Originally Posted by
Mom25boys
So I found out I'm having boy number 6. I was pretty heartbroken, but I knew deep down a boy was a 99% chance. I think what made it so bad is that I worked so hard. I literally changed my life. I was so relaxed, on anxiety meds, dh on them too- first time for both of us., I dieted nicely for 16 weeks, exercised 6 days a week. I was good. But this cycle I got tired of it not happening and went for e4d. I am kicking myself that maybe that was a tilt the other way. But I have seen perfect sways fail too, so obviously it wasn't meant to be. But being my last, its devastating. I need to get rid of all those daughter dreams forever. I did IG sway 2 other times and MC. But this is it. I am never going to have a daughter. Honestly, I didn't have any crazy dreams of dress up and dolls. I just wanted something different. After 5 boys wearing pretty much the same clothing and looking pretty much identical, brown hair, brown eyes... cant tell baby pics apart, I just wanted something different.
I thought it would be good for me to buy some baby things, but it was so hard. The baby girl section is massive and so loud. The boy section was pathetic. I could barely find anything. Anything remotely cute wasn't realistic. Had too many layers and pieces, which after 5 boys I know better. Got a few things begrudgingly.
I can work on the nursery but I have a budget so its extremely difficult. It makes it not worth it to do anything babyish- it needs to grow with him.
I know I will be ok. I will not get messed over it. I shed tears when I saw it was a boy. I told the sonographer I didn't want to know and she kept saying he. So i knew the penis flash was real.
It's just done now. My last baby is another boy. And i will adore him but I'm so sad. Sad of being told no to my prayers and dreams.
I gave it everything I got, but it wasn't enough.
And I can't find anything to bring me comfort. Its just too fresh. And everyone's words of comfort are just plain stupid. I need to just pull myself together and accept my fate. I shouldn't have thought I could change it. Even if it was a 1% chance.
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