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  1. #21
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    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Eat a piece of cake. You need the fat and calories, and like I was saying, it looks to me like you can't get enough calories without having some sugar now and then. I think you're going to have to keep going with some sugar, the M and M's, TimTams, a piece of cake now and then because you aren't able to get enough calories without it.
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  2. #22
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    Hmmm...M&M's and timtams, and nutella are no more happening at the moment... trying to stick to your plan as much as possible. But you are right, I feel like i keep eating, and i keep losing. It must very much be the not eating at all from 7pm to 12 or 1pm everyday. It's funny in the morning it's not hard at all. Once I have lunch, I crave so much... I feel super hungry all afternoon. Oh well, I'll have a piece of cake tomorrow :-). I managed to avoid it today. I do have the necessary fat in my diet.. with cheese and at least 1 yogurt a day, and a little milk in my coffee... so why is my ovulation going back to delaying mode ? :-( Anything else I can do to help that ?

  3. #23
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    Add them back in. As I mentioned in the plan and in this thread, I wanted you to try for no sugar, and then we may need to add them in. Well, we need to add them in! Some people can't get by with just the alternate diet and you are apparently in that category, so please adjust the plan accordingly now since I find you are not getting enough calories to continue ovulating.
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  4. #24
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    atomic sagebrush's Avatar
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    Are you getting 50-60 g protein and fat not counting the protein and fat in fruit and veg?
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  5. #25
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    Update:

    Why do I keep having the timing wrong?!!!

    Cycle 1 : BD CD 13, O on CD 16
    Cycle 2 : BD CD 12, O on CD 17
    Cycle 3: BD CD 15, O on CD 18
    Cycle 4 : BD CD 14, O on CD 17
    Cycle 5 : BD CD 12, O on CD 15
    Cycle 6 : BD CD 13, O on CD 16
    Cycle 7 (this month) : BD on CD 16 (thinking, not trying cut off anymore) and O on CD 19!!!

    Seriously, it's like nature is finding its own way to make me ovulate 3 or 4 days everytime after BD and it changes everymonth. And yet, I use Ovulation tests. Now, this month, maybe you can help me Atomic :

    Chances to bd were either CD 14 or CD 16 (away with the kids - all sleeping in 1 room!). So I opted for CD 16 closer to O or even through O. Did Ovulation test from day 10 to day 16. Used my last of CD 16 and it was much darker. Not positive yet, but getting really dark. So BD'd on CD 16 and oh miracle it worked! (Cause I cannot decide when BD will be successful - DH has low sex drive). Had EWCM CD 16, thought it was a good deal. CD 17, EWCM again, but didn't want to risk a second attempt. CD 18 yesterday EWCM again in the morning and thought it was drying up last night, so didn't BD. And this morning, really thought O was over, and here I am feeling really wet even though I can't see any EWCM, but the wet feeling is here. So I am guessing O is for today ? And I can't BD tonight!!!! :-( DH has huge presentation tomorrow, and colleagues are coming over for work, they might work until midnight. Atomic, what do you know about CM ? Is the wet feeling really indicating ovulation ? This is a very late ovulation (CD 19 on 27 day cycle). God, I am really getting depressed with irregular cycle.

  6. #26
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    You need to go to every 4 days. That's the only thing you can do here. (although this month was weird because you guys were away.)

    But that having been said, it is still entirely possible you ovulated earlier than you think. Many of us notice that wetness even a day or two after ovulation. With my daughter I had EWCM for a couple days after O (and my O was confirmed by ultrasound so this was a for sure thing)

    Go ahead and have another attempt today. Yes, it may be too late, but maybe not, and CD 16 for a CD 20 or 21 O is not going to end in conception.
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  7. #27
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    Hey,

    I just wanted to come with an update. I think Im calling it a "quit". Opk only became positive this morning (cycle day 20), so I am clearly delaying ovulation more and more. We've DTD on day 14, and DH has not been able to "complete" since then... it just doesn't work :-(. I managed to make him "complete" on the day before yesterday and inserted myself with a seringe... but I know chances are almost nil. I think I am getting really close to depression now. Went from size 38 to size 34 in a year, and I am really close to a size 32.

    I am turning 40 next month... so it's now been 12 months of missing the timing, it;s really like ALL odds are against me.

    I guess, I'd rather have 3 boys with a mother, rather than 4 without, I don't think this all very healthy. I am sooo depressed, and I am not sure how I will ever manage to accept that I now have to let go.

    I desperately tried to DTD last night, and again this morning... finally hubby left for work feeling totally diminished, and me totally depressed... No chance do I get to try again tonight it won't work.

