DUE OCT /NOV /December 2019

[Bobster]

Sonny I’m so sorry. I know how you are feeling so well and it’s really the worst feeling. I didn’t talk to my hubby for ages either but I found that when I eventually broke to him it really made me feel a lot better as it’s such a huge burden to have in your head all on your own. If not him is there anyone else you could confide in? I really wish I could say something to make it better. It feels like everyone gets what they want when it’s something you are concentrated on but they don’t. I remember ttc my first and struggling to get pregnant and everyone in the whole world seemed pregnant at the time. It really is so shit. We all know how you are feeling and there’s no other way to describe it other than shit. Although you don’t know him yet I just know once he comes you will fall in love with him. I also know that feeling doesn’t stop the other feeling as it’s separate. Just wish I could say something to help you right now. Just know that we are here if you need to talk. And it’s ok to feel the way you do right now so just let yourself feel it. I see it as a process like grieving xx

[LMSM]

Sonny, just pitching in because I had my third girl last year and went through the same motions....it does take you to a dark place, regardless of how much you know you will love this new baby and how thankful you are for him to be healthy- as Bobster said, infinite overwhelming love for him doesn’t stop you from feeling upset for not getting a girl.
The way I looked at it was “ I’m not upset she is a she and getting another daughter, I’m upset I didn’t get a son”- my disappointment wasn’t her, but my lack of him, if that makes any sense? I know it’s hard to keep strong in the face of people and their comments, so do what it takes to preserve yourself and your heart.
I will say this - time does ease the pain, and my third girl is a treasure I didn’t know I wanted but man she brings me so much love it’s insane I still desperately want a son, but I could never trade her (any of them) for a son
Xxxx

[MrsSparkles]

So well said everyone.
Sonnygirl you have everyone's support, we all know what you are going through, and are here for you.
Have you tried to tell your hubbie yet?
Maybe sharing and having a good cry and hug with him would help, it is so hard when you have to internalize it all.

[Sonnygirl]

Thank you for the support.
Hubby knows how I feel and has known since we started to sway. He did his part in the sway to help as he knows how much it means to me.

He get free counselling where he works and is just trying to get help so he can try and help me.
He tries to do and say the right thing but nothing helps.
This is the worse position to be in as the baby isn't even here and i've got 5 months left of a pregnancy that will get harder and harder.
I feel nothing for the pregnancy at all. I act as if it's not there and avoid any topic that comes up about it.
I have no desire to look at clothes as it's just that same thing again, same with the nursery and names.

The only thing that is making it slightly better is trying again after this one but i'll be 40 by then and I have no faith in swaying so it would have to be IVF. I don't live in the US so there isn't a lot of support for European clinics here and the chances are slim. I never ever wanted 4 kids. I really still don't but it's either that or never have a chance at having a daughter.

[SummerHope]

My husband couldn't wait till Monday.
So we left after work to go and have a 3d gender scan.
I cannot believe I am writing this.
Its a girl !!!!

OMG how exciting!! Congratulations!!

[MrsSparkles]

That's so tough Sonny, and as Bobster said it is like grieving.
It is so positive that your husband is on board for PGD.
I would not worry about your age, you are obviously fertile and that doesnt just switch off at 40.
Will you go to Cyprus, that's where we looked into.
So pleased that your hubbie is trying and being supportive.

[ruupau]

Thank you for the support.
Hubby knows how I feel and has known since we started to sway. He did his part in the sway to help as he knows how much it means to me.

He get free counselling where he works and is just trying to get help so he can try and help me.
He tries to do and say the right thing but nothing helps.
This is the worse position to be in as the baby isn't even here and i've got 5 months left of a pregnancy that will get harder and harder.
I feel nothing for the pregnancy at all. I act as if it's not there and avoid any topic that comes up about it.
I have no desire to look at clothes as it's just that same thing again, same with the nursery and names.

