What's wrong with demanding things from your children!?

[RedCanoe]

I have expectations of my kids, for sure. I think age appropriate chores around the house (pick up their toys, put away their laundry, etc) are fair. Like a PP said, they live here too, and need to pitch in. Also, I don't think I would be doing them any favors to do it all for them and have them think that someone will always be around to pick up after them. Had some college roommates like that, and no one really liked living with them. I also expect that they do their homework and do well in school.

As for extracurricular activities, the older two are both in swimming, as I think it's important. Luckily they both love it, so I have not had to "force" them, lol. DS1 tried soccer for two years and asked to quit. I let him, as I could see that it did not jive with his personality. I let them pick what they want to do for extra activities. But I don't think it's unreasonable to have them try a few things like sport or music...

[prettyinpink18]

I think the part about being expected to do chores (and learning this at a young age) is a really good idea. My boys are 10 and 12 and we have never really enforced specific chores consistently aside from cleaning up their rooms, picking up toys, clearing their dishes etc. and it has proven to be an issue now. I constantly have to nag for them to put clothes in the hamper, pick up their coats and shoes and sports equipment. It is always left on the floor an all over the house. I wish I had enforced this when they were much younger as it would be easier now. DD is only 2 but we won't make the same mistake with her. She likes to clean up her toys and tries to put her plate/cup on the counter by the sink and we will continue to encourage her to keep up with it.

[4devochki]

Tiggerian, people's standards have collapsed. Carry on holding your dears to a higher one--they'll thank you for it!

signed,
mom whose kids learn 2 foreign languages, do chores, and practice music for an hour a day (tee hee)

[Rainbow baby]

I think structure and routines are good for children, "demands" is just another way of putting it! I think children need a little bit more of these chores and expectations thrown at them. How else are they supposed to learn how to be adults! Do we really want "lazy teens" that wont pick up after them self! Nope train them while they are young I say As for pushing them! I think you just have to be aware you can push them to much and turn them into manic depressants who will never think they are good enough for anyone and anything!!!

[Maybebaby#3]

U sound like a great mom to me! Mine are 2 and 4 also and i have them pick up their toys an lil stuff like that and i WISH i could have them play a sport and an instrument but i cant bc money is tight otherwise i def would! And another thing, ur teaching ur kids not to be lazy and thats a great thing! Keep it up mom!

[Tiggerian]

Thank you girls!! That mum really had me worrying a lot for a while!

I spoke to my OH about it too and of course our childrens happiness comes first. However, neither of us believe that the desire to achieve or do well necessarily comes naturally and we want to instill this in our children. We would never push them beyond their capabilities or force them to do something they hated - but we both believe you've got to immerse your children into new experiences. If you don't offer, how will they know!? If they don't know these things and opportunities are out there and we don't offer them, we believe we are doing them a dis-favour (is that a word?)

So thank you very much! You've calmed me down a lot!

[Mum to three girls]

I'm on my phone at work so this won't be wordy but I actually enjoyed the "Tiger Mom" book. Firstly because it was so satirical - which the author said that American readers largely didn't get- but also because it was thought provoking. I am NOT a "Tiger Mom" but appreciated her point that parents often talk about kids "following their passion" even when their "passions" only seem to be Facebook or watching TV. Her oldest daughter is quite vocal now about how much she appreciates being fluent in Mandarin and how much pleasure she gets from playing the piano.

I don't personally have the time or energy (or inclination) to push my kids to that extent but if they're interested in something and have talent I'll certainly strongly promote it. DH has some musical talent and wishes he'd been encouraged to continue his music lessons when he was younger.

[Cinss]

I think everything you encourage your kids to do is great, what else would they be doing with their time... Playing video games or watching tv, Kids love learning and helping parents so its all good!

[Just <3 One <3 Girl]

I believe thats completly reasonable =] they learn to respect you and their own belongings my boys do laundry help take care of the baby pick up toys and vacume we use points towards allowance it works :-)