Today was one of those days when it was just hard. Really hard. 3 different things went wrong, which is more than usual. I work FT and today I just moved move from one stress or unhappiness to another. I feel trapped in my job right now, but even if I stopped working FT and was home with my kids, I believe I'd be a worse mom for it. I fear I'd be obsessive and bitter and short-tempered, plus GD would overtake me.

I am deeply, deeply impressed by my SAHM friends. However much ...

I don't know if I'll end up meaning this, but tonight I am done with IG. Tonight, I hope I don't log in again. Now, I've also had a couple glasses of wine so I should be truthful about that...I'm not quite the 'me' you normally see blogging here! :)

But I'm done with the hyper-negative-without-a-scent-of-progress thing. And REALLY done with the reply i read tonight, which was basically a crow of 'Oh I feel your pain but then again I did get my girl after all' from a long time poster. ...

I did my attempt last night... and MAN am I going to pay for it!

DH suddenly, despite the fact that I have been dieting for 3 months, thought about when my due date would be if we tried this month and he flipped out! Not because we'd have a baby close to Xmas, but because we go for our annual "adults only" cabin trip in early December, and he immediately thought we should skip the next THREE MONTHS of TTC so that we could have one last cabin trip before a baby. Nevermind ...

I genuinely feel bad. Today is DH's birthday. I assumed, based on everything I had been looking at, my cycle, and how Fertility Friend predicted it, that I'd be getting a +OPK tomorrow or Sunday. Nope! I just took one that was just a hair lighter than control, which means if my morning one was ALMOST positive, my afternoon one is highly likely to be positive. My EWCM is also drying up, so I'm pretty sure it's tonight or not at all this month.

DH does not want another kid. He ...

Yesterday I spent 2? 3? hours writing out everything that's helped me with my own GDesire, in the world's longest post on IG. I should've spent the hours on other things I really need to do, but DH had taken the kids out, and once I got started I couldn't stop. I keep wanting to try to comfort / reassure / help / save the terribly sad women who write again and again with their own unique version of the shared demon we all have: We want something we don't now have, and maybe won't ever have. ...