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Thank you so much Atomic and Jazmin! I’m absolutely thrilled!! Baby is due at the very start of December. I received a positive on the digital FRER this morning too.
Atomic, is there anything I need to change now? I started taking my prenatal the day I had those back cramps because I just knew I was pregnant, so I’m taking those and eating lots to keep the nausea at bay. Phone appt with my GP this afternoon :)
Are you taking anything in terms of supplements?
I would continue at higher dose folic acid or folate till the end of the first trimester and then gradually wean back to the amount in prenatal. Come off fiber if using that. I would go ahead and normalize on diet.
What else were you thinking of specifically?
Thanks Atomic. I started taking ‘in natal’ preconception & pregnancy supplements from 9DPO and am keeping up with the higher dose of folic acid. Also just started taking fish oil, my dr said it’s safe / a good idea.
I can’t help but think this baby must be a little boy if we conceived so easily?! Do many Mamas of sons conceive girls first try? We were lucky to fall pregnant with our second son the first month TTC too. I weighed in at 55.5kg the day I got our BFP, crazy low weight, that brings my BMI to 17 I think?! I conceived DS2 at 58 or 57kg.
I’m just so thrilled to be pregnant and am already so in love with this little baby, regardless of gender. It’s such a gift to be able to experience this and after being back and forth for such a long time on whether we want a 3rd, it feels so right 💛 I guess by the time you’re onto your third baby you really appreciate the magic of it all, and I am so in love.
What dose on the fish oil? Some of the doses given are too high and we have seen a lot of SCH bleeding with it.
The InNatals brand has high doses of the B Vitamins. Since it's a "take 1 capsule twice" you may want to just take one capsule ONCE a day.
We have roughly the same time to conception for successes and opposites. ~Slightly~ faster for opposites, but not dramatically different, and not only have we seen plenty of successful sways with girls the first month out, but additionally many of the women who have all girls have a history of conceiving the first month.
It is such a gift, truly! Perfect attitude! Sending all the pink dust I can muster!
Thanks Atomic. Do you have the numbers on first month conception pink sway success rates? I’m making a point of staying away from the statistics thread so that I don’t get all obsessive over my sway, but would love to know what the numbers are on that, especially as I conceived DS2 first try.
I’ll take a look at the fish oil dosage and get back to you. Edit: dosage per 2 capsules is
Total omega 3: 690mg
EPA: 330mg
DHA: 220mg
Other omegas: 140mg
Now I just need to decide if I should be team green or find out! I’ve been leaning toward team green mainly so I can avoid stupid comments from people during my pregnancy (drove me mad my last pregnancy!). But not sure which way is better / easier… I guess both options have their pros and cons!
I don't keep statistics on stuff like that because firstly, for most of the years of this site, that would have been a deceptively small group of people. Secondly, people who get pregnant in that first month are not randomly selected - either they get pregnant fast because they're highly fertile, or because they weren't swaying that hard, or both, and aren't representative of the site as a whole. And finally, and most important, I did not want to see people deliberately sitting out the first month of trying for absolutely no reason, thinking things like "well if getting pregnant the first month sways, I'll be sure not to get pregnant/do everything in my power TO get pregnant" when the "getting pregnant" part of it really has nothing to do with the outcome of the sway! Your body has no way to know how many months you've been trying; if getting pregnant fast indicates anything, NOT getting pregnant fast, deliberately, doesn't then mean that the outcome is changed, it's basically an arbitrary thing, if that makes any sense.
I would cut that dose in half since it comes in two capsules. We are seeing SCH forming at that level of intake.
Whenever someone has gender desire I think it's nearly always best to find out. A few people insist that it's better for them not to find out until they have a child to focus on, and I respect that, but overall I find that a very large number people who don't find out, are really doing it to "keep hope alive as long as possible." By hope, they mean a possible fantasy, not just "maybe it's a boy, maybe it's a girl" type of thinking, like they basically pretend for nine months that they're getting the gender they are hoping for because "I'll never have the chance to experience this otherwise". I have been deeply concerned with the level of denial and even outright playacting that some people who are Team Green engage in. Even tho it may be pleasurable while it's going on, it is WORSE than nothing because people feel like they have something that is then taken away.
They allow themselves to think they're having a successful sway as long as possible and then are in for a shock right at the moment of supreme physical, mental, emotional, and hormonal challenge. We have had a small, but concerning minority of people have legitimate mental breakdowns in the delivery room or shortly thereafter (one lady had a wrong reading on an ultrasound so just had a massive shock and she ended up hysterical and having to be sedated, but others simply refused to find out so they could continue believing as long as possible that they were getting the gender they'd hoped for.) Two people that I can think of even ended up hospitalized, one for weeks, another for a couple days. This is obviously not the norm but it has happened.
