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  1. #31
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    Hay Atomic, thank you for your message.

    Yes I am trying to let go, but it is SO hard... how can anyone just let go a dream ? I feel like I could try for a few more months. But hubby is giving up, and is thinking now it's too late and doesn't want baby 4 anymore. What if the baby is not normal ? Whaf if you die ? What if its boy number 4? And could I take the responsibility all by myself...? Anyway, I'll see how next cycle go if we succeed in DTD at all...

    Anyway I have a few questions :

    - Sperm sorting is available here... Now I know you don't believe in it but what if I had a shot ? It would help in the 1 attempt, in the DTD problem, I ccould keep doing the diet... but husband is not too keen for the moment... But if he was, maybe that could help. I would never do the invitro one though.
    - I feel like not using clomid or femara is playing against me. But because of family breast cancer, Dr are against me taking any hormones. Could I still get a girl without it ?
    - I have a very short luteal phase which I suppoe means I have low progesterone... Isn't low progesterone a boy sway ? And please don't say low progesterone means high oestrogen, because to me high oestrogen is dangerous for breast cancer!

    I am so confused right now and so tired too.

  2. #32
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    I am really thinking too much aren't I ?

  3. #33
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    You know, my husband said all that stuff too, and at some point I realized it was him just not wanting another baby and he invoked my health and safety out of his own reason. Not trying to cause trouble in your marriage at all, but I do want you to advocate for what YOU want and not assume that's he's ~necessarily~ saying that out of the goodness of his heart. Maybe he is, but maybe not, so don't walk away without advocating for your own wishes if it's something you will live to regret.

    It absolutely is always possible to have a 4th boy. You guys do need to accept that going in of course even though I know how difficult it is.

    I don't think you should be doing one attempt any more anyway so if you're still doing that we need to revisit. This is why I put in your plan that I wanted you to be doing the e4d method after having the one attempt (and honestly, I would LOVE to see you drop your cutoff stuff now too and just do e4d)

    I think that what you need to do is about the polar opposite of doing sperm sorting. Your husband is not on board with this, he's not going to be on board with sperm sorting, and just giving it to you straight, chasing after stuff that doesn't work and is super invasive may end up wrecking your relationship. You need to let go of all the stuff you were trying to get him to do and just see what happens. He may be way more cooperative if you are able to stop pressuring him to do things a certain way and I just don't see how sperm sorting is going to do anything other than make matters worse.

    Yes, you can absolutely get a girl without Clomid and Femara. I did! Girls are conceived every day without those medicines.

    Short LP actually is often caused by low ESTROGEN. At about 7 days past ovulation the body is meant to release a big surge of estrogen to help maintain the lining long enough for a baby to implant, and send a signal to the body to keep making progesterone. So in many cases (and indeed, MOST cases on this site) what happens is people, particularly those who are naturally very thin, diet too strictly or are exercising a lot, can't make enough estrogen for that to happen. Regardless of their progesterone levels without that secondary estrogen surge, their lining sloughed off and their LP was short. The odds are quite high (indeed I'd bet money on it) that you have low estrogen, not high, and that is what is causing your short LP.

    Low progesterone swaying blue was one man's theory. It never made sense, was trying to prove that timing worked (which has been absolutely debunked), and was never tested with any blood tests or anything to prove it. We have seen SO MANY CASES of women who always had perfect LP having boy after boy (ME!) and women with short LP having girls, and then gobs of people who went onto LE Diet and developed short LP and had girls, and other women who went onto the HE Diet and their LP normallized and they had boys, that it simply cannot be true. Our experiences which are numbering into thousands of people here are just not at all bearing that out.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  5. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by Onelastchance View Post
    I am really thinking too much aren't I ?
    Yes LOL but that's what I am here for. I can help put some of these concerns at rest for you, hopefully.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  6. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    Yes LOL but that's what I am here for. I can help put some of these concerns at rest for you, hopefully.
    Thank you. You know I love reading your messages. It gives me some king of support, leaving me feeling less lonely, even though I know I am alone on that journey :-). But it gives me a sense of being normal, and gives me hope somehow.

    I am doing the e4d... but again, i should say I am trying. Never know when hubby will be ok. He's more a every 5-6 days person... but i try the e4d. Waiting for AF to arrive in a few days now.

    Another question :
    I now have more time for myself. To remind you I am off exercise since we decided I didnt have anough time during lock down to do it well. So I am off exercise. Should I go back on cardio this cycle or stay on no exercise ?

