April/May/June 2021

[reddevil]

It really is reddevil. I’m not sure what I feel right now. Relief that the baby is healthy but heartache that our dynamic is different to what I dreamed, confused by feeling “girl” this whole time so it feels like the rug has been pulled from under me, upset because I know we were content with 3 and now I’m putting strain on our whole family by having another baby. I don’t know.. I wish I felt joyous just right now I’m a bit lost and sad.

I can totally sympathise with you and think the only thing you can do is to allow yourself to feel whatever you are feeling, and not feel guilty and gradually you'll start to work through the pain and confusion and come out the other side. Keep talking about it here too as I think it will really help.

[atomic sagebrush]

I was obsessing over ways to find out gender to past the time too reddevil. Frustratingly they all came back girl and now my NIPT says boy so I’m completely lost after having false hope x

This is exactly why I had so much despair with my 3rd son. When I got pregnant I didn't even have any gender desire really - I LOVED having 2 boys, was thrilled when my second was a boy, and had been happy with that for 15 years, just the faintest hint of "wouldn't it be nice if"... But all those darn old wives tales messed with my head till I made up my mind that I just had to be having a girl. Then I felt very much like someone had "stolen" her. It took a long time to work those feelings out.

[Dina N]

Hi ladies part of me wishes I didn't obsess over trying to find out the gender because I feel that deep down im happy either way.

I did try sway blue and my nub theory saying pink.. who knows.
And because I thought blue all along I've now got it set in my head that its pink just because of how many seem to get the nubs right.

I won't find out until January and to be honest I can't wait as i just want to know so I can set my mind completely on preparing and get excited.

Hope your all doing well x

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[reddevil]

I think the issue when pregnant is that you really have nothing else you know about the baby so finding out the sex is the only thing you can really know beforehand. You don't know if they'll be bubbly, shy, confident, thoughtful, daring etc (and probably won't know that for some time!) so the only piece of information you have to imagine anything about them in the future is the gender. Hence why when they're born many people often are able to get over the gender disappointment as they realise how much more there is to their baby in that second. But right now it's literally the only thing we have to obsess over....and so obsess we do.
I've just done a sneak peak - hate myself for doing it, as I know I won't believe it whatever the answer. I got Boy ramzi guess and that really punched me in the gut as I"ve read about the huge success rates on that.

[atomic sagebrush]

Hi ladies! I’m looking to chat with Atomic. I cannot login into my account on here. I’ve been booted off it before about a month ago. The only place I can write anything is in someone else’s thread. I’m sorry to intrude!


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Sorry about this - I don't usually check these chat threads. I have already replied to your private message but did not see this post till just now.

[Flowergirl]

I think the issue when pregnant is that you really have nothing else you know about the baby so finding out the sex is the only thing you can really know beforehand. You don't know if they'll be bubbly, shy, confident, thoughtful, daring etc (and probably won't know that for some time!) so the only piece of information you have to imagine anything about them in the future is the gender. Hence why when they're born many people often are able to get over the gender disappointment as they realise how much more there is to their baby in that second. But right now it's literally the only thing we have to obsess over....and so obsess we do.
I've just done a sneak peak - hate myself for doing it, as I know I won't believe it whatever the answer. I got Boy ramzi guess and that really punched me in the gut as I"ve read about the huge success rates on that.

I totally agree. I think it’s heightened too if you’ve swayed and prayed for a particular gender. I just want to hopefully ease your mind a bit re: ramzi. I had all girl guesses and even send my scan to a place that are “professionals” and it was still wrong I think this is what’s messed with my head the most. Baby’s heartbeat was also 170 bpm. All the things you look for pointed to girl and they were all wrong.

[Flowergirl]

This is exactly why I had so much despair with my 3rd son. When I got pregnant I didn't even have any gender desire really - I LOVED having 2 boys, was thrilled when my second was a boy, and had been happy with that for 15 years, just the faintest hint of "wouldn't it be nice if"... But all those darn old wives tales messed with my head till I made up my mind that I just had to be having a girl. Then I felt very much like someone had "stolen" her. It took a long time to work those feelings out.

I do feel like I’m grieving the daughter I thought I was having more than GD I think. I’m also mourning for my daughter missing out on her sister she prayed for everyday.. I still can’t tell her

[Flowergirl]

Hi ladies part of me wishes I didn't obsess over trying to find out the gender because I feel that deep deep down im happy either way.

I did try sway blue and my nub theory saying pink.. who knows.
And because I thought blue all along I've now got it set in my head that its pink just because of how many seem to get the nubs right.

I won't find out until January and to be honest I can't wait as i just want to know so I can set my mind completely on preparing and get excited.

Hope your all doing well x

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I had my 12 week scan today and was hanging on to the hope the nub would be girly and my NIPT was wrong but it definitely looks like a boy. I wish I could feel better about it but I’m just so sad. It might just take time.. if only we could of swapped our blue/pink dust hey.

[Dina N]

I had my 12 week scan today and was hanging on to the hope the nub would be girly and my NIPT was wrong but it definitely looks like a boy. I wish I could feel better about it but I’m just so sad. It might just take time.. if only we could of swapped our blue/pink dust hey.

Hi Flowergirl I'm sorry you are feeling this way.
I think because of trying to sway perhaps it becomes as more of a surprise that its not the gender you were expecting..
I'm sure when your special little boy comes along he will take away those feelings..
Sending you (((hugs))) x

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[polaris.kai]

I had my 12 week scan today and was hanging on to the hope the nub would be girly and my NIPT was wrong but it definitely looks like a boy. I wish I could feel better about it but I’m just so sad. It might just take time.. if only we could of swapped our blue/pink dust hey.

Sending you hugs flowergirl. So sorry that you didn't get your dream gender after seeing the nub. Don't feel bad with how you feel because you're right it will take time

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