If you can honestly, truly, keep in mind that it can absolutely be an opposite, and you find it might be helpful to you not to know, that's one thing. But if you're going into Team Green because you just like daydreaming that you're getting a guarantee, you like staying wrapped up in that possibility and just don't want to shatter the illusion, then I strongly suggest finding out. As hard as I try to push back on this, I still regularly have people who are just devastated, blindsided, and simply can't even believe that their sway could have possibly failed. As much as I say there are no guarantees, people do still think they have a guarantee with a "perfect" sway and it's really hard to accept. I see this so often that I just really do believe finding out is best for virtually everyone.
For me, I hadn't found out with my first two (had no gender preference) and for whatever reason, I did with my 3rd. I was SO SURE he was a girl! I "just knew" he was a girl, same as how I'd "just known" my first child was a boy. All the symptoms and signs were there, the stupid Chinese Gender calendar, heartbeat, etc etc and I was absolutely floored and devastated hearing "she" was a he. It was one of the worst moments of my whole life. It really felt like this changeling had basically killed my daughter who I had been so certain was coming. Because I found out, it gave me some time to make peace with it, buy some super cute boy clothes, get my head back on straight because I was being absolutely ridiculous! That little girl that I had imagined wasn't real, had never been real, and I was having feelings of rejection, even rage at this innocent child who had done absolutely nothing wrong at all. And by the time he came, I was ready for his arrival (and a good thing too because OMword he was a handful from minute one! I would so not have wanted to be dealing with a challenging child at the same time I was feeling the grief of gender disappointment).
Thanks Atomic, I appreciate your detailed reply. I'll chat to my husband about it, he said he's happy to do whatever I want in terms of finding out or not. We might get gender results at the 10 week test and then keep them in an envelope and read them later in the pregnancy, if we decide to find out. I don't want to find out at a 19 week scan because they're too unreliable!
I think like you say it's all about mentality. I think with DS2 I had subconsciously convinced myself he was a girl, and DH thought he was too because of the swaying, so then it was like whaaaaat when we got the results back. This time I'm going to be much more realistic, because statistically speaking, you know what I mean. I'm definitely not going to spend 9 months convinced it's a girl, if anything I'd be convinced it's a boy.
It's strange because in examining my feelings about this it's really other people's comments and rudeness that gets to me the most, it was their reactions and comments last time that peeved me, so I think if anything it's a sign that I just need to grow a thicker skin. There are lessons in everything. People say stupid stuff, full stop. My best friend has 3 beautiful sons and another good friend of mine has 5 boys, one of whom is best friends with my eldest. They have such gorgeous children. I've always been a highly sensitive person (just like my beautiful DS1), and it's not something that I can change, but I can be aware of it and put it into perspective.
The fatigue and morning sickness has kicked in big time and that always makes me feel emotionally whack too. Last pregnancy I was like YAY BFP and then 2 nights later couldn't sleep having a panic attack about the kids' age gap being too close?! Haha 2.5 years is such a great gap & they get along so well, but I remember phoning the midwife in tears about the age gap worrying it was too close and she just said "honey, you are filled with so many pregnancy hormones right now"... she was right! Re: age gaps, there will be 3 years 2 months between DS2 and this baby, which is exactly the gap I had dreamed of this time around, so feeling very blessed indeed.
Taking things one day at a time, booked my dating scan for mid-April, very excited to see this little being!! Will be good to get out of Covid iso too (3 more days to go), it's raining again here so we all have cabin fever big time!
Hi ladies! Popping on here a little early as I should ovulate in 4 days and be on the 2ww.
Congratulations Cookies exciting news for you!!!
Were you trying for a Girl? What do you like or what did you try for your sway?
We are trying for a girl after a successful boy sway, he is just 7 months but I am not getting any younger :) I will be 42 this summer.
You mean the 10 week NIPT, right?? Ultrasounds are not reliable at that stage.
:agree: great to go in realistic, that's absolutely for the best. Team Green or not that's the way to go.
The truly weirdest thing about getting my desired gender was this - people STILL said stupid stuff! I had someone look my daughter in the face and say "Four brothers? I sure do feel sorry for YOU!" People still said things about trying for sisters, how lonely she would be, about how old I was, I'd die before she got married, that I should have got a dog/cat/Barbie doll instead, etc etc etc.
I think a lot of us think that the comments are because of our kids' gender, when in reality people just blurt things out. Just like you're saying, it's always something, and even when mostly we can ignore it, the thing is when it's something that already bothers us, well then it BOTHERS us bothers us, KWIM?
