Found 'adult' materials on sons' tablet. What to do next?

[atomic sagebrush]

It's actually easier if you don't know which one it was because in our case, we talked to both boys (separately) and said we didn't know who had done it and didn't want to, no one was mad but we couldn't have it happening any more because of viruses - we played up the virus angle a lot - and also because there was some really bad stuff out there that no one needed to see and you couldn't unsee it.

Then, later after my husband was elsewhere then I went into the sexism aspect of it and also ~my personal belief~ that men looking at porn too much sometimes develop an unhealthy and unreasonable expectation of actual women.

But mine were quite a bit older when t happened, more like 16 and 13 (and it was the little one!)

[LacePrincess]

Yah I'm really hoping to raise them with a healthy attitude towards sex, and views of women. And also good judgement! I don't believe 'banning' anything ever works.....they will just go elsewhere, because teen are curious and hormones and friends, LOL. I remember being that age!

I really want them to see us as accepting and safe to ask their questions. I read about someone who conversed with her daughter through email about this stuff.....which I actually REALLY like, it removes the weirdness of a face to face conversation.

[LacePrincess]

So DH had 'the talk', lol. It was our eldest. So that's a bit of relief.

It was uncomfortable and the kid was squirmy, lol, but we've established the basics and we'll be looking for some new books and resources for him to read more about things. We'll go from there but at least he knows how we feel about things!

[TaytumJ]

So glad things went well for you guys! It's never easy for you or him, but I bet just knowing that you want to help him develop a healthy relationship with sex and women will be so beneficial as he continues to grow.

I also believe that if you give healthy access and information, there won't be a need or a want for him to spiral down into the bad stuff. Seems like the stuff we ban and shame kids/teens run to harder. I think it will also help him have feel confident and secure as well.

It's probably going to be one of those funny stories you remember forever though!


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[LacePrincess]

So glad things went well for you guys! It's never easy for you or him, but I bet just knowing that you want to help him develop a healthy relationship with sex and women will be so beneficial as he continues to grow.

I also believe that if you give healthy access and information, there won't be a need or a want for him to spiral down into the bad stuff. Seems like the stuff we ban and shame kids/teens run to harder. I think it will also help him have feel confident and secure as well.

It's probably going to be one of those funny stories you remember forever though!


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Oh he was funny. At first it was "Oh I guess I might have looked, I didn't install anything!" DH gives him his skeptical eyebrow of doom. Then it was "...I guess I might have installed one thing." More eyebrow of doom. "Okay yeah I installed a few things." LOL!!!

And exactly, I'm not a fan of banning anything since IMO especially with bratty teens that only serves to make the temptation that much more enticing. I joked to DH that if we wanted him to never look for porn we'd just tell him how much we enjoyed it - hah!!

We've also set them up with a kids login on the laptop now that will log EVERY site they visit. So it won't matter if they figure out how to use incognito or delete their browser history, it'll alllll be logged on the server.