So today is down reg day!!! Yeah so excited to be here again.

Been spotting on and off pretty much constantly since starting the bcp especially as I continued the packs without a break. Cant wait to stop pills next week!!!

So did injection earlier. A huge needle in butt!!! Didn't hurt a bit.
For some reason I really enjoy the injections. Maybe it's because it's taking me closer to the goal!

I'm so laid back about this cycle. No nerves about what's ...

Again? What the heck is going on? My cycle length is going from 36 days to 28. I'm shocked and confused.

I haven't been looking at the site too much. There's a part of me that feels guilty about not being supportive of the other girls TTC, but I really, really needed a break from thinking about TTC.

As a matter of fact, I've taken a break for this whole cycle. I'm off the pink diet (even though I haven't completely gone back to eating in the regular way), I weaned myself off supplements. I'm just trying to be normal.

I was getting really depressed about seeing one BFN ...

..that is how I feel this morning....after waking up at 1:30 in the morning with anxiety and being up for 3 hours total before going to bed..tossing and turning...crying...going online.....I am just numb today. I know some of this may be PMS but so much of it is old feelings of 2 failed cycles creeping in...wondering if this is it? is this the cycle that will bring me my dd or is this the cycle that breaks me ...that ends up being a failure and I have to walk away with nothing? I just don't know. ...

I am waiting for August's AF to arrive and then begin my Estrogen Priming Protocol. I am so afraid that I am not doing enough of doing things that could mess up my cycle. I am scared. What if this doesn't work ..then what..what am I left to do...how will I feel. How will I ever get over the pain of not having a dd when all I have been doing is holding out hope for IVF to work. Am I in denial? do I really have a good shot at this? I have been waking up now in the middle of the night thinking about ...