Wanting daughter - I cannot think of anything else :(

[Doris85]

Please help...

Im craving for a daughter. My relationship with my Mother is complex and far from right, which I have deeply missed. I have a 10 month old son who I love dearly but I am grieving for the girl I didn't have and secretly wished for. I am only 28, so I guess I still have time, but I am so anxious about having 5 boys and being 'daughterless'. I am such a girly girl and I cannot wait to be a mother to a daughter and have that relationship that I crave. I have spoken to my husband but he doesn't really understand and thinks Im mad. He's alright - he has his boy. I just feel sick at the thought of going to football matches, going to kung-fu lessons and cleaning dirty muddy clothes for the next 15 years. I know I sound selfish but I cannot help the way I feel and I just want to cry most of the time. No one except my husband knows how I feel.

Im craving for my little Princess. I would dote on her, as much as I dote on my son. But I feel I would have more in common doing all the girly things. I have a name already and I cant wait to start for number 2 - but the thought of them telling me its another boy would crush me. My husband is also worried about what it would do to my state of mind.

Another point also - Im at that age when lots of friends are having babies. I feel a sickening feeling in the stomach when they say they are expecting/given birth to a girl and they have such pretty names. Pink blankets, pink teddies and crisp white cardies - all opposite to a boy. I'm wondering whether to keep a diary and write down how I feel.

How do other people cope with this ugly, but unhelped emotion?

Thank you for reading x

[Doris85]

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[GreaseMonkey]

I am sorry you are feeling this way, I have been there with my 2nd son and it's not a fun place to be in.
Honestly, I have a better relationship with my mother in law than I do with my own mother. In many occasions she has been closer to me than she has been with her other 2 daughters so you might have that with your future DIL.

I am going to be honest with you, the desire doesn't go away, you just learn to accept it and move forward. In your case, you can try again and you always have that chance to get your DD. I wish you nothing but the best and I hope you get your long awaited daughter in the near future. Please don't be hard on yourself, you have lots of support here from ladies who have and are feeling the same way you do ((HUGS))

[atomic sagebrush]

This is me too, I adore my mother in law and while things are good with my mom now, many was the time I felt closer to my MIL and stepmother just in terms of having things in common (my mom is a very social and outgoing person and i am shy). Sometimes I think we expect more from the mother-daughter relationship than it can realistically sustain!

[SamS_TTCPink]

I know how you feel. We have six boys that I wouldn't swap for the world but I so desperately crave a daughter. My relationship with my mum isn't great either, it's toxic to say the least and I've always wanted that mother daughter relationship I've missed out on. My MIL hates me too!

When we got married I cried cause I was always dress shopping etc by myself and everyone else always had their mums with them. I love my boys, but they're boys! I'd love a daughter who understands what it's like to be a girl and who I can share an understanding look with when the boys are "being boys".

Even after six kids, the desire for a daughter doesn't go away, but I must say, I do love the footy games!!

There's lots of understanding women on here so feel free to share and vent, and hopefully one day you'll get your much desired daughter. xx

[motherofboys]

I feel for you. I don't have a great relationship with my mother, and used to be very jealous of the bond between my friends and their Mums. And now all those friend have their own daughters. And me? I have 4 sons. I also have 3 brothers and no sisters. I do consider myself lucky as I always wanted boys, I assumed I'd get girls too, but wanted boys first. I love all things boy. Their shows are much more exciting, their toys so much cooler, I even prefered their clothes. I am not a very pink person.
But with each boy, I wanted to have a girl next that little bit more. Now I have 1 shot left, and I am all boy'd out. I need to finish up my family with a girl. But I know deep down 5 boys is how its going to be for me and its disheartening. I plan to sway but don't feel these much point. I wont stop at 4 though because I do want another baby whatever the gender.