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  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by GMarie View Post
    I have a hard time with this when PG but in reality I know that having a son wouldn’t be that much different...each of my 7 DDs has interests that range from stereotypically “boy” to “girl”. In fact, DD2 plays football! Even my most “girly” daughter loves superheroes and ninjas as well as princesses. And while some of my DDs are definitely daddy’s girls, others are closer to me. And I keep telling myself if this is another girl we’ll save lots of $$ on clothes and baby supplies since I still have all the twins’ things!
    Rationally, I know gender doesn’t define who they are..my girls are not the stereotypical girls anyways lol but while I have now accepted I can’t abort, just couldn’t, I am still soooo sad.
    I had sold all my baby girl stuff before finding out I was pregnant so have to buy stuff for her ( and thevmere thought of having to get girl stuff..again!... just kills me).

    Another thing is dealing with comments: I suffered really bad especially last pregnancy and this time I really need ( as agreed with my counsellor) to protect myself so need a way to announce the pregnancy/ gender where I feel in control of the narrative and to shutdown any snide comments ( I got soooooo many last time and when you’re dealing with GD that is not what you want)...or to respond to the comments from anyone really once pregnancy is obvious ( when pregnant even strangers feel the right to comment and ask..because apparently you’re public property too while pregnant :P ).
    Would love to hear any clever one liners, come backs etc youvevfound effective
    Lucky Mummy to 3 adorable princesses
    (07/2013) (09/2015) (03/2018)
    (07/2014)
    Our sway didnít work for #3 - but we love her to bits... still hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family.

    Due to start TTC early September 2020 but Suuurpriiiise decided otherwise - Koala Bear ďOopsĒ, due early March 2021
    Itís a girl..again..completely heartbroken

  2. #162
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    Sorrybive been so selfish in my own bubble...hope you’re well ?
    Greydore, thinking of you if you read this !
    Lucky Mummy to 3 adorable princesses
    (07/2013) (09/2015) (03/2018)
    (07/2014)
    Our sway didnít work for #3 - but we love her to bits... still hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family.

    Due to start TTC early September 2020 but Suuurpriiiise decided otherwise - Koala Bear ďOopsĒ, due early March 2021
    Itís a girl..again..completely heartbroken

  3. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by LMSM View Post
    Rationally, I know gender doesnít define who they are..my girls are not the stereotypical girls anyways lol but while I have now accepted I canít abort, just couldnít, I am still soooo sad.
    I had sold all my baby girl stuff before finding out I was pregnant so have to buy stuff for her ( and thevmere thought of having to get girl stuff..again!... just kills me).

    Another thing is dealing with comments: I suffered really bad especially last pregnancy and this time I really need ( as agreed with my counsellor) to protect myself so need a way to announce the pregnancy/ gender where I feel in control of the narrative and to shutdown any snide comments ( I got soooooo many last time and when youíre dealing with GD that is not what you want)...or to respond to the comments from anyone really once pregnancy is obvious ( when pregnant even strangers feel the right to comment and ask..because apparently youíre public property too while pregnant :P ).
    Would love to hear any clever one liners, come backs etc youvevfound effective
    For the really rude comments Iíd shame them by saying something like, ďDonít worry, I wonít tell x you said that when sheís olderĒ or, ďThereís still stigma and judgement out there for having a family of all the same gender, isnít there?...Ē or ďJust a congratulations is fine.Ē

    For the more thoughtless comments (like those annoying Ďjokeyí outnumbered comments), Iíd just turn it into a positive narrative with, ďI love my family the way it isĒ or (more likely), ďMy husband loves his family the way it isĒ or ďItís 2020, girls can do x (insert stereotypical activity they have mentioned) tooĒ.

    Are you going to announce the gender before or after the birth? I feel like there might be less comments announcing after as they are then commenting on a real person but I guess people can be thoughtless at any time!


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
    2018
    Swaying for 2020

  4. #164
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    Thanks!
    I think announcing now rather than at birth is better because otherwise there’ll be the “oh it’s bound to be a boy” “ it could be a boy this time” “ look at you, I think its a boy, I JUST know it!” etc and it would just kill me every time ...I really need to protect my heart and head for fear of diving deep into depression
    Lucky Mummy to 3 adorable princesses
    (07/2013) (09/2015) (03/2018)
    (07/2014)
    Our sway didnít work for #3 - but we love her to bits... still hoping we might add blue to the crew, to complete our family.