Oh yes the pregnancy hormones do wreak havoc! Hang in there, I'm sorry about the morning sickness!! Keep me posted how it's going for you and let me know if you need anything.
Thank you so much Atomic. You have no idea how much your words bring me comfort.
I am struggling big time with prenatal hormone-induced anxiety. I expected it as I had the same experience with all 3 of my pregnancies.
Of course it seems impossible for me to not analyse my sway, which is so silly because it's done now! But I was wondering if you could put my mind at ease.
When planning the sway I didn't do a tonne of reading because I already knew a bit from the previous time and I didn't want to get obsessed. I'd heard 0+12 mentioned but then saw a thread where it was dismissed. Now in reading the 'how we got our girls' thread there seem to be a lot of women who got pink with 0+12. I'm wondering if I should have attempted that as I have such clear O pains.
We BD on CD8 and CD11, both in the evening. On the morning of CD11 I got a positive OPK. That afternoon I was trying to decide whether I should BD that night or the next morning. I'm guessing the next morning would have qualified as 0+12 (I had ovulation cramping around 9pm the evening of CD11). However I don't think I could have held myself back from BDing when I felt those cramps. I've read that it takes 10 hours or so for sperm to capacitate, which makes me think that BD the morning of CD12 would have resulted in a BFN because it would literally give like an hour for the capacitated sperm to get an egg? It would be cutting the window so fine wouldn't it?
Then there's also a tiny part of me that thinks if we didn't BD CD11 then we'd have a 3 day cut off with CD8, but I've read that BD 3 days before O is only a 14% chance of conception, pretty low IMO, even if I did have lots of EWCM! I keep thinking back to that day CD11. I had been to a funeral that day and was feeling very much like I wanted to BD because I wanted to connect in with DH (and I got a high reading on the OPK), so it felt right, as did CD8. I think waiting til the next day would have been too scary for me as I was already so thin and wanted to conceive without wasting time, and in previous cycles I'd aimed at a 2 day cut off, not 3 as 3 seems ridiculous low odds for conception. I'm a big believer in intuition and I definitely felt like I wanted to make love on CD 8 and CD11. A 3 day cut off probably would have resulted in a BFN even though I did feel wet down there. I just wonder though, because it seems like my DH has super sperm, so maybe we could have conceived a girl with a 3 day cut off? There are so many conflicting reports on different forums, some women swear it worked for them multiple times etc. I guess if Shettles really did work or there was any obvious pattern then Fertility Friend charts would all demonstrate it!
At least I think with this approach I have balls in both parks; there's a possibility that the CD8 sperm fertilised the egg and also a possibility that CD11 got it. I know I can get an opposite with literally 1 attempt 1 day before O (that's my DS2!), so I have to let go of the idea of having done a 3 day cut off alone. It's just hard because I know a couple of women who have conceived girls this way, by DTD just after they finished their period and conceived pink. It's hard not to think 'why didn't I just try what she did?'. There will always be something that we could have changed, with any sway. I think that's what makes swaying hard.
I think a lot of my worries are triggered by my past experience, stressing about our one attempt one day before O. Makes me wonder if cut offs work for some and not for others... my DS1 we BD every single day from AF to AF (I had gained weight recently though after getting married), DS2 was one attempt 1 day before O, but I had only been on the diet for 10-11 weeks. This time I've been on the diet 14 weeks but have been losing weight for much longer, around 5 months, no breakfast for a year, consistently exercising and losing weight, and I conceived this baby at a my lowest ever adult BMI of 17.1 (honestly I was worried about losing O, I'm so thin).
Sorry for my rambling, I think I need to spend some time thinking seriously about the benefits of each scenario, because they're both wonderful, the idea of 3 little boys growing up together sounds quite storybook to me too. It's really just the feeling of 'did I stuff it up / would it have been a different outcome if I'd had a cut off etc' and other people's comments that get me, but as you say, people say dumb things ALL the time regardless. I know a woman who has 1 kid and gets criticised for that, someone with 5 boys, and a friend of mine who has a girl and 3 boys and everyone kept saying "poor Skylar" (her daughter). So you're right! People are jerks! Haha.
Thanks for cruising with me while I ride all the waves. Hormones are wild. I guess I'm just worried I stuffed things up timing-wise. But I know you've seen HUNDREDS of sways and you know that Shettles does not work, regardless of how many times you try it!
EDIT: I just re-read my original post on 'back after an opposite' and going into this, my whole approach was intended to be an 'invisible' sway, so knowing that I wanted it invisible & relaxed, that's what I definitely got, doing the BD when we felt like it (luckily fell into e4D), along with consistent weight loss, exercise and LE for 14+ weeks. That makes me feel better, like this is precisely how it is supposed to be.