ocean

  1. Avoiding GDe Triggers… and other safety warnings

    Here's what's working for me this month. I'm in a much better place now, but I'm still human and GDe triggers can distract me from my happiness.

    1. No royal baby stuff. I check People.com less now and close the page if there's a royal baby mention. I don't read royal baby threads on this site. In good news, where I live, interest quickly waned.

    2. Keep my eyes on my own children, esp when I'm out with them. I've been saying this for a while but actually DOING ...

    Updated May 21st, 2015 at 09:05 AM by ocean

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  2. How deep GDe travels (and for DH, too)

    DH and I had a 'talk' last night. I was feeling very, very down about the upcoming FET and I didn't hold back when he asked what was wrong. He said "Is this all because you want a daughter THAT much?" which of course stung, especially since we're a couple years into this effort.

    But later he said what he keeps thinking about is that he couldn't 'give me a girl' and that it's his fault this is all happening. My DH is the sweetest, strongest, most devoted DH and daddy, ...

    Updated March 12th, 2015 at 03:01 PM by ocean

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  3. Deep dread for FET #2

    Woke up this morning with a heavy heart. You know that feeling….the head-bowing, rounded shoulder, already-sunk feeling that takes up your whole chest.

    I'm preparing for FET #2. I'm not really imagining any outcome right now - it working or not - because the first I can't believe is possible, and the second makes me want to throw up.

    If it doesn't work, there will be so very much to regret. If it does work…. well, I can't even complete the sentence. That path ...

    Updated March 11th, 2015 at 11:23 PM by ocean

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  4. Surprise! A friend is having my DG

    A friend I barely see surprised me by email a week ago - she's finally pregnant (yeah! after years of trying!). I congratulate her! She writes back and we're giddy as school girls again! She's farther along than I realized! And then pinned at the end of her next mail is "Oh and it's a girl!"

    Yep. That particular flush of heat and emotion we all know so well goes coursing through my body. An instant mind-altering flash, followed by stark reality. The conversations ...

    Updated February 16th, 2015 at 05:37 PM by ocean

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  5. I dreamed I gave birth to my DG

    The dream was so vivid, I still remember every detail 15 hours later. I helped lift the baby to my chest, all long, warm and pink. The baby was clean and quietly watching me. I didn't check the gender. One of the nurses told me it was a girl, which I realized I already knew. I felt…content, happy, proud…and confident and comfortable as a 3rd time mom.

    This was my first birth dream I can remember having. I think this was brought about by a friend having a baby recently, by ...
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