on here, they (we!) deserve it so much, and it feels like we all win when one of us gets our DG. Good luck to you too on your journey! Look forward to cheering you on on your HT journey too!

    Adia - Feel like we have such a similar outlook on things! Fellowship is the right way to say it. I feel less alone, and I feel surrounded and comforted. We are in this together!
  5. Sosi's Avatar
    Hi girls...can I join the HT party? I've decided to do IVF/PGD for a girl. I am hoping to cycle in Feb if my Estrogen levels go down! I have felt so incredibly alone through this process and its just starting. I really have no one at all to talk to about it except for DH and he is barely on board. We've made the decision to not tell anyone. I did tell my Mom because I will need her help to watch my 3 boys during the mornings when I have to get my US's and blood-work. Unfortunately she doesn't really understand any of this so I can't really discuss with her either. I secretly confided in a friend that I was thinking about it and when her advice was for me not to move forward with it, I told her we decided against it. So...I just joined this site in hopes of sharing experiences and gaining support. I have so many mixed emotions. I feel like it's all so sneaky and that's not me. I'm sad that I am doing this to my body when I don't technically have to and at the same time I am so excited about the chance of getting pregnant with a daughter after having three sons.
    Hope you all can relate.
  6. ocean's Avatar
    Hi Sosi and welcome!! I felt alone before starting too - very. And it felt unnatural and I felt guilty and selfish. Who was I to seemingly put gender of a maybe-future-child over every other factor in our lives? I felt a lot of guilt for saying through my actions that I didn't want another beautiful little boy. It felt UNBELIEVABLE that I was actually going to do this. I was going to stick myself with shots. I was going to go to all of these appointments. I was not going to tell anyone but my DH. Not my mom or friends (one of whom I'm almost positive has done this) or anyone. It felt crazy.....and I felt that right up until probably my 3rd day of meds and the first u/s I had while on meds.

    And at that appointment, when things (specifically my follicles) ere moving slower than my expectations (as our expectations are almost always higher than reality here) -- right then it kicked in how MUCH I wanted this to work. That's what people mean when they talk about the 'roller coaster' - at least, it's what I mean. It's the excitement and determination followed by guilt and denial followed by massive longing followed by thrills of good results and deep forecasting sadness from seemingly 'poorer' results. It's 'mixed emotions' to the N-th degree.

    So yes, I can completely relate.

    My advice - you'll be happier later for the fewer people you told. I like having NO ONE ask me how this is going. Even my DH doesn't ask, I just tell him what I want to tell him. I tell everything to the women on this site - sometimes sooner than I tell DH :) - and this is my new community, my new support structure, my REAL support structure. Because few people out there IRL are going to understand like we understand. And we'll never judge. And if you ever regret telling us, you can just stop logging in. It's not like you have to look at your friend IRL forever knowing it either didn't or didn't work.

    Point is, I no longer feel secretive or sneaky in the SLIGHTEST. This is my dream, this is my heart, this is me going after the life I want, this is me reaching for those dream-like images that play in my head. This is also something I'm doing FOR my DH and FOR my DSs, so they experience a daughter and a sister. This is also me doing something now so I can't regret NOT doing it in 5+ years when I'm no longer able to have kids.

    This has nothing to do with anyone else. You're not being sneaky. You're being realistic and cautious and taking things step by step...you're in early days. ENJOY that excitement at the idea of being pregnant with a daughter after 3 sons. You deserve it, mama!

    Really look forward to talking more Sosi!
  7. Sosi's Avatar
    Thanks so much! I needed that:)