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Thread: Sad :(

  1. #21
    Dream Vet

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    Last edited by Waiting4Daisy; August 1st, 2021 at 08:48 AM.

  2. #22
    Big Dreamer

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    I just wanted to jump in and join the group! Due in August! I think unless the nub is very boyish, and I have seen some very obvious ones, I wouldn't obsess. I have only seen girly nubs on my dds and the whole angle thing is really hard. I saw a friends 12 week scan and she didn't know anything about nubs and I knew right then and there it was a boy. I think though, some boys are obvious.

    TTC Blue!

  3. #23
    Big Dreamer

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    I checked out the nub and oh my, it is girly. I don't like nubsessing and hoping I don't need a scan around that time.
    TTC Blue!

  4. #24
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    GreaseMonkey's Avatar
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    Welcome Spicy and congratulations!!

    Thank you, I am trying really hard not to obsess! It's a good thing that it's the weekend and usually we are so busy I don't have time for anything else I will know hopefully on the 25th, I will be 15 weeks then and hope it's obvious! Either way I am itching to start shopping !
    2/04

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  5. #25
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    gafan's Avatar
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    I'm trying to decide where to give birth to my first baby and have to choose this month. The options are: hospital (with epidural pain relief available) or birth center (with tubs for laboring but no drugs). I'll have a doula to help either way.

    I am wondering what you mothers out there experienced during labor and delivery. Would any of you care to share your experiences?

    Specifically, I'm wondering about pain relief. It is really common to get an epidural for pain relief where I live- almost expected. But I've also learned it may be healthier to avoid an epidural when possible. I've got no problems using medicine to help if the risks are low/reasonable, and I haven't done enough research yet to decide what I'm most comfortable with.

    How did you mothers manage pain during childbirth? Any things you wish you had known? Regrets? Things you are glad you did? Thanks in advance for your input.

  6. #26
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    LilithWiser1979's Avatar
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    OOOHHH BOY! Are there ever lots of opinions out there about how best to birth and labor! You opened a can of worms, LOL!

    I had my first with epidural in the hospital and the only way I could ever be dragged there to birth again is if someone drugged me and I woke up there strapped to a bed and in labor. Seriously, I feel so violated by the experience that I still get angry thinking about it. No one cared about my birth plan, my baby was born blue and not breathing because a lazy nurse marked my chart that she had checked my dilation when she hadn't, and my epidural ensured that I couldn't feel that I was at 10 centimeters for god-knows-how-long, UGH! I got swollen feet and ankles from the excessive fluids forced on me, the narcotics in the epidural made me feel distant, and not care when my baby was born (seriously, I had waited for that moment my entire life, and if someone had asked me in that moment if I wanted to give him up for adoption, I'd probably have shrugged and said, "Sure, why not?") and I ended up with digestive issues because of the excessive antibiotics they gave me in my IV drip.

    My second birth, however, was the complete opposite. If it hadn't been for my HORRIBLE extreme gender disappointment, I'd have called this a perfect birth. I was in a birth center, had a water birth 17 minutes after I walked through the door (didn't realize that "feeling yucky and crampy" all night meant I was in labor) and I was allowed to move about as I pleased. I had none of the negative side effects of my hospital birth, I was located less than 5 minutes from an emergency room if that had been necessary, and I have to say that my births were not the worst pain I've ever experienced in my life (kidney infections are a BITCH!) My pitocin-influenced contractions pre-epidural with my first birth were SO much worse than the contractions with my second.

    Ultimately, it's about what you want in a birth. If you need the security of knowing the NICU is down the hall, the hospital is for you. If you need to feel honored and listened to, need your own decisions to be adhered to, go with an out-of-hospital birth.
    My Gender Dream came true, my family is complete!

    2007 2011 2014

  7. #27
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    I chose right from the beginning I wanted to have a natural birth (in hospital). I chose this because I am stubborn, hated the thought of huge needle in my back, didn't want meds to slow labor, hate taking meds, and wanted to be able to get up right away and move.

