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  1. #41
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    motherofboys's Avatar
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    I can see a great bond between ds1 (8) and ds 4 (6months) which I hope remains and that he will see him as someone he can turn to in times of need and talk to if he feels he can not talk to us.
    At the moment my boys love that they have things that used to be their brothers (it isn't all hand me downs but some) we only do sharing presents for big things like games consoles and they think that getting a sharing presents means that they have been 'good brothers' through the year. They also don't mind sharing a room and although we do need more space there will still be 2 in each room. If we only had 2 kids we would probably stay in this house with no plans to move so they would still share. I shared with both my brothers till I was 7 then I missed them and was jealous they got to be in together while I was alone.
    Dh and I are both one of 3, but we were both from families where you were left to get on with in.
    Last night ds1 and I went out together for dinner, leaving the other 3 with daddy. Before he went to bed he gave me a hug and thanked me for taking him. I almost cried! He says cuddles are for babies so to get a hug, with no prompting, was wonderful.


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    Feb 2006 Oct 2007 March 2010 Oct 2013

    Hoping the future holds a for us......

  2. #42
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    maidentomother's Avatar
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    Both my parents were the youngest children of parents who had children into their late 40s, and they had me and my brother at 36/47 & 43/54 years old. Also, all my aunts, uncles, cousins etc lived on other continents. I always felt so lonely/alone and fantasized about having 12 kids and huge holiday gatherings. My brother and I fought badly for most of my childhood and still don't get along well, even though the seven year gap should mean less now that we are both adults. We are both estranged from our parents, too. I'd give anything for more siblings!

    I really want 6 but I'm too old at this point and hoping I can manage 4.

    My Ovulation Chart
    currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP

    TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!

    Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
    Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after removìng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic

    Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
    My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
    Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period

  3. #43
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    motherofboys's Avatar
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    My brothers and I fought, like most siblings I suppose, but we were also the best of friends most of the time. We were so close until I moved out. There was a disagreement with my mum and she cut contact, and they just stuck with her. We are now in contact again, but the reason for our disagreement still hangs between us, unspoken. And so it keeps my brothers and I from becoming close again.
    My mum was an only child and wanted a sibling for me. She ended up with twins lol
    There is an age gap between me and dh. He is 45 while I'm 27. This is a factor for me in how many children we will have as well as how closely together.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Feb 2006 Oct 2007 March 2010 Oct 2013

    Hoping the future holds a for us......

  4. #44
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    this isn't a bigger v. smaller family per se reply but I was an only child till I was 11 and then my mom and stepdad, and dad and stepmom had more kids. I did a ton of stuff to help out and for the most part I enjoyed and benefited from it immensely.

    Without intending to, I then did the same thing having my 3 littlez when my older sons were 16 and 13. I also think it benefited them as well.

    When I look around the world I see a lot of spoiled, mean, greedy, self-entitled people and even tho I totally understand it can suck to look around and see the kids who have everything, and think that it would be better to be them, coming from a big family also has its own set of perks in that you may learn skills and a different definition of happiness beyond the sheer accumulation of "things" that a kid who has everything may not and in fact may never be able to learn.

    When I was an only child I also felt a very great pressure from my parents who would watch everything I did 24-7 because they had no one else to distract them and let me just say it was NOT. GOOD.

    (and this does not mean or imply that anyone with 1-2 kids is in any way spoiling their kids or that big families are better in any way, I'm just saying that there are hidden benefits beyond "Ashley has her own car and is taking a trip to Hawaii while I am stuck here changing my sister's didey" that may not be obvious on the surface.)
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  5. #45
    Big Dreamer
    flowerlily's Avatar
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    Really got inspired by all these lovely comments. Wanted to add my bit too but something got in the way every time!
    I've always wanted to have a big family(5, ideally 3 girls and 2 boys or vice versa) since my dad married my latest step mum and they had 8 kids. I loved every minute of it, although not so sure about my brother.
    Also DH comes from a family of 7 where he was the eldest and it was so nice hearing that he enjoyed having so many younger siblings when we first met. And we immediately knew we wanted a big family.
    My mum on the other hand, only ever wanted 2 cause she already had her dd (me) and then my brother, so, perfect family. But sadly she passed away when I was only 4!
    It almost sounds ridiculous but I wouldn't have learnt the things I have learnt from having a lot of other siblings if it were only me and my brother.
    And I would have still wanted to have a big family too and wouldn't have enjoyed having an only brother, as we were both spoilt rotten.
    Not that we weren't when we had all these other siblings, but differently.
    As for my brother he's dating his long term girlfriend who comes from a large family too and loooves kids!