    Due to start TTC early September 2020 but Suuurpriiiise decided otherwise - Koala Bear ďOopsĒ, due early March 2021
    Itís a girl..again..completely heartbroken

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  6. #165
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    @ LMSM i like a lot of the comments Cloudiedayz wrote. I personally feel like a lot of people dislike families that have more than one or maybe two children. I got a few hurtful comments while pregnant with our third (without the gender issue) just a lot of people do not understand why you have a third and it hurt and I know some will be like that this time again. But I will just tell them that's not appropriate to say or that I wished for the fourth just like for the first one. Until now it worked wonders to add that my kids where insanely happy to get another baby sibling. That seems to shut a few people up. And I plan to say this when this is a boy that my two boys wished for a little brother (which they do).
    A mom I know with three boys told me (without me asking, because I never do that) that she wanted her third to be a boy, just because she didn't want to "learn everything new" with her third child. No matter if this is really what she felt I thought that might be a good response. Another mom with three girls actually told me (again without me asking). That they hoped for a boy with their third but it just happened and that it's a girl and everything's fine. I know it's not for everyone but the way she said it was kinda nice. She is a loving mom and it was just so honest and pure and beautiful. I liked that.
    I really hope you find your way to deal with the comments. ❤ I really feel that is one of the worst things in our society and actually nobody benefits.
    I think 4blue2pink once wrote somewhere that she bought neutral stuff for one of the babies so nobody would comment in the beginning when GD might still be present? I liked that so much. If you have to buy new newborn clothes you could buy some neutral things. This way you won't get stupid comments from people you pass by?
    @ all the other ladies, I hope you are feeling good. ��
    Last edited by Lailanela; September 3rd, 2020 at 03:31 AM.

  7. #166
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    "the greatest gift you can give your children is another sibling" i believe this 100% and wont hesitate to say it to anyone who tries to comment negatively on this baby (10th pregnancy and all being well our 9th living child)

    Comments i have seen recently not here but on another group from mums of 10+ kids on this issue:

    "children arent expensive, lifestyles are"

    "you never regret the children you have, there is no such thing as too many children"

    "I pity those who view children as a burden"

    and a public pregnancy announcement of a mum i follow announcing that she is expecting her 12th child: "Our house is buzzing with excitement as we await this precious new life. We are undeservingly blessed and over the moon with joy."

    There is no room for negative responses in an announcement like that, sure people can hate but they dont tend to respond openly with it if you announce your pregnancy/gender etc in a very happy, joyful way. I will add that this family so far have 8 boys and only 3 girls but ive never seen a single negative comment about that. Their last 2 babies were boys 7 and 8 and they announced them both with total joy and positivity. Even if you dont feel it, fake it. It really does seem to work!

    And im 100% for Neutral baby clothes all the way its no business to strangers what gender your baby is and if they cant tell on sight they tend not to ask just so they can comment and be rude.
    now 6blue3pink after 3 GD sways xx

    #10 due in march

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  9. #167
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    Howís everyone doing? Did anyone else find out gender? Iím 21 weeks already. It seems to be going fast but it also seems like January is forever away. Her monogrammed blanket arrived the other day, and it was a very emotional moment! Canít wait to wrap her up in it.


    3 blue 3 pink

    Pink due January 28th
    Thank you God and Our Lady
    - 2005 - 2007 - 2010 - 2012 - 2013 - 2016

    Due January 2021

    Dec '12, Feb '13, July '15

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  11. #168
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    So Iíve been avoiding this site for a while now since I found out we are having baby boy number 3. I found out at 11 weeks and am now 21 weeks. Itís been rough...a lot of crying in the beginning and I could not even bring myself to tell people even about my pregnancy...I didnít even tell my own mom til 15 weeks. I was just so upset that I let myself picture telling people it was a girl and then that vision was shattered. In general I am doing better but I still have rough days where Iím just totally depressed. Initially I told myself Iím done with kids...3 boys is enough and I canít handle having a 4th boy. Recently Iíve decided I donít need that answer right now. I have thought about high tech options but obviously would need to really discuss that with my husband. I feel so out of control 😩...typical boy mom trying to control it all! Iím trying to feel gratitude for the blessings I have and to have faith in Godís plan for us and our family but itís hard.

  12. #169
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    Hey LMSM! Have you read Little Women? Itís about four sisters and it gives me HUGE gender desire to have all girls (that ship has sailed for us considering our first born is a boy, but life never turns out how you imagine). Thought it might give you a way to see the benefits of four girlsóI know for me, reading things about healthy mother-son bonds helps me feel okay with having sons.
    Married in 2016

    One wonderful son born in 2018

    Hoping for a daughter in 2021!

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  14. #170
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    Quote Originally Posted by FandJsmom View Post
    So Iíve been avoiding this site for a while now since I found out we are having baby boy number 3. I found out at 11 weeks and am now 21 weeks. Itís been rough...a lot of crying in the beginning and I could not even bring myself to tell people even about my pregnancy...I didnít even tell my own mom til 15 weeks. I was just so upset that I let myself picture telling people it was a girl and then that vision was shattered. In general I am doing better but I still have rough days where Iím just totally depressed. Initially I told myself Iím done with kids...3 boys is enough and I canít handle having a 4th boy. Recently Iíve decided I donít need that answer right now. I have thought about high tech options but obviously would need to really discuss that with my husband. I feel so out of control ...typical boy mom trying to control it all! Iím trying to feel gratitude for the blessings I have and to have faith in Godís plan for us and our family but itís hard.
    Your feelings are so normal. I remember how I felt when I found out DS3 was on his way. I pray you find peace quickly. Knowing that I would be having more children after him probably really helped me get through it, so for sure donít close that door on yourself.


    3 blue 3 pink

    Pink due January 28th
    Thank you God and Our Lady
    - 2005 - 2007 - 2010 - 2012 - 2013 - 2016

    Due January 2021

    Dec '12, Feb '13, July '15

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