    My first boy, caught me by surprise and came at 36 1/2 weeks and of course was back labor. I was making a late supper and my back started hurting really bad. Thought maybe I was finally getting Braxton hicks but realized it was too severe and only in back. I then timed "just in case contractions" and they were only like 20 seconds apart...thought no way. Went potty had the 'show'. Went to hospital, found out I was 7 cm. Bounced on ball and did whatever to get it moving as fast as possible. Shortly after, I pushed twice and out baby came. I was glad I was in a hospital because I was really worried he came so early - luckily he was a perfectly healthy boy, ready to conquer! I got up right away and actually walked to our post-partum room!

    Second boy waited until 39 weeks. Recognized symptoms right away (not back labor tho!) and hurried to hospital thinking my second might come even faster. Was only 4 cm but labor went just as fast. I am glad I delivered in a hospital (I had a great experience) and drug-free. It definitely hurts, and the saying "ring of fire" holds true but you have to expect that...you are pushing out a baby! I had hard, strong contractions with both but I knew once baby was out it would be over. It helps knowing that it won't go on forever! I also have a high pain tolerance.

    I do have friends that have went natural and then epidural...and they say epidural is the way to go. They were able to rest and such, and obviously not feel the pain. Either way, it depends on the person and the labor. There is no shame no matter what you do...what matters is that in the end there is a healthy baby and mommy!!!

    The best advice I can give....RELAX YOUR BODY!!! Do not tense up during contractions, try to be as relaxed as possible. Your body knows what its doing, let it do it's job!! I firmly believe that's why I had such fast labors. (That and a complete stranger prayed for me to have such)
    DS1 2009

    DS2 2011

    DS3 is here and precious as can be

  8. #28
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    All 4 were in a hospital. 1st was with a spinal& narcotics, it was pain free but I developed a spinal headache after delivery & it was the worst most painful pain I have ever had in my life. I can also say after delivery I was completely out of it. All I wanted to do was sleep & to echo what lilithwiser said I might have let them take him if they asked. My 2nd was a C-section cause she was breech & over 9lbs. That one I had to get knocked out because after the first spinal headache I am not allowed to have a spinal or an epidural again.

    Last 2 were drug free because they were vbac's & I was not allowed to have meds. #3 was forever long & contractions were horrible had a doula but she was worthless she just wanted to watch TV. #4 was an easy perfect birth. Yes it was painful & there were moments I wanted drugs & at one point I remember just telling my DR to forget it, just knock me out & take him out. But it was over fast & I was up & moving & holding my DS & sooooo happy.

    It is a very personal choice. I don't think I would have ever chosen drug free on my own but I am so glad that I was forced in to it. Not gonna lie it hurts but that pain does end. For me the contractions were the worst the pushing part was never that bad & it was usually 2 pushes & they were out. I did learn from #3 if you can relax & just go with it (which is easier said than done) your body will make things progress much faster which is the best.
    02 04 06 10 14

  9. #29
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    Thanks for your stories. These are helpful...
    If my hospital had a tub I could soak in, jacuzzi or not, I would plan to deliver there as naturally as possible with the hospital midwives and my doula. But they only have showers. I imagine a tub would really make a difference for me.

  10. #30
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    The tub made all the difference in the world to me! I will say that some hospitals have tubs for laboring, and some that do have tubs have a "no tub after water has broken" policy, which makes no sense to me, since this is when you want to be in the tub the MOST. The tub was immediate pain relief, and that's less than 5 minutes before PUSHING!

    I hope you make the decision that makes YOU the most comfortable, since it is YOUR birth and YOUR experience. I wish I had known that there were worse things in life than pain, and that NO MATTER what, you can always refuse any suggested medical intervention/procedure. Make sure that you take control of your birth and make it yours. It's not your fault that the hospital wants to get people in and out and make a profit, or that the c-section rate isn't something they concern themselves with.
    My Gender Dream came true, my family is complete!

    2007 2011 2014

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