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Huge (((hugs))) Doris.
I just wanted to reassure you that while I know it's difficult to envision in a 10 month old you can have an AMAZING relationship with a son as well. My two oldest boys are adults and they are truly my best friends in the world. We have tons of things in common and I enjoy them to no end. As you well know, a mother daughter relationship is no guarantee of closeness; neither is a mother son relationship doomed to be about nothing more than kungfu and muddy clothing.
My personal opinion is for you NOT to keep a diary. I have found that the people who decide to focus on their emotional states constantly and going over them again and again, are the ones who have the hardest time coming back from gender disappointment. Get out, get busy, enjoy the child you have because every day that passes is one that will never come back again. Instead of focusing on what isn't here (yet, because at 28 you have all the time in the world!) focus on what you do have because it's equally lovely, even if it may be different and not what you imagined at first.
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Doris - I totally understand how you feel but I have to reiterate what Atomic said about the mummy and boy relationship. My boys are 8 and 5 and I have such a close relationship with them and I wouldn't swap them for all the little girls in pink frilly dresses in the whole world.
My boys absolutely adore me, protect me & tell me I am beautiful and they love me every single day. They are so affectionate and cuddly and nothing can beat a cuddle from mummy.
It took me a while to realise that there is a huge difference between gender disappointment and gender desire.
It's ok to really want a daughter in the future but you must try and enjoy the beautiful boy you have now, and realise how blessed you are to have him.
this site will offer you lots of support so you are in the right place
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