    Thanks :-)

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  8. #36
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    even every 5-6 days can work so if it's that or nothing, take every 5-6 days!!!

    I am inclined for you to stay off exercise. You're already thin, you're having disruptions in your cycle, I just think you need to preserve your energy for continuing ovulation.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  9. #37
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    Hey Atomic,

    So here I am ... back ... ! I didn't give up on diet, and even though I am making sure to get enough calories, I am still losing weight but slowly... I think it's the skipping breakfast part. But anyway, I think skipping breakfast is not bad for health, so I am carrying on.

    I did kind of let things go a bit this month. No testing until day 14... no temperature. I've just been watching for EW thing, and doing e4d which surprisingly is going ok this month. Dtd on cd5, cd 9, cd 13...next one would be cd 17 which would be a good thing since i usually ovulate on cd 18-19... but hey, as always, didn't work that way.

    We BD CD13 at 10pm... thought this was just rehearsal. I lied down, until next morning. Next morning, had a bit of "discharge" so thought all sperm out. Didn't matter since still far away from ovu. Had no EW that I could see anyway. CD 14 evening eggwhite, and and very sore boobs, so thought I would check. I had a lot of water, so it was very diluted urine but very negative test as I expected. This morning CD 15 did a test, just to check with second urine, and oh god... dark positive ovulation test!!!! So now...
    DTD CD 13, positive CD 15 early morning with 2nd urine and after drinking water, which means I should ovulate CD 16...now my dilemna... if I ovulate 24 hours later, which means CD 16 morning, its a good thing... but if i ovulate late CD16, its going to be full 3 days after... If i have another attempt tonight and ovulate tomorrow morning, it's clearly a 2 attempt...I'm not sure what to do.

    Based on previous experiences (only 2 months that i m sure with ultrasound help), I ovulated following day around 6pm after positive OPK...but this morning was quite dark (darker that my usual first OPK)... Is it the same pattern everymonth or can it change ? I mean do I always ovulate same amount of time after OPK, or can be sooner some months, and later for other months...

    I'm really hesitating because if we have another go tonight, it would be late since we have a wedding... and I bet husband wont be up to it...

    Basically, if I dont have another go, at best it would be 2 or 2.5 days cut off, at worst 3 days cut off... what to I do ?

    Very very weird though, I've had not EG except last night, and no feeling of "wetness" - just very sore boobs and sore under my arms like i usually am hen i get closer to O and period.

    Please let me know what you think.

    OLC

  10. #38
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    Just wanted to remind, this is my first "proper" attemps at e4d, husband could not finish in the last couple of cycles. Before that, several months of trying the one attempt, but got wrong timing everytime

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  12. #39
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    If you're still losing weight then you are not getting enough calories. YOU MUST EAT MORE. If you think you need breakfast, eat it. We have fine results even with eating breakfast.

    I want you to have an attempt. You're already doing the e4d further apart than I would prefer, so please please have an attempt right away if you haven't already. This is NOT two attempts.

    You can't tell your pattern of ovulation based on what happened in previous months. It just doesn't tell you what will happen in the future. So you may still be a day or two out from your ovulation. We just don't know.

    so if you guys weren't able to attempt last night, try today. And when in doubt, have attempt! This message came through late my time and I didn't see it till just now, so I couldn't reply any sooner. Don't ever wait for an answer from me. You need to do whatever it takes to get pregnant now.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  13. #40
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    Unfortunately, that didn't work. We were too tired after wedding, my husband couldn't get in the mood. So this is it, again, like every single month.

    I am confused by your message : you say we are already doing the e4d too far apart than you would prefer, but isn't e4d every four days ? So we're supposed to dtd every 4 days right ? Which what I had been doing this month ... that's not right ?

    Another question : I haven't been tempting this month... except for this morning. My opks were perfect positives yesterday, so I was expecting my tempt to be low today to be on ovulation day. Since my first positive was at 6am yesterday, I thought maybe if I ovulate even 36 hours later, that would be today, and less than 3 days since last attempt... but temperature was 36.5...normal... no dip, no spike... :-( I read everywhere how adequate tempting is... and yet, would there be anyway I can still ovulate today but not see a dip in the morning ? Or is it more likely that I will ovulate tomorrow...we are sleeping at in law's tonight :-(, so that's not happening. And I am guessing tomorrow night would be too late.

    Has anyone had experience with tempting ? Do you always have a dip on O day and a rise on following day ?

    Last month, I had a significant rise less than 48 hours after surge but had not tempted the day before.

    This is so hard, and this was my last attempt as a 39 years old :-(

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