    :-(

  8. #28
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    One last chance for Baby girl

    Hey, I donít often come on here anymore as Iím so busy with 5 kids but happened to see your post and it really struck a chord so just wanted to give you some reassurance.
    I was in your situation except with 4 boys and me approaching 40 and DH approaching 50 and so ridiculously desperate for a little girl. DH had agreed but as soon as I had my iud removed we starting having the same issues - he was suddenly either too tired, ill or couldnít finish.
    I was beyond depressed and constantly in tears and our marriage began to suffer.
    I could see that he desperately didnít want to disappoint me but the added pressure of knowing exactly when we needed to dtd was making it impossible for him. Then I would become angry and frustrated and heíd feel even more inadequate and even more desperate to be able to do what was needed of him. It was a vicious circle.
    I decided I had to take the pressure off and told him we would stop trying and just see what happened. In reality I carried on as before and was strict with my diet and opks. I made sure we had time alone so that we could do e4d even if it meant booking a day off work or waking up super early. Instead of being stressed and reminding him how important dtd was I made sure we had lots of affection that didnít have to lead to dtd and reminded him how good a dad he was to the boys and how proud I was of him as a husband. Basically I had to rebuild his confidence whilst secretly keeping a tight grip on my sway but going it alone. It was tough for a while but I was amazed how quickly it worked. We were soon doing e4d with none of the issues he was having before. Inbetween e4d or outside of my fertile window I would make sure I made him finish in other ways too so that it took the focus of always having to be inside of me.
    At first it was a very conscious switch from feeling like he was to blame for my desperate state of mind to reminding myself that he was feeling like the responsibility for my happiness was all on his shoulders.
    Sorry for the long reply but reading your post I just really felt for you and wanted to offer you an alternative to giving up which is exactly how I was feeling.
    That was 2 and a half years ago and we now have a beautiful, mischievous 15 month old daughter who has completed our family and the relief of not having to deal with gender disappointment anymore is indescribable.
    I wish more than anything that all the ladies on here get to feel that too.
    Sending you a virtual hug and the strength to give that final push to follow your dream. I am proof that it really is possible even when it feels like you have reached the end of the line.
    Hope this helps a little x


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    Last edited by Northernsparkle; July 4th, 2020 at 01:06 PM.

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  10. #29
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    I am so sorry you guys are struggling.

    Is there any way you can do some sort of compromise where you ease up on diet and then just accept that whatever happens, happens?? that has been a kind of transition for many of us. We decide, well, this is probably not going to happen, and try to move on, but because the door is still a little bit open it isn't so soul crushing and we can give ourselves time to get our head and heart right before closing the door forever?
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  11. #30
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    Thank you so much for your reply... I read it days ago, but I was feeling so down, I couldn't get myself to take the time to discuss it all... But after a few days here I am. Still feeling so low.

    Thank you for sharing your story with me. And I am soo glad you managed to get your baby girl, I am starting to really think this is never going to happen to me which really gets me depressed. Life is not fair. I lost my mum suddenly I was 17, and since then I have been waiting to have children of my own to fill somehow that huge hole in my soul. It took me years to meet someone with all the stress of never having kids. I finally got married at 34, MC at 34, 1st boy aat 35, 2nd boy at 36, MC again, 3rd boy at 38, and trying since then. I do not have a sister, I have one brother but a weird sister in law and 10 years younger, we do not have much in common so my brother I don't see him much. No god mother, or aunts that Im really close to... That leaves me with a dad (an incredible one :-)), a brother, a husband (who I consider as my miracle), 3 boys... no girls whatsoever in my life and that makes miss my mum even more. Also, I dreamt of giving my daughter her name... my way of making her live some more. Anyway, my doctor told me a daughter would never give me a mother back... of course I know that... I/m not crazy :-). But it would be life giving me mother-daughter relationship no matter how different that turns out to be. I ser all around me girls complaining about mother in laws, and I think that's all im ever going to be.. a mother in law who needs to ask permission to hold her grand children. Ok you all, don't shout at me, I know that can be different... I am hurting right now so be nice :-). I know many people cannot have kids, and I feel for them, and I am sooooo proud of my boys make NO mistakes. They are my universe...but why is that hole so deep and big and so empty ?

    I have a female cousin, younger but who I love very much... And yet here she comes, 26 years old, gets married. Falls pregnant no MC, gives birth to a son, cries a little she wanted a girl, Stays at her mom's for help, has 2 sisters to share things with, falls pregnant when baby boy is 3, no MC again... and oh surprise... baby girl... ! How can anyone just be so lucky ? I love her, but she gave birth 2 weeks ago, and I cannot see her baby, I cannot share her happiness, and I feel like an aweful person. Sorry for all that, I feel horrible, and I do feel grateful for what life gave me.. SO grateful. But why can't I keep following my dream too ? Also both my parents got cancer so a non healthy diet freaks me out too. Cow milk for me is the last thing I want to be having, then how could I get that calcium. Thanks to Atomic I managed to let that go (the calcium requirement). One thing I am having a tough time to let go is timing. All my boys were conceived 1 attempt, night before O... third one on diet. So I can't keep thinking why would another shot be different ? But I am working on it.

    What was your timing ? E4d worked for you then... Was it close to ovulation ?

    Sorry for the late message everyone, and sorry for sending negative vibes.. It will get better.

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