Vasectomy?

[Erin514]

Yeah, I think this is partly why this is sticking in my craw a bit. There's lots of women who want tubals at young ages (hey, I read Slate magazine LOL) and doctors won't do it. There's other doctors that are pushing tubals onto people who are not thrilled with the idea. And in order to get an abortion women have to jump thru all these hoops (at least in the US) listen to the heartbeat, have counselling, etc (and I'm not saying either of those things is at all wrong, just pointing out the double standard - altho I do think the docs pushing tubals IS wrong and I've seen enough people who were pressured into it by a doctor or a spouse that I can say 100% this does happen and it is not rare) But then a married dude shows up and they're all like "hellz ya, roll them nutz right on in here, time for some snippin'".

It's just this same idea that pisses me off again and again where despite the biological reality that women's fertility is limited AND we're the ones who have to do the majority of the work, men are in charge.

It really makes very little sense to me because there is an easy fix - men don't want a baby, don't have sex. OR wear a condom. It's that simple. It's not a mystery how it happens. No man is being forced to have a baby they don't want because they don't have a vasectomy. All a vasectomy is, is a guarantee that it will NEVER happen and that there is no room for negotiation or changing of hearts/minds.

While I do of course agree that we are all our own people and our bodies are ours to own, a marriage is to some extent, a contract that involves child rearing and it seems a bit questionable in my mind that a husband can unilaterally decide this. It's as if two business partners signed any contract and then one party breaks that contract without the agreement of the other party.

This is totally going on my list.

Yes, there really is a double-standard. Reproductive decisions seem to become a proxy for a lot of other biases in society. Here in Canada, it was disturbingly common for Aboriginal women to be given tubal litigation without their consent well up until the 80s (as in, you go in for gallbladder surgery and they just do it while they're in there) because doctors believed they were "helping" a problem of some type (non-white people reproducing?). There was even a recent case this past summer in Saskatchewan where an Aboriginal woman revoked her consent for the tubal on her way to surgery because she felt her doctor had really pressured her into it and the doctors just sedated her and did it anyway. Insane.

[ME MOM]

That poor woman, what a hard story Erin!

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[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, exactly there are some utterly shocking stories here too about that very thing. Grr.

I even got a little pressure from my own doctor, he was like (this was with my 4th) "If we have a c-section don't you just want to have your tubes tied" and I was like, "NO" and then he was all, "but are you really sure, it would be so easy" and I was like WTF dude. I can really see how someone who was under any pressure at all from a family member (husband, that is) might cave in and say, "well, yes, I guess, if I'm having a c-section anyway, I suppose that makes sense" without really wanting one.