    Sent from my SM-T210 using Tapatalk
    Last edited by flowerlily; May 6th, 2014 at 02:16 PM.
    #1 6 #2 4 #3 1.5
    with #4 / it's a

  6. #46
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    Totally agree with Atomic. Only children can turn out so badly and yes, the pressure/over-attention on them is frequently problematic. There are no guarantees but I do believe that most people benefit from having at least one sibling close-ish in age and I think large families are far superior to only children in most cases, in terms of resulting personalities.

    Yes, you have more financial resources as an only child, but I think the world needs more caring, sharing types, not individualistic ones. In fact, smaller families may be partly responsible for the breakdown of society (as I consider modern society much less closely knit than in the past, for various reasons).

    My Ovulation Chart
    currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP

    TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!

    Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
    Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after removìng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic

    Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
    My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
    Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period

  7. #47
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    Rosie85's Avatar
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    I agree with Maiden. We have gone from having large families as a norm to having only one or two kids and the dynamic of everything has changed, people are more selfish and less social. It could have to do with the family size or it could be all the technology
    DS 1 2008
    DS 2 2010
    DS 3 2013

    May 2014 at 5 weeks

    August 2014 at 12 weeks

    DD1 our beautiful rainbow baby joined us october 2015. No sway...just miracles.

  8. #48
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    motherofboys's Avatar
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    It's been so great to hear everyone's different experiences and family make ups and how it affected your decisions when having children of your own.




    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    Feb 2006 Oct 2007 March 2010 Oct 2013

    Hoping the future holds a for us......

  9. #49
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    maidentomother's Avatar
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    Technology and urbanization are huge factors. But I think family size is too!

    My Ovulation Chart
    currently TTC, Cycle #16 since last BFP

    TTC #1 - swaying pink on & off since Nov 2013 - hoping for a girl first but excited for either!

    Dec 2001 - May 2006 : 5 early abortions of healthy singletons (3 medical @5w, 2 surgical @8w, last 4 pregnancies conceived with late DH, all conceived while TTA/on birth control)
    Mar 2012: miscarried B/G twins @5w (conceived 2 cycles after removìng Paraguard copper IUD while NTNP), one twin was ovarian ectopic

    Me: 34, widowed, late O + short LP, normal-good hormone levels excepting undetectable testosterone, seeking a known sperm donor/life partner
    My sway: vegetarian LE for over 28w, skipping breakfast, fibre (ground psyllium husks) with/before/between meals, physically inactive, drama avoidance, ocassional minimal YesBaby lube as needed, alternate cycles on low dose Clomid, double shot lattes (with meals)
    Past sway tactics I've dropped (in order): Vitex, Sudafed, antihistamines, intermittent fasting, one attempt per cycle at positive OPK, one attempt in fertile period

  10. #50
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    Kittybear's Avatar
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    I am an only child, and that is NOT what I wanted for my son. Since the passing of many older family members and the birth of my child I feel the hole where a sibling(s) should be more keenly than at any other stage in my life so far; the shared memories and life experienced, someone just to chat idly to etc. I also feel bad for my dad that his family name 'dies' with me as I am the last in the line....
    Saying that, I am also nervous of how I will cope with 2 as this is unknown territority for me (and my ever supportive parents lol)! As I have now set my sights on 3 children I'm hoping the 'leap' from 2 - 3 will not feel like such an emotional up heaval as from 1 -2.
    I am very jealous of you all having many siblings xx
    2 beautiful blue eyed boys who both own my (3 if you count DH!)
    2012 2014

    How strange it is to miss someone who has never existed... but now you are here, I recognised your beautiful face instantly, my little missing puzzle piece 2017

    'No one knows when or how their story ends...' My wonderful mum 2014.

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