Mine say no more boys we want a girl lol.
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We make conscious efforts to spend quality time one on one with each of our kids. We have "mummy and son dates" and DH takes then out riding or fishing or to the movies one at a time. And we also be real careful not to ask the older ones to help out with the others too much, they might out them in the car or help them open the door, or occasionally we will say can you watch DS6 while he is eating just while I go to the loo or something but that's about it, which I think is just basic family things regardless of how many kids there are.
I think it's more dependant on the parents and being conscious and aware and not the number of kids. I know a girl who's 17 and has 2 brothers that she literally raises and her mother does nothing! And another family of 8 where the third eldest (first son) has to do everything for the younger ones, has even had days off school to help his mum with the you get kids if she has something on! 😳 Whereas we don't and never would expect that of our kids or even think to ask!
The thing is with raising younger siblings, my DH was youngest of 3, there were 3 years between each. At 3 years old my SIL was in trouble for not looking after BIL properly and at 6 she was changing DHs nappies. So although I know that with having lots of kids comes a certain amount of delegating I also don't think that is exclusive to big families. At the moment with 4 I would never dream of asking them to take responsibility for one of their siblings. The most I say right now is "I'm going to hang the washing out, call me if he cries" I would however expect them as they got older to help with house hold stuff but I would with just 1.
I know that all of us want 1-2 more. And if I could I'd have 10 but I don't think that would be practical for us. I make sure that we have individual times for each of them. Make an effort to have that one to one with each. Even if it's just when the younger ones go up to bed, sitting playing word games with ds1, he enjoys hang man, and I always make the last one spell out something like "bed time now love you"
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I am one of 5, plus foster siblings. I love coming from a big family. My siblings are some of my best friends and I have amazing memories with all of them.
That's so beautiful to hear kaseybaby. 💜
It's great to hear a positive experience too
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I've seen a lot of families do it right and it sounds like your family is awesome! My dad died when I was 10 and the youngest was 1 (8 kids in 10 years, no twins), so it was a single mom situation which makes things difficult. However I think my parents went into it expecting it to be like the Sound of Music when real life is a lot different! I wasn't trying to be negative, just honest. I think big families are a blessing.
I like that you were honest about your experience, I wouldn't call it negative.
That must have been tough, losing your dad so young. And I can see why your mum would have needed your help with the smaller ones to get all that done with out a partner around.
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Yes! Me too and I don't regret that because she did so much better than most single moms would have in that situation.
I don't think you sounded negative either Abifasc, and wow your mum must be one amazing woman! I don't think I could do it on my own.
It must have been hard losing your dad but your mum has obviously raised an incredible woman in you. x