Originally Posted by
Sora
We don't do stay at home here anyway. You know when someone gives birth at home, it's always accidental. And not well looked upon like "you could have put the baby in danger !".
Oh no not any change cause it was not related to choices I made or could make. Baby came too fast (only 3 hours after first contraction), it was a bad day with full moon and lots of women giving birth at the same time. And I didn't know it at the time but the hospital had just run into financial problems and was severly understaffed and equiped. I was left into the hands of young panicked interns who didn't know left from right, nobody really checked me, only the lady cleaning the room told them "she's at the end, she's going to give birth". They couldn't tell where the baby was, they told me to shut up because I was wailing in pain, saying I was a sissy and annoyingly loud and they couldn't work. They didn't believe me when I said I felt the head of the baby between my legs and tried to force me to stay sitting, threatening to not give me the anesthetic if I refused to obey... which I link to refusing analgesics to a patient in pain and idk about the other countries but it's supposed to be a serious professionnal mistake. I had to fight them off to lie down so that DD2 could end up on the table and not on the ground and thankfully I succeeded. They were shocked into silence. TBH some didn't even see the baby roll on the table and were ready to force me up again.
So yeah... Never ever again. But I don't get to choose the day of birth, the financial health and the staff of an hospital. I'm tempted to ask if they can take me in a few days before my due date just so I can have the anesthetic quickly enough. But I doubt they will be able to, they already lack rooms. And with Corona ? Not a chance to find a hospital in good financial health and not severly understaffed... So doubly doubting now. Home looks more and more safer. Only thing worrying is if there are complications, then I won't get help. Though complications can happen at the hospital too.
But yeah that bad experience has left me very fearful of pain. Before I was quite strong on that end, I could suck it up a long time. Now even the slightest scratch sends me back to that day and I just want to roll into a ball and scream. I panic, I can't breathe, I know it's ridiculous and just a little injury but my whole body freezes as if bracing for the pain of birth.
And no, can't get help about that. Will either be told it's my fault and to think about all the poor women who actually died of childbirth instead of being a sissy or be given some anxiety medication that won't make the memory go away. And seriously though, is it normal to take meds cause you can't control yourself anymore whenever you feel pain ?
So well, I think at least at home, I will be able to scream and lie down to my heart's content. ><