The only thing that is making it slightly better is trying again after this one but i'll be 40 by then and I have no faith in swaying so it would have to be IVF. I don't live in the US so there isn't a lot of support for European clinics here and the chances are slim. I never ever wanted 4 kids. I really still don't but it's either that or never have a chance at having a daughter.

so sorry sonny you didn't hear girl, and I know what everyone say will never change what you feel, you are not alone am expecting a third boy and I cried over it cursing myself why not me and others get what they want but fortunately we have our DHs who can support us and willing to give us another chance, you are not alone shop for him and be happy for him, I didn't want to but i tried and now 27weeks and days going to my third trimester,lets move on dear you not alone love your little one, didn't want four also because of Cesareans but the desire of having a lil girl in the family is pushing me, so don't worry sonny a fourth one will be our girl

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[WelcomeBaby]

Hey everybody, dropping by again to see how everbody's doing! First of all, thank you so much to all of you who left me some kind words when our families' reactions to our pregnancy were so unpleasant. It still hasn't changed, nobody asks how the baby is doing or how I'm feeling or if there are any u/s pics or whatever. Well, I don't mind too much, it's OUR baby after all and he's already loved by DH, DS1 and me.
But wow, a lot has happened since my last visit here!! MrsSparkles, I almost fainted when I read your story!!! Congrats on your baby girl!!!! I hope you can leave this ugly little episode with the u/s tech behind you and just enjoy being pregnant with your daughter! I was so shocked and then so happy for you!
Sonnygirl, I'm incredibly sorry you're struggling so hard. There is probably nothing I can say that will make you feel better, but I'm 150% convinced I'm expecting a boy too - was off the diet for about 6 weeks before conceiving and my PCOS had come back, among other things, and now we're team green because I couldn't handle the confirmation before giving birth - and I've worked hard on accepting it. I had some success with the following two steps. First, I told myself that being pregnant is not about my baby, but about me being a strong, beautiful woman whose body is doing the most amazing thing known to mankind - grow another little human. I deserve to feel proud and profoundly feminine. So I focused on connecting with myself more instead of obsessing over who this baby is or is not, and that calmed me down a little.
Recently and in the face of unsupportive remarks, I've started to tell my baby (and myself) a little mantra that goes like this: "You don't have to do anything specific. You don't have to be anything specific. I will love you and keep you safe, because that's my job as your mom." Again, I'm focusing more on what I can and want to do - and what a strong, reliable, loving mother I want to be, and am capable of being - instead of how my baby is not only disappointing my own gender desire, but everyone else's too. (If I keep ruminating this like I did during the first 10 weeks, I'll drive myself insane!)
I hope you don't find my ideas offensive, I'm really just trying to help and wish you the best and that you get through your pregnancy okay and fall in love with your boy immediately.

[MrsSparkles]

I love your Mantra !
Im so sorry your family are being unsupoortive still, but as you know they are the only ones who will miss out.
Your little family is perfection regardless of gender or anything else.
Its a shame their hearts are so closed, but from the ashes of their rubbish family dynamic rose the Phoenix (you and your husband).

Things are okay here.
We have a meeting with the hospital about the US tech.
I feel guilty as she has been suspended pending the investigation.
I don't know why i feel guilty, but I suppose its the British way (apologising when someone steps on your toes!)

[Bobster]

Eek I can understand that feeling. She was really in the wrong though. I’m sure she’s realised that now.I hope the meeting goes ok. You’ll have to keep us posted.

Sonny are you still on here?

I am going to book in for a gender scan again as I’m so paranoid that they’ve got it wrong. My hubby thinks I’m crackers. I probably am. I feel like I’m lying to people when they ask what I’m having. I still keep calling the baby ‘it’ just in case they were wrong.

How is everyone feeling? Hopefully everyone’s symptoms have passed and energy is returning. Summer did you find out in the end? Welcome I love your mantra. Love your positive attitude. I didn’t have that at all with ds2. I felt so low but when he arrived it did feel better as I worried so much about not loving him that I felt relief that I did fall madly in love.