JUNE/JULY/AUGUST 2014 DUE DATE CLUB

[menlc611]

Aidansmum where do you go once on the main page? I'm confused lol

[aidansmum]

Aidansmum where do you go once on the main page? I'm confused lol

I'm not even sure....sorry I think I went to the FREE GENDER PREDICTION bit but I followed an online link, not their main page. Sorry.

[menlc611]

No worries!!!

[Mumto3boys]

Thanks sorry everyone for getting you down - your like my free psychologists or friends that I feel completely comfortable with pouring my heart out cause you UNDERSTAND. Heres the thing my story may be slightly different from others...??

I did not have a relationship with my grandmother, but my mum we are so close that I long to share a bond the same and I fear for the day she's not here, I also have an older sister 6 years older and we have never really been close with such a gap, she was also bigger than me so no sharing clothes, no shoes, and when I became a 'woman' she wasn't there to help me and my mum wasn't too much help in this area :/
Anyhow my little sister who I was extremely close to became 'transgender' from about 18 and at the time was so hard to lose a sister almost as she had died and was reborn my brother? Years later now he's still the same person just different and I love him just the same, but a part is lost and always will be. So I guess I'm still somewhat in mourning. Oh and we all think we're going to have granddaughters? well that's what my MIL felt and her two sons one won't have kids and mine produces boys so that sux for her too.

Then at my wedding this so called 'psychic' friend of the family stood up to say her congratulations and told my 100+ guess that our first baby would be a girl of course I was happy about that - she even told me that she would look just like me on my wedding day! but now it just leaves me angry that somehow she put a voodoo on me? lol

Anyway that's my guff! today was a different day and I'm doing okay - I went to the doctors to book my referral for scan and put it to her about these tests and in her professional opinion said the mothers blood and babies blood is separate and unless they took blood directly from the baby itself. She does believe cells from previous babies stay in your system for a long time but the baby in you has a different blood supply to your own and is separated by a membrane for should it mix at any point it may actually cause complications. So I'm going into it with an open mind and believe the ultrasound or even better at birth

Greasemonkey I really hear you, its the people around you that make it extremely difficult. Purely and simply they don't understand and you get the same what about the people who can't have children or have abnormalities... and yes its true I feel horrible and selfish but at the same time its a different situation and my saying is "if you can't walk a mile in my shoes then don't judge, period" ... and if any stranger chooses to comment about me having boys I have changed from laughing it off or feeling stink to replying yes I do aren't I clever.

Family are the worst! and "Friends" can be cruel but instead I choose to hold my head high and think yes I can get pregnant actually first time round, I am built to push out babies all 3 being under 3 hours drug free - and most of all their all healthy so for that I'm thankful for being one tough mudda!

So I will ask you the question do you have anything you would like to get off your chest? and what is something positive you have learned this experience?

Nats

Mumto3boys I completely understand all that you are saying. Damn symptoms can be so misleading I really felt this was a girl also. My symptoms are the same as with my DD. I have spent way to many days sick, really sick & miserable. I hoped that was because of my DD & that made the sickness ok. Once I heard DS so many thoughts went through my mind. There are moments that I have asked is it all worth it, but than I remember all of those who have suffered loss & I remind myself that as sad I was to hear boy I would feel much worse if the promise of this child was no longer here. I also knew it wasn't fair for me to feel so down as I do have a DD but it did & does still brake my heart. Yes I wanted her to have a sister & I guess I'm still coping with the loss of my Grandmother a few months ago. This DD was supposed to be named after her. I guess in my own grief I made myself believe that I would have another DD named after her & it would be my connection to her. Hearing boy took that chance away & shattered my heart.

Its funny how you mention about your boys being so great to you yesterday mine were the same in the days after I heard boy its as if they know. While it is easier said than done I think at this point for me it is easier to repeat to myself that these wonderful sons of mine are going to marry amazing women & I'm going to get a ton of granddaughters & be wishing for a grandson!

I did make a pro-boy vs pro-girl list & that did help me some. I hope it gets easier for you as days go on. Even more I hope that your test was wrong & you hear girl at your ultrasound & get to finally use that absolutely beautiful name you have waiting. In the meantime ((hugs)) & just know we are here for you if you need us.

[Mumto3boys]

GOD THAT WAS HUGE SORRY DIDN'T REALISE I WAS WRITING AN ESSAY! LOL

[Waiting4Daisy]

Deleted.

[Waiting4Daisy]

Deleted.

[menlc611]

Mumto3boys - I'm so sorry to hear about your family situation and how it has left you feeling!! Here is my story (I apologize now if it's long!):

Growing up I had an older brother and an older sister. My parents worked a lot and had a rough marriage so they really weren't around/involved much. My brother tucked us in and read us stories. My sister was my go-to girl and my best friend. (She still is!) but I never had a relationship with my mom and I still don't. She annoys the crap out of me and tries to act like she was mom of the year. I resent her for a lot of reasons and feel if she was around more I wouldn't have had my first child when I was 17. (I'm not blaming her, I take full responsibilities for my actions, but if she was more involved in my life and what I was doing and she was there for me to talk to, it possibly could have been prevented) once I had my son, I was so in love!! When I was 20 I became pregnant again. Part of me thought a girl would be nice but I didn't really care. Well I had my second boy and I was happy. It was me and my 2 boys and I thought that was all I needed. Then I met my now husband. I had no intentions of getting married or having more kids. Well, obviously that changed lol we got married and he wanted a baby right away which was fine with me since my older 2 were then 8 and 5. At this point, I wanted another boy. I was so good at raising boys! And if we had a girl, would she grow up like me and be a teen mom? Would she hate me growing up like I hated my mom? Would she resent me? What if I couldn't raise her to respect herself and not have sex? Well, DH desperately wanted a girl. He was 100% convinced it was a girl. Picked out a girls name, bought girl clothes, called the baby "she".. He wouldn't even consider the fact it could be a boy. The day we found out "she" was a HE, the feelings that rushed through me we unexplainable. I burst into tears. I felt like I had let him down. I failed. I felt guilty, depressed, shocked.. I cried for days and days. That was the point when my gender dreaming started. I now felt like I HAD to have a girl. My husband needed a daddy's girl. I felt guilty because I already had 2 kids so I felt like I was denying him those chances if getting a girl. If he had married someone with no kids, they would have had 4 chances to have a girl. But he's stuck with me and now only has 1 more chance. I researched day and night on how to have a girl and I approached him with the "family completion". You pay $2,500 and you're guaranteed you're dream gender. (I'm sure there is a name for it, but I forget) DH quickly shot the idea down. I continued to research and in the meantime, had DS3 who I fell in love with immediately and to this day I can't get enough of!! I came across this site in dec. 2012 and showed it to DH. We decided we would get a sway plan and do our best to get a DD. Ever since then I've been obsessing about it. Once I finally got pregnant the first few weeks were hell. All I could think about was is it a girl?! I was finally able to stop thinking about it until I was told possibly girl. Now I wonder well is it my girl? Or will we be told boy again? Either way I know we will love the baby. But losing the daughter we'll never have will be hard. It's hard because DH wants a DD probably more than I do and I will feel like I let him down.

Sorry for the novel, but that's my story! I'll admit I'm scared to have a girl. But I know I will be a better mother to her than my mother was to me. But since my sister is my best friend, it will be hard for me to accept the fact that she will have to grow up without a sister and that breaks my heart too!

[dreams529]

My story, I wasn't very close to my Mom & although we are closer today it is still not the closest relationship. We are def very different people & have a hard time communicating. I was very close to both of my Grandmothers growing up. Spent every moment with one when I was younger & as I grew older spent even more time with the other. My maternal Grandmother really & truly was my best friends until she passed away a few months ago. She was the one who I talked to about anything & everything she was an amazing woman & extremely important part of my life. Coincidently both of my Grandmothers share the same first name which this baby was supposed to be named after.

Now I know my story is a bit different because I do have a DD but initially I did not bond with her. I live in FL & she was born 3 days after a major hurricane tore through & destroyed our town. We made out better than most but we had lots of damage no power or water for weeks & with a 23 month old & being 9 months prego you can imagine it was a crazy scary & emotional time. Friday was the storm & Mon I went in to the hospital my Dr. broke my water but what he didn't realize at the time was she was breech & 9lb 6oz I labored for awhile than the nurse wanted to see how dilated I was. She was the one that realized something wasn't right. I at that point had to be rushed in for a immediate surgery. They had to knock me out because I can not have an epidural. I woke up in recovery & they wouldn't take me back to my room because they were to shorthanded. I eventually wound up threatening to get up & walk if they didn't get me to my baby that I hadn't even seen yet. I was away from her forever & never got that initial chance to bond. Follow all of that up with clean up from the storm, still no power, water & later I wound up with an infection at the incision site. It was a horrible experience & to this the day it is not as easy for her & I as it is for my boys.

Don't know if this makes sense but, I have done the boy thing 3 times I have gotten it right but I have not had the chance to do the girl thing again & get it right. Further my 2 oldest sons have ADHD & the oldest has some mild autistic traits. My 3rd is fine but I worry that another boy could chance having some medical issues going forward.

Whatever this baby is I am OK with it. I do know that I have my DD & what happened in the past does not define our relationship now or in the future. I also know that the relationships with my Grandmothers can not be replaced by this child. I did tell my Grandmother in our last conversation that I wanted to have another & name it after her so she left this world knowing that & really that was the best I could do. My sons are amazing. Smart, athletic & if I do say so quite handsome. If this one is another boy I will be extremely lucky to have the pleasure of raising another one.

Thank you for sharing your stories. I really hope we all get our happy endings!

[from2to3]

I have to vent about something stupid for a second. I don't really get food cravings or aversions while pregnant, but lately I've definitely needed my water to be ice cold. Which is funny because usually in the winter time I don't put ice in my water because it makes me too cold. Anyways....our ice machine quit making ice last night...grr! Really?? And we have to have a reverse osmosis system so our water is not very cold. Ok...got that out of my system...

My story in a nutshell so I don't write a novel....I'm not very close to my mom, never have been. We are opposites. I was raised with my dad and brother, until he moved out when I was 14, then it was just my dad. (Long story here but won't get into that).
I have half-sisters but they are WAY older than me and I didn't grow up with them, and they live a long ways away. Hardly talk. My mom lives close by but we just aren't close. So...I feel like I've never had that 'girl bond'. I have good friends that are girls, and I get along fine with my MIL and SIL, but it's different. My friends all have their girls now too. I just always thought I would have at least one boy and girl, and have always promised I would be a better mom. But, if I do have another boy, it might be better off. I probably wouldn't know what to do with a girl anyhow! But it I do, I am going to try so hard to be there for her, for everything. I'd also love for my husband to have a 'daddy's girl'.
It is what it is. If it is a boy it's going to hurt but I know that it is part of God's better plan for me, if it is a girl then I will